Ebenman:


This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education.

Point of correction there is no relationship between earnings and education. Thank you.

okoroemeka:
I will bet my fresh pot of egusi soup that the lady is not a virgin,believe that you can believe anything,after secondary school 70% of girls are no longer virgins,after higher institution the figure is 95.5%,infact any girl that still remains a virgin after 5-6 years in Nigeria university has factory fault in her pussy.

Hey, I always read and pass because I try to avoid drama at all cost. Moreover, I'm a very busy person but I'm here to debunk your statement which is totally untrue.
How did you come to a conclusion that those that finished university over 5years ago can no longer be virgin and if they are they have factory fault in her p*****.
Stop generalizing, it doesn't work that way. They are alot decent ladies out there who are still virgins even after the years you mentioned and there is nothing wrong with them.
I finished university four years ago and I choose to keep myself and there's actually nothing wrong with me. I'm not marketing myself neither will I stoop so low to do something like that. I got standards too, so pick what works for you ,get your facts and figures right before you generalize. If I tell you all men are scum or all men are rapist, how will you feel? Words build, words Mar, please use them carefully . Thank you.

Ebenman:
I have received a lot of bashing.

I guess I didn't really explain the situation well, so a lot of people didn't really get my points.

This lady in particular mum is late. Her dad is battling with stroke.

I stay in a 3-bedroom flat as a bachelor in a high-income area while she, her dad, and 3 other siblings stay in a room and parlor in a low-income area. I fear that one day her family will tell her sis and bro to come and start staying with us if we end up together since they will feel we live in a 3-bedroom flat.

More so, her yearly income is always not up to my monthly income.

She is not the First Lady to show interest in me. I asked her why is she interested in me, and she said that I don't drink, smoke, gamble, or womanize. I am always focused.

In essence, I am also a standard.

You have your doubt and worries already on your palm.

If you don't see her as your Queen, let her go..

You don't manage a partner in marriage.You marry who you wake up every morning, smile and Thank God.

Happy searching bro.

Lastly, remember life can flip in seconds. E dey happen steady.

Dear Op, marriage itself is a risk. This is a perfect case with my closest friend. All d picture u painted above were similar. In his case, d guy (a graduate n financial stable) lowered his standard to even marry a sec sch drop out from a poor home. D girl later showed him pepper.His Inlaw turned him to a cash-cow. As I type this, he is separated from his wife.

But note, everybody can't be same. It didn't work for him don't mean it won't work for u. Just follow ur heart

If you really have standard,how did you get to the level where a lower level get so close to you to the extent of thinking of marrying you?
You really don't know your taste as claimed guy!

PhantomThief:
NEVER LOWER YOUR STANDARD FOR ANY WOMAN
But you can keep dating her till you meet the real LOYL and then dump her because this woman will do the same thing to you if they found a better option than you without any form of regret. Never date or marry someone that will become a liability to you. It is that simple.

For the part where you said she is a virgin. All I have to say is LOL!!!!! Don't fall for that scam

Facts

Montaque:
The sum of all marriage is compromise. From the beginning of it to the end of it, you must compromise, withdraw or let go of some of your standards. The issue is if what you are forgoing is fundamental to the existence of the marriage itself - like genotype, religion, upbringing or temperament. There are other fundamental issues tho.

In your case,
1. That she comes from a poor home may not be an issue. Almost every person who is rich today wasn't born with a silver spoon. What can compensate for it is whether the girl thinks profitably, not being poor and comfortable with poverty. Is she good with making money? Can she survive with you? Has she suffered poverty enough to hate it with all she's got? If she is a hustler, go fo her, the rich kids may even discourage your enterprise because she has a backup.

2. Education. My brother, these days I don't rate education that much because it sometimes make people dull and regimented especially those who carry certificate on their head like it's the sum of their being. Most uneducated women are doing well in other ventures. Does she look like someone who can make money unofficially? Salary isn't also the glory now like it used to be. Infact when you start giving birth with her, you will appreciate an unofficial business woman to a corporate wife.

3. Poor background. Read again what I said earlier. You fear her siblings will depend on you. It's a normal apprehension. But you can draw lines starting from now on how you want your marriage to be. Mind you, your in-laws are family and you can't run away from them. But you can draw boundaries they won't cross, as long as you carry your wife along on this. To even shock you, the rich homes have the most burdensome inlaws. They will camp at your home providing food for your but controlling your affairs. The poor ones will thank you for removing one extra load and will leave you so as not to be an extra burden. I am speaking from personal experience here

Beauty. This may be a fundamental issue depending on how you see it. What I mean is if you put a high price on beauty that on intellect and "bedroom beauty". Yes, there is bedroom beauty and their is social beauty. You see a man glorify his wife so much but the woman is not attractive to you outside. When she undresses, is she beautiful? Some people get beautiful as they age. Height can be compensated with yours, in your kids. But if her beauty will be a problem to you in future, in thinking you made a mistake, that is a serious issue.

