₦airaland Forum

HarunaWest:
From the look of things. He has a secret that you don't know. A secret between he and your wife. I don't think they are having an affair. First thing first, run a coded DNA test on your kids to confirm paternity before asking other questions

OP please don't take this particular advice for granted..also don't be in a haste to confront them, play dumb and lay ur traps.

Op Grop1040

You are not man enough to protect your family. Why must you use your children and wise to heal your half brother.

You don't respect your wife at all, you exposed her to maltreatment and temptations.

If you are not financially ok, doesn't mean your rich brother should take over your family.

You alone deserve most of the blame. Your wife too is weak in character, but you are the cause. Never allow your wife to be subservient to your brother. Once you notice the disrespectful act towards her you supposed to have give direction, by telling her to maintain distance and avoid her from getting close to your half brother in your presence nor absence.

How long will you continue to use your wife to heal your brother. You are not a good husband, exposing your wife to a man without wife for years. He is already a damaged human being and will lack empathy, self-respect, sexual pleasure among others.

You better act fast before you loose your own family.

Really

grop1040:
I already ran DNA on my son, he was the only one that I doubted, but result came out that am the biological father. However instinct kept telling me to run it again.

With this I can come to conclusion that you have trust problems.
You can go ahead and destroy your marriage and family.
Nonsense and Buhari's government!

Attachment could start between two persons not married to each other.Let your wife seat him down and talk to him in a very calm and mature manner, pointing out to him that she and you are no more comfortable with his closeness to your her. Also tell your wife to cut off any closeness with him. Lastly stop taking your children to his apartment and avoid any activity that will bring him close to your wife again till further notice. But I figure your wife is a shy or timid person. If that be the case you may need to do it yourself but remember do it maturely and calmly.

truthCoder:
The wife has studied the relationship within the family and recognises where the power is. Power and control is currently not with the OP (irrespective of how 'masculine' he tries to sound).

The wife has observed many chances for her husband to stand up for his family but the man of her family has consistently chickened out.

The step brother is a narcissistic bully and by nature a manipulative fellow. He is playing all the power games and it is evident one of his dreamed prizes is the OP's wife.

If the OP doesnt act, the step brother would possibly rape his wife and the OP would only keep suspecting the wife for infidelity. The OP is blind to his potential weakness against his brother and can only attack the potential victim in this matter, in this case, his wife.

The wife needs all the help she can get from her husband against the bully, not suspicions.

So, let's assume the op doesn't act. Should the wife eventually give in to the half brother if he makes advances at her.

A wife can be called good if she politely turns the half brother down and if he persists, she is expected to discuss his advances or behavior with her husband.

She is expected to resist the advances or inappropriate behavior of the half brother, even to the knowledge of her husband and leave it at that.

She has not been doing that. She wouldn't take repeated calls from her husband but almost immediately took the call of his half brother. What does that mean?

It seems she has interest in the half brother or she is already into him.

Dumb comment, if u can't believe, stfu and let pple who believe giv an advise

omotoshodontee1:
M having hard time in believing this story Sha... very bitter to swallow

Don't get too hard on either of them, but before you begin showing concerns, investigate EXTREMELY well, make sure they have no idea you watching them that way they will keep giving out lots of clues without knowing, if you find out nothing is happening, caution the two of em seriously. Bleep whatever trauma he's going thru that his home got broken doesn't mean ur shud as well

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

Brother pls don’t listen to these people that are trying to ignite fire on your family.
Na Man U be..Ask ur brother out and reason with him.Tell him that you’ve taken offense many times and quarreled with your wife over that then calm down and listen to him.The next thing he say or do will give you the answers you need.
Note that if nothing is going on btw them,u might loose the little bond that you have with ur brother.

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

nothing sexual is going on.... She is just more attracted to your half brother, than she is to you. Maybe, he has more swag. Don't sweat it, just tell her to make a choice, so you can have your peace.

You spoke well bro

MrbasHH:
Omo this is so deep ooo…. I no dey like this kind story. When I still dey single. My girl friend then now my wife bn see one of her old time church friend (male) few years ago during inec adhoc training. We dey waka together and all of a sudden she was no where to be found and when I come look back I bn see her with the guy talking, gisting and laughing … omo the kind shout wey I shout for am. The guy had to beg me. What an insolence me no dey take nonsense when it come to my woman matter ooo. Her parent know say me get Choco for head reason why they supported my marriage with her.


What I’m saying in essence is that you for don voice out. Make you talk your mind make everybody know wetin dey sup when that your stepbrother dey trespass. Which kind nonsense be that. You no fit try shit with my woman because I be real nigga! my judgement and para na instant. I no dey look face.


And as for your woman. She fit no get anything to do with that your brother. E fit be say na fear dey make am react like that and as things be now brother man if you no do anything asap and if anything never sup between them before. Bro the guy don already put fear for your wife body and Baba that your brother go use that advantage Bleep your wife to stupor. No vex bro…… that’s the power of mind controlling. The guy don shallow your wife ….. the guy don capture her mind come put fear for her body.



