₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Your family returns that money and this man will turn around and marry another woman. So unless you intend to hand the money directly to maybe his previous wife under the condition that she will go take the child back, you are likely making no difference in the life of the child.

umurphy:
Work on your marriage first before leaving. I have experienced such a situation in pH. The lady ran away. The hubby was doing all he could for the child. Another Very beautiful lady
had sympathy for the guy, started helping, both fell in love got married few months an NGO came to their rescue and viam. Both landed in Europe. The first lady heard 2 yrs later and to with troubles and name calling.
Do not loose him.

elipheleh:
Sis. If you divorce him. You are now a single mother. And you do not have one iota of idea the things single mothers pass through in this Nigeria plus economy.

Do you wish to remarry?

Will you tell the new man about your new child?

Will you expect him to take care of her or even buy her shishi or house her?

Will he now accept your own baby seeing it's not his responsibility?

Will you hide your baby on first date? Won't that be a betrayal to the new guy too? Exactly how another betrayed you?

Do you have an idea how much baggage single mothers are? Do you know how much men run away from them?

Will you remain single for life?

Will you start begging to come back if things get better for this man. And he now can afford a maid?

Will he accept you?

Will he see you as good wife?

When if you remarry and your new husband hears about the reason you left your first husband. Will he judge you right? Are you a dependable wife? What will he think of you?


IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU JUST PRAY AND CONTINUE PRAYING FOR FINANCIAL SUCCESS IN YOUR HOME. NOT DIVORCE.

H0711:
Yes ooo at this moment he is alone with the child they should go and help him. actions speak louder than words.

BloomingDale:
My sister, the selfishness of these Nigerian men was giving me high blood pressure. I had to step back from this thread. The only reason I can deduce is that they have no idea how daunting it is to take care of a disabled child that can do nothing for herself. Even they will run away from such responsibilities after just one day, and yet they have the audacity to come against this poor woman. Biko, she should run and not even look back. Let the biological parents take care of their child. No be she kill Jesus.

xproducer:
+++++++++++

It is not easy... but please pray continually to the Lord God for wisdom and strength. Look to the word of God for answers, not to people.

"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." - 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

"Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." - Matthew 18:21-22

"And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." - Malachi 2:15-16

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Mark 10:9

Nozino:
He should take care of her himself. She is his child. His flesh and blood.

Princewell2012:
When she have already concluded her plans to leave why did she came to nairaland.? To do what exactly?
Somebody have already told her that marriage is for better and for worst. Please don't encourage her to leave.

Secondly do you know if the problem is from the man himself? What is the evidence that she will not give birth to an slowpoke too if the man is the owner of her pregnant?
Happy Sunday.

Le2money:
never guarantee her of getting a man that will marry her with her pregnancy, or marry her with the child.

cococandy:
That’s never the goal or an accomplishment. Why do you people stay obsessed with the marital status of women?

elipheleh:
Sis. If you divorce him. You are now a single mother. And you do not have one iota of idea the things single mothers pass through in this Nigeria plus economy.

Do you wish to remarry?

Will you tell the new man about your new child?

Will you expect him to take care of her or even buy her shishi or house her?

Will he now accept your own baby seeing it's not his responsibility?

Will you hide your baby on first date? Won't that be a betrayal to the new guy too? Exactly how another betrayed you?

Do you have an idea how much baggage single mothers are? Do you know how much men run away from them?

Will you remain single for life?

Will you start begging to come back if things get better for this man. And he now can afford a maid?

Will he accept you?

Will he see you as good wife?

When if you remarry and your new husband hears about the reason you left your first husband. Will he judge you right? Are you a dependable wife? What will he think of you?


IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU JUST PRAY AND CONTINUE PRAYING FOR FINANCIAL SUCCESS IN YOUR HOME. NOT DIVORCE.

EgunMogaji2:
I learnt something knew here because I thought CP occurs during early fetus development.

Thanks.

mauchiz:
Who did the mum leave the child for?
For another woman?
Take care of the child, keep praying,she might get healed.

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Kingkum:
Everybody is neglecting that innocent child because he is disabled but god will judge all involve in worsening her condition.

i would have love to offer myself for any amount to help her but i'm guy and will find it difficult to care for a girl child.

tunnex190:
How is Op married 2 months ago with 7 months pregnancy? She carry belle do wedding?

My one cent: find someone to take care of the child. (one village girl will still collect 10k per month salary if your husband can afford it) Stay in your marriage. Think about your own child too. It can't be all rosy. This is rough time for you but you will definitely be fine if you tell your husband what you want. Not the divorce.

bowei:
I've read several comment on this matter, my candid advice is for OP to move in with her brother in Abuja immediately. TheAlaaye will sort himself, hes done it once he'll do it again.

