This is a family matter therefore he should seek advice through family members and friends.

cayorday89:

Na make the guy pray make he no jam, but some men actually get away with it due to the gentility of some women, same with some soft men who are taken for granted, myself and my siblings call my mum Ruth abokoku because the man too like this strong hand things.

Hahahahaha!

My mum is the opposite. Any time my dad tries to exercise the so-called iron hand, my mum goes marlian on him. Baba will now cam dan and start reporting her to me. complaining that my mum no get chill

Raalsalghul:

How many kids does your uncle have if I may ask?

Dey try to read ehn..e go beta

Is it with 70k he wants to pay lawyer? Your uncle is a lazy man. My advise is you shouldn't follow in his steps. A lazy man with no busy schedule and has enough time to hear gossip about his wife's activities.

Please advise your uncle to find rent, if not he should get ready to pack out. In 2022, and people still reason like this. Mtchew

ReneJay:
Good day nairalanders. I want to seek your advice on behalf of my uncle.

Pardon me for any typographical errors. My uncle has been married to this lady for almost 16 years. They have two kids. According to his narration, the first five years of marriage was wonderful.

But things took a sudden twist later on. The wife has changed in both attitude and manners. The man is a civil servant and earns 70k monthly and his wife is a teacher. She earns 35k monthly.

The twist is, the wife has stopped supporting the man financially. In fact, anything she buys for the family or for the children, she asks for the money, even as little as spice cubes. My uncle had to report the matter to my father, his brother, after several years of enduring her strange attitude. My father called her to table the matter. She admitted the accusations. In her defence, she said it is the responsibility of the man (husband) to provide for the family. what broke my uncle's heart was the day the rent of their house was due, he hadnt pieced together the rent and was going about to seek loans from friends and family. He asked her if she knew who to loan from and she said she didn't know who to loan from. To his dismay, he got wind from a friend that his wife was looking for a piece of land to buy with God knows how and where she got the money from. She even told him she doesn't have a dime to add to whatever he's able to raise. He does everything in the house from A to Z.

He needs advice on what to do. Should he file for divorce and hope things would get Rosy enough to start afresh with someone else? Or should he call for a meeting with her family and our family to try to mediate and make her see reasons why she should be supportive?

Matured advice please.

Godoverevery:
So a man can decide not to be financially responsible for the wife in marriage once he as a genuine reason right??

So a man can decide to go buy a plot of land while the wife need money for surgery once he has a genuine reason right

No matter what the reason once you in marriage you have no right to do anything without thinking about the family first......if she feels a land is more important than the reoccurrence expenditure then a man too can decide to go buy a land while is wife needs money for surgery.

Like I have said umpteen times now, we don't have enough of the background information on the actual couple to decide who the Saint or demon is in this case.

Kobojunkie:
Try to be less emotional in your assessment of these issues and may be you will be better able to see beyond your hatred.

We don't know the exact reason for why this woman has chosen to withhold what she has so she can instead have it available for future(as we assume here). Neither did her husband reveal this reason for us. So it is rash to conclude she is being wicked simply on the comment of the man's relative here.

U are abroad where it is normal to split bills..thats why your mouth dey always be like okro

Ask the average nigerian woman...and she will own it with her full chest...that her money is for her but her husband's money is for the home and she can only support with little if she desires....

the average nigerian woman is never happy to help her husband with bills....even if shes doing it....its like a burden....only few of them are amazing that support their husband lovingly from the heart as duty.....

A woman paying bills like rent and school fees is enough reason for peace to fly out the window

amazingspiderma:
Woman want to buy land, this OP is here complaining.
When you marry you will understand how valuable the woman is to the man.

I don't judge people by rumors, I watch their actions.

Thank God she wasn't going to buy IPhone 13.

OP you and your uncle are myopic. She is thinking long term. I believe if she were to let him know, he would misappropriate the money.

If I were the woman, the land will stay in my name.

These extended family members that are not married are the problem of that marriage.


