Right from when I was still an early teenager , I hardly pictured myself as anyone's spouse but I knew I wanted to be a mom someday .
But I never spoke openly about my little fantasy of being just me and not being anyone's spouse or property
When anyone asked I'd tell them I just want to settle down after 25 then I changed it to 30 , I see the shock in their faces , then some of them start preaching the gospel or asking how I want my parents to feel
So I hid it again telling people what they want to hear " yes I want to get married when I find the RIGHT person " and I used this lie until I met someone like me , who confidently owned up to it and whilst people may not understand her , I know I did

Whilst I love the idea of romance , dating and lovemaking , I've come to understand that there's nothing appealing about marriage except the thought of a spontaneous wedding and expensive white gowns

it's like a transfer of ownership from your parents to a husband who will pay you to give up your rights to yourself and all that you are

When I'm talking to my friend and she's like , my husband doesn't like me wearing this and he doesn't like me doing that , it drives me crazy to think that could be me one day , if I give in

You'll nurse children , you can't even choose how many you want , you can't name the child , you give up your last name and become Mrs Smith , mama junior , iyawo Smith
That's how I realized I don't even know know my lecturers name we know her only as her husband's name ,i don't want that , I don't like it

People argue that marriage guarantees security , what happens when I am already secure ?
They said it guarantees that the person will be with you forever and never leave , yet most men responsible or irresponsible all have women other than their wives , argue from now till tomorrow
Why would I be happy that the only reason a person can't leave me is because of the LAW
everyone should have the right to leave if they choose to , I think this is the best way to feel secure when you understand that they're here because they want to be

When the idea first came to me I thought of it as revenge to my mother but after lingering over the subject for years I realized it was a desire, not just a revenge tactic

Whilst the debates of whether or not it is possible for a husband to rape his wife is ongoing , and many more relationship advisors are crawling with do's and donts of potential wife material , love spells and kayanmata to help attract and keep a man ,
I realized a woman like me prefers to have adventures , travel , work , I don't want to stop meeting new people and learning new things , the older I get the more I accept this side of me that will soon become the prayer point of all my friends and family

All the couple's that I've seen closeup have made marriage look like an endurance game , some turn bloody others just worsen your mental health ,
The threats of keep yourself well , talk nicely , smell nicely , learn how to cook and clean otherwise you might not FIND a husband to marry , makes me cringe , these are just basic life skills why should it revolve around anyone other than me , that just makes me not want to do it anymore
Some men are even coming up with tests on choosing their "CHOSEN ONE" after hoeing around and showing their manhood to the entire clan of women in their community
Noone has given one good reason to ever get married and I doubt there even is

Is marriage really a compulsory thing for everyone?
Why do people make it look like it is a crime to not get married at all ?
who do you think benefits more from marriage and why?
Some even believe it's a punishment to not be married when you're above the age

You are a different breed..I also have no idea why people are so obsessed with the idea of marriage..So you decide to spend your life with this one person and have kids with them...What is soooooooooooo special about it?

Marriage shouldn't be seen as an achievement..nether should birthing kids too..MARRAIGE is like a Gum..Initially Juicy..soft and good in taste..
As the time passes it becomes hard and difficult to survive with it...

Many people go their entire life without being married and live very happy lives...Some people really like living as a married couple and some are just content being with that someone special...You should do what makes you happy not conform to what society believes you should do..As for better/worse-that would depend on what makes you happy...

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You are a different breed..I also have no idea why people are so obsessed with the idea of marriage..So you decide to spend your life with this one person and have kids with them...What is soooooooooooo special about it?

Marriage shouldn't be seen as an achievement..nether should birthing kids too..MARRAIGE is like a Gum..Initially Juicy..soft and good in taste..
As the time passes it becomes hard and difficult to survive with it...

Many people go their entire life without being married and live very happy lives...Some people really like living as a married couple and some are just content being with that someone special...You should do what makes you happy not conform to what society believes you should do..As for better/worse-that would depend on what makes you happy...

Finally someone gets it

I just had this discussion with a fellow Corper few hrs ago. It's glaring that in some years later, marriage will be a thing of the past.
It will be called Contract Gender Union that would definitely have expiring date.

Relax, when you grow up, you'll understand better.

chatinent:
Relax, when you grow up, you'll understand better.