Na you fuckup …. Na man you be na…. Why you go dey control my wife for where I dey ?na you pay for dowry? Bros take charge. No dull yourself. Be wise, be smart. The nonsense must stop now. Be brave .


Your woman too mumu small. You wey be the horseband oh sorry husband call am for 4times she no pick and almost immediately your brother call and she pick up. Lol……hmmm (she go tell me wetin she see for soup wey make am do hand like that) Na for palace we go take settle the matter. Brother man be wise brother man.

Ecos:
Because of your brother knacking your wife u come write all this epistle and u expect me to read it. Oga be a man and pursue ur wife before them connive and kill u with otapiapia

Why you dey talk like this now.

Nothing might be happening, you know women with low reasoning

It's surprising to know that you're the one providing for the family and to a large extent, even your half brother. I actually took some hours to ponder over the story and read comments here too before commenting. I hope you find the time to read and act on my advice. It may look lengthy but I took my time because I know it'll benefit others in similar situations too.

The truth is, your wife and your brother may not have had anything even though the chances are slim. Don't mistrust your wife yet and don't let her and your brother know you're suspecting anything, otherwise you might do something stupid, scatter the family peace or even end up dead all because of suspicion. Things are not usually the way they seem. Sex is the easiest thing to have with a woman or man irrespective of their marital status. But it could also be the most difficult thing between a man and woman depending on the values held by both parties or even one of them. I have courted a lady for years. She liked me, no doubt. We even passed the nights together in her place or mine but never had sex even though I made the move
but she always resisted and I was not the type to rape a lady. Conversely, I've met a lady on the road or bus and we ended up in bed few hours later. My advice is, don't conclude yet but you need to act fast, otherwise it's a matter of time before they commit the act.

Whether they're sleeping now is not clear but some things are clear from your narrative. You seem like the good guy who doesn't want to offend people but end up being hurt. The world is too rough for people like you. Secondly, you FAILED woefully in protecting your wife. Women need protection and assurance but you left your wife helpless and at the receiving end. Who knows how many times your wife must have told you about how your brother berated her or if she didn't tell you, she must have cried many times behind you wondering why you hated her so much or why she was so worthless to you. You failed to show her how much she meant to you when you allowed your brother turn her to a piece of rag. Now it seems she has realised you're not a hiding place for her and has decided to play along.

Don't get me wrong, she may not have given in yet. Just pray that she's still praying that you man up and help her reclaim her position in the family. That's if she is not already enjoying your brother and that is why I said act fast before darkness covers you up.

Your brother is playing a mind game on you and your wife. Don't think he's sleeping with her yet because I found it difficult to believe that he would ask your wife for an outing before you or cut meat for your wife before you with her teeth. He also called your wife before you and your wife picked just once after you had called her 4 times. It's either he's passing a message to your wife that you're nothing before him and he can do anything to your wife without you batting an eyelid (which is too bad and you're to blame for this) OR he's so innocent he doesn't see anything wrong with those acts. Afterall, he didn't need to ask your wife for an outing before you, if he had something to hide from you. He also didn't need to call your wife after she had failed to pick your call. By the way,I thought your wife was going to make an excuse that she wasn't with her phone when you called her, that she just picked her phone now when the other call came but telling you that she was trying to pick your call was DUMB and unbelievable at 4 different times.

MY ADVICE
Draw close to your wife and make her have a sense of belonging. Apologise for treating her like a slave and allowing your brother do worse.

Set clear boundaries with your brother. Don't give the impression that you're suspecting infidelity. Just let him know that you feel your wife has suffered a lot from you and him through the way she has been treated and you want to right the wrongs. Do this and keep your eyes and ears open. If you take your time, you'll soon find out the truth. If your wife is already bleeping him, they'll still not stop and that will give you the time to catch them red-handed. It's only a matter of time. Such things don't go on forever. There are so many ways you can find out but this my epistle is already too long to start saying that. By restoring your wife, you'll be at peace that you have mended fences and if she eventually turns out a hole, you can at least satisfy your conscience and have a genuine reason to move on.

Don't listen to people telling you to chase her out. Even though it may come as first thought, the truth is you have no evidence yet. Put your mind at rest, be the man in your family. It is not too late. There's never a wrong time to do the right thing. You can still put your brother in his place. If your brother doesn't care about your happiness, why care about his? The children you said have helped his mental condition may not even be the one doing it, it may be the way your wife is servicing him or the way she is pretending to play along so as have her peace and not to be the scapegoat. She may be giving your brother some false hope just to have her peace while praying God should give you the courage to caution your brother. I think that woman is bottling a lot and is suffering within.

Your metal health too is important so stop thinking about things that may not be happening and focus on what you know and can repair.

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

From all indications something is going on between them.
Your wife know watsup guy.

I'll advise you put a close look to your wife and brother without them knowing , the devourer is about to devour.

