tensazangetsu20:
I have this friend who called me today telling me that he's done with dating. He just got a graduate trainee role at GT and he said going out on dates and getting to know women et al aren't looking funny on his finances that he's just gonna go visit prostitutes whenever he has the urge and since he's so busy at work or with work he's only gonna be able to go maybe once a week or once in two weeks and this got me thinking does it make sense to date as a Nigerian man?

Let's say you earn 150k a month. A typical outing in Lagos could set you back by at least 10k and that's just to meet and know each other and hang out. Now imagine doing that 3 times a week. These frivolous outings that guarantee nothing to you could pretty much be eating up all your salary if you aren't careful at all.

There are men that do get sex without spending or going on dates but these are like the top 1 percent of Nigerian men probably by looks or social status considering that the vast majority of Nigerian men are ugly (I inclusive) does dating make sense for a Nigerian man? Datings are just one part of it the extreme energy and time it takes to keep up a relationship is also something else entirely.

crackhaus:

Thank God for me oo...

I honestly can't remember ever going on a real date with a "prospective" girlfriend/fvck buddy in the past, I very rarely did that and I can count on just one hand how many of them I had to take out first before we got close.

The trick is, and like I always say, ONLY/ALWAYS choose women who have chosen you as well... It just makes everything go easier & smoother.

Afterwards though, it's quite necessary to go on outings every once in a while with your confirmed partner/gf/wife.

Nor go dey do pass yourself unto say you wan win daughter of Jezebel... Abeg o!

tensazangetsu20:

At the bolded yeah definitely but we are talking of the vast majority of Nigerian men that are ugly handsome guys still get sex without paying for anything. A mutual friend of ours had a lady pay his flight ticket so he could come to Abuja for sex but this guy is handsome.

tensazangetsu20:


At the bolded yeah definitely but we are talking of the vast majority of Nigerian men that are ugly handsome guys still get sex without paying for anything. A mutual friend of ours had a lady pay his flight ticket so he could come to Abuja for sex but this guy is handsome.

Excel70:
. Vast majority of Nigerian women are ugly. Fortunately for them,they can hide behind wigs ,attachment and make up.

chariisGRACE:
These ho*s ain't loyal. They don't love anymore like they used to do.

tensazangetsu20:
I have this friend who called me today telling me that he's done with dating. He just got a graduate trainee role at GT and he said going out on dates and getting to know women et al aren't looking funny on his finances that he's just gonna go visit prostitutes whenever he has the urge and since he's so busy at work or with work he's only gonna be able to go maybe once a week or once in two weeks and this got me thinking does it make sense to date as a Nigerian man?

Let's say you earn 150k a month. A typical outing in Lagos could set you back by at least 10k and that's just to meet and know each other and hang out. Now imagine doing that 3 times a week. These frivolous outings that guarantee nothing to you could pretty much be eating up all your salary if you aren't careful at all.

There are men that do get sex without spending or going on dates but these are like the top 1 percent of Nigerian men probably by looks or social status considering that the vast majority of Nigerian men are ugly (I inclusive) does dating make sense for a Nigerian man? Datings are just one part of it the extreme energy and time it takes to keep up a relationship is also something else entirely.

BrianGriffin:
Majority of you guys don’t even have game. All you do is complain. You use money to attract a lady obviously someone richer is going to attract her. Relationship is not gender biased. As a man what do you offer. You attract what you are. @OP work on yourself, you keep saying ugly men this and that meaning your only attractive feature is money lol. I boldly say I don’t spend money to attract ladies. You need to offer what most guys can’t offer. These days any “thing” can have money(yahoo,tech,crypto etc). You need an X factor. Of which money is not sadly(for a poor county like Nigeria we think it is money but wake up wake up) Anyone can have money I repeat.

pansophist:


Yes, money is the cheapest thing anyone can have. Although a man should have money, it should not be the only thing. Character is one, virtue is another. Ambition also, to be ridiculously smart, intellectually vast, eloquent in speech, as in the content of your speech should just awe your listeners, and oh, be confident too, look good, I mean to be fit and look proportionally muscular.

have a goal that fuels you, be there for your family because she will notice it and knows what's in for her if you commit to her, be strong in your spirit and soul, and have the ability to be wicked. As in, being able to fork people up big time if they cross your redline, doesn't mean you are bad, it means you are a good person, otherwise, how can you protect yourself and her? Even Jesus that loves you will send you to hellfire if you mess up, how much more me, a human wey no fit love you like Jesus?

