₦airaland Forum

Antihypocrite:
I have been married for 3 years now, I have known my wife for 5 years altogether. She was and is still the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't know where to start from, I can't come to terms with the fact that my wife is leaving.

Guys, I think the problem started last year after some hoodlums stole my bike. That was my major source of livelihood apart from some home lessons that I used to do, but stopped due to health reasons.

It's been difficult financially and I honestly don't know what else to do.

Shortly after my bike was stolen, I got a loan from lapo and added with my little savings to enter palm oil business. I wish I had not done so as I ended up losing about 80k because the guy I worked with cheated me whole heartedly.

My wife had to get a job as a teacher in a private primary school. I told her it was just temporary as I was working to raise money for her start a poultry.

In order to clear the lapo loan, I had to do odd jobs and take loan from loan apps. My wife's little salary of 20k became the major source of feeding while I battled to clear the loan.

Sometimes I would borrow from friends to pay the loan app to be able to borrow a higher amount from the loan apps again. This was a mistake and a trap cos now I am so much indebted to these loan apps. I am even owing some friends and right now I am unable to pay back.

I have been in debt for over 8 months now to these loan apps. They have tarnished my Image to all my contacts.

I even stopped going to church because most of my church members who received messages from these loan apps did not even care to hear me out. They believed the loan apps that I am a fraudster on the run.

My wife started feeling ashamed of me. She stopped associating with me in public spaces. I know she has tried. Nobody deserves to pass through what she is passing through.

This afternoon when she came back from work, she told me that she would be going back to her parents house

She said that it is best she goes back to her people until I am able to sort my self out.

Guys I have tried to be strong for so long. Right now I don't think I can hold on anymore. I have always believed that things would turn out well, but right now I am in a low place. I don't know how long I can hold on again.

Last month I tried to even get a security job that pays 25k monthly. But I feel so discouraged to do the job. How long will I work to clear a loan of 320k that keeps adding interest daily.

Thoughts of suicide have been crossing my mind today. I really need help

What can I do? I don't even have the energy to pray. Has anyone ever been in my shoes? If yes how did you come out?

just take rope,hang yourself and you are good to go.since you can't be man enough and face your challenges,get a rope and hang yourself.

TheGift:
Through thick and thin and foolishness?

And who says She is not standing by Him, by giving Him space to sort Himself.

It is His fault that his home is not a peaceful utopia. Stop distracting Him from taking responsibility by blaming the wife's very human reaction to the suffering and embarrassment.

The wife ought to bear and generate money during the troubling time otherwise it becomes à marriage of convenience where both parties remain together only when theres money and part when there is no money....

lolu2019:
weyrey

Ni e!

[/quote]The first thing I'll tell you is this, you see those apps that defamed you? Forget about paying them back, the have paid their selves,they are not even legal anyway.
Secondly, start by paying people you borrowed from, no matter how little, be paying till you finish, you are indebted, you did not kill anybody and it is not the end of the world

Abeg calm down. U know how much I dey owe different loan apps? Almost 500k o. Live ur life jor, anything dem wan do make dem do

Spiker777:
Your wife is not divorcing you she is very good woman .She even suggest going to her parents place to reduce the burden on you till you get yourself back

and be knackiing other guys? Some of you are retards

abuwidad:
Get her pregnant again

Hahahhahahaha

samuelson06:
I sense conflict: Your story doesn't reflect you. You sound like an intelligent person but tell a story of a foolish person.

You can't sound the way you do, and be messing things up with your life. I don't see any correlation and as such I don't believe your story.

But if at all you think you are right, let the woman go so you can face your life as a single person. She's doing you a favor. Don't use someone's child to console your present circumstances. I can understand how hustlers can pound on a woman like they are the source of their troubles. Let her go so you can save, pay your debts, and improve your life.

Everyone has a right to association and they can choose to leave when they want the moment they find out the relationship isn't serving their interest. Let her go. She has every right to stay or leave.

No tangible means of livelihood, but you got married. Now, the chips are down and you are wailing. Is that how to plan to succeed or you were planning to fail? So, what exactly do you want? Manner from heaven? No!

Look, no man has any right to get married when they're earning below 100k naira. Stop inviting poverty into your life. It's easy to fall in life but hard to rise. Right now, you must accept your situation and stop this self-pity.