Go and marry her na.
Mumu

Juliearth:







There is no point leading a lady on when deep down you know she doesn't fit in. Are you sure she acts this way towards you because she genuinely cares for you or because she sees you as a means to an end

Secondly, when men use virgin as a criteria to judge women i laugh..your wicked mothers,mother in laws, sisters and wives were once virgins abi? That same girl you think is humble will humble you at the long run when is sees an opportunity.

Stick to your standard and regret than reducing your standard and still regret.

Why is it so hard to get a perfect person as a life partner at this current time?

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

I gave somebody this advice yesterday and I will still repeat same to you.
By the time she meets a guy who will value her and love
her genuinely while you are about changing your mind, it will be too late for you. Talking from experience, most relationships and marriage initiated by women are usually the best. When a woman loves you first before you love her, count yourself very lucky. If you give her a shot I'm sure you will fall in love soon and wont be able to imagine losing her. As the saying goes, marry the person that loves you, not the
person you love. Know this and know peace.

Simple, further her education after marrying her and build her however u want

kernniejay:

I gave somebody this advice yesterday and I will still repeat same to you.
By the time she meets a guy who will value her and love
her genuinely while you are about changing your mind, it will be too late for you. Talking from experience, most relationships and marriage initiated by women are usually the best. When a woman loves you first before you love her, count yourself very lucky. If you give her a shot I'm sure you will fall in love soon and wont be able to imagine losing her. As the saying goes, marry the person that loves you, not the
person you love. Know this and know peace.

Are you saying you can get married to someone you don't love?

JJuanMiguel:

Are you saying you can get married to someone you don't love?

You can give that person a chance for a relationship. Love grows. I know what I'm saying.

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

You spoke like an entitled and autocratic person but I won't judge you that way because, you are on the right track as to what you want.

It is important to marry a lady of the description you listed you want. It helps ease the tension in man. However, there is something I see that is very expensive and cheap at the same time. (peace of mind). Brother, anything that gives you peace of mind is the best for you no matter how cheap or costly it is. If this girl gives you peace of mind, '' kidnap' her from her family and mould her to your taste and standard. People make people, everybody came here with nothing. So you can make her if she has the potential. However, if you see any traces of leaching or lack of enthusiasm, growth and productivity in her, RUN.

Ebenman:
I guess I didn't really explain the situation well, so a lot of people didn't really get my points.

This lady in particular mum is late. Her dad is battling with stroke.

I stay in a 3-bedroom flat as a bachelor in a high-income area while she, her dad, and 3 other siblings stay in a room and parlor in a low-income area. I fear that one day her family will tell her sis and bro to come and start staying with us if we end up together since they will feel we live in a 3-bedroom flat.

More so, her yearly income is always not up to my monthly income.

She is not the First Lady to show interest in me. I asked her why is she interested in me, and she said that I don't drink, smoke, gamble, or womanize. I am always focused.

In essence, I am also a standard.

Guy, remove your head from that relationship. She will be a very good friend, not likely to be a good life partner.

Just pray over it,she could be blessing in disguise, some people are like diamond in the mud,standard or no standard if you loose her you might see her later looking amazing and you would wish you had not abandon her

Ebenman:
This is precisely why I was talking about standard.

Baba harden up, no marry out of pity, by the time you own 100% of expenses and realise it's not even enough for her(it's always not enough) the little beauty you see in her will disappear completely.

Never lower your standard instead upgrade it

Yeah

Op pretend to loose your job and you're broke and see her reaction. Then you'll know if it your money that is attracting her or otherwise

satandeterrible:

Rantings of a frustrated prostitute.
The man has every right to set and stick to his standards.
If e pain you, go hug transformer.

You're more terrible than Satan. Satan is wise and cunny but you have been depleted of anything called common sense.

Did you say prostitute? Allow me to rant my rant - Your mother wey spread her smelly toto as dem dey hammer com birth you, a bastard, is a prostitute! Her mother before her, is a prostitute. Your sisters, aunts, sisters-in-law, nieces and cousins join are all prostitutes! Omo ale jatijati!

Ebenman:
We are both AA


Updated: I have received a lot of bashing.

I guess I didn't really explain the situation well, so a lot of people didn't really get my points.

This lady in particular mum is late. Her dad is battling with stroke.

I stay in a 3-bedroom flat as a bachelor in a high-income area while she, her dad, and 3 other siblings stay in a room and parlor in a low-income area. I fear that one day her family will tell her sis and bro to come and start staying with us if we end up together since they will feel we live in a 3-bedroom flat.

More so, her yearly income is always not up to my monthly income.

She is not the First Lady to show interest in me. I asked her why is she interested in me, and she said that I don't drink, smoke, gamble, or womanize. I am always focused.