You see, none of the things above have to do with money, it takes investment in oneself to reach this height of personal sophistication. Also, women are way smarter than men give them credit for. Just like men will fork a foolish woman that is not virtuous, after all, what can she offer apart from sex? it's the same for women. A woman will chop a man's money if money is the only thing he can offer. But you see that strong man that has a good head on his shoulder, she will be loyal and be on her best behavior.

Men regulate women, and to make a woman (anyone actually) live uprightly and relate with you in truth, it must come from you first. Personally, I have never begged or forced a woman to treat me right, because when she sees how I conduct myself, she knows that I won't tolerate subpar treatment. A woman has to know that you chose, not settled for her, since it signifies your value. You must have options for women way better than her, so she knows the value of your commitment.

Treat her good, love her, make her feel safe and protected, respect her, provide for her, and be a man she can count on, but again, be capable of leaving her immediately she doesn't live up to her own responsibility. If she cheats, insults you, doesn't submit, argues with you like a lawyer, and just gives you the Kim Kardashian vibes, my guy, cut off. Unless she feeds you, then compromises. So be a good man, but refuse to be a pushover.

Charity begins at home, this is the true meaning of that statement. You a man are a leader, and if you lead well, women will follow. No one will follow a subpar leader, but a good one. So getting a good woman is actually an internal job, it starts first with you. Character is the main dish, but money is the topping. A man must have both.

pansophist:
A man should set the structure.

Go out in a park, and if she refuses, better. Or else you just postpone the breakup later when you've invested a bit. No de do pass yourself. Dates are for compatibility, not to impress the other with money, like Sarkodie who likes shouting ''you know say money no be problem''. That's disastrous precedence.

usually, I do the opposite of what most men do, meaning that my spending is progressive, so the longer we know each other, the more likely you can chop my money, but never at the first moment. If you strategize yourself in this manner, you will sieve out the ones that interpret huge spending with a good date.

And like crackhaus said, you must go out with women who have chosen you only. No matter how I like a woman and my preek stand like a gun at the mere sight of her presence, I will never push ahead if it is not mutual. Never. Never convince anybody to like you, because you can't and it is a dead end. You go just suffer for nothing.

pansophist:


Yes, money is the cheapest thing anyone can have. Although a man should have money, it should not be the only thing. Character is one, virtue is another. Ambition also, to be ridiculously smart, intellectually vast, eloquent in speech, as in the content of your speech should just awe your listeners, and oh, be confident too, look good, I mean to be fit and look proportionally muscular.

have a goal that fuels you, be there for your family because she will notice it and knows what's in for her if you commit to her, be strong in your spirit and soul, and have the ability to be wicked. As in, being able to fork people up big time if they cross your redline, doesn't mean you are bad, it means you are a good person, otherwise, how can you protect yourself and her? Even Jesus that loves you will send you to hellfire if you mess up, how much more me, a human wey no fit love you like Jesus?

You see, none of the things above have to do with money, it takes investment in oneself to reach this height of personal sophistication. Also, women are way smarter than men give them credit for. Just like men will fork a foolish woman that is not virtuous, after all, what can she offer apart from sex? it's the same for women. A woman will chop a man's money if money is the only thing he can offer. But you see that strong man that has a good head on his shoulder, she will be loyal and be on her best behavior.

