babtoundey:



You don't deserve her. You are dating someone more intelligent and focused than you are. Please, let her go. Look for your mate.

go and sit down abeg,, so getting a master degree means she is more intelligent and focus but expanding her business is not,, go and get that masters let me continue with this business in 3yrs let us meet and compare,, this is how you people keep deceiving young people and after school they are mostly tied down with 50k jobs and can't think for themselves,, education is not only aquired on the four wall of the universities ,, when you get your own girl teach her to read and get her phd, she can come back and become a liability to you, my own woman after her first degree must learn how to make money, get basic skills and grow a business,it is my choice and you can't do anything about it, besides we have settled and she have seen reasons to put that school on hold for now.

DrDunamis:


Amazing, but why can't you kill two birds with one stone? There's truly no cause for a misunderstanding between you too. And if you breakup or even consider breaking up with her then you might somewhat be limited in vision. While there is credence to your concerns about your already gotten degrees the fact remains that having a masters degree opens up more opportunities and who knows where it will take her to.
The truth is you should change your mind and not feel intimidated at all by her ambitions and academic desires instead support her fully

l am not intimidated bro, my complain boils more out of concern than intimidation , certificate in this era doesn't make anyone bigger, l have a degree bro,but l have meet a lot of this igbo guys doing well in their business ,their level of exposure and the way they package themselves doesn't even show any sign they didn't attend a university, grooming yourself and making good money set you on the pedestal not certificate,, though we have settled, thanks for ur advice

Funkybabee:
If we make the findings very well

You must be olodo during the days of your school

I hope that lady see this post because this kind of mentality can kill her dream if she mistakenly marry you


I don't have a better job but I aim to do my master if possible as God willeth, starting at the end of this year.

No fund at hand, planning accommodation and relocation in this same year but I believe my God is all sufficient God, my all in all will do it

God will not answer this lazy prayer,go and finish the master without finance afer digging the hole in-between rigorously they will still dump you without a job, no be girls like you dey build businesses and companies of their own, keep using masters as an excuse for laziness,,

Manna4Gurls:
Even if she later left you, focus on your business.


Whenever she came across you after the long journey, try to grab this four word she'll unconciously announce


"FINALY YOU MADE IT"

Are u trying to say she’s not going to make it just cos she’s also pursuing what she believe in….??

victooman:
Please help advice me,

We both finished our NYSC service last year, luckily enough we started a POS business and as God will have it, we are both doing well, we both make a minimum of 5k at least on daily basis.

The main problem is that of recent she is talking about applying for her masters degree, l told her what is the essence of going for masters degree when the degree we obtain has not been any useful to us, why not expand this particular business, be financially stable before you start talking about masters, beside we need to build our self financially well if we have to settle down.

She told me that is her long time ambition and she is not expecting any money from me, she left my house this morning with anger.

Please Nairalanders, did l do anything wrong? What is the best way to handle this issue?

Believe this or not but she doesn't really believe in you, And she's probably seeing some other dude and she's obviously impressed by his success or financial status.

Of course time will make you see the truth in what I've just inferred.

And finally believe me when I say this is the beginning of the end of that relationship.

NoToPile:
I don't even get what the hullabo is all about and the way OP is replying people makes me wonder.

She wants a masters fine, you only need the information and she's Informed you, I don't get what you are worked up about.

Masters that is 1 year or 2 years max with time to even run business, so what's the fuss about.

Having an extra degree worked for some of us, some it's business, everyone mustn't have the same orientation.



I was even thinking she wanted to break up with you, if you want to break up with her because she's going for masters then she might be better off without you.


What kind of boys are being bred this day sef.

The way he’s attacking people is hilarious. He’s just shouting the certificate is useless despite people referring him to the future importance of the said certificate. Truly, this country is not really helping those who has education at heart but I just don’t know why some set of individuals will want to force their opinion on others. It’s not worth it. We all can’t follow same route in life.