UjuJoan2:
.

OP obviously doesn’t have a job, and the husband has to work.

I’m my opinion, he can take over when he gets back from work. While he’s away, she can take care of the child.

cococandy:
That’s never the goal or an accomplishment. Why do you people stay obsessed with the marital status of women?

UjuJoan2:
You are beating a dead horse. The child needs her mother, yes. But her mother is not emotionally ready to handle her that, especially since she is all alone with no support from the child’s father.

You wouldn’t know, you’ve never been in those shoes.

H0711:
Thank you . Right now he can't afford that 200k monthly , his younger sister has refused to come and help taking care of the child. Me too I can't kill myself in my condition and I will leave next month.

H0711:
I will not do it , she didn't impregnate herself it is not like she left the child with strangers she left her at her father house. The have made her together so they should also share responsibility as a woman myself I will not blamed her because I have been with the child for a week it was hell and what about her who he rejected her because odf the child condition and has been doing alone for 7 years with no support from him ? Do you think it is easy no it isn't she deserve to rest, it is now the father turn to take over and feel what they mother has felt all those years. If taking care of the child was easy I just left the house this morning and he is been sending me plenty messages begging me to come back home. So please I have no business with the child mother and she is not my enemy.

Nozino:
Why will a guy find it out to care for her ? Do women have supernatural powers? Is it a vagina you use in caring for a special needs child?

okoroemeka:
why are you worried and want to leave your husband because of such?can't you guys just go to motherless babies and hand the child over and zoom off,or just drop it at the gate of red Cross , motherless babies or home for orphans,my in-law has such disabled child that grew up to become a terror,it kills and eat chicken raw with her bare hands and teeth,pls volunteer and give up the disabled child,no matter it has human form and physique without a human soul can we really say such is a complete human being?it will be a question for intellects,wise men and theologists to answer.

okoroemeka:
why are you worried and want to leave your husband because of such?can't you guys just go to motherless babies and hand the child over and zoom off,or just drop it at the gate of red Cross , motherless babies or home for orphans,my in-law has such disabled child that grew up to become a terror,it kills and eat chicken raw with her bare hands and teeth,pls volunteer and give up the disabled child,no matter it has human form and physique without a human soul can we really say such is a complete human being?it will be a question for intellects,wise men and theologists to answer.

Eyegroup:
The gods are wise woman so don't fool the gods of might be the same woman better stay in your marriage ...that's the problem of this generate of tittok woman...jumping from one man to another ..just few month in marriage you wan jump to another man ..na ashawo you be ooo

elipheleh:
Sis. If you divorce him. You are now a single mother. And you do not have one iota of idea the things single mothers pass through in this Nigeria plus economy.

Do you wish to remarry?

Will you tell the new man about your new child?

Will you expect him to take care of her or even buy her shishi or house her?

Will he now accept your own baby seeing it's not his responsibility?

Will you hide your baby on first date? Won't that be a betrayal to the new guy too? Exactly how another betrayed you?

Do you have an idea how much baggage single mothers are? Do you know how much men run away from them?

Will you remain single for life?

Will you start begging to come back if things get better for this man. And he now can afford a maid?

Will he accept you?

Will he see you as good wife?

When if you remarry and your new husband hears about the reason you left your first husband. Will he judge you right? Are you a dependable wife? What will he think of you?


IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU JUST PRAY AND CONTINUE PRAYING FOR FINANCIAL SUCCESS IN YOUR HOME. NOT DIVORCE.

Nozino:
It is this religious blackmail that will kill you.

Mindlog:
That is the socialization that is aimed at sustaining learned hopelessness in women, portraying how terrible it is "outside", that they are better off enduring whatever pain their marriage is causing them.

okoroemeka:
why are you worried and want to leave your husband because of such?can't you guys just go to motherless babies and hand the child over and zoom off,or just drop it at the gate of red Cross , motherless babies or home for orphans,my in-law has such disabled child that grew up to become a terror,it kills and eat chicken raw with her bare hands and teeth,pls volunteer and give up the disabled child,no matter it has human form and physique without a human soul can we really say such is a complete human being?it will be a question for intellects,wise men and theologists to answer.

H0711:
God forbid bad things but for my own child I will never get tired of him I will love him no matter what but for someone else child in that condition I won't. The worse is he didn't tell me from the onset maybe if he had told me I would have accepted her and be prepared but I wasn't prepared and I can't do it.