Clearly you brought this mess upon yourself, why didn't you set boundaries for her when you started this relationship.. You let her do whatever she wants... A married woman in her right senses is supposed to cut male friends out entirely regardless... Allowing males friends around her will make her vulnerable... A woman isn't called the weaker vessel for nothing... When you are away,she will be tempted, now it's difficult to reverse this because she's already gone deep into this... No wonder, her friend is avoiding her.. Be the man and take back your marriage by force...harder times indeed contributes to this mess... Your wife is just too loosed, man... May God help you...

okay

Stop worrying about the kids, ending the marriage doesn't mean shes no longer the mother of your kids, it only means she's no longer your wife and cannot enjoy the benefits of being your wife. Find a way to work around the issue of the kids, she will always be their mother and you their father.i always tell my wife that the day I catch her cheating is the day the marriage ends, I may forgive you, but the marriage is over. My life is more important than any other thing.

UptownVibes:
Op its all your fault. You missed it right from your courtship days. Guys if you are dating and she is the lady you want to marry. Ensure during the courtship you form being broke for nothing less than six months. The useless ones can't stand it. A nice girl will stay and help you find a way out. I told my guy a month ago. He followed my advice.. His loving and caring girl don turn vampire now,e never reach 3weeks.. She started insulting him,not picking calls like before. He was telling me he wants to beat her. I told him no na.. He should be happy her real character came early. Relationship and marriage na wisdom..

You think women would marry a broke man in this generation? You would only get the ugly ones who dont have self worth

jeromestarks:
You should have married a virgin.
Divorce her and "find" a virgin.

it's either you didn't read through, you read but didn't really comprehend or you are morally bankrupt.

Would you tolerate that from your spouse?

Oga if you know you have not done it b4 divorce her! If thunder will not fire u! Oga forgive and let her know you have evidence and still treat her like say nothing they happen, she will be shocked! Be prayerfull, your wife is your first convert!! God will settle your home! Remember u said it your self, how will u train your four girls? They will dribble you when u go to work and turn to olosho when u go work! Oga u need your wife oo! Before useless neighbors will finish your find innocent daughters! For their sake forgive their mama!

jesmond3945:
You think women would marry a broke man in this generation? You would only get the ugly ones who dont have self worth

I didnt say the guy should be broke.. In the first few months,let her know you have the money. After sometime ,pretend business went bad,and you are broke. Then watch and see the woman you want to marry. Oya go ahead and marry a slay queen o,a woman that can't build or even manage the resources you have.. Instead she will help you waste it and blame you later,when everything dries up.. Na then devil go show you pepper,and na why some dey end their lives when it becomes frustrating ..
Na your type these small small girls dey use their head,and tomorrow you will be blaming devil.. The girl in question, why is she broke herself? I thought they preach gender equality? Abi both partners being rich no dey part of am? Guy try get sense, no dey let the power of temporary beauty(Bleach) and pucci dey deceive you. The one you dey call beautiful ,might be ugly at heart.. So choose your poison my gee.

nifemi25:
According to your story, you haven't caught her red handed.... you are only acting base on what you heard from your wife's friend.... I will only advice you calm yourself so as to catch her . Once you caught her , am sure you knows what to do if you don't want to die before your time..

My friend is something wrong with you? What kind of sisi are you. So you will wait until you catch her red-handed before you'll know that you should allow her go? Mtchewww

UptownVibes:
I didnt say the guy should be broke.. In the first few months,let her know you have the money. After sometime ,pretend business went bad,and you are broke. Then watch and see the woman you want to marry. Oya go ahead and marry a slay queen o,a woman that can't build or even manage the resources you have.. Instead she will help you waste it and blame you later,when everything dries up.. Na then devil go show you pepper,and na why some dey end their lives when it becomes frustrating ..
Na your type these small small girls dey use their head,and tomorrow you will be blaming devil.. The girl in question, why is she broke herself? I thought they preach gender equality? Abi both partners being rich no dey part of am?

I don't think you are married, may be you are still doing bf/gf
Once you act broke she would leave you without looking back. In this age of wokeness and social media, you want to play mind games with a woman? You must always be on your toes to provide and bring in money, that's when a woman's loyalty is guaranteed. I don't know whether you are married? Try and play the game with your wife, you go know how far. Unless you are talking about the unexposed woman without self worth or may be she is old, of course she can be loyal

Lastborn0074:
Please I need honest suggestions. My wife has had several male platonic friends ever since we met. She became friends with others through me. I trusted her because she's a very sociable person, so I wasn't bothered because I know a lot of ladies that have male friends too. She's been open to me about them.

