As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids - Romance (6)

As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by EkelediliBuhari: 11:30am On May 17, 2022

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

This is the best decision you can make for your self…

Don’t let anyone pressure you else you will have yourself to beat up in the future

1 Like

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Nobody: 11:32am On May 17, 2022

I am sorry about your health condition and I pray you find healing someday. I would suggest you adopt a child as I believe the joy of having someone call you mommy will help stabilize your mental state as well. I pray you find peace.

Pls render some help to me if u can pls. Check my previous thread for details. I am a man who has found myself in very bad situation right now and doing all I can to feed my family. Pls help me.

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Holluwhakemmy(f): 11:33am On May 17, 2022

JoyousFurnitire:
Kemo are you sure? Osinachi thought two is better. Recently heard that one husband told his wife that he'll kill her and run out of town

Yes my brother two are better than one, you know some people are miserable it is better to marry your best friend.

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Idonweak: 11:38am On May 17, 2022

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

I suffer similar fate with mental illness. Mine is bdp and depression. I also determined not to have children and if at all i must have a child. My wife must be psychologically and emotionally stable.

2 Likes

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Nobody: 11:38am On May 17, 2022*

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Medianna(f): 11:39am On May 17, 2022

franchasofficia:
I am married and its one of my best decisions.

I use to be among those guys that detaste marriage for no just reason, but here I am happily married. When I look at my son, joy overwhelms my heart and I can't wait to have a girl child too.

Why many people end up in a disastrous marriage is lies and being too secretive to the man or woman they want to marry.

Don't lie to your partner before marriage, open up with your fears and some negative things about your life. If you are a guy that finds it difficult to resist beautiful women, let your wife to be know, don't keep it a secret.

If you are broke, don't lie to her that you are rich just to lure her into marrying you only for her to discover otherwise.

If your job is unstable tell her, don't tell her that you are thr CEO of your company when in reality you are just the gatekeeper which isn't bad.

Another thing is, be realistic with your expectations from the opposite sex, don't expect too much, just be realistic with the things and qualities you expect from your would be husband or wife. Don't go thinking because you are too beautiful, a virgin, with good paying job that the man you would marry will never cheat on you, nope, just zero your mind and put your fears and expectations to God to help you take care of.

When people become honest, realistic and with less expectations from the opposite sex, they will end up in a happy, healthy marriage.

Marriage is sweet, but this doesn't mean that there are no challenges in marriage.

One of the greatest challenges in marriage today is finance, once a man is able to sort that out via legitimate income source, his marriage issues are 70% solved.

Thanks

1 Like 1 Share

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by JoyousFurnitire(m): 11:39am On May 17, 2022

Holluwhakemmy:
Yes my brother two are better than one, you know some people are miserable it is better to marry your best friend.

I just wonder who doesn't want to marry the best person they found?. My point is the saying; two is better is not right. Well, except they agree (and agreement could be altered because even the best people change due to some factors or events of life).

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by bibiking7(m): 11:41am On May 17, 2022

I have worked in a retirement home before. Even people in retirement homes get visits from family and it makes them happy.
Most people feel this way before marriage and kids. Just pray that you find someone that matches your looney. It might even be the cure for your depression and anxiety. Someone that calms your fears, and lifts your spirit up when you are feeling down.

2 Likes

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by tensazangetsu20(m): 11:42am On May 17, 2022

Klass99:
Ehn ehn, tell me something! Are you one of these men? How do you know they are a lot? I only know of a few, about 5 to be precise. Including you, that would be 6.

Trust me there's a lot

1 Like

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by kingyakos: 11:42am On May 17, 2022

JoyousFurnitire:
You know maybe dem get job for you?

U no need job?... grin

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Holluwhakemmy(f): 11:42am On May 17, 2022

JoyousFurnitire:
I just wonder who doesn't want to marry the best person they found?. My point is the saying; two is better is not right. Well, except they agree (and agreement could be altered because even the best people change due to some factors or events of life).

That's life for you ( fate)

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by zomby(m): 11:48am On May 17, 2022

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

You need a single advise...
Go and get a professional help.

There is no such thing as impossible.

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Nobody: 11:52am On May 17, 2022*

4 Likes

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Nobody: 11:52am On May 17, 2022*

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by joshuaidibia(m): 11:53am On May 17, 2022

Carcholce:
Why not start from a mental home first. Take care of the problem.

A lot of Nigerian women have mental problem but they call it “mood swings”

1 Like

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by ema2020: 11:58am On May 17, 2022

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.Africa will better if many reasons like u as for me I don't have time for anything call baby I count it as a stress

Please advise.