Thank me later in 5 years time.

OP get a life, your family is the problem.
Why should buying land become a problem.

I am a married man, and I stand for any woman who can think ahead for the welfare of their family. Some men don't have the ability to discern a good woman.
You and your uncle have foundation problem. You want to dominate the woman from making progress.

A woman who is planning to stop your uncle from been a tenant to making him a landlord.

I wish I can see you face to face, I suppose knock you.

Get out of that house, parasite.

That is practical lie. No woman who truly lover her husband will leave him to be jumping from one house to another in search of money to pay rent yet hide her money in the name of trying to make the man a landlord. That woman will eventually divorce that man or frustrate him out of this life some day. Women in love truly step in for their husbands in term of needs. If the man is earning 70k and solely taken responsibility for the family's need, he is clearly not the wasteful, drinking or womanizing kind of man. He deserves love and respect.

ReneJay:
Good day nairalanders. I want to seek your advice on behalf of my uncle.

Pardon me for any typographical errors. My uncle has been married to this lady for almost 16 years. They have two kids. According to his narration, the first five years of marriage was wonderful.

But things took a sudden twist later on. The wife has changed in both attitude and manners. The man is a civil servant and earns 70k monthly and his wife is a teacher. She earns 35k monthly.

The twist is, the wife has stopped supporting the man financially. In fact, anything she buys for the family or for the children, she asks for the money, even as little as spice cubes. My uncle had to report the matter to my father, his brother, after several years of enduring her strange attitude. My father called her to table the matter. She admitted the accusations. In her defence, she said it is the responsibility of the man (husband) to provide for the family. what broke my uncle's heart was the day the rent of their house was due, he hadnt pieced together the rent and was going about to seek loans from friends and family. He asked her if she knew who to loan from and she said she didn't know who to loan from. To his dismay, he got wind from a friend that his wife was looking for a piece of land to buy with God knows how and where she got the money from. She even told him she doesn't have a dime to add to whatever he's able to raise. He does everything in the house from A to Z.

He needs advice on what to do. Should he file for divorce and hope things would get Rosy enough to start afresh with someone else? Or should he call for a meeting with her family and our family to try to mediate and make her see reasons why she should be supportive?

Matured advice please.

how kids do they have

Ishilove:

Hahahahaha!

My mum is the opposite. Any time my dad tries to exercise the so-called iron hand, my mum goes marlian on him. Baba will now cam dan and start reporting her to me. complaining that my mum no get chill

My mum is once in a blue moon and they will not gist for a while, then we the children can now do anyhow because nobody to report you to the other. No specific solutions to marital issues, even same case/issues of two different families have different causes peculiar to each family.

aribisala0:
Are you alright?

Yes sure.
Are you?

If you say shame on me, then shame on you too na

Haakeem:
Shame on you!

I can’t even blame her. On the other thread a man went to his sidechick’s house to eat pepper soup. After toiling with a man for years, he would remember he now has choices and the woman would be left high and dry. Even packer she no go see collect.

Make them dey manage themselves dey go abeg. I no fit put mouth. My own be say, nature should try pair selfless people together.

aribisala0:
Are you alright?

Dont be surprised...most women have the mentality of their money is theirs alone but the husband's money should be for the house...

so theres nothing wromg in what the wife is doing to most women...once every man knows this...u have peace

advanceDNA:
1. U are abroad where it is normal to split bills..thats why your mouth dey always be like okro

2. Ask the average nigerian woman...and she will own it with her full chest...that her money is for her but her husband's money is for the home and she can only support with little if she desires....

3. the average nigerian woman is never happy to help her husband with bills....even if shes doing it....its like a burden....only few of them are amazing that support their husband lovingly from the heart as duty.....

1. It is not normal to split bills abroad. Stop confusing your delusion with reality. It is a segment that have accepted the culture of splitting bills while others remain with old way of the man carrying the load because he is a man. Wherever you find yourself, you go for those that are like minded. Not those who are not all so you can whine as if it is all about you at the end of the day.