Recently, something happened. A close female friend of hers (also married) started keeping her at arm's length. My wife didn't know what the problem was until information got to her that this friend of hers was going about telling people that she could no longer be friends with her because she's sleeping around with men indiscriminately.

My wife confronted her with this information, for which she denied. But the informant, who was also invited, insisted that she actually said it. Before this time, my wife would always complain that each time she visits her friend, she would knock on the door but nobody would respond. This happened repeatedly until her tenant told my wife in confidence that his landlady was always around each time she visits.

Recently, I discovered that my wife was actually having amorous relationship with her male friends. I have access to her messeinger and I have seen those amorous chats. She would delete the ones that could implicate her. A male friend of hers even sent her adult videos and she told him to send more, that she was enjoying it. This man went further to send her his masturbation video.

I confronted my wife with these and what people told me, but she denied. After putting much pressure on her, she said she was about to do it, not that she actually did it. I asked her the reason and she said that it was because of the hardship we were facing. Since her business collapsed, it's been very difficult to survive with our four children. I'm the only one fending for the family. Even after confronting her, I discovered that she's still into the act.

Given the above scenario, what should I do? Please I want only healthy comments that will help me make my decision. Thanks.

Humm because of hardship... just carry your cross

jesmond3945:

I don't think you are married, may be you are still doing bf/gf
Once you act broke she would leave you without looking back. In this age of wokeness and social media, you want to play mind games with a woman? You must always be on your toes to provide and bring in money, that's when a woman's loyalty is guaranteed. I don't know whether you are married? Try and play the game with your wife, you go know how far. Unless you are talking about the unexposed woman without self worth or may be she is old, of course she can be loyal

Oya do what you like. Its a free world man.. That's why I no dey pity some of una,when dey come crying for advice online. Where I got to know you are not wise is where you said you have to bring money and provide to make a woman loyal. You be comedian my guy .
You still be small pikin or you get pikin brain for woman matter.. You can be giving your wife money and giving her all she needs,and she will be investing it on her play boy outside. You think money can buy loyalty? Go marry slay queen na,your eyes go clear one time..

Are you denying her sex at home?

Lastborn0074:

Must you make jest of me?

Why won't he?! You are one inch to yiur grave and are asking if you should still accommodate the killer?! Where do you guys learn all these weak man attitude for christ sake?!! Chai!!!

Templee333:

hey! See me-o! My mind been no go dat side b4-o! But dis bros fit talk true-e

Now you are getting the point.

Do nothing

Send her out offcourse

jeromestarks:
On a second thought, stay with her until she plans your death with one of her rich male friends.
Don't worry, your children will be well fed.
The choice is your bro.

Hahahahaha.....

chymeze:

There is nothing that justifies her cheating on her lawfully wedded husband, whether he's financially capable or not! If she's not comfortable with his financial status then she should seek a divorce and after that she can awhore herself with as many men as she pleases. That's more honourable than shamefully doing such within the marital cover!

Realist think differently.....I guess you have never been cornered.....we in a spot u won't believe what u can be capable of......,..I am sure the husband knows what I mean.

UptownVibes:
Oya do what you like. Its a free world man.. That's why I no dey pity some of una,when dey come crying for advice online. Where I got to know you are not wise is where you said you have to bring money and provide to make a woman loyal. You be comedian my guy .
You still be small pikin or you get pikin brain for woman matter.. You can be giving your wife money and giving her all she needs,and she will be investing it on her play boy outside. You think money can buy loyalty? Go marry slay queen na,your eyes go clear one time..

Are you married?

PrinceMajestic:
Women will always ride on pussy men like you. You showed her that you're nothing but a pussy from the very time you agreed with her that's it's cool for her a married woman to flock herself with male friends, I believe you knew that they're fhuckin your hoe but you approved of it because you're weak. I know you can never be a Deltan or Niger Deltan or even igbo or hausa because men of these regions can't exhibit your level of idiocy and simping. Even after catching her with chats you still went ahead with her. God! I hate simps so much.

You should direct him to the redpill thread

nifemi25:
According to your story, you haven't caught her red handed.... you are only acting base on what you heard from your wife's friend.... I will only advice you calm yourself so as to catch her . Once you caught her , am sure you knows what to do if you don't want to die before your time..