Men regulate women, and to make a woman (anyone actually) live uprightly and relate with you in truth, it must come from you first. Personally, I have never begged or forced a woman to treat me right, because when she sees how I conduct myself, she knows that I won't tolerate subpar treatment. A woman has to know that you chose, not settled for her, since it signifies your value. You must have options for women way better than her, so she knows the value of your commitment.

Treat her good, love her, make her feel safe and protected, respect her, provide for her, and be a man she can count on, but again, be capable of leaving her immediately she doesn't live up to her own responsibility. If she cheats, insults you, doesn't submit, argues with you like a lawyer, and just gives you the Kim Kardashian vibes, my guy, cut off. Unless she feeds you, then compromises. So be a good man, but refuse to be a pushover.

Charity begins at home, this is the true meaning of that statement. You a man are a leader, and if you lead well, women will follow. No one will follow a subpar leader, but a good one. So getting a good woman is actually an internal job, it starts first with you. Character is the main dish, but money is the topping. A man must have both.

Kipaji:

Dear pansophist, why even date when you don't intend to marry the woman or, at least, get into a very long term relationship? Most men just want the sex and since they can't go to the woman and say "Hey! I want to screw you from the back", he comprises and says the same thing in a different way: "Hey! would you like to go out with me?", "Hey! You are very beautiful, I would like to know you better", "Hey, can I have your number?" "Hey! Can I take you on a date."
That's a reason why many men cheat and are unhappy in their relationship: They didn't want the relationship to start with.

pansophist:


Come, you be man or woman sef?

See as you stylishly heap all the blame on men, but wait o, men are not the only guilty ones here, all of us na sinners. Abi you want make i start to list women's sins?

But the rule is simple. Because others don't mean well to you, doesn't mean you should not mean well to yourself. For example, there are millions of women out there that will show Dangote fake love, but it is left to him to donate himself to these women for maximum butchery.

The same applies to women. There is a reason why ''close your leg'' is drummed into women's head, and it's because women are the gatekeepers of sex. A woman decides if sex will happen, and no matter how men try to get into her pants, her verdict is final, otherwise, it would be rape, which is punishable by law.

So it is he who has something of value to lose, also has the responsibility to safeguard it. If a man allows a golddigger to embezzle his money, its his fault, and if a woman allows a forkboy to ransack her honeypot, it's her fault. got it? Yes men may come and test your resolve, but its her responsibility to padlock her pant.

At least learn from ashawos. No money, no nacking. So for normal girls, it should be, no marriage, no nacking. I repeat, women hold the power for sex to happen. So the idea that every relationship must lead to marriage would be less painful after a breakup if a woman only loose her virginity inside the marriage. Life no hard, people no just de do things the right way.

Kipaji:


I fully understand this. As explained in the red pill forum and even by you on previous posts, women are the gatekeepers of sex which makes them bear the principal responsibility of the consequences of sex.
But here, I was focusing on the man's side of the equation, not the equation as a whole because the OP asked if it makes sense for men to go on dates. And I was questioning the very reason why most men go on dates thereby questioning if they should even go on dates at all.

pansophist:



Your question is like asking why do tiger attack innocent sheep, or why is a scammer trying to scam you, or why some women are gold diggers. My question is, why does it matter? This is completely irrelevant in this context.

Their motive for not being good should not be your concern, but how to protect and not make yourself their victim. It's about your strength, not their benevolence. You don't expect others to care more than you should care about yourself.

I always question this notion common with women, where they expect others to act right, without taking necessary precaution themselves. Hence I always say that lots of women see the world from a fairy tale lenses, but It's really cold out there.

I sometimes even wonder why runs girls follow a stranger to his house for money, which makes me wonder whether these women do not have any sense of danger. If he kills her, you blame men, instead of the stupid woman that followed a stranger home.

As a man, my biggest fear are other men. I won't folow a stranger home, or expect them to care for me more than I should care about myself. I ask, is life so good for women that many dont have a sense of danger? I'm not a woman, so I'll never know.

I hope the day comes where men will not deceive women for sex, but until then, it is your responsibility to take necessary precaution. Just as you pray for journey mercies, you still wear seatbelt. Or look left and right before crossing the road.

