₦airaland Forum

“I was 26 when I got married. Things were rosy for the first few months, but soon my in-laws' attitude towards me changed. They knew that I worked in advertising before marriage, but after they started saying that only ‘cheap women’ work in advertising and that as a married woman, I should adhere to the social etiquette of wealthy families and start a Kindergarten. Imagine this coming from a family of well-educated individuals!
This didn’t sit well with me, so I politely declined. After that, they started putting me down. Everyday they would say things like -- ‘You don’t know how to dress properly’, ’You don’t know how to talk’, ‘Your parents are no more and you married our son for money’. My husband remained silent throughout.
Over time I lost all confidence. Things got worse when one day, my husband and I were having yet another argument, and he hit me! I just kept staring at him, dumbfounded.

The beatings got worse with time. I would be battered and bruised almost every day, but everyone turned a blind eye to it. I was advised to do ‘anything’ to save my marriage -- I was married into a lot of money, and that was more important than my well being.
The final, and life changing, blow came a year and a half into the marriage. We were in the middle of an argument, when my in-laws asked me to leave at 2 in the morning! When I refused, they physically pushed me out of the house.

I remember feeling so lost that night, I had no money and no one to go to… In a daze, I took a rickshaw to my maid, Bobby’s place, and she took me in. Even though she understood the situation, she didn’t say a word and just acted as if everything was normal. That was when something just snapped in me. I decided to pull myself together and turn things around for myself. The very next day, I took up a job at an NGO to atleast sustain. I took up another job correcting Grammar in Training Manuals. I lived with Bobby until I collected enough money for rent to move into another house. I began feeling more confident because there was nobody abusing me all the time -- I then filed for divorce.
But I realised there were so many hurdles -- I was exploited because of my lack of legal knowledge. I finally decided to enroll myself at a University then proceeded to Law School when I was 36, not only to help myself but all those women who’ve faced domestic violence like myself.

Today, I’m happy -- I’m a lawyer who’s helped thousands of women suffering from domestic abuse. I’ve authored two books. I live by myself, travel to amazing places all over the world and cook some pretty good food. I’m divorced, and clearly not following any kind of expected ‘social etiquette’; I’m nowhere near as wealthy as my ex husband’s family but let me tell you -- I’ve never felt more free and alive before!”

flyingdutchman:
Hi, I really would like to have a contact with the author/lawyer. Ive got some ish. Thanks.

Threesha:
From DM

Chnbanc:
Ur story
Ur life
Ur ish...
Life is a journey