Are you feeling too old ..
You mean she has to grow old before she can make a decision or what?

You see my sister, let no one forces you to do what does not come from your mind. In the end you'd discover you're OYO.
Having said that, the main purpose that God instituted marriage is for COMPANIONSHIP, others are secondary, but He never forces anyone to do anything. Loneliness is not a good thing. Marriage comes with its challenges as other good things, but let the choice to remain single comes from your inner being for reasons best known to you BUT never to avoid challenges.

Now let's look at the importance of having a companion and companionship...

What is companionship?

Companionship is the good feeling that comes from being with someone else. companionship indulges you a sense of closeness by being with another person - may it be your relative or a caregiver who devotes his or her time in looking after your welfare. A feeling of fellowship or togetherness is what encompasses companionship — it's one of the reasons older people seek the accompaniment of a fellow human being. The need for companionship is very human, very normal, and very necessary. It gives us emotional balance and lets us enjoy life.

What does it mean to be a companion?

A companion is one who serves as a friend or as a partner in your daily life. To be a companion is to regard another person’s well-being with the same importance as your own. To be a companion is to find delight in joining a fellow human being in fulfilling his tasks. To be a companion is to ensure that your patient’s needs are met on a daily basis and that he or she finds refuge in your comfort. To be a companion is to know that keeping company comes with respecting individual preferences. Lastly, to be a companion is to enjoy the reward of life together.

Why is companionship important?

Companionship is essential in establishing a sense of belonging. Without it, people tend to become lonely and even depressed, which is why our society needs to make more of an effort to meet the companionship needs of the elderly.

Companionship is a symbiotic relationship that enables the elderly (both of you at old age) to thrive together, the children would have gone their separate ways . Having friends and companions enables a person to openly deal and talk about challenges, express grief and happiness, and to find resources to solve problems.

Either you have been deceived by modern day feminism and lifestyle or you haven't yet seen the right man that will reset your thinking to its default factory settings.
Anyway just do you, but pray you don't regret it later.

GreatAchiever1:
Either you have been deceived by modern day feminism and lifestyle or you haven't yet seen the right man that will reset your thinking to its default factory settings.
Anyway just do you, but pray you don't regret it later.

Regret what?

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Regret what?

Had I know they say comes last.

GreatAchiever1:

Had I know they say comes last.

She stated her opinion which doesn't in any way hurt you and ya talking about regret..what's there to regret?the idea of marriage being overrated or what?

FERNANDEZISBACK:

She stated her opinion which doesn't in any way hurt you and ya talking about regret..what's there to regret?the idea of marriage being overrated or what?

Alaye no be to whine mouth. Time shall tell.

KaLuCh:


Alaye no be to whine mouth. Time shall tell.

Then shut up and wait for the time..

Nice one
Do what makes you happy
Don't let anyone confuse you

Someone owns you.. Your parent whether you like it or not.

When you die or something happens people will come to your aid. And most of the time it will be family that makes the most effort whether you are in good terms with them or not.

Getting married with someone means you are actively a member of your spouses family thereby extending the number of people that can selflessly help you in times of need even if they might not help but you get the point.

We are social animals and family is an integral ingredient of our civilization.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Then shut up and wait for the time..

Why don't you shut the fVck up and allow him air his opinion too.

LadyD22:
Right from when I was still an early teenager , I hardly pictured myself as anyone's spouse but I knew I wanted to be a mom someday .
But I never spoke openly about my little fantasy of being just me and not being anyone's spouse or property
When anyone asked I'd tell them I just want to settle down after 25 then I changed it to 30 , I see the shock in their faces , then some of them start preaching the gospel or asking how I want my parents to feel
So I hid it again telling people what they want to hear " yes I want to get married when I find the RIGHT person " and I used this lie until I met someone like me , who confidently owned up to it and whilst people may not understand her , I know I did

Whilst I love the idea of romance , dating and lovemaking , I've come to understand that there's nothing appealing about marriage except the thought of a spontaneous wedding and expensive white gowns

it's like a transfer of ownership from your parents to a husband who will pay you to give up your rights to yourself and all that you are

When I'm talking to my friend and she's like , my husband doesn't like me wearing this and he doesn't like me doing that , it drives me crazy to think that could be me one day , if I give in