The first chain of defense to prevent danger lies with you, which is taking precautionary measures. A thief can only steal something he can see, but if you hide it in the bank, you have prevented theft.

If you do not take necessary measures, why should someone else? You want others to care about you more than you should care about yourself? Wake up please, the world is not an utopia, it's filled with evil.

Kipaji:

Dear pansophist, why even date when you don't intend to marry the woman or, at least, get into a very long term relationship? Most men just want the sex and since they can't go to the woman and say "Hey! I want to screw you from the back", he comprises and says the same thing in a different way: "Hey! would you like to go out with me?", "Hey! You are very beautiful, I would like to know you better", "Hey, can I have your number?" "Hey! Can I take you on a date."
That's a reason why many men cheat and are unhappy in their relationship: They didn't want the relationship to start with.

pansophist:



Your question is like asking why do tiger attack innocent sheep, or why is a scammer trying to scam you, or why some women are gold diggers. My question is, why does it matter? This is completely irrelevant in this context.

Their motive for not being good should not be your concern, but how to protect and not make yourself their victim. It's about your strength, not their benevolence. You don't expect others to care more than you should care about yourself.

I always question this notion common with women, where they expect others to act right, without taking necessary precaution themselves. Hence I always say that lots of women see the world from a fairy tale lenses, but It's really cold out there.

I sometimes even wonder why runs girls follow a stranger to his house for money, which makes me wonder whether these women do not have any sense of danger. If he kills her, you blame men, instead of the stupid woman that followed a stranger home.

As a man, my biggest fear are other men. I won't folow a stranger home, or expect them to care for me more than I should care about myself. I ask, is life so good for women that many dont have a sense of danger? I'm not a woman, so I'll never know.

I hope the day comes where men will not deceive women for sex, but until then, it is your responsibility to take necessary precaution. Just as you pray for journey mercies, you still wear seatbelt. Or look left and right before crossing the road.

The first chain of defense to prevent danger lies with you, which is taking precautionary measures. A thief can only steal something he can see, but if you hide it in the bank, you have prevented theft.

If you do not take necessary measures, why should someone else? You want others to care about you more than you should care about yourself? Wake up please, the world is not an utopia, it's filled with evil.

pansophist:


Yes, money is the cheapest thing anyone can have. Although a man should have money, it should not be the only thing. Character is one, virtue is another. Ambition also, to be ridiculously smart, intellectually vast, eloquent in speech, as in the content of your speech should just awe your listeners, and oh, be confident too, look good, I mean to be fit and look proportionally muscular.

have a goal that fuels you, be there for your family because she will notice it and knows what's in for her if you commit to her, be strong in your spirit and soul, and have the ability to be wicked. As in, being able to fork people up big time if they cross your redline, doesn't mean you are bad, it means you are a good person, otherwise, how can you protect yourself and her? Even Jesus that loves you will send you to hellfire if you mess up, how much more me, a human wey no fit love you like Jesus?

You see, none of the things above have to do with money, it takes investment in oneself to reach this height of personal sophistication. Also, women are way smarter than men give them credit for. Just like men will fork a foolish woman that is not virtuous, after all, what can she offer apart from sex? it's the same for women. A woman will chop a man's money if money is the only thing he can offer. But you see that strong man that has a good head on his shoulder, she will be loyal and be on her best behavior.

Men regulate women, and to make a woman (anyone actually) live uprightly and relate with you in truth, it must come from you first. Personally, I have never begged or forced a woman to treat me right, because when she sees how I conduct myself, she knows that I won't tolerate subpar treatment. A woman has to know that you chose, not settled for her, since it signifies your value. You must have options for women way better than her, so she knows the value of your commitment.

Treat her good, love her, make her feel safe and protected, respect her, provide for her, and be a man she can count on, but again, be capable of leaving her immediately she doesn't live up to her own responsibility. If she cheats, insults you, doesn't submit, argues with you like a lawyer, and just gives you the Kim Kardashian vibes, my guy, cut off. Unless she feeds you, then compromises. So be a good man, but refuse to be a pushover.