2. Then you should stop dealing with the average Nigerian woman and look for those who would instead share bills with you.

3. This is really commonsense abeg! Leave the average Nigerian woman, the same way you don't let the alata women come near you, and she will leave you alone.

faithfull18:
If she changed five years into the marriage, then you should find out why. An action from your uncle could have triggered the reaction.

Who takes this ur adivise if not ur fellow no accountability females? In ur world women are never wrong. Nawa for ur gender

Kobojunkie:
1. It is not normal to split bills abroad. Stop confusing your delusion with reality. It is a segment that have accepted the culture of splitting bills while others remain with old way of the man carrying the load because he is a man. Wherever you find yourself, you go for those that are like minded. Not those who are not all so you can whine as if it is all about you at the end of the day.

2. Then you should stop the dealing with the average Nigerian woman and instead look for those who would instead Share bills.

3. This is really commonsense abeg! Leave the average Nigerian woman, the same way you don't let the alata women come near you, and she will leave you alone.

U no dey dissapoint....sufayo

advanceDNA:
U no dey dissapoint....sufayo

Look whose talking abeg!

What is special in marrying Daughters Of EVE[quote author=Ishilove post=113370483]
Marry first[/quote]

Hmmmm Nairaland. Nothing person will not read.

I like your perception.

amazingspiderma:
Woman want to buy land, this OP is here complaining.
When you marry you will understand how valuable the woman is to the man.

I don't judge people by rumors, I watch their actions.

Thank God she wasn't going to buy IPhone 13.

OP you and your uncle are myopic. She is thinking long term. I believe if she were to let him know, he would misappropriate the money.

If I were the woman, the land will stay in my name.

These extended family members that are not married are the problem of that marriage.


Thank me later in 5 years time.

OP get a life, your family is the problem.
Why should buying land become a problem.

I am a married man, and I stand for any woman who can think ahead for the welfare of their family. Some men don't have the ability to discern a good woman.
You and your uncle have foundation problem. You want to dominate the woman from making progress.

A woman who is planning to stop your uncle from been a tenant to making him a landlord.

I wish I can see you face to face, I suppose knock you.

Get out of that house, parasite.

Kobojunkie:
Look whose talking abeg!

U respond like an attack...calling me delusional
But no worries.....i'm used to you ways.

Im sorry i mentioned you..

mscheew Nigeria and their yeye culture ... If the man die now won't you all come for their collective property like she didn't contribute anything but bedmatic ...Anyway incase you have not hear the Nigeria formula , his money is our money , her money is her money alone...

Why are you so quick to suggest divorce? You think that's how easy it is abi if he remarries the problem will just fly away? abeg leave them to settle their differences na you wan marry the man abi na your sugar daddy he has come to complain to you? If not so where's the divorce coming from do you know what this woman have been facing? She's a woman like you please get out in between them to settle.

Emma2Seconds:
What is special in marrying Daughters Of [b]EVE

You are blowing hot na. "I will do this, I will do that, she dare not" yada yada yada. Ogbeni, marry first na so that you can now boldly and authoritatively speak from a vantage point of experience. You think marriage is black and white?

Oga, marry first let's see how you will handle situations.

True talk

MrMcJay:
It is better to marry someone who loves you than to marry someone who you love. E get why.

That being said, I no too dey advice married people because them no dey hear word.

ReneJay:
Good day nairalanders. I want to seek your advice on behalf of my uncle.

Pardon me for any typographical errors. My uncle has been married to this lady for almost 16 years. They have two kids. According to his narration, the first five years of marriage was wonderful.

But things took a sudden twist later on. The wife has changed in both attitude and manners. The man is a civil servant and earns 70k monthly and his wife is a teacher. She earns 35k monthly.