You'll nurse children , you can't even choose how many you want , you can't name the child , you give up your last name and become Mrs Smith , mama junior , iyawo Smith
That's how I realized I don't even know know my lecturers name we know her only as her husband's name ,i don't want that , I don't like it

People argue that marriage guarantees security , what happens when I am already secure ?
They said it guarantees that the person will be with you forever and never leave , yet most men responsible or irresponsible all have women other than their wives , argue from now till tomorrow
Why would I be happy that the only reason a person can't leave me is because of the LAW
everyone should have the right to leave if they choose to , I think this is the best way to feel secure when you understand that they're here because they want to be

When the idea first came to me I thought of it as revenge to my mother but after lingering over the subject for years I realized it was a desire, not just a revenge tactic

Whilst the debates of whether or not it is possible for a husband to rape his wife is ongoing , and many more relationship advisors are crawling with do's and donts of potential wife material , love spells and kayanmata to help attract and keep a man ,
I realized a woman like me prefers to have adventures , travel , work , I don't want to stop meeting new people and learning new things , the older I get the more I accept this side of me that will soon become the prayer point of all my friends and family

All the couple's that I've seen closeup have made marriage look like an endurance game , some turn bloody others just worsen your mental health ,
The threats of keep yourself well , talk nicely , smell nicely , learn how to cook and clean otherwise you might not FIND a husband to marry , makes me cringe , these are just basic life skills why should it revolve around anyone other than me , that just makes me not want to do it anymore
Some men are even coming up with tests on choosing their "CHOSEN ONE" after hoeing around and showing their manhood to the entire clan of women in their community
Noone has given one good reason to ever get married and I doubt there even is

Is marriage really a compulsory thing for everyone?
Why do people make it look like it is a crime to not get married at all ?
who do you think benefits more from marriage and why?
Some even believe it's a punishment to not be married when you're above the age

no it isn't... just make sure you put all the necessary things in place in case you grow old, not to be lonely

AdeniyiA:
You see my sister, let no one forces you to do what does not come from your mind. In the end you'd discover you're OYO.
Having said that, the main purpose that God instituted marriage is for COMPANIONSHIP, others are secondary, but He never forces anyone to do anything. Loneliness is not a good thing. Marriage comes with its challenges as other good things, but let the choice to remain single comes from your inner being for reasons best known to you BUT never to avoid challenges.

Now let's look at the importance of having a companion and companionship...

What is companionship?

Companionship is the good feeling that comes from being with someone else. companionship indulges you a sense of closeness by being with another person - may it be your relative or a caregiver who devotes his or her time in looking after your welfare. A feeling of fellowship or togetherness is what encompasses companionship — it's one of the reasons older people seek the accompaniment of a fellow human being. The need for companionship is very human, very normal, and very necessary. It gives us emotional balance and lets us enjoy life.

What does it mean to be a companion?

A companion is one who serves as a friend or as a partner in your daily life. To be a companion is to regard another person’s well-being with the same importance as your own. To be a companion is to find delight in joining a fellow human being in fulfilling his tasks. To be a companion is to ensure that your patient’s needs are met on a daily basis and that he or she finds refuge in your comfort. To be a companion is to know that keeping company comes with respecting individual preferences. Lastly, to be a companion is to enjoy the reward of life together.

Why is companionship important?

Companionship is essential in establishing a sense of belonging. Without it, people tend to become lonely and even depressed, which is why our society needs to make more of an effort to meet the companionship needs of the elderly.

Companionship is a symbiotic relationship that enables the elderly (both of you at old age) to thrive together, the children would have gone their separate ways . Having friends and companions enables a person to openly deal and talk about challenges, express grief and happiness, and to find resources to solve problems.

I do agree that people should have companions but you don't need to chain someone for it that's what I'm saying , feeling free to be together for as long or as short as you wish with whoever pleases you , companions can come in different forms , friends , children , colleagues , partners or even a pet

I would never want to spend the rest of life completely alone but I want to free and flexible enough to know that I am with a person or I am at a place because I chose to be , which is not always the case with marriage , it's like once you're in it's even harder to come out

I do not disregard that religion believes in marriage because of companionship but the marriages I have seen or read about or watched in movies does not necessarily depict companionship , it looks more like an exchange of power even in it's most romantic stages , an exchange of power is the nicest way to put it for now , if we are keeping each other company then we should maintain our identities and our individual rights and continue to be ourselves but that isn't always the case ,

it's usually a friendly colonization of one person ( mostly wives ) by another person ( mostly husbands) , if you understand what colonization means try and put marriage into that setting , then you'll see where I am coming from

Demonicus:


Why don't you shut the fVck up and allow him air his opinion too.

