My son reported me to my pastor that I am too nice and kindhearted and people take me for granted too.

I have tried to be less nice and less trusting, but it is not just working.

I keep praying that this nature of mine will not keep landing me in deeper troubles

Sergio101:

Wassup bro

Dadfumi:
ahh brother you wey be man supposed understand me now. Anyways it's fine. Thanks. God bless bro and goodnight but this talk really pain me but I understand. God bless you still

Look youngman you gat hustle o , stop begging now go and start to learn how to create wealth now

You got a girl child , how will u feel in d future you girl is a street girl being banged by every nigga

That every dad nightmare ...bro you get big issue at be hand thank god na only one kid u get

Again ur wife may enter street join self , we have banged many aingle.kothwrs and gang banged Dem as well and paid Dem off to go settle dier debt ... oga this can make u run mad o if you get to know, na wetin de reign for naija now o

Like 9ice shey

Learn how to say no and stick by it as for lending money to friends.. Stop it, they will never pay, they will assume u are in obodo oyibo and u have money to throw away.. If anyone asks u to lend dem money,lemme say 10k, give de person 2k and tell de person not to pay back.. Give what u can't miss.. But toughen up cos if u don't, pple will suck u dry

Transcriber:

Wassup bro

I'm very fine brother.

You don chyke that lady?? @Threesha

Limit what you give to people, some people are very ungrateful, no matter what you do for them.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Been there, done that.
REWARD: hate, when you can no longer provide, abandonment.

Fact: you feel so lonely you are too scared to be alone, you do nor trust in yourself or your future.
You have a fear you may one day need their help in return when they go above you in life.

Remedy: focus on yourself. Satisfy yourself and your thoughts first.

Why do I feel that the person who typed all these is sitting on an ocean view balcony’ house in Greece santorini typing on 2022 mac book pro sipping expensive quality wine

DoctorOlasDesk:
You need to learn more about character development, self development and better management principles. Google these terms the exact way i typed them, read on books that helps to build character and dose on them.

You're 21, this is the ripe age to invest heavily in your personal development and everything related to it. The time to begin to build your future is now. Do not sacrifice your future and resources on the altar of " we're in it together "

You sound and seem pretty much responsible and like one on a progressive path. Hence, you need to tag with people who roll on your frequency. This means, you should be riding solo whilst meaning such acquaintances you call friends as distant friends, not ones to pull close. Stop confusing people life brings you in association with as friends.

So why you have the warrior mindset and perspective of trying to get things together, resolve chaos and bring orderliness to things, you need to take advantage of your strengths, in this case, the ability to go solo, to leave the room, leave whatever cordialities binds you with these guys, get yourself your private space, and invest in your life, future and education better.

Find books by " Sigmound " and read up on where he spoke about the more people become conscious of their habits and attitudes, he more in control they become in charge of their lives ! Read, read, read. There's alot of materials to read up to defeat this weakness


The earlier you separate yourself from people who act and behave they have nothing to look forward to, the faster you are to your destination and goals.



Good Luck !

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

If it’s your nature just continue
Me I no nice oo and I don’t help abeg
Make all of Una gerrout

Greatzeus:
" The day a man start calling himself humble,he has began to be proud"
Who told you you are TOO nice? Or you just looked at yourself and figured it out?

You don't belongs to the house

Go and watch porn outside

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

It's good to be nice
Givers never lack
God will surely repay you

However, you'll need to wise up to some extent

That your Russian hostel, start to have a contributory fund where everyone will contribute for things u all use and especially food

Thanks
God bless

DoctorOlasDesk:
You need to learn more about character development, self development and better management principles. Google these terms the exact way i typed them, read on books that helps to build character and dose on them.

You're 21, this is the ripe age to invest heavily in your personal development and everything related to it. The time to begin to build your future is now. Do not sacrifice your future and resources on the altar of " we're in it together "

You sound and seem pretty much responsible and like one on a progressive path. Hence, you need to tag with people who roll on your frequency. This means, you should be riding solo whilst meaning such acquaintances you call friends as distant friends, not ones to pull close. Stop confusing people life brings you in association with as friends.