In essence, I am also a standard.

First, Narscistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a treatable mental disease, even though many people don't know that! You may consider to seek help if you don't mind. You can easily pass your message without over magnifying your status.

Secondly, what's this thing with standard and marriage? Who set the rules? Perhap you should reconsider your conversation with your friends and closer relatives.

The question should be on character and interest for personal growth and self development. If she is ready for all that, go ahead and shoot the shot!

fyzaila:
Op pretend to loose your job and you're broke and see her reaction. Then you'll know if it your money that is attracting her or otherwise

N keep this up for a year. Then you will see

Y8

Ebenman:
We are both AA


Updated: I have received a lot of bashing.

I guess I didn't really explain the situation well, so a lot of people didn't really get my points.

This lady in particular mum is late. Her dad is battling with stroke.

I stay in a 3-bedroom flat as a bachelor in a high-income area while she, her dad, and 3 other siblings stay in a room and parlor in a low-income area. I fear that one day her family will tell her sis and bro to come and start staying with us if we end up together since they will feel we live in a 3-bedroom flat.

More so, her yearly income is always not up to my monthly income.

She is not the First Lady to show interest in me. I asked her why is she interested in me, and she said that I don't drink, smoke, gamble, or womanize. I am always focused.

In essence, I am also a standard.

Pride goes before destruction. You think having more financial advantage will give you a stable relationship?
You don't deserve that girl. A lady that is hardworking and made money on her own without selling her dignity in this present Nigeria is an asset. Go and marry those spec u had wanted to marry.

I see you regretting this.

VladimirPutiin:


What is a good girl to you ?

I guess you can marry a retired whoore that has fvcked your friends and cousins before all because she has changed and become a good girl lool

Yes I can.

generalwo:
.... Ogun kee your pa.... Fool..... If he feels his class is too high for the girl, then he should leave her for someone who appreciates her the way she is and will build her to a point where he wants her to be... Not coming here to seek validation from people as if na we wan join marry or date the girl... Na all these kind men go marry such women finish, dey taunt them for house because she no be Graduate....... Mugu...... If you feel your standard is too much for a particular person, you have 2 choices.... Build her to the standard you want or go for someone that's your standard..... It's as simple as that..... Sorry to say this again but ogun kee u and the op too

werey ,na your papa ogun go kill since you no fit talk the nonsense wey you wan talk without insult. Otondo

Bossmanmoves:


Yes I can.

Lool Goodluck bro

waititi:
werey ,na your papa ogun go kill since you no fit talk the nonsense wey you wan talk without insult. Otondo

..... Foolish pikin... Make thunder split your abdomen into 1024 pieces..... U first insult... Them insult you back u Wan die..... Make werin you nor know kill you..... Ozwine

Wealthyonos:
Even your English shows you're not educated. My advice is, 'go back to school'.���

There's no point insulting OP, is is there a problem asking for advice or candid opinion.

Wealthyonos:
Even your English shows you're not educated. My advice is, 'go back to school'.���

And what’s wrong with his English? Or u just want to show yourself? Even those who liked your comment should be as dumb as u are because they actually didn’t read through what he wrote to ascertain if u are right or not. Or maybe they cannot actually comprehend simple English. U are the one who needs to go back to school if u find what that dude wrote there grammatically defaulting.

generalwo:
..... Foolish pikin... Make thunder split your abdomen into 1024 pieces..... U first insult... Them insult you back u Wan die..... Make werin you nor know kill you..... Ozwine

mumu . I sha Know say your sense no dey work. infinite idiot

Ebenman:
We are both AA


Updated: I have received a lot of bashing.

I guess I didn't really explain the situation well, so a lot of people didn't really get my points.

This lady in particular mum is late. Her dad is battling with stroke.

I stay in a 3-bedroom flat as a bachelor in a high-income area while she, her dad, and 3 other siblings stay in a room and parlor in a low-income area. I fear that one day her family will tell her sis and bro to come and start staying with us if we end up together since they will feel we live in a 3-bedroom flat.

More so, her yearly income is always not up to my monthly income.

She is not the First Lady to show interest in me. I asked her why is she interested in me, and she said that I don't drink, smoke, gamble, or womanize. I am always focused.

In essence, I am also a standard.

Just be true to urself bro. U don't sound like she means anything to u and u have already made it obvious but she seems to be hell bent on having u. It's a dangerous game. When it gets worse she will start blocking all ur chances of ever dating the girls u like. Just let sit her down and let her know why u both can't and won't work before it gets ugly

The best thing you could do, is ensure you don't take the virginity of a girl you never planned to marry.

Also find a way to apologise for your words towards her. Make sure she knows she is valuable, but that this dating thing comes with feelings and find another way of letting her know that though she is valuable, you don't have those feelings.

I repeat, the best thing you could do for a virgin you don't love and won't marry, is not to touch her.