₦airaland Forum

Soulflai:
Not now,dont have much

That's unfortunate... can you tell whether your child resembles you or your wife's ex? Maybe try comparing your pictures together. I just have that you're bringing up your biological child.

Obidient4life3:
Sure. I have told her that as often as I can. It made to cut communications with her. 31years is young of course. But truth is at that age a lot of women know what direction they want to face in life than the ones at 24. . Experience has thought me that. When I met my wife, she was 30. She don do everything wey she want do tire . I never had a single headache for the 7months we spent as friends before I married her.

That's d simple truth. It's well. Enjoy

Soulflai:
I will be coming to Kaduna next week also .She is in Kaduna with the kids for holiday from Lagos,I will join them also next week .Now I will table all the matter before her family members to decide

May God see you through

Marrying a virgin is not the answer. Virgins may also have ex-boyfriend. Also remember even the best ashawos were once virgins.

jeromestarks:
Why didn't you marry a virgin?
Why didn't you divorce her immediately you saw evidence of cheating?
Why did you have to call the ex? (As in for what exactly?)
These are the things that made me call you an idiot. But it's not too late though. I take back the insult because you have promised to disolve the marriage.
Please if you can, take the baby after she delivers it anywhere. Make sure you always tell the child what the mother did so that s/he would know that whoring is not good.
Good luck my friend.

GenBuhari:
Marrying a virgin is not the answer. Virgins may also have ex-boyfriend. Also remember even the best ashawos were once virgins.

What is this one saying?

NemoDatQuod:
Please stop deceiving yourself. Change the heading to "My wife is about to ruin my marriage". Your wife's ex has nothing to do with it.

It is men like you who end up killing your wives in a moment of madness because you do not have the courage to take the difficult decisions and deal with issues at the right time and in a mature way. You went and married a woman and she went ahead to open her legs wide for another man to penetrate her and pour his semen inside her. Then you have the fortune of finding out and you are still living with her and calling out the man she slept with and threatening to do something about it next time?

You could not even bring yourself to acknowledge that your wife is the problem. Instead you are blaming her ex. Then you are hiding under your children to state why you have not divorced her. Hmm.

Send your wife back home to wherever she came from and divorce her now. If you can't take care of your kids by yourself, let her go with them and make arrangements to visit them regularly and take care of their financial needs where you can. Else, when you kill her and go to prison for life, those kids you are pretending to care for right now, will suffer for life.

It is clear your wife's adultery is very painful to you. End that marriage now, so you don't kill her in the future and go to prison. Marriage is not by force. Your wife has shown that she values her ex above her marriage. She will not stop or change. Even if she changes, I don't know how you guys are able to live with a wife who has opened her legs for another man to pour in his seed! You may as well stay single and do your thing.

Very stupid man you will learn the hard way when we keep advising you on nairaland you think we are misogynists

Lovelydaisies:
Hey, are you Catholic?

Nope!

Why ask?

Even a Nigerian lady living next across the road with you will cheat on you...

Its in their DNA...One prick cant satisfy them...they even prefer the local ogogoro boy to be uselesssing their pussssyyy than their ready made husband...they just want your last name as their and you pay for food,travelaccomodation for them...

Last last if not be careful...na dem go get highest rate of hiv the way we are going...

Go to xvideos and see amount of nigerian girls doing blue films every day...orgy and all sort of xrated stuff..

na one of you go still pay bride price na.

This is the result of marrying a woman who is from a bad family.
Maybe she married you to continue collecting pocket money from you. Are you sure the children are even yours?
Don’t marry a woman who depends on you for livelihood.

superCleanworks:
you called the guy to beg him to stop poking your very own wife? Very nice and manly of you.
Did he rape your so called wife? or he simply took what she gave to him jejely?
If I was the guy I would make you even pay me before I leave her or we draw up an agreement with a time table because from the look of things you are married to yourself and she is married to the guy. He was even poking your baby's eyes when she was pregnant at 5 months. and he probably came on the baby's face too. This one still be marriage?

Please sit her down and talk to her then forgive her. You can even cry in front of her so she can see how you feel. rubbish

kai, which baby's eyes. He only said sext at 5 months

You were warned before ,and the mod rushed n deleted your thread history.
I remembered a guy saying...once debe by ex,would also get debe'd again.

Both you and your wife are tall.

Cheasystickylov:
kai, which baby's eyes. He only said sext at 5 months

ehen naw. as he was banging the wife, the prick was hitting the baby's eyes, mouth, nose too. just imagine the trauma that baby must have felt inside the womb and the mother no even send she must have been screaming harder harder. and if they greet women HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, she seff go follow answer.

superCleanworks:
ehen naw. as he was banging the wife, the prick was hitting the baby's eyes, mouth, nose too. just imagine the trauma that baby must have felt inside the womb and the mother no even send she must have been screaming harder harder. and if they greet women HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, she seff go follow answer.

the savagery on nairaland is just too much. This is a highly emotional matter

Cheasystickylov:
the savagery on nairaland is just too much. This is a highly emotional matter

very emotional. i feel sad.
that soulflai guy still woke up this morning with the title of HUSBAND. Husband to someone who should be single by now.

reiddecuti:
Nope!

Why ask?

What you wrote up there resembles the qualifications of a mortal sin in our catechism. Sorry for mix-up.

Just make sure the kids are yours then if they are yours. Divorce will be ok because having an affair with another man when you are there especially when she's carrying your child is very evil

By d time u are gone (God forbid), those shudren u say are 'too small' will live their lives; they won't be buried along with you.

Thats all.I have to say....,advice 'fire'.