Charity begins at home, this is the true meaning of that statement. You a man are a leader, and if you lead well, women will follow. No one will follow a subpar leader, but a good one. So getting a good woman is actually an internal job, it starts first with you. Character is the main dish, but money is the topping. A man must have both.

RedpillAnalyst:
Dating is a form of prostitution if you thoroughly think about it how we do it.

Dating was considered prostitution and it was a jailable offence to entertain woman you were not married to.

Like I wrote early on one of my old posts

Free sex under the pretense of relationship or dating is the most expensive.

The Return On Investment on dating right now on a sub 200K per month salary is bad.

As banker who is perceived to be 'okay" he will be expected to come solid on birthday gifts, valentine, surprises.

Hanging out cost money, but fools and normies think they are holier than prostitutes or people who pay for prostitutes because they have never paid money directly.


Advantages of Prostitutes:

They are honest and they let you know they are for your money.
Respect your time.
You get premium play for your pay.
They won't cheat on you. Their commitment expires after service delivery.



Disadvantages of Girlfriends:

They are for your money and resources, but will swear that love don't cost a thing.

They Nag.

They Feel entitled to your valuable time.

They still have side dudes and sneaky links.

98% of the time you will not even meet them a virgin.( Not too different from 100% of prostitute that aren't)

She will leave you when better opportunity presents itself.(Just like prostitute will kick you out when a better customer comes knocking)

Dating these modern girls It is half step better than dating a prostitute... Instead of owning and personalizing just lease and move on with your life.

tensazangetsu20:
I have this friend who called me today telling me that he's done with dating. He just got a graduate trainee role at GT and he said going out on dates and getting to know women et al aren't looking funny on his finances that he's just gonna go visit prostitutes whenever he has the urge and since he's so busy at work or with work he's only gonna be able to go maybe once a week or once in two weeks and this got me thinking does it make sense to date as a Nigerian man?

Let's say you earn 150k a month. A typical outing in Lagos could set you back by at least 10k and that's just to meet and know each other and hang out. Now imagine doing that 3 times a week. These frivolous outings that guarantee nothing to you could pretty much be eating up all your salary if you aren't careful at all.

There are men that do get sex without spending or going on dates but these are like the top 1 percent of Nigerian men probably by looks or social status considering that the vast majority of Nigerian men are ugly (I inclusive) does dating make sense for a Nigerian man? Datings are just one part of it the extreme energy and time it takes to keep up a relationship is also something else entirely.

tensazangetsu20:
I have this friend who called me today telling me that he's done with dating. He just got a graduate trainee role at GT and he said going out on dates and getting to know women et al aren't looking funny on his finances that he's just gonna go visit prostitutes whenever he has the urge and since he's so busy at work or with work he's only gonna be able to go maybe once a week or once in two weeks and this got me thinking does it make sense to date as a Nigerian man?

Let's say you earn 150k a month. A typical outing in Lagos could set you back by at least 10k and that's just to meet and know each other and hang out. Now imagine doing that 3 times a week. These frivolous outings that guarantee nothing to you could pretty much be eating up all your salary if you aren't careful at all.

There are men that do get sex without spending or going on dates but these are like the top 1 percent of Nigerian men probably by looks or social status considering that the vast majority of Nigerian men are ugly (I inclusive) does dating make sense for a Nigerian man? Datings are just one part of it the extreme energy and time it takes to keep up a relationship is also something else entirely.

Magnoliaa:
He said he is ugly. That's...