Sit down and plan your life. Disregard your age and gain some stamina before looking for another woman because this one is probably leaving and may not return.

I see you like an intelligent chap. Get in touch let's work out something. But I have a feeling you are not sincere. If ever you are, let's talk. I can promise it's going to make sense to you. Every big thing starts small. Don't be afraid to start all over again.

Please sir where do you live, I want to start something small

Antihypocrite:
Sir I heard they automatically debit accounts. I can't just forget it.

It's not true,they won't debit your account, infact the ATM you register there, don't put money in it,they can't do worse than they have done already, don't pay them again. Going forward stop borrowing to pay anything or to do any transaction again.open another account and start using that one,those loan apps are stupid,they can't do anything.

Trilz:
Hey bro!
Take this post seriously.
Don't kill yourself over any silly mistakes, I know life happens to people sometimes but that is not enough reason to do anything stupid at the moment.
What you should do now is get a new sim card and do away with your old sim card which the loan apps always contact you with, hustle, and pay back the people you owe that are around you (not the loan apps)
Do not pay the loan apps again, because you can never pay them in full, their interest will keep growing if you think you can pay them and you will end up working your ass off paying them.

So stop any payment/don't pay the loan apps again only pay your friends that borrowed you money.

If your wife said she's going to her parent's house, for now, let her go and use every opportunity and hustle also save within 4-5 months you will get back in shape trust me.

Trilz

So how can he dulge the loan apps since they have his bbn and details?? Can someone collect loan from loan apps and refuse to pay??

DaInferno:
haba! Explain why he should do that?

I think it's to safeguard her from flirting with other men. It's like marking his territory.

Atleast it will take 9 months by then op should be okay.

Antihypocrite:
I have been married for 3 years now, I have known my wife for 5 years altogether. She was and is still the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't know where to start from, I can't come to terms with the fact that my wife is leaving.

Guys, I think the problem started last year after some hoodlums stole my bike. That was my major source of livelihood apart from some home lessons that I used to do, but stopped due to health reasons.

It's been difficult financially and I honestly don't know what else to do.

Shortly after my bike was stolen, I got a loan from lapo and added with my little savings to enter palm oil business. I wish I had not done so as I ended up losing about 80k because the guy I worked with cheated me whole heartedly.

My wife had to get a job as a teacher in a private primary school. I told her it was just temporary as I was working to raise money for her start a poultry.

In order to clear the lapo loan, I had to do odd jobs and take loan from loan apps. My wife's little salary of 20k became the major source of feeding while I battled to clear the loan.

Sometimes I would borrow from friends to pay the loan app to be able to borrow a higher amount from the loan apps again. This was a mistake and a trap cos now I am so much indebted to these loan apps. I am even owing some friends and right now I am unable to pay back.

I have been in debt for over 8 months now to these loan apps. They have tarnished my Image to all my contacts.

I even stopped going to church because most of my church members who received messages from these loan apps did not even care to hear me out. They believed the loan apps that I am a fraudster on the run.

My wife started feeling ashamed of me. She stopped associating with me in public spaces. I know she has tried. Nobody deserves to pass through what she is passing through.

This afternoon when she came back from work, she told me that she would be going back to her parents house

She said that it is best she goes back to her people until I am able to sort my self out.

Guys I have tried to be strong for so long. Right now I don't think I can hold on anymore. I have always believed that things would turn out well, but right now I am in a low place. I don't know how long I can hold on again.

Last month I tried to even get a security job that pays 25k monthly. But I feel so discouraged to do the job. How long will I work to clear a loan of 320k that keeps adding interest daily.

Thoughts of suicide have been crossing my mind today. I really need help

What can I do? I don't even have the energy to pray. Has anyone ever been in my shoes? If yes how did you come out?

Bro dont ever think of paying the loan people again cox paying them seems foolish to you after they've spoilt ur image before your loved ones so i see no reason why ull be thinking of them again cox after paying them they'll will not rephrase ir retrieve the wrong image they pushed out to ur loved ones about u...so i urge u to focus on just paying ur friends by taking the 25k job and with time ull get over all worries. Things are hard every where so loan people should have been considerate on there part cox susposing u were dead will loan people come and make noise up and down. Please just concentrate on how to build urself and regain the trust of ur wife back

Badguy77:
Amen and Amen... God bless you for the prayer..