So why you have the warrior mindset and perspective of trying to get things together, resolve chaos and bring orderliness to things, you need to take advantage of your strengths, in this case, the ability to go solo, to leave the room, leave whatever cordialities binds you with these guys, get yourself your private space, and invest in your life, future and education better.

Find books by " Sigmound " and read up on where he spoke about the more people become conscious of their habits and attitudes, he more in control they become in charge of their lives ! Read, read, read. There's alot of materials to read up to defeat this weakness


The earlier you separate yourself from people who act and behave they have nothing to look forward to, the faster you are to your destination and goals.



Good Luck !

please comrade were can I get this book am also in this grip

Persephone1:
Don't worry you will learn, e never reach .

I learn too.

That was the best advise I could provide.. he never reach but frankly, we were all once like that

@OP
If you like yourself, never take the advice of some silly people on here and do the very right thing.
People are going to soon start writting bull crap , stop being nice this and that... complete bullshit! never listen to people like those, keep being good.

I have paid house rent for someone , gotten admission for someone and paid fees, I have housed someone. I remember giving 50,000 some months back, only to run into challenges these days (as i lost my remote job and all) and the same people i did these things for , highest they could do, is to watch my status on whatsapp.... infact they still do, does not change me from doing good. I just pray God will give me a heart to take care of everyone and make me very rich to help other people. If they ever take you for granted, its their own downfall... not yours! I have a girl i am asking out she wont accept, but she wants money... her sisters got so angry at her last time and she has stopped talking to me as well... Heheheheh, guess what, she relegated herself to watching my status on whatsapp and facebook! Thats where she wants to be => A spectator! And thats where she is gonna be while i work my way back to the top. I am glad many of them put themselves as spectators and not partakers to success, so when things get better, we cannot be close, its the path they chose for themselves.

Let me leave with these last words, If you ever do something for someone and expect something in return, you have failed as a person. Good will find its way back one way or the very other, maybe not now...someday! God is not Dead!
Shalom
#GodIsNotDead

Don’t be surprised those your friends and people you are giving your money are already building mansion. I have been in your show before and even now. I tried so hard to stop being nice but guess what, my mind doesn’t rest if I haven’t helped. So I need help too

Simply stop being overly nice, especially to Nigerians

Sometimes in life you need to be stingy to people, especially when you don't have much.
They won't beat you, they can only call you all sort of names.

U nice pass tinubu,wey the share 2cups of rice for lagosians

People that are nice don't even know they are nice.

Do not stop being nice, don't expect people to be nice to you in return for being nice. Instead, I think you should learn to match people's energy.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I contacted my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Fool the day you hit the gym that's the day you will stop being nice. Internalizing pain changes people no google or books will help you embrace suffering or you won't last long.

If you be giver,you are and if you be reciever,you are,GAIN is in both but GIVER never lack.

michlins:
You're a good person. Unfortunately this world is rigged against your kind.

I can't advise you to become like the demons of this world but I will advise you to love yourself more. Before you help,help yourself first.

The world needs people like you. Be safe and stay good

a.man must learn how not to be nice and know when and when not to use it. because majority of people are bad. -machiavelli. i am not saying be cruel but you have to help yourself first. your age is an age where you have to gather your resources together and build the type of lifestyle you want.
it is when you are financially free that you can then help others.

serve yourseld first, sometimes say no to helping people. build a rigid code of conduct on the inside but let your appearance be easy going.

appear the opposite of what you seem. if you look like someone that can be easily manipulated. then make yourself have self discipline and a strong code of conduct.

I used to be that good , I mean too good till a close friend stolen my Jbl charge 5 that shit changed me. I never got it back I stoped asking after some months but damn Doubt I’ll ever trust humans or put anyone first ever again

@ Op.... Keep being nice and a giver...There is always a reward for every actions either good or bad... Dont worry OP about how you're being treated by people ..The universe has a way of treating people like you in ways you never expect.