The twist is, the wife has stopped supporting the man financially. In fact, anything she buys for the family or for the children, she asks for the money, even as little as spice cubes. My uncle had to report the matter to my father, his brother, after several years of enduring her strange attitude. My father called her to table the matter. She admitted the accusations. In her defence, she said it is the responsibility of the man (husband) to provide for the family. what broke my uncle's heart was the day the rent of their house was due, he hadnt pieced together the rent and was going about to seek loans from friends and family. He asked her if she knew who to loan from and she said she didn't know who to loan from. To his dismay, he got wind from a friend that his wife was looking for a piece of land to buy with God knows how and where she got the money from. She even told him she doesn't have a dime to add to whatever he's able to raise. He does everything in the house from A to Z.

He needs advice on what to do. Should he file for divorce and hope things would get Rosy enough to start afresh with someone else? Or should he call for a meeting with her family and our family to try to mediate and make her see reasons why she should be supportive?

Matured advice please.

What's the essence of the meeting he will be calling for

She has said that it's a man's duty to provide for the family, what else do you want her to say

Am glad the first five years was fantastic

So now the wickedness in her has started manifesting

Some thing brewing between both of them and both of them knows exactly where and when that water turned brown


Until that is sorted out, she will keep giving valid excuses that will make others to keep quiet and not ask her the next question

In summary you uncle provoked her and that particular issue have never been resolved

Then I think your uncle should look for a mini falt

Doings Get Levels Ok!!! U Think that It's All Men That Takes Una( Women) Shit I pity Some Real Niggas That That Handles Una With Soft Hand . We Don't Tolerate SHITS Ok. Try It With Me And See Your Life Changer With Immediate Effects. [s]

Bobmarie:
Is that what your mother did? Do you consider her stupid because she’s a woman.

No offense, if you don’t want to answer. Ignore

[/s]

advanceDNA:
U respond like an attack...calling me delusional
But no worries.....i'm used to you ways.
Im sorry i mentioned you..

I don't attack..I am instead straight to the point.

It is indeed delusional to consider that all those who live in the west believe in sharing bills. There are way too many cultures from all different parts of the world for anyone to accept such reasoning as valid.

Also, right there in Nigeria, there are many men married to women who Share bills with them. Not because it magically happened to them but because they both agreed to such an arrangement. Marriage is after all an agreement between a man and a woman
.so commonsense is if you want your wife to share bills with you, you do not go out and marry a woman who does not agree with such.

Kobojunkie:
From the story told by OP, family joy left that family more than a decade ago. The family entered into survival mode of sorts where the husband seemed to be the one with focus on present whereas the wife began paying more attention to the future it seems.

Again, we don't know enough of the background details to details the OP'S uncle a Saint or his wife a demon in this..

u amaze me

MrBrownJay1:
what yeye advice is he looking for now? if the animal he calls "wife" has been acting like that for the past 16yrs and he didnt think of correcting it before, then why try to change it now?!?!?

Are you married with kids? If you are not, be mindful of the kind of advise you give so that you don't end up being tested by nature. It's very easy to say but tell me how to correct a wife with kids who refused to contribute to the family financially.
The man just has a valid case to build on now, that is if he has good evidence that while he is looking around for money to pay their rent, the wife is looking for a plot of land to buy. Prior to this time, he has no concrete evidence to do anything. If the man had press charges on account of her non contributory attitude, the woman would have defend herself by saying the her salary is not even enough for her to take good care of herself. Somehow somewhat, those in charge of the matter would have advised the man to consider her statement and temper justice with mercy, some will even come out telling the man to hustle more to be able to feed his family and at the end, the man will look stupid and weak before his children and the society for admitting that he can't take care of his family without his wife's money. Yet the woman will remain in his house. Pray for a good wife.

Doings Get Levels Ok.!!!

Ishilove:

You are blowing hot na. "I will do this, I will do that, she dare not" yada yada yada. Ogbeni, marry first na so that you can now boldly and authoritatively speak from a vantage point of experience. You think marriage is black and white?

Oga, marry first let's see how you will handle situations.