Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child - Family (15)

Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child - Family (15) - Nairaland

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Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by wirinet(m): 7:10am On Sep 30, 2022

Sweetplum:
It's not easy to get who ll raise kids. 3 kids for that matter. The solution depends on if the wife is really sorry for her deeds and is ready to make the marriage work for better again. If the wife's changed for good, make d man collect her back. A known devil is better than a new Angel

You have failed to suggest who will be responsible for the illegitimate child.

1 Like

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by zedegit: 7:10am On Sep 30, 2022

Johnnyjohnnyman:
But I am not yul neither a cheater , we have been married for 10 years and I have never cheated on her not even in my dreams. I forgave her for cheating on me and we gets back together without me knowing that she was pregnant if I knew she was carrying another man child I would have never accepted her in the first place.

Children in broken homes don't usually turn out fine. Forgive for the sake of your children.

Most of those advising you to kick her out are not married.

1 Like

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by OkoAnike(m): 7:13am On Sep 30, 2022

obiekunie01:
DNA on your other kids and you will be surprised.

Please don't do this, your sanity is important.. ok

1 Like

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by sanya4good(m): 7:14am On Sep 30, 2022

OP if I were in your shoes I would not seek for divorce or another separation for the sake of my 3 children. I will let my wife and her family know about my discovery and inform them that since she can not send the little child to her real father at this young age the following are my decisions:
1. That the child will not bear my family name but her real father's family name
2. I will in no way be responsible for her schooling and other financial issues
3. when she is of age and ready to enter secondary school she will be sent to her real father.

My one penny.

1 Like

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by wirinet(m): 7:15am On Sep 30, 2022

zedegit:
Children in broken homes don't usually turn out fine. Forgive for the sake of your children.

Most of those advising you to kick her out are not married.

The house is already broken. The baby belongs to another family. Abi, you expect the mans family to accept another man's child into their clan?

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by jumper524(m): 7:19am On Sep 30, 2022

braine:
Please don't say this. He will regret it.

What happens when the real father who is alive and well comes for the child? A child that looks like the biological father that everyone knows?? Come on bro.

The best he can do is to cover up her secret from coming out to the public by quietly ending things and letting her go quietly. This is also to keep the parent relationship because of the other children.

That marriage must not continue.

OK the Nigeria law recognizes a functional father to a biological father who had sex with another married woman. Even criminal code detest it.

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by jumper524(m): 7:20am On Sep 30, 2022

jimmychang:
You are very dumb my guy.Anytime he sees that child he will never be okay in this life.You think it is something he can just wave.Become a better father,how better do you want him to be.He never cheated on her.You are telling him to accept the child .She na you wan train am.

I just pity that child if he decides to train her.She will suffer on God.

not about being dumb bro. It's ego. We all love children, they don't need to be our biological children to be taken care of.

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Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Nobody: 7:24am On Sep 30, 2022

What of the other children? Did you assume they are yours

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by gbadexy(m): 7:25am On Sep 30, 2022

You were apparently right to confide in your sister and had reason that made you do so, it's unfortunate your own sister betrayed you.
Keep us updated on your decision.

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Tonytonex(m): 7:25am On Sep 30, 2022

Johnnyjohnnyman:
She can't return her to her father because she is only 1 year 3 months and she is still nursing her.
I can't never separate the innocent child from her mother to save my marriage. I would prefer that she leaves with the child and continue to take care of her outside of my house.

you can forgive her. How is she going to cope? Do she have money to take care of herself? Nobody is perfect in this life. Mistakes are bound to happen. Know this and know peace. Sometimes, you temper justice with mercy. In this situation, decide with your head and not with your emotions.

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by tunize(m): 7:25am On Sep 30, 2022

Starz825:
I understand you...
Anything you say against her is right....

But you need to also consider the fact that it happened when they separated..not when they were together....
It's a factor....body no be firewood ooo...

During separation .. anything can happen...

Everything no be violence ooo...
They can solve it..

In a nutshell this is enough reason for her to cheat right? Quoted by you "body nor be fire wood" not just sleeping with her colleague also having a child for him bros learn to saperate your truth from fact.
Woman nor dey blow who dem nor like ooooh the only set of women that can sleep with anybody nah street girl unto hustle for raba so bro I put it to you that his wife has been having an affair with the colleague even before she saperated from her husband.
I only wish for God's will and wisdom for the O.p to handle the situation

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Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by ImoleNaija: 7:26am On Sep 30, 2022

Aijeez:
What of the other children? Did you assume they are yours

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Maynman: 7:26am On Sep 30, 2022

jumper524:
not about being dumb bro. It's ego. We all love children, they don't need to be our biological children to be taken care of.

A painter will love his painting more than another painter’s work, the same goes for men, they’ll love their OWN children, look at the animal world, especially lions, when they are king of a new pride they kill other lion’s offspring.

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by kingBolton: 7:27am On Sep 30, 2022

How can you be cheating as a married woman without any form of contraceptives?

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Johnnyjohnnyman(op): 7:28am On Sep 30, 2022

sanya4good:
OP if I were in your shoes I would not seek for divorce or another separation for the sake of my 3 children. I will let my wife and her family know about my discovery and inform them that since she can not send the little child to her real father at this young age the following are my decisions:
1. That the child will not bear my family name but her real father's family name
2. I will in no way be responsible for her schooling and other financial issues
3. when she is of age and ready to enter secondary school she will be sent to her real father.

My one penny.

Sorry bro I don't think that's a good idea , why would you punish a innocent child for her mother sin? Don't you think letting her to go would be better than allowing her stay for you not to treat the child equally because the child will grow to know that her step father had never liked her it will affect her badly. If I choose to forgive and accept the child I will continue to be taking care of her just like I am doing now until the day she will leave my house. I will not treat her any different. Unfortunately I can't for my own sanity both mother and child must go

11 Likes

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by kingBolton: 7:30am On Sep 30, 2022

Starz825:
I understand you...
Anything you say against her is right....