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Muyuba: 11:58am On May 17, 2022

Well, I am a medical doctor and specialist, psychiatrist. I may be of help.
You mentioned the following:
1. Children
2. Marriage
3. Leaving the country
4. Retirement home
5. Helping community
6. Mental health
7. Depression
You may wish that we discuss. May be I could be of help.
My contact email address is: yunusamufutau@yahoo.com
What’s app number: 08035625647
Call number: as above

1 Like

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by joepepsy(m): 12:01pm On May 17, 2022

This was my life before but i fought and got my life back...i can help you with my expirence.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Nobody: 12:03pm On May 17, 2022

Poswahala:
Please am not suffering from mood swings..this is something that is affecting my life and not some mood swings

He didn't mean you are having mood swings. He meant most ladies, unlike you, don't even know that they have some subtle mental issues, hence they call it mood swing. But in your case, you are fully aware. So like he said, focus on solving the root cause of your concern, which is the mental issue. Unfortunately, our society isn't properly fit for dealing with such things so most people have to handle it themselves. I could give some pointers but....

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by mcdokwe(m): 12:10pm On May 17, 2022

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

No guy will say no to "Sex but no marriage"

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by bluefilm: 12:10pm On May 17, 2022

Poswahala:
[s]Guys I genuinely need some adviceBecause of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.Please advise[/s].

Nonsense.

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by litaninja(m): 12:10pm On May 17, 2022

Nigerians are really forcing their wishes down your throat in the comments.

Do what pleases you. Enjoy your life on your terms.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by maasoap(m): 12:11pm On May 17, 2022

Poswahala:
I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Why don't you try the child thing and find out, just a child for a start?

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by WHITELIGHTER: 12:12pm On May 17, 2022

Carcholce:
Why not start from a mental home first. Take care of the problem.

A lot of Nigerian women have mental problem but they call it “mood swings”

Abeg where be your location, make we go drink cold Heineken

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by WHITELIGHTER: 12:14pm On May 17, 2022

JOACHINpedro:
Which guy will reject this term and condition?

I doubt any Naija guy will reject such conditions

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Osasking: 12:15pm On May 17, 2022

Hmmm who will take care of you when you get old huh

. Adopted children you guess! There is no situation bigger than God, your health will be restore. Always be positive you are not the first other pass through and God came through for them. Stay strong

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by maasoap(m): 12:15pm On May 17, 2022

nenyewrites:
Lol, and it's children that won't be busy? If you're no longer living with your parents, how long have you stayed with them when you visited? That's if you've ever visited, because I know so many people that haven't seen their parents for more than 5 years because of economic issues.

Nigerians should start building retirement homes because what people need is companionship not children checking up on them.

Klass99:
Mwah

People are always pushing the narrative of having children for old age and as a retirement plan, on these streets. But how many of them actively do good, do right and do well by their own parents in real life?

Like you rightly said the Naija economy makes it hard, for folks to regularly visit parents and spend quality time with them, or even support them financially from afar without fail. Life gets busy, people are bugged down with life challenges of unemployment, underemployment, long job searches, fruitless business start ups etcetera and parents are either intentionally or unintentionally neglected by these same children they are told to have for when they are old.

Absolute truth. Fact

1 Like

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by CorperKola: 12:18pm On May 17, 2022

Carcholce:
Why not start from a mental home first. Take care of the problem.

A lot of Nigerian women have mental problem but they call it “mood swings”

You are wicked!!

Re: As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids by Nobody: 12:19pm On May 17, 2022

Medianna:
This is what people say and think before marriage but how many married people can stand and say what you just said with all sincerity?

Yes, indeed not many couples. And that is because most couples are together on the wrong foundation. We are in naija. We know the many things that make men and women seek to get married. But as long as those reasons are dishonest, selfish, callous or a means to escape one thing or the other, they will fall into the category of couples you are referring to. But believe me, marriage, true honest loving marriage, with mutual respect and learnt understanding, is a beautiful experience, despite any challenge that comes. I know. Before we met, I and my wife were mostly depressed individuals. But individually, we were disciplined enough not to rush into marriage for any reason apart from what was true to our inner selves. Then we met, and you can say we married late in our lives. But immediately, because our connection was true, we built each other up and brought out the inner joy and peace in us. Even our individual finances started improving drastically. There is no force more powerful than a couple agreeing on any matter in this life. But... everyone with their priorities and choices.

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