This same issue is what I’m frowning at with someone I know just becos his gas nd pos business were on smooth sailing then he’s attacking small kids who are trying to get their first degree that he isn’t even sure they will make use of it as if he sees thru the future just because he was unable to make use of his own. Mind u, he’s even receiving stipends from npower thru his degree. What if his degree is not there how can he become a beneficiary of the said program. Because of this, I have to move away from that circle of gathering.

Some set are fond of misleading people all in the name of baseless advice while some do it so that u can’t measure upto or more than them.

Definitely whatever certificate we acquired may or may not be useful now but sooner or later it can.

We are just humans nobody knows tomorrow, we all should follow what we feel is best for us.!!!!

This issue is just a matter of communication. He shouldn’t have discourage her off her plan rather than advice her to combine the two tasks or she employ a staff that will help her in overseeing her business till she finish her program.

My fear right now is even establishing a business considering how lucky or unlucky someone can be plus I do not even have a capital ATM but I do really wish to venture into that angle maybe sooner or later.!!!

Islandlady:
This your comment is absolutely unnecessary... can't you comprehend, is the op jobless to you

He is only showing his concern and opinion

He never made mention of op been jobless. I think you are not getting the point. To channel ones energy does not necessary mean financial gain.

Kriss216:
You're not her father or husband...allow her do whatever she wants. Learn to channel this energy to better your life and that of your family!


I know you're surprised how a girl you've been struggling with all of a sudden has money and resources to further her studies...well, she's a Nigerian girl, they always got plan B.

Their husband or boyfriend are not always in their plan B.

Know this and know peace.
An average Nigerian girl that knows her onions is never broke. For my eyes, one girl wey no fine make 20k billing different guys (simps) within one hour. If a girl tell you she is broke, no believe her ooo, she just wan bill you.

victooman:
Please help advice me,

We both finished our NYSC service last year, luckily enough we started a POS business and as God will have it, we are both doing well, we both make a minimum of 5k at least on daily basis.

The main problem is that of recent she is talking about applying for her masters degree, l told her what is the essence of going for masters degree when the degree we obtain has not been any useful to us, why not expand this particular business, be financially stable before you start talking about masters, beside we need to build our self financially well if we have to settle down.

She told me that is her long time ambition and she is not expecting any money from me, she left my house this morning with anger.

Please Nairalanders, did l do anything wrong? What is the best way to handle this issue?

Your spirit is just jealous that she's planning to upgrade...if you like no upgrade too, she go just upgrade to a "more qualified" candidate

victooman:
buying masters is not a self development in Nigeria as it stands now, l will rather pay get a new tech skills or go into phone accessories ,pilling up certificate that pay just 5 percent of it holders in most cases is not self improvement to me, it is gambling.

you are difficult..

Your babe dey try.

Now I understand.

Who said you can't acquire a skill and still have your masters to sharpen yourself for any opportunity? Smh.

victooman:
go and sit down abeg,, so getting a master degree means she is more intelligent and focus but expanding her business is not,, go and get that masters let me continue with this business in 3yrs let us meet and compare,, this is how you people keep deceiving young people and after school they are mostly tied down with 50k jobs and can't think for themselves,, education is not only aquired on the four wall of the universities ,, when you get your own girl teach her to read and get her phd, she can come back and become a liability to you, my own woman after her first degree must learn how to make money, get basic skills and grow a business,it is my choice and you can't do anything about it, besides we have settled and she have seen reasons to put that school on hold for now.

You are myopic. It's obvious. You don't have to argue it. Businesses always lead to success while education always leads to "a 50 thousand salary", failure. You see how crude and thoughtless you sound. Who told you that your business will turn you into another Dangote in three years time and not another good for nothing idiot grappling with heart wrenching poverty..? And because she has master she cannot work on other ventures. You're shallow in thinking. Education is not supposed to limit your thoughts, it is supposed to broaden it and opens room for more grounds and opportunities.

Why don't you for once allow everyone the freedom to test what is good for them. Not all animals can survive on ground. The one that can fly may not be able to swim. If your own success is locked up in POS business don't castigate or disturb another person who wants to explore a nobler route.

To give you back your own advice, you can train your children to detest education. Deny them the pain of going to even primary school because education is not limited to the four walls of the classroom.