Wo, lemme just keep quiet and read comments. I no get energy to contribute anything.

pansophist:


Yes, money is the cheapest thing anyone can have. Although a man should have money, it should not be the only thing. Character is one, virtue is another. Ambition also, to be ridiculously smart, intellectually vast, eloquent in speech, as in the content of your speech should just awe your listeners, and oh, be confident too, look good, I mean to be fit and look proportionally muscular.

have a goal that fuels you, be there for your family because she will notice it and knows what's in for her if you commit to her, be strong in your spirit and soul, and have the ability to be wicked. As in, being able to fork people up big time if they cross your redline, doesn't mean you are bad, it means you are a good person, otherwise, how can you protect yourself and her? Even Jesus that loves you will send you to hellfire if you mess up, how much more me, a human wey no fit love you like Jesus?

You see, none of the things above have to do with money, it takes investment in oneself to reach this height of personal sophistication. Also, women are way smarter than men give them credit for. Just like men will fork a foolish woman that is not virtuous, after all, what can she offer apart from sex? it's the same for women. A woman will chop a man's money if money is the only thing he can offer. But you see that strong man that has a good head on his shoulder, she will be loyal and be on her best behavior.

Men regulate women, and to make a woman (anyone actually) live uprightly and relate with you in truth, it must come from you first. Personally, I have never begged or forced a woman to treat me right, because when she sees how I conduct myself, she knows that I won't tolerate subpar treatment. A woman has to know that you chose, not settled for her, since it signifies your value. You must have options for women way better than her, so she knows the value of your commitment.

Treat her good, love her, make her feel safe and protected, respect her, provide for her, and be a man she can count on, but again, be capable of leaving her immediately she doesn't live up to her own responsibility. If she cheats, insults you, doesn't submit, argues with you like a lawyer, and just gives you the Kim Kardashian vibes, my guy, cut off. Unless she feeds you, then compromises. So be a good man, but refuse to be a pushover.

Charity begins at home, this is the true meaning of that statement. You a man are a leader, and if you lead well, women will follow. No one will follow a subpar leader, but a good one. So getting a good woman is actually an internal job, it starts first with you. Character is the main dish, but money is the topping. A man must have both.

You are kind of a very harsh person , always try and overlook some girly behaviours in women, it’s a natural trait. Same way a woman would easily forgive her cheating man. This your tit for tat approach to relationship isn’t a good one, you must learn to accept some flaws from a partner as no one is ever perfect.

PureFace1:



You are the wrong one here

It depend on personal standard and self respect not everyone will settle for less.

Not all women forgive their cheating men, some will file for divorce immediately they discover it.

If he wouldn't disrespect his woman for anything then why should he take any disrespect in the form of Insult, name calling etc from his woman ? if the woman apologize later and recognize her misbehavior then he can let it slide but if he just let it slide without sincere apology, it will just worsen the relationship later. If she can not keep her emotions in check without lashing out on her partner for no reason then maybe she should be in a psychiatric hospital not relationship.

pansophist:



E be like say you be apprentice, you de learn work

To see a woman that takes accountability for anything scarce like snow in Kaduna. And if you meet one, wife her up, no waste time.

Na why I no answer her, because na waste of time. But your response was good. I mean I won't treat a woman bad, I'll meet my own end of the bargain 100%, she probably won't accept subpar treatment from me.

But want me to accept it from her, because, guess what? She is a woman. She wants to be treated as an adult and a child at the same time.

Just let them talk, they'll tell you everything you need to know if you should take her serious. I greet you comrade.

Kipaji:


Once again, I understand what you wrote here pansophist. I was not defending women, my entire focus was on the man. The question matters because it can be helpful to inquire about the why behind our actions. To be clearer, here's what I was asking:
"If a man does not want to go long term/serious with a woman, why would he date her? Most likely just for sex. But is that beneficial to him? Is faking a relationship/love helpful to a man? For example, is it wise for a 20-something young man to entertain girls even though he only sees them as things to screw and doesn't want anything long term? Does being stuck in a relationship just because he wanted sex and thus being unfulfilled makes him win in life? Does that help him? Does it make his life better?
Whether the woman on the other side is clueless or gets manipulated is not considered here as we focus on what's beneficial to the man only in this inquiry."
Do you understand what I meant now?