₦airaland Forum

Na only you waka come?

You're foolish as you said.

Do you have any plan at all - for yourself, future and loved ones.

I'm just sorry for you.

Keep it up and see poverty recycle in your family.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me.

I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them.

I'm that foolish.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

JoyousFurnitire:
Set a meeting with your roommates. Pour out your heart and if they're reasonable they'll change.

Do a calculation of what you guys spend of foods monthly and share the pay equally. Let them know you do go broke before the end of the month.

Also don't do pass yourself. Evaluate and cut how much you give as giveaway.

Broke people don't do giveaway but if you're nice, reduce it. Buy things you need immediately you get your pay.

This! This is exactly what we did. We were 3

If you do transfer for every touching story, very soon your story go become very touching....

God has a reason for making you that way and trust me, your blessings is definitely going to come through giving. My mum has this ur trait and even stopped when she observed that people were taking advantage of it. Guess what, someone invited her for a program and the man of God told her that she used to help people before but stopped, that God said she shouldn't, that through doing that he will bless her. She was surprised cause this was a decision she took without saying it to anyone. My advice is that you continue...just pray for God to provide for you so that you will continue to be a source of help to others that genuinely need it.

I pass through the same until I learnt my lesson the very hard way. Be careful nigga. Stop caring unnecessary you will regret it. Do for me I do for you should be your new rule

michlins:
no matter what we tell him,he will remain himself.

He's only going to unleash the beast in him at his own time or probably not.

He's not stupid for being good btw. The people who pay him back with evil are the stupid people

Follow this advice and God will continue to bless you more.

michlins:
You're a good person. Unfortunately this world is rigged against your kind.

I can't advise you to become like the demons of this world but I will advise you to love yourself more. Before you help,help yourself first.

The world needs people like you. Be safe and stay good

Go with this good man's advice and you will find out that God is behind you and will support you

Their is a limit to Human endurance. I bet you, if you don't know your limit, you will totally be a complete slave to your emotions.

Just do a little survey of how much, your room mates had saved from your act of benevolence and check your saving and advice yourself. Oh! Boy pls have common sense because no human beings what so ever will remembers your good deeds in the future oh!!!

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

You are not free yet you want to free others.

Free yourself first before you think about freeing others.

You lack principles and trust people more than you trust yourself.

You clearly didn’t inculcate the right values and it’s not too late to start before these so called parasites send you to your grave.

You’d better start taking initiative. Learn to say NO even when the person is dying. Save and put a cap to your daily or monthly spending. Open an investment account that you cannot touch for a certain months or a year and save for yourself leaving your personal upkeep money. I bet you’d not want to give this to your friends cos cos you’ll go hungry too.

Get yourself books on personal financial management and develop yourself.

But in all, don’t stop doing good cos it’s a virtue.

Goodluck in your studies bro.

DoctorOlasDesk:
You need to learn more about character development, self development and better management principles. Google these terms the exact way i typed them, read on books that helps to build character and dose on them.

You're 21, this is the ripe age to invest heavily in your personal development and everything related to it. The time to begin to build your future is now. Do not sacrifice your future and resources on the altar of " we're in it together "

You sound and seem pretty much responsible and like one on a progressive path. Hence, you need to tag with people who roll on your frequency. This means, you should be riding solo whilst meaning such acquaintances you call friends as distant friends, not ones to pull close. Stop confusing people life brings you in association with as friends.

So why you have the warrior mindset and perspective of trying to get things together, resolve chaos and bring orderliness to things, you need to take advantage of your strengths, in this case, the ability to go solo, to leave the room, leave whatever cordialities binds you with these guys, get yourself your private space, and invest in your life, future and education better.

Find books by " Sigmound " and read up on where he spoke about the more people become conscious of their habits and attitudes, he more in control they become in charge of their lives ! Read, read, read. There's alot of materials to read up to defeat this weakness


The earlier you separate yourself from people who act and behave they have nothing to look forward to, the faster you are to your destination and goals.



Good Luck !

Travicon, here it is. Read this.

I know you are a good person, but you must realize those who deserves that goodness from you.


The good news is that, you have identified the problem and I'm sure you're about to find a solution. One good quality you have which you haven't discovered is, you're a realist. Just activate it and your niceness will be properly directed at the right course.

How can someone be in Russia and not be willing to contribute to what you all eat? Discharge those bastards.

Until you change, make money, since you are outside the country you have tremendous opportunities, access to online paying gigs and PayPal, access to online jobs etc
To sustain this niceness Just make more money

My children do the meditation in order to sleep, Is it true that meditation helps the kid to sleep?

Adejuwonhis:
Am just like u bro though am still in Nigeria I sell cars online I realize I have the same problem dat u do unfortunately I can’t help it

Pls can you give me one car am seriously in need of it

Be nice, but be wise.

Innocent as a dove.
Wise as a serpent.

Start applying that.
Second, let the Holy Spirit in in your extravagance.
For the world is evil.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Always use your discretion to avoid people walking all over you. And ask for God's grace to discern and be wise concerning things like this.

I was like this until my wife was operated and I needed money, then it dawn on me that I am alone?!? I quickly sat myself down and ponder ponder ponder!!!! I changed and those friends that hovers around me left . So it dawn on me that they were after the gains they could get from me.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

I used to be like this but I'm better now.