God bless u too bro

Call me 08124495030

Antihypocrite:
I have been married for 3 years now, I have known my wife for 5 years altogether. She was and is still the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't know where to start from, I can't come to terms with the fact that my wife is leaving.

Guys, I think the problem started last year after some hoodlums stole my bike. That was my major source of livelihood apart from some home lessons that I used to do, but stopped due to health reasons.

It's been difficult financially and I honestly don't know what else to do.

Shortly after my bike was stolen, I got a loan from lapo and added with my little savings to enter palm oil business. I wish I had not done so as I ended up losing about 80k because the guy I worked with cheated me whole heartedly.

My wife had to get a job as a teacher in a private primary school. I told her it was just temporary as I was working to raise money for her start a poultry.

In order to clear the lapo loan, I had to do odd jobs and take loan from loan apps. My wife's little salary of 20k became the major source of feeding while I battled to clear the loan.

Sometimes I would borrow from friends to pay the loan app to be able to borrow a higher amount from the loan apps again. This was a mistake and a trap cos now I am so much indebted to these loan apps. I am even owing some friends and right now I am unable to pay back.

I have been in debt for over 8 months now to these loan apps. They have tarnished my Image to all my contacts.

I even stopped going to church because most of my church members who received messages from these loan apps did not even care to hear me out. They believed the loan apps that I am a fraudster on the run.

My wife started feeling ashamed of me. She stopped associating with me in public spaces. I know she has tried. Nobody deserves to pass through what she is passing through.

This afternoon when she came back from work, she told me that she would be going back to her parents house

She said that it is best she goes back to her people until I am able to sort my self out.

Guys I have tried to be strong for so long. Right now I don't think I can hold on anymore. I have always believed that things would turn out well, but right now I am in a low place. I don't know how long I can hold on again.

Last month I tried to even get a security job that pays 25k monthly. But I feel so discouraged to do the job. How long will I work to clear a loan of 320k that keeps adding interest daily.

Thoughts of suicide have been crossing my mind today. I really need help

What can I do? I don't even have the energy to pray. Has anyone ever been in my shoes? If yes how did you come out?

Send a mail to me

omolasho:
i percieve symtoms of a gambler. incase you do, stop ASAP ！

The greatest achievement i made since 2momths back was to leave nairaland for children like you.

Upon he explained the reason he's in debt, your still attributed it to gambling.

Idiot like you. Am off to reddit to read from sound minds

Hello, I have a Job for you as dispatch rider for 5Ok.Let me know if you are interested.

ben2rhymes:
How can I give u 100 likes for this comment
�� ��

Sometimes I don’t allow such write up to get into my emotions… such a learned guy should have course mates, hostel mates, church members, can’t these people offer helping hands or idea if truly he’s genuine
Mehn, if we strangers get close to this writer, I’d definitely regret it

We eating with a trouble-maker, you hold a long spoon. I can't get trapped. Once I sense he's not ready, I'd walk away.

Antihypocrite:
I have been married for 3 years now, I have known my wife for 5 years altogether. She was and is still the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't know where to start from, I can't come to terms with the fact that my wife is leaving.

Guys, I think the problem started last year after some hoodlums stole my bike. That was my major source of livelihood apart from some home lessons that I used to do, but stopped due to health reasons.

It's been difficult financially and I honestly don't know what else to do.

Shortly after my bike was stolen, I got a loan from lapo and added with my little savings to enter palm oil business. I wish I had not done so as I ended up losing about 80k because the guy I worked with cheated me whole heartedly.

My wife had to get a job as a teacher in a private primary school. I told her it was just temporary as I was working to raise money for her start a poultry.

In order to clear the lapo loan, I had to do odd jobs and take loan from loan apps. My wife's little salary of 20k became the major source of feeding while I battled to clear the loan.

Sometimes I would borrow from friends to pay the loan app to be able to borrow a higher amount from the loan apps again. This was a mistake and a trap cos now I am so much indebted to these loan apps. I am even owing some friends and right now I am unable to pay back.

I have been in debt for over 8 months now to these loan apps. They have tarnished my Image to all my contacts.

I even stopped going to church because most of my church members who received messages from these loan apps did not even care to hear me out. They believed the loan apps that I am a fraudster on the run.

My wife started feeling ashamed of me. She stopped associating with me in public spaces. I know she has tried. Nobody deserves to pass through what she is passing through.