You dey give am bad advice abi.
I swear if this man die ba, I go look for you and beat you till you enter comma.

od501:

Now you are getting the point.

i dey tell u

nifemi25:
According to your story, you haven't caught her red handed.... you are only acting base on what you heard from your wife's friend.... I will only advice you calm yourself so as to catch her . Once you caught her , am sure you knows what to do if you don't want to die before your time..

Did I hear you say catch? So make he no go work come dey spy on his wife bah! Person wey enter his wife messenger come see wetin another man send to her and she requested for more yet you said he haven't caught her red handed? Na until she transfer one ogbonge infection to him as a result of sleeping around na that time him eye go come clear eehh!!! Ds life self

Templee333:
Fast & pray. 6 to 12 can do. Make sure u have her pics when u r praying & repeatedly ask God 2 kill the spirit of adultery in her.

Please tell me where the Bible said we should pray and fast for our cheating spouse? I wan read am thoroughly because I'm not understanding ds one you said ooo... Pray and fast while she continue dey go collect dick outside

nifemi25:
According to your story, you haven't caught her red handed.... you are only acting base on what you heard from your wife's friend.... I will only advice you calm yourself so as to catch her . Once you caught her , am sure you knows what to do if you don't want to die before your time..

Are you reading the back of the story or the actual story....

Lastborn0074:
Please I need honest suggestions. My wife has had several male platonic friends ever since we met. She became friends with others through me. I trusted her because she's a very sociable person, so I wasn't bothered because I know a lot of ladies that have male friends too. She's been open to me about them.

Recently, something happened. A close female friend of hers (also married) started keeping her at arm's length. My wife didn't know what the problem was until information got to her that this friend of hers was going about telling people that she could no longer be friends with her because she's sleeping around with men indiscriminately.

My wife confronted her with this information, for which she denied. But the informant, who was also invited, insisted that she actually said it. Before this time, my wife would always complain that each time she visits her friend, she would knock on the door but nobody would respond. This happened repeatedly until her tenant told my wife in confidence that his landlady was always around each time she visits.

Recently, I discovered that my wife was actually having amorous relationship with her male friends. I have access to her messeinger and I have seen those amorous chats. She would delete the ones that could implicate her. A male friend of hers even sent her adult videos and she told him to send more, that she was enjoying it. This man went further to send her his masturbation video.

I confronted my wife with these and what people told me, but she denied. After putting much pressure on her, she said she was about to do it, not that she actually did it. I asked her the reason and she said that it was because of the hardship we were facing. Since her business collapsed, it's been very difficult to survive with our four children. I'm the only one fending for the family. Even after confronting her, I discovered that she's still into the act.

Given the above scenario, what should I do? Please I want only healthy comments that will help me make my decision. Thanks.

My brother im so sorry this is happening to you. Infidelity is one of the worst things that can happen to someone in a marriage. It throws a betrayed spouse off balance and makes the person depressed.
You must know that your wayward wife is not your friend. She is your adversary, so be careful.

Stop sleeping with her. Go and do full panel STD test to make sure you are free from any disease.

She is mostly likely lying to you. Wayward spouses lie a lot to cover their tracks. I believe she must have had physical affairs with one or two of these men. It does not take anything for physical affair to take place. And often they do it without protection.

For now, don't think that your wife is remorseful. What she is feeling right now is regret and not remorse. Regret and remorse are not the same. She is regretting being caught. If you had not caught her, she would have been doing what she was doing.

Don't pay too much attention to her pleadings. She is in a self preservation mode. She is trying to preserve her fake image and the marriage. She is ashamed. Don't promise your wife forgiveness yet even if you have the intention of reconciling with her in the future.

Please let her people know about what happened. Don't mind her apology. The response you get from her people will determine if you will tell your people or not. You need emotional support right now. For that, you can tell a close friend you trust about what's going on.

For a marriage to thrive there must be respect, trust and love. Your wife doesn't respect you. She has destroyed the trust you have in her. She doesn't love you ofcourse . If she loves you, she wouldn't have done what she did.