This aside, you sound very puerile too. That somebody decides to date you doesn't mean she has given you the map of her life to shape. If all your woman desires is education, to hell with your "she must, she must". It's her life not yours.

Why will a lady you have not married be living under your roof in the first instance? Both of you are damaged already!

victooman:
Please help advice me,

We both finished our NYSC service last year, luckily enough we started a POS business and as God will have it, we are both doing well, we both make a minimum of 5k at least on daily basis.

The main problem is that of recent she is talking about applying for her masters degree, l told her what is the essence of going for masters degree when the degree we obtain has not been any useful to us, why not expand this particular business, be financially stable before you start talking about masters, beside we need to build our self financially well if we have to settle down.

She told me that is her long time ambition and she is not expecting any money from me, she left my house this morning with anger.

Please Nairalanders, did l do anything wrong? What is the best way to handle this issue?

Bahamas95:
A Chinese proverb says......."Don't lock a bird up in a cage, allow it fly. If it's truly yours it will come back"




I know OP is scared he might lose her to other guys, if you're meant for each other nothing can break the bond. There're still few faithful women out there, she could be one of them.

After dem don finish am inside life abi, make me come chop leftovers. If my bird don fly make e no bother come back again cus another bird go don occupy the space

abiolaoladipupo:



After dem don finish am inside life abi, make me come chop leftovers. If my bird don fly make e no bother come back again cus another bird go don occupy the space

I was making reference to the virtuous women out there, not oloshos. Even bad wife wey dey stay with you for house fit still cheat on you, she must not go out first.

I have a corper friend that came all the way from Jos to serve in Benin, she's engaged. Are you telling me her fiance shouldn't have allowed her go because other guys will sleep with her? I don't follow her everywhere but one thing I know about her is that she isn't promiscuous........If you see bad person you go know, you nor fit hide bad character for long.

Gentlesoul2021:


The way he’s attacking people is hilarious. He’s just shouting the certificate is useless despite people referring him to the future importance of the said certificate. Truly, this country is not really helping those who has education at heart but I just don’t know why some set of individuals will want to force their opinion on others. It’s not worth it. We all can’t follow same route in life.

This same issue is what I’m frowning at with someone I know just become his gas nd pos business were on smooth sailing then he’s attacking small kids who are trying to get their first degree that he isn’t even sure they will make use of it as if he sees thru the future just because he was unable to make use of his own. Mind u, he’s even receiving stipends from npower thru his degree. What if his degree is not there how can he become a beneficiary of the said program. Because of this, I have to move away from that circle of gathering.

Some set are fond of misleading people all in the name of baseless advice while some do it so that u can’t measure upto or more than them.

Definitely whatever certificate we acquired may or may not be useful now but sooner or later it can.

We are just humans nobody knows tomorrow, we all should follow what we feel is best for us.!!!!

This issue is just a matter of communication. He shouldn’t have discourage her off her plan rather than advice her to combine the two tasks or she employ a staff that will help her in overseeing her business till she finish her program.

My fear right now is even establishing a business considering how lucky or unlucky someone can be plus I do not even have a capital ATM but I do really wish to venture into that angle maybe sooner or later.!!!

You are spot on, the job I have now if I didn't have a master degree I wouldnt have got it, all it needed was a master degree and It came 5 years after I got the MSc. The day it came it was like a dream, meanwhile I had been working with BSc.

I would never ever discourage any one from going to school or going further lailai. Everybody's path is different.

I was speaking with a woman yesterday who's son was into photography, he initially got admission full time to FUNAB, he told his mum he wanted photography, he left the admission he did 1 year photography training, moved to pefti to do a diploma now he has his own studio set up,I think he specializes in food photography now he's doing part time in UNILAG with his business and he will almost be through. He owns a solid business and he's getting his cert.

Also for a business as fluid as POS or gas that one govt policy can change everything one would need to diversify. Look at GOkada for e. G.
Your friend has his degree he's using to receive Npower stipend even if he feels is chicken change and is discouraging others from going to school, does he know what their degree may bring them.


Is it not this same education that made some people for life.