This afternoon when she came back from work, she told me that she would be going back to her parents house

She said that it is best she goes back to her people until I am able to sort my self out.

Guys I have tried to be strong for so long. Right now I don't think I can hold on anymore. I have always believed that things would turn out well, but right now I am in a low place. I don't know how long I can hold on again.

Last month I tried to even get a security job that pays 25k monthly. But I feel so discouraged to do the job. How long will I work to clear a loan of 320k that keeps adding interest daily.

Thoughts of suicide have been crossing my mind today. I really need help

What can I do? I don't even have the energy to pray. Has anyone ever been in my shoes? If yes how did you come out?

Guy!
Don't ever think of paying those loan apps again. Am we them over 400k to like 30 loan apps. Those pple are wicked. They have defamed me but I don't care. Move on with your life. I'm surprised you care abt what your church pple think of you. Who church members epp?

How many church members will give you the money of you go to them for loan? Oga move on abeg. Your wife sef is foolish or is jst looking for an excuse to leave the marriage. My fiancee stood by me when they were defaming me. I've told all those loan app that i will never pay back. They can do their worse.

xandy84:
I do not blaming you and I saw firsthand how poverty progressively destroy lives. Growing up, I have a neighbor who was living fine while single. He got married and had first Son, bought him the best and by the time he got to 5th kid, he could not afford 50 naira to get card for general hospital. He almost killed his wife cos he want her to have the baby at home. I believe marriage makes most people better but what they do in marriage that fu$k them up real good like too much kids or lack of spacing in having kids.

Poor people like having too many children because they see sex as a consolation to their troubles. And most times, they intentionally ignore contraceptives.

Similar shit has happened to me.
Brother,I work and earn well.
But little mistake with Loan App criminals almost made me contemplated suicide.
Just PM Me,we could exchange contacts and you would realize the burden you feel you are carrying is even little.
Loan App shouldn't be something you should worry App.
The best way to overcome those criminals since they have already defamed you is to stop paying them and stop taking further loans.

Hassanmaye:
So how can he dulge the loan apps since they have his bbn and details?? Can someone collect loan from loan apps and refuse to pay??

he should block the bank ATM card and get another one so they won't be able to debit him.

....give her belle, her soul go reset.

Antihypocrite:
I have been married for 3 years now, I have known my wife for 5 years altogether. She was and is still the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't know where to start from, I can't come to terms with the fact that my wife is leaving.

Guys, I think the problem started last year after some hoodlums stole my bike. That was my major source of livelihood apart from some home lessons that I used to do, but stopped due to health reasons.

It's been difficult financially and I honestly don't know what else to do.

Shortly after my bike was stolen, I got a loan from lapo and added with my little savings to enter palm oil business. I wish I had not done so as I ended up losing about 80k because the guy I worked with cheated me whole heartedly.

My wife had to get a job as a teacher in a private primary school. I told her it was just temporary as I was working to raise money for her start a poultry.

In order to clear the lapo loan, I had to do odd jobs and take loan from loan apps. My wife's little salary of 20k became the major source of feeding while I battled to clear the loan.

Sometimes I would borrow from friends to pay the loan app to be able to borrow a higher amount from the loan apps again. This was a mistake and a trap cos now I am so much indebted to these loan apps. I am even owing some friends and right now I am unable to pay back.

I have been in debt for over 8 months now to these loan apps. They have tarnished my Image to all my contacts.

I even stopped going to church because most of my church members who received messages from these loan apps did not even care to hear me out. They believed the loan apps that I am a fraudster on the run.

My wife started feeling ashamed of me. She stopped associating with me in public spaces. I know she has tried. Nobody deserves to pass through what she is passing through.

This afternoon when she came back from work, she told me that she would be going back to her parents house

She said that it is best she goes back to her people until I am able to sort my self out.

Guys I have tried to be strong for so long. Right now I don't think I can hold on anymore. I have always believed that things would turn out well, but right now I am in a low place. I don't know how long I can hold on again.

Last month I tried to even get a security job that pays 25k monthly. But I feel so discouraged to do the job. How long will I work to clear a loan of 320k that keeps adding interest daily.

Thoughts of suicide have been crossing my mind today. I really need help

What can I do? I don't even have the energy to pray. Has anyone ever been in my shoes? If yes how did you come out?