U really need a strong evidence before u confront them. Otherwise, just tell them how u feel about their closeness and u don't want it to continue

My brother set BOUNDARIES, he wants to destroy your home because he does not have one anymore.

Your wife does not want to be called a bad wife so she will take every bulls hit your step brother throws at her.

I think your wife has a crush on your stepbrother... But I don't think anything has happened between them. If anything has happened, they would be very secretive, and that doesn't seem to be the case.

Act fast else I see him sharing your wife with you because she won't resist him since she sees you not protecting her enough.

Is he the one bringing food to you guys table?....I'm sorry to ask

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

The deed has been done. He achieved it when he gave the same meat to your wife.
He will start sleeping with her and she will fall for it.
Your mother will know later but she will be you to forgive them.
If you are not careful,he will kill you.
Good day!

I wonder how they get disgusting stories like this. Using your family to heal your divorced half brother. Mr doctor well done

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

My instinct might be wrong..., it's telling me ur wife is innocent of woteva ur bros is nursing abi hatching.

Abeg no start unnecessary fight. Wait for more clear clue

Your wife might be reading this also!

Asquare84:
Have you discussed with your pastor, or seek a face of God in prayers to change the behavior of your wife

Wots d big crime of d wife here?

D slight issue I see here is failing to pick d husband's call while picked dat of d step brother, but den, it could be unintentional, something might've caused dat. Maybe she was about picking it before it ended, u know, such thing happens.

Am not saying she's clean. Just giving her some benefits of doubt

Asquare84:
Have you discussed with your pastor, or seek a face of God in prayers to change the behavior of your wife

Wots d big crime of d wife here?

D slight issue I see here is failing to pick d husband's call while picked dat of d step brother, but den, it could be unintentional, something might've caused dat. Maybe she was about picking it before it ended, u know, such thing happens.

Am not saying she's clean. Just giving her some benefits of doubt. Women too can b dicey

Does she use WhatsApp? I have an app that I can give to you that you can use to track her WhatsApp messages.

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

You're thinking too much.

Nothing is happening, I can assure you.

Your brother is lonely and still recovering from trauma. It takes really long to recover from such a trauma as the one he has gone through. Sometimes people never ever recover from such. He might just be on survival mode but has no one to explain his deepest pains to. Trauma can reconfigure a person's brain and socializing in an appropriate manner becomes a problem for them. Inside they have so many questions without answers; in addition, they have this persistent feeling of not fitting-in and the physical manifestation comes as awkward behaviour or words.

On the other side, your wife might not want to start complaining to you about your brother, so she'd rather manage things her way. You guys 'outnumber' her so she might not want to risk it.

Again, what you have explained here doesn't give me enough to believe that anything is going on between them; so free your mind. It will be a really stupid thing for you and your brother to have issues because of your wife; so don't ever confront him. Rather, encourage him to get married again. Carry one girl dash am as wife so that your family can have its peace; he might reject her initially because of male ego, but be persistent. Tell him that you only allowed you wife to help him out initially when thing were still difficult, but that cannot continue now because no one else but him can help himself recover. Tell him it is time to enter another phase of recovery; and that is the phase of having his own woman again.

Wallade:
So, let's assume the op doesn't act. Should the wife eventually give in to the half brother if he makes advances at her.

A wife can be called good if she politely turns the half brother down and if he persists, she is expected to discuss his advances or behavior with her husband.

She is expected to resist the advances or inappropriate behavior of the half brother, even to the knowledge of her husband and leave it at that.

She has not been doing that. She wouldn't take repeated calls from her husband but almost immediately took the call of his half brother. What does that mean?

It seems she has interest in the half brother or she is already into him.

Not once did you condemn the step brother's actions. You kept on finding ways to put the blame basket at the wife.

You talk about 'expectations' for the wife. You act like nothing is expected from the idiotic brother.

Let the OP man up and protect his family.

Mumu man.. He tells your wife to cook stew for him and you allowed that because he doesn’t know road to a restaurant or how to hire a chef … Which kind pvssy ass niggars we get these days? … Even your wife is waiting for you to man up, be a man and handle your so called brother like a man with balls..

Ecos:
Because of your brother knacking your wife u come write all this epistle and u expect me to read it. Oga be a man and pursue ur wife before them connive and kill u with otapiapia

I don’t think the step brother is banging his wife.
I think the step brother knows something the hubby doesn’t know and using it as a leverage on her.
Like he caught her with a man in a hotel or coming out from hotel with a man. Something like that or similar and it has made the woman to be scared and fear him.
She believes by being on the man’s good book, he won’t spill her secret to the hubby

Protect your precious wife and family from the Narcissist-Abuser-Bully-Misogynist. Orishirishi. You know he is temperamental and controlling, yet you exposed probably "gentle" wife to him to damage, most likely intimidate and "control" well. He needs to go for therapy and work on himself; not looking for the next (female) scapegoat to take out nonsense frustrations and entitlement feelings on. Orishirishi.