I allowed his opinion by telling him to wait for the time...

People feel the need to justify their decisions. If you want to marry or not, I don't think people care that much.

Perhaps, your parents and siblings will, just as they'll care about other things about you.

GreatAchiever1:
Either you have been deceived by modern day feminism and lifestyle or you haven't yet seen the right man that will reset your thinking to its default factory settings.
Anyway just do you, but pray you don't regret it later.

Actually I can show you a letter from a suffragette wife back in 1918 that totally supports my opinion , I don't think that's modern feminism it is currently displayed in museums , are you also aware that men can also choose to not get married and it's not just about gender but a personal choice ?
It's because of regrets like this that people end up having children even when they don't want them simply because they are afraid of having any regrets , the biggest regret is not being able to fully commit to that responsibility because you were simply influenced by fear of regrets
This is not about the right or wrong man , it's just me , it's my fantasy

FERNANDEZISBACK:

I allowed his opinion by telling him to wait for the time...

Waiter.

Your thread reeks of extreme, 'burn your bra' feminism. Right from the condenscending title "A thread for smart people ONLY".


That marriage is not for you does not make marriage a bad insitution. Many women prefer to be married and are happy doing just that.

You just stated that you like being in a loving relationship( Fvcking) and having a companion, what difference does it make if the word marriage is attached to it.

To me it's just a word that guarantees nothing. There are couples who have been together for more that 30 years without being married. Notable ones are Oprah and Sting of The Police. So it really does not matter whether you choose to be married or not. I also see nothing wrong in a lady dropping her name to adopt the husband's name. It is an infantile squabble over nothing. Do what makes you happy, but don't condemn what equally makes other women happy.

JOACHINpedro:
I just had this discussion with a fellow Corper few hrs ago. It's glaring that in some years later, marriage will be a thing of the past.
It will be called Contract Gender Union that would definitely have expiring date.

Many people don't know that choosing to stay unmarried is an option
That's how my mom was fighting with me when I accidentally talked about not settling down until I've achieved my dreams and she was like "so you mean if a good man comes immediately after you graduate , you will not marry ? Over my dead body "

It's just the setting , the perfect life is getting married barely after graduation , it's like you're nothing on your own so that's the only way to become something
Some people will tell you they married their spouse because they didn't want them to choose someone else and another said this person was good oh if she said no what if she met a bad person in the future , she just managed

But it is an option and many people need to be aware of that , it might be a difficult choice to make considering all the battles you'll have to face , your family , your peers , your pastors , your partners , everyone will come after you because it's just that road most people are not used to so since they're not used to it , they just believe it's bad , black man mentality " if you don't know what it is, just leave it "

chatinent:
Relax, when you grow up, you'll understand better.

How old do you think I am ?

LadyD22:
Right from when I was still an early teenager , I hardly pictured myself as anyone's spouse but I knew I wanted to be a mom someday .
But I never spoke openly about my little fantasy of being just me and not being anyone's spouse or property
When anyone asked I'd tell them I just want to settle down after 25 then I changed it to 30 , I see the shock in their faces , then some of them start preaching the gospel or asking how I want my parents to feel
So I hid it again telling people what they want to hear " yes I want to get married when I find the RIGHT person " and I used this lie until I met someone like me , who confidently owned up to it and whilst people may not understand her , I know I did

Whilst I love the idea of romance , dating and lovemaking , I've come to understand that there's nothing appealing about marriage except the thought of a spontaneous wedding and expensive white gowns

it's like a transfer of ownership from your parents to a husband who will pay you to give up your rights to yourself and all that you are

When I'm talking to my friend and she's like , my husband doesn't like me wearing this and he doesn't like me doing that , it drives me crazy to think that could be me one day , if I give in

You'll nurse children , you can't even choose how many you want , you can't name the child , you give up your last name and become Mrs Smith , mama junior , iyawo Smith
That's how I realized I don't even know know my lecturers name we know her only as her husband's name ,i don't want that , I don't like it