But you need to also consider the fact that it happened when they separated..not when they were together....
It's a factor....body no be firewood ooo...

During separation .. anything can happen...

Everything no be violence ooo...
They can solve it..

And she couldn't use any form of protection knowing that she was still married?

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Realguyman1(m): 7:31am On Sep 30, 2022

Sweetplum:
The father kwa.

See talk.... He should return the little baby to the father. Where on earth have you seen a little child been place under the care of the father when the mother is well alive? U are saying He should return the child to the father as if the woman is not the mother of the child, or she only picked the child from the father to help him take care of the child.

That aspect of ur comment "return the child to the father" sound somehow to me.

By the way, there is nothing left in that marriage anymore because u can see where the op stated it clearly that the wife started the problems they are now just because his sister scammed him.

How will a woman pick a fight with her husband only to go outside and get pregnant for another man? And I know this will not be her first time cheating.

1 Like

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by TANID(m): 7:32am On Sep 30, 2022

Johnnyjohnnyman:
I paid 130k

thanks

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by efikoefiko(m): 7:32am On Sep 30, 2022

It’s time for you to file for a divorce. Trust me she will still cheat on or she still cheating and will continue cheating. Make sure your carry out the DNA test on all your other kids.

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Adamsabobo(m): 7:35am On Sep 30, 2022

Women,hmmmm

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Tonytonex(m): 7:37am On Sep 30, 2022

kingBolton:
How can you be cheating as a married woman without any form of contraceptives?

Majority of this gender no get Sense na grin

3 Likes

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Temmylee01(m): 7:39am On Sep 30, 2022

Sweetplum:
So bad. While we v bad women, we also v the good ones.
May God heal you sir.
Meanwhile, have you ran DNA test on the other kids? If they are yours then I suggest you tell her to return the child to the owner.
I can't take such thing if I m a man.
Try and see if the relationship can work after she returned the child. If it can't work, separate. A broken heart can heal. A damaged home can't heal. Consider your children's upbringing/welfare before making a final decision. You v 3 legitimate kids and 1 illegitimate kid.
If you buy four shoes and one of them isn't your size, will you return the 4 shoes or only the one that's not your size?
Seek marriage counselors if you can't bear it alone or spiritual father/mother and the relation of you and your wife if necessary cos this matter no suppose reach public at all. You ll get more crazy advice like you are getting on Nairaland.
It's well with you.
Link to the previous thread of the op
https://www.nairaland.com/7252543/unsure-father-fourth-child

you be werey

1 Like

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Nobody: 7:40am On Sep 30, 2022

Temmylee01:
you be werey

You be asinwin

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Temmylee01(m): 7:41am On Sep 30, 2022

Sweetplum:
You be asinwin

you be mumu

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Tonytonex(m): 7:43am On Sep 30, 2022

[right][/right]

Temmylee01:
you be werey

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Nobody: 7:43am On Sep 30, 2022

Realguyman1:
See talk.... He should return the little baby to the father. Where on earth have you seen a little child been place under the care of the father when the mother is well alive? U are saying He should return the child to the father as if the woman is not the mother of the child, or she only picked the child from the father to help him take care of the child.

That aspect of ur comment "return the child to the father" sound somehow to me.

By the way, there is nothing left in that marriage anymore because u can see where the op stated it clearly that the wife started the problems they are now just because his sister scammed him.

How will a woman pick a fight with her husband only to go outside and get pregnant for another man? And I know this will not be her first time cheating.

He has an option. To either keep the child or return her. I stated it in my post. The reality here is most of you guys are saying he should annul the marriage as if you all v gotten him a wife that's perfect. And you men Tok dey get children out of wedlock o. Wey wife no go know. Now life has happened. We v to face reality and choose wisely

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Dextre(m): 7:44am On Sep 30, 2022

Sweetplum:
Bad decision. Who ll take care of your other kids?
Broken home is one of the major causes of BD kids behaviour out there.
Return the child. Ask if she ll still be with you. Count your loss and appreciate the remaining.

Ask if she’ll still be with you? For what? Broken marriage dey kill?. Is marriage a do or die affair in this country ni

2 Likes

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by Nobody: 7:46am On Sep 30, 2022

wirinet:
You have failed to suggest who will be responsible for the illegitimate child.

Anyone who can raise her. If the original father is notified of his crime and he wished to take the child, let him have it. If the husband of the mother or the mother want to raise her, let them have her. Infact, the best people to raise her are the mother and her husband. This is to spite the father.

Re: Unfortunately I Am Not The Father Of My Fourth Child by wirinet(m): 7:46am On Sep 30, 2022

Johnnyjohnnyman:
Sorry bro I don't think that's a good idea , why would you punish a innocent child for her mother sin? Don't you think letting her to go would be better than allowing her stay for you not to treat the child equally because the child will grow to know that her step father had never liked her it will affect her badly. If I choose to forgive and accept the child I will continue to be taking care of her just like I am doing now until the day she will leave my house. I will not treat her any different. Unfortunately I can't for my own sanity both mother and child must go

Bullshit. Punishing which child? Is it him that is punishing the child or the father who takes no responsibility for the reward enjoying repeated orgasm on your wife.
You people seem to forget different cultures for different cults. That's why I love the Islamic world or even ancient Jews, they would have since ostracised the adulterous woman. Some south American cultures kill an adulterous woman by pushing a big pole into her private part until it punctures her stomach.

Maybe it acceptable in Anglo-American culture which you guys seem to subscribe 100%, but its not acceptable in many other cultures.