1. I do ask myself before rendering the favor if the person would help me too if we interchange role and that do help me alot to decide since it's always obvious they wouldn't help, with that I use my senses.

2. Never lend money you aren't ready to use, even if someone ask me to borrow them 200k,the highest I will probably borrow them is 5k if they got me

Love your neighbor as yourself NOT more than yourself.About cooking together with your roommates, I've been in your shoes actually until on day I told them we can no longer cook together.let everyone cook his own meal and then I made sure that if they need to take from my foodstuffs,they MUST tell me first and I also do the same.Its been better ever since.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

....brother i was same as you until everyone left me,,now am alone,,now i have little money to substain and nobody knows,try to learn a little secret,if you jo get,nobody go help you

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Go and start eating from outside! If not, they will save lots of money for themselves to establish biz after school while you struggle to survive! A word is enough for a mumu boy like you!

DoctorOlasDesk:
You need to learn more about character development, self development and better management principles. Google these terms the exact way i typed them, read on books that helps to build character and dose on them.

You're 21, this is the ripe age to invest heavily in your personal development and everything related to it. The time to begin to build your future is now. Do not sacrifice your future and resources on the altar of " we're in it together "

You sound and seem pretty much responsible and like one on a progressive path. Hence, you need to tag with people who roll on your frequency. This means, you should be riding solo whilst meaning such acquaintances you call friends as distant friends, not ones to pull close. Stop confusing people life brings you in association with as friends.

So why you have the warrior mindset and perspective of trying to get things together, resolve chaos and bring orderliness to things, you need to take advantage of your strengths, in this case, the ability to go solo, to leave the room, leave whatever cordialities binds you with these guys, get yourself your private space, and invest in your life, future and education better.

Find books by " Sigmound " and read up on where he spoke about the more people become conscious of their habits and attitudes, he more in control they become in charge of their lives ! Read, read, read. There's alot of materials to read up to defeat this weakness


The earlier you separate yourself from people who act and behave they have nothing to look forward to, the faster you are to your destination and goals.



Good Luck !

I respect you sir for these words. I have learnt something good from here because its just like I face same thing. I don't know why people like to take advantage of good people. I just try to be difficult now because I have seen a lot but still I see that's not who I am.

michlins:
with what

Any amount of money

Maybe I will be able to address certain fears

@op:
All what you need is to search for any book or material on ASSERTIVENESS. That is all you need. I was like that years back, just one book on ASSERTIVENESS, reset my brain,

The ability to say NO when you got to say NO and mean it. That actually is maturity.

E no easy oh.

If you can’t stop, continue. Be ready for your cross,like Jesus .

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Op stop been nice be kind, niceness requires that people you are nice too are in turn nice to you , simple right , but it doesn’t work like that, kindness on the other hand requires that you do what you can when you can to deserving people without expecting a reward explicitly. Also read books on the law of human nature , it will teach you a lot of wisdom on how to finesse your kind of person . Just apply wisdom when dealing with people and you won’t be disappointed .
Also learn from your past and apply the lessons in your present, if you can’t help saying No, @least don’t bitch around about what you have done , it diminishes the strength of your karma. Decide how you intend to handle every situation and stand by whatever consequences you get without complaining of it’s outcome .

In as much as it is good to help others...always try as much not to go beyond what u can afford..any help that affects u is no longer help

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.
I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Being nice is a good thing but try to quickly learn who deserves it. Give everyone benefit of the doubt in the beginning but always quickly study their moral fibre. Very quickly settle how to settle expenses for running the household equally. Never lend any amount of money you can't very easily forget about.

In reality, aside God and your parents, nobody send you until proven otherwise.

Slynation:
We share similar traits until I came in contact with this lyrics by Nicki-minaj "People will only love you when it's beneficial"

Let this be your guide...!!

coined from the song "High School" right

Op a whole lot has been said already... Funny enough my mum is just like you, she can give her last penny to stranger not to talk about relations oh.


I have been the one gingering her that this world is not all the time one will be showing affection, mercy and care, it not everyone that just need help that you help. If not people will start taking your good nature for granted, thank God Mum C has began to yield to my advice.

What I will say to you Op is that, you have to draw the line, set boundaries, scrutinize people you tag as "friends" and all will be fine....peace

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

It's quite a mild and major dilemma you've found yourself. But I'd just like to find out if you truly knew what it is to be nice and the inspiration of your niceness. Are you nice because of your love for God and the inspiration of the scriptures or you just think it's just the humane thing to do?
If the former is the reason then you'd have no challenge with all these things that you've highlighted taking the Master Jesus Christ as an example to emulate cos you're already like Him. Although you could and should become more prudent in your dealings with people like learning not to borrow that which you cannot give out as a gift, setting boundaries with your so called "friends" and creating a plan that will lift off the financial constraints from one person alone when all 3 benefit.
But if the latter is your purpose or reason for being nice, then it would have selfishness with it like inadvertently expectation others to show you same level of love and respect you show them. While this isn't bad or wrong, in reality it's not ethical with being a Christian to live like that and thus your feeling the way you do right now becomes justified otherwise cheer up and be joyful.

Shugargal:
I respect you sir for these words. I have learnt something good from here because its just like I face same thing. I don't know why people like to take advantage of good people. I just try to be difficult now because I have seen a lot but still I see that's not who I am.

Can we watch blue film together pleasce?

Be very very selective with your niceness I suppose.