Go and sleep joor!!
I just feel like to tear you hot awakening slaps.
Let no one pressure you unnecessarily, even if na the loan people. How long do you think most of them will exist? Highest 7yrs and even if they exist beyond that, are you going to live beyond 130yrs.

It's simple you can't pay up and since they have started to malign your image, rejoice! Your salvation is here! Cos that's the worst they could do.

Comot your head from your blokos raise your shoulder as one of the renowned fraudsters and look for a job. If you wish to keep the apps in your fone then don't update it or better still delete it off.

Leave your woman let her get refreshed in her parents house while your hustle by any means necessary.
Don't be a pussy.

abuwidad:
Get her pregnant again

you be mumu

deltateam:
I think it's to safeguard her from flirting with other men. It's like marking his territory.

Atleast it will take 9 months by then op should be okay.

his wife is tired and already feeling ashamed
You think pregnancy will stop it ot worsen it?
What kind of a man goes to bear more children when he can barely carter for the ones available?

Besty27:
you be mumu

Sure!! Just like your dad

africantycoon:
The wife ought to bear and generate money during the troubling time otherwise it becomes à marriage of convenience where both parties remain together only when theres money and part when there is no money....

Did you miss the part where He said She had to get a job and they have been surviving on Her small 20k while He was using His money to pay and enter more debts?

You are in the wrong church and with the wrong wife.. You will come out of this.. Been there before and even owed 1.8M but eventually came out.. You are trying your best yet not appreciated.. Do your best and be happy God will come through.. If you make 100 of millions tomorrow bone that wife, she ain't worth it.. A woman that can watch you sinking and leave should never be a co-pilot when you buy a ship to sail..

TheGift:
You are here condemning the Wife, without first addressing the fact that He is the one who put them in that situation. It's not

Now, he can be blamed for putting them in the situation. I am more than 50% sure he spent most of that money on his wife. From what he wrote, the woman wasn't working before and was just freeloading off him as per wife- husband thing. He even had to assure her that getting a teaching job was a temporary thing, he would hustle for money to give her a poultry. May God let him live long. He is worshipping her.

TheGift:
It's not Like He lost His job, or He fell sick and became unable to work. It was His unwise behavior and mismanagement of debt that got Him where He is today.

Like seriously@ bolded! Are you sure you read his post? His major source of livelihood was stolen. That alone can demoralize an individual and lead to a few unwise decisions. People are going through a lot. The wife should understand that.

TheGift:
Yet you are condemning the woman , Without empathizing with how she must be feeling for Her to say He should sort Himself. Have you ever been in a church where all the members who previously have you respect now know or think that your spouse is a chronic debtor and alleged scammer?

It is not really the woman planning to leave that I'm against. It's the attitude behind it. How can you begin to shun your husband in public because he is a debtor? This is the time he needs loved ones around him most. Now, if things turn around then she will come back and they will start enjoying it together. E kare. I can also distance myself from a disgraced person if he has always been a bad person but not a man who has always tried to hold things together for his family.

TheGift:
Is it a bad thing for people to find space to sort themselves out , both the Man and the Woman? After all, He will be under less financial pressure

.If the man needed to be by himself at a time like this, he would be the one to suggest it, and even jump at the woman's idea. But he knows better. That's why he is feeling low about it. That doesn't look like a woman trying to give a troubled man space, she is giving herself space from a man she has been ashamed to associate with lately.

TheGift:
Do you think it is easy for Her to see Her husband in that state? Do you think it is easy for the Man to see the Woman seeing Him in that state?

Are you sure she is not trying to help His/their mental state by giving Him space.

Loneliness will make his mental health worse. Unless he is the one who wants that space. If a woman has a problem and the husband says, 'Let me leave you in the house so that you can sort yourself out.' How does that sound.

TheGift:
Don't be too quick to judge. The Man will not solve the problem by blaming it judging His wife.

We know. They should slug it out together. The wife has a #20,000 job. The man should go and get a job too instead of lamenting here. He should forget about loan apps or trying to start a business.

TheGift:
If He really loves Her l, He must start by understanding Her, then taking responsibility for how he contributed to making Her feel that way and making a commitment to sort himself out, first for Himself, and Then for Her or for the next relationship.

This is not time to be debating the level of His Wives loyalty. First remove the log in His eye.

If she truly loves him and she is not a Fairweather wife, she should stick by him if he is a man who is honest and respects her. That man may commit suicide if he is too lonely.