Most of the time, the signs of infidelity in a marriage might be presenting itself before the betrayed spouse but he or she often ignores them. Some of these signs are: your wife always picking fights with you, her phone is always on silent, change of password, avoiding physical contact with you, she is always with her phone wherever she goes, she is ignoring you, she is always giving excuses to deny you sex, she often tells you to be quick about it whenever you want to have sex with her etc. Often a betrayed spouse attributes some of the above mentioned signs to other factors other than infidelity. And i don't blame them for that

From now onwards, judge your wife by her actions and not her words. She can't be trusted. She is a liar. Watch her closely to see signs of remorse if you are still interested in the marriage. If you are no longer interested, please cut your losses and move on because your wife is not a safe partner. The woman you taught you married was just a fantasy.

My brother, your wife did not just learn what she was doing recently. She was doing it even before you married her but you didn't know. Habits are very difficult to drop. Marriage doesn't make one to change a habit.

Your wife might become a safe partner in the future if she is ready to do the work that is involved.

Again, are you sure all the kids are yours?

On a spiritual level, infidelity brings stagnation in marriages. This might be one of the reasons why your marriage is not thriving. Please eat well and sleep well. May God strengthen you.

Kaykay999:

You’re a super simp
Tufiakwa
Wtf beg her to stop cheating

Understanding is far from you.

Take time to read my comment.

Lastborn0074:
Please I need honest suggestions. My wife has had several male platonic friends ever since we met. She became friends with others through me. I trusted her because she's a very sociable person, so I wasn't bothered because I know a lot of ladies that have male friends too. She's been open to me about them.

Recently, something happened. A close female friend of hers (also married) started keeping her at arm's length. My wife didn't know what the problem was until information got to her that this friend of hers was going about telling people that she could no longer be friends with her because she's sleeping around with men indiscriminately.

My wife confronted her with this information, for which she denied. But the informant, who was also invited, insisted that she actually said it. Before this time, my wife would always complain that each time she visits her friend, she would knock on the door but nobody would respond. This happened repeatedly until her tenant told my wife in confidence that his landlady was always around each time she visits.

Recently, I discovered that my wife was actually having amorous relationship with her male friends. I have access to her messeinger and I have seen those amorous chats. She would delete the ones that could implicate her. A male friend of hers even sent her adult videos and she told him to send more, that she was enjoying it. This man went further to send her his masturbation video.

I confronted my wife with these and what people told me, but she denied. After putting much pressure on her, she said she was about to do it, not that she actually did it. I asked her the reason and she said that it was because of the hardship we were facing. Since her business collapsed, it's been very difficult to survive with our four children. I'm the only one fending for the family. Even after confronting her, I discovered that she's still into the act.

Given the above scenario, what should I do? Please I want only healthy comments that will help me make my decision. Thanks.

Sit down there dey wait for advice on nairaland,

VladimirPutiin:


Bro I think you know what to do. And sorry to say this. If you can run a DNA tests on those kids please do. I can bet there are a whole lots of secrets you don’t know yet. A whorish woman is more than deadlier than a two edged sword.

Don't run any DNA test on those children. They are yours. Consider it as such. By virtue of marriage, they have all become yours and have the right in your home. Don't dig too much for your sanity and health.
I am yet to see any man who come out strong again after finding out the very children he nurtured are not his. Don't want to find out. Divorcing the adulterous woman alone is enough trouble. Your mental and physical health will be seriously affected. Don't add salt to your injury by running DNA test.
For the adulterous woman, kick her butt out of your life.
Your children are you major solace. Don't try to loose all.
Wish you the best of decisions.

urose93:


Don't run any DNA test on those children. They are yours. Consider it as such. By virtue of marriage, they have all become yours and have the right in your home. Don't dig too much for your sanity and health.
I am yet to see any man who come out strong again after finding out the very children he nurtured are not his. Don't want to find out. Divorcing the adulterous woman alone is enough trouble. Your mental and physical health will be seriously affected. Don't add salt to your injury by running DNA test.
For the adulterous woman, kick her butt out of your life.
Your children are you major solace. Don't try to loose all.
Wish you the best of decisions.

What if those children are not truly his

VladimirPutiin:


What if those children are not truly his

They more reason he shouldn't run a DNA test. Marriage is an adult thing.
From experience, the best thing to do is not run a paternity test.

I beg you in the name of God.
Don't beat her. Don't insult her. Don't threaten her.
Divorce her immediately, she's not for you any longer.
What she will do to you will be worst.
You are a dead man working.
Once she confessed that she's about to do it because of hardship, she will still do it, and if you're becoming inquisitive, she and her partner (s) will silent you, both physically and spiritually.

Just plan ahead for your children, those with your positive DNA on them only.
Best of luck