I personally feel she would be better of without him, because he has only one line of reasoning and people like that are not easy to live with.

NoToPile:


You are spot on, the job I have now if I didn't have a master degree I wouldnt have got it, all it needed was a master degree and It came 5 years after I got the MSc. The day it came it was like a dream, meanwhile I had been working with BSc.

I would never ever discourage any one from going to school or going further lailai. Everybody's path is different.

I was speaking with a woman yesterday who's son was into photography, he initially got admission full time to FUNAB, he told his mum he wanted photography, he left the admission he did 1 year photography training, moved to pefti to do a diploma now he has his own studio set up,I think he specializes in food photography now he's doing part time in UNILAG with his business and he will almost be through. He owns a solid business and he's getting his cert.

Also for a business as fluid as POS or gas that one govt policy can change everything one would need to diversify. Look at GOkada for e. G.
Your friend has his degree he's using to receive Npower stipend even if he feels is chicken change and is discouraging others from going to school, does he know what their degree may bring them.


Is it not this same education that made some people for life.

I personally feel she would be better of without him, because he has only one line of reasoning and people like that are not easy to live with.

You have spoken very well bro…
he wasn’t thinking that way just becos his small biz got a good ride from the start knowing not everyone got such luck. He tot everybody can be unfortunate if they goto sch, had to do away with such gatherings….

I knew some of my friends that set up a biz with what they cud save from nysc nd the biz ended been folded up. They were somewhat sober of the wasted fund now they pick up teaching nd other work to keep the soul moving.

If we tell them not everyone can have a smooth sailing in a biz they think u are delusional….

I bliv the girl knows what to do…

Just let her be. what will be will always be.

victooman:
Please help advice me,

We both finished our NYSC service last year, luckily enough we started a POS business and as God will have it, we are both doing well, we both make a minimum of 5k at least on daily basis.

The main problem is that of recent she is talking about applying for her masters degree, l told her what is the essence of going for masters degree when the degree we obtain has not been any useful to us, why not expand this particular business, be financially stable before you start talking about masters, beside we need to build our self financially well if we have to settle down.

She told me that is her long time ambition and she is not expecting any money from me, she left my house this morning with anger.

Please Nairalanders, did l do anything wrong? What is the best way to handle this issue?

This is simple. She doesn't need your assistance financially at this but at this time your support will go a long way.

That's if you still want to be with her. You can keep working and hustling and she can also follow up with her studies.


I believe it's doable. Only if you don't trust her going off to run the masters prog.

This season is a season of " Long time ambition" allow her or she will fight dirty ooo

Look Mr man,

I get your point and I also get hers, there is nothing wrong with her wanting to further her studies inspite of the fact that the first degree seems useless at the moment. What is very clear is that both of you don't have common vision, maybe because you have not discussed it at a very deep level to clarify the following:

Who she wants to become in life.
What she wants to achieve in life.
Where she is going in life.
How she want to get there (values, i.e. is she willing to steal or sleep with any man or animal or do juju or join a cult to get all the above).

All of the above goes for you.

The major reasons for marital and a mismatch in the above, many of you young people are fascinated by so called beauty/good looking, make up, six pack, car, money, good sex and all sorts of things that have no significant on the fulfilment of your purpose in life.

The main issue here is her lack of maturity in tabling her plan before you long before making the decision and so that you can work her plan into your future together, which will give you the assurance that you seek, which is why you're unhappy.

The second issue is where she is getting the money to further her studies from, this is the questions you should be asking her or what she should have told you, this is a very crucial issue since you have both been struggling financially, I don't mean any disrespect here.

The amount of money you both make from your business will not be able to fund her masters degree, so I suspect that someone with better financial prospect is in the picture and she has not told you - Please forgive me if I am wrong, but it begs the questions******

You can either sit her down and ask her about five questions of which the answers will help you to make the necessary decisions that will not be emotionally driven or you can just let her go and carry on with your life.

My advice to you is to try and sit her down, ask her 5 pertinent questions.

The source of the funds****

When did she start thinking about going back to school and why the sudden decision.

Are you part of her future plan?