Soulflai:
If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

The best thing to do is to let her GO. she will never change. She’s a loose woman and prostitute. Her crying and wailing wouldn’t stop her from having sex with the same boyfriends weeks later. Also do a DNA test on your kids… HE MUST CHEAT AGAIN, MARK MY WORDS. DIVORCE HER.

I have heard you,I will dispose the marriage.Dont abuse someone like that egbon

Wande22:
Soulflai, honestly you are the younger brother to Mumuhadu Foolhari

My wife slip im mouth say if not for her mama, she wan serve me "papers" as soon as I hear am, I don trigger "PLAN B, C, and D", you dey there dey do love wan-tin-tin

Ode

Sugomu

Alaini'ronu ara Galatia

Afofungbemu

Soulflai:
You don't get the story,she has given birth already.The baby is almost 2 years now .All her sex excapade with her ex happen 2 years ago when we just newly married.I just got to know through WhatsApp back up chat with her ex.She didn't do it now.

Wether she cheated yesterday or today, what matters most is that she allowed another man pour his semen inside her while she is pregnant with her husband's baby. Dump that woman fast the way you'd drop hot coal.

detectivejones:
Women tend to unerase the memory of a good prick even after being married. I cant explain much on this but try and watch Sex Life it'd help with all these stories about women cheating wit exes everywhere.

where can one find the movie

Cheasystickylov:
where can one find the movie

Netflix(It's a series)

Lovelydaisies:
What you wrote up there resembles the qualifications of a mortal sin in our catechism. Sorry for mix-up.

My dear, sin is sin though religion have categorized sin into classes.

May you please enlighten me on the mortal sin?

Soulflai:
I have heard you,I will dispose the marriage.Dont abuse someone like that egbon

brotherly no vex. Then i was Madly mad and Angrily angry

knowingChrist:
This is the most painful things a man can go through. It's the worst of all sins unto another. I really feel your pain bc I know this pain is even unto your soul. Sorry brother and I hope God gives you the strength to do the right thing.

However, since I know there are many kids out here who will advice you off their minds, I'm poised to give you a manly advice.

There's never a reason we love people. Usually love should never be bc of the next person but sadly it's become so in the world we find ourself. People have become selfish in love and this is why we have system of cheating partners.

The emotional thing to do is to send her packing at this instance and keep pictures of her messages as evidence in case you have to go to court but life transcends emotions. In fact, foolishness is to live and make decisions based emotions.

Marriage is a union, it's not a breakable union, that said a man must look not to break his marriage at any point in time. I know this experience will be painful but healing is sweater than any pain. The reason you're who you're is that you might become like God someday, through reasonable decision, patience, understanding, forgiveness and self control.

You need all of this to come into place for you at the moment. I can remember but there's a story in the bible about a man who married a woman and she went harloting. The bible says he went to the whorehouse and picked her up and cleaned her and set her in her place as his wife.

You're that man and that's how God has been picking you up and cleaning you up every time you go on running after money in idolation. Living for money is idolatry before God and almost everyone in our country Nigeria is guilty of this. I believe you have forgive your wife by think of ur kids as you've mentioned. After you've forgiven her, call her and ask her what she wants. Ask her if she wants the marriage or not. Let her know she doesn't deserve ur forgiveness but you're doing it for God and for the poor kids that you've brought into life through her.

Let her know she has to work out her respect back before you. Create standards in the relationship that will hopeful help you guys conquer the fury of gossips and further attacks from this so called Ex. May the good Lord help you brother. God bless you

Your are wicked. Using the scripture to validate this evil

Coolx:
Your wife slept with another man while she was pregnant and seeking for an advise
I thank God say me and you no relate cos the kind slap wey ar go wos u ehn make eyes clear
Let me tell you the truth na that ur wife go k*ll u.....
I'm not married and my fiancee no fit try this shit with me
So tell me na like this u won take train ur children
U deserve beating

Clentuzbaba:
What your wife did is the height of MATRIMONIAL IRREVERENCE and while I won't exonerate you from such degeneration, I won't dwell on that because I believe what you need right now is EMOTIONAL SUPPORT & OBJECTIVE RESPONSE but the diverse nature of the advices you'll get here will end up confusing you as you you will be at loss on which to follow.
So this is my advice, SEEK THE INTERVENTION OF EXPERTS. Believe me they've seen countless cases like yours and worse. Most guys that comment on NL are unmarried, their views will only reflect the level of their own experiences. Which is not same as yours.
You can contact https://www.instagram.com/funkeadetuberu/?hl=en and https://twitter.com/funkewog?lang=en on twitter. I guarantee you'll be glad you did. She specialises in matters like this and she's always willing to help. You can also reach out to other sources, this is just the one I know. I wish you well.

...while I won't exonerate you for such degeneration...
You said it all bro from that statement

Ninisun:
And your gender doesn't cheat From relationship to marriage na so so cheat cheat, woman don do am and we no go hear word.

Abeg what is good for the goose, is also good for the gander. Let Op keep reading chats till he collapses.

The lady was pregnant

iamL:
I can never forgive cheating even if God comes down I don't care what may have lead to it. Do a DNA test for your children.

, you don't care if God comes down ?. Na hell fire you de look

Ovieemmanuel:
Na wah oo so that guy was hitting your babies head inside the womb.

how did u know it was hitting the head. The baby is in a sac for crying out loud

reiddecuti:
My dear, sin is sin though religion have categorized sin into classes.

May you please enlighten me on the mortal sin?

Permit me to share it this way.

Cheasystickylov:
how did u know it was hitting the head. The baby is in a sac for crying out loud

ok hitting the sack close to the babies head.