People argue that marriage guarantees security , what happens when I am already secure ?
They said it guarantees that the person will be with you forever and never leave , yet most men responsible or irresponsible all have women other than their wives , argue from now till tomorrow
Why would I be happy that the only reason a person can't leave me is because of the LAW
everyone should have the right to leave if they choose to , I think this is the best way to feel secure when you understand that they're here because they want to be

When the idea first came to me I thought of it as revenge to my mother but after lingering over the subject for years I realized it was a desire, not just a revenge tactic

Whilst the debates of whether or not it is possible for a husband to rape his wife is ongoing , and many more relationship advisors are crawling with do's and donts of potential wife material , love spells and kayanmata to help attract and keep a man ,
I realized a woman like me prefers to have adventures , travel , work , I don't want to stop meeting new people and learning new things , the older I get the more I accept this side of me that will soon become the prayer point of all my friends and family

All the couple's that I've seen closeup have made marriage look like an endurance game , some turn bloody others just worsen your mental health ,
The threats of keep yourself well , talk nicely , smell nicely , learn how to cook and clean otherwise you might not FIND a husband to marry , makes me cringe , these are just basic life skills why should it revolve around anyone other than me , that just makes me not want to do it anymore
Some men are even coming up with tests on choosing their "CHOSEN ONE" after hoeing around and showing their manhood to the entire clan of women in their community
Noone has given one good reason to ever get married and I doubt there even is

Is marriage really a compulsory thing for everyone?
Why do people make it look like it is a crime to not get married at all ?
who do you think benefits more from marriage and why?
Some even believe it's a punishment to not be married when you're above the age

You are having a brain wave. Come back here when you are 50 and tell us your experience. Have you read Steve Job’s letter about family and love and making money? Perhaps when you are in your death bed you can then appreciate what you have missed.

I like that girl, am a nigga who doesn't want marriage too, I've got my own reasons too just like you pointed out. Life is just meant to have peace of mind and fun without hurting anybody. That's a free life and that's what I want.

saggis:
Your thread reeks of extreme, 'burn your bra' feminism. Right from the condenscending title "A thread for smart people ONLY".


That marriage is not for you does not make marriage a bad insitution. Many women prefer to be married and are happy doing just that.

You just stated that you like being in a loving relationship( Fvcking) and having a companion, what difference does it make if the word marriage is attached to it.

To me it's just a word that guarantees nothing. There are couples who have been together for more that 30 years without being married. Notable ones are Oprah and Sting of The Police. So it really does not matter whether you choose to be married or not. I also see nothing wrong in a lady dropping her name to adopt the husband's name. It is an infantile squabble over nothing. Do what makes you happy, but don't condemn what equally makes other women happy.

The title initially was the question I asked at the bottom in no way was i trying to shame I just wanted to make people curious enough to read , which is something you don't do when you already know what's up , o thought I should inform you of that , it's also something bloggers do "clickbait" in no way was I trying to shame anyone for anything

Everywhere on social media ,it's is always one discussion or another on how to make him marry you , how to keep a man , how to attract a man , how to enchant a man ( cringed)
In fact that was the reason I posted this , I am not saying it is bad but they've painted it in such a way that anything that is not it, is totally forbidden , which is what I do not understand ,because no matter how I turn my head to look at it , it is not that big of a deal , if marriage really determined commitment married people shouldn't cheat right?
And the fact that society keeps trying to brainwash everyone that women benefit more from marriage is also very annoying

It is a discussion that people find difficult and I understand your reaction it's not normal to not want marriage
If they find it okay to fully merge into their husbands name and identity , I am happy for them , I also wish I could be happy with little things like that but I'm stubborn I like much bigger things , I have goals and plans of my own and I am not very good at doing as I am told so I obviously would be restless with the thought of being under someone's control , who is not my Father , even my dad sef we just vibe with each other

chatinent:
Relax, when you grow up, you'll understand better.

At the age of 20s, tell me what else does she want to grow, horn?

Eniitankorede:




You are having a brain wave. Come back here when you are 50 and tell us your experience. Have you read Steve Job’s letter about family and love and making money? Perhaps when you are in your death bed you can then appreciate what you have missed.

okay when I'm 50 maybe I'll write a book about it