And the three points I made above - Who she wants to become in life. What she wants to achieve in life. Where she is going in life - Many people don't know where they're going in life, they just things like, "I want to be rich", "I want to get married", "I want to do this and I want to have that", without a clear purpose of what it will take to get there and it affects their life purpose.

You cannot control anyone's life or decision, but your own.

If you can't plan and sort out simple issues like this one at this stage of your life, then big trouble may be brewing in the future that may waste your time and bring pain. One of the indices of success in life/marriage is the ability to be able to work out issues amicably with your partner, even when you don't see things the same way.

My advice to you is to find a wise and God fearing adult to mentor you and seek God's plan for your life, you should get a vision for your life and take this your business to the next level or use the proceeds from this business to start or build another one, let your destiny/purpose become your pre-occupation.

Marriage can make or mar your destiny, pay attention to your spiritual, emotional and psychological growth.

The ability to discern people is extremely important for progress in life and destiny fulfilment, please pay attention to your growth in all aspect of life and pray that God will guide to meet the person that you both build your future together.

victooman:
God will not answer this lazy prayer,go and finish the master without finance afer digging the hole in-between rigorously they will still dump you without a job, no be girls like you dey build businesses and companies of their own, keep using masters as an excuse for laziness,,

You are not a God

I'm not running after money, our goals and race are different.

I place my academic career over everything except kingdom service

Funkybabee:



You are not a God

I'm not running after money, our goals and race are different.

I place my academic career over everything except kingdom service

you need money to pursue academic career, dont put yourself into unnecessary temptation.

victooman:
you need money to pursue academic career, dont put yourself into unnecessary temptation.

Yes I know, it's not temptation

People do not know the essence of Master Degree.
You see someone who graduated, jobless and have not been able to make good use of BSc will suddenly go for Master Degree, spend huge money and still come out and join the Labor Market.

Masters is when you have gained experience in a particular field and you decide to further acquire more knowledge in that specialize field.

There's no job that you cant successfully handle as a BSc holder. If you are not intelligent as a Bsc holder, Masters wont make you know anything still.

Since she want to pursue it, you just have to let her do it, since she's not asking you for money, if not you will be regarded as an enemy of progress.

Funkybabee:


Yes I know, it's not temptation

it is temptation, when you can't settle the bills that come with msc devil will capitalize and start putting you in a situation that will lead you astray, my sister get a skill try your best and create a sustainable source of income then you can go for your masters in peace, realistically it doesn't guarantee much now ,,

victooman:
it is temptation, when you can't settle the bills that come with msc devil will capitalize and start putting you in a situation that will lead you astray, my sister get a skill try your best and create a sustainable source of income then you can go for your masters in peace, realistically it doesn't guarantee much now ,,

Lies, did you save your 4 years bachelor program

Your faith is different from mine

I cannot be stranded

victooman:
l am not intimidated bro, my complain boils more out of concern than intimidation , certificate in this era doesn't make anyone bigger, l have a degree bro,but l have meet a lot of this igbo guys doing well in their business ,their level of exposure and the way they package themselves doesn't even show any sign they didn't attend a university, grooming yourself and making good money set you on the pedestal not certificate,, though we have settled, thanks for ur advice

Beautiful

victooman:
go and sit down abeg,, so getting a master degree means she is more intelligent and focus but expanding her business is not,, go and get that masters let me continue with this business in 3yrs let us meet and compare,, this is how you people keep deceiving young people and after school they are mostly tied down with 50k jobs and can't think for themselves,, education is not only aquired on the four wall of the universities ,, when you get your own girl teach her to read and get her phd, she can come back and become a liability to you, my own woman after her first degree must learn how to make money, get basic skills and grow a business,it is my choice and you can't do anything about it, besides we have settled and she have seen reasons to put that school on hold for now.

Same philosophy here. After my wife finished her first degree, I sent her to a culinary school to study baking. Today she makes nothing less than 50k profit every week running a snack shop. We are thing of establishing more branches and a baking school in the near future.

While doing business, you can encourage your wife to acquire a skill according to her passion or interests.