₦airaland Forum

Medianna:
But she never said she was the bread winner ahh!

Read again

Persephone1:
Where was it stated that the man 'collide' with an outsider? I've read all manner of words to qualify this man's action on this thread, one typed he "scammed" the wife and I wonder if you all will use these words if the case was reversed. He withheld the money, true but that doesn't serve as scam or "colliding" when it comes to couples living together. Biko, let's learn not to treat partners as strangers because of their flaws or single errors especially when they are of opposite gender. Women do these things too but you don't see their husbands calling them all sorts of names.

Na person wey bring her issue here I blame.

The woman checked her husband's phone and realised 200K has been sent to her husband, from the person she bought the land from.
Definitely, the husband was colluding with the person selling the land to swindle/ overinflate the price for his wife.
I won't be surprised she saw more on the phone about the transaction between husband and the person who sold the land, and she hasn't just mentioned it all.
While I think this matter can still be resolved and shouldn't lead to divorce, we can't absolve the husband and say its the wife's fault
For her father to support her not going back, there is likely more to the story that the OP has not fully disclosed either from shame or disappointment
Women doing it too doesn't make it right, and it's equally as disgusting btw.
I would really like to hear her dad's reason for asking her not to go back

You should have done as if you never saw the 200k and register it at the back of your mind that you can never trust him with money or anything at all.

What I don't get is why a man that has house projects ( I am assuming that's 2 houses or more) would want to scheme 200k out of you, why would he want to make a profit over that transaction what exactly was the motive?

The act was wrong but you should have handled it better, there are ways of dealing with issues like this.

You do have a right to be angry/ hurt don't let some people make you think you are crazy.

I would say forgive him and move back but trust has been broken and watch your back,

Rexymania:
Read again

I still can't see it..
Please help me with the phrase!

Medianna:
But she never said she was the bread winner ahh!

I also didn't say she was

Rexymania:
I also didn't say she was

Since she is the bread winner,
Her marrying someone she's richer than is not a crime na.
Even if a woman is a breadwinner is still not a sin.

Medianna:
Since she is the bread winner,
Her marrying someone she's richer than is not a crime na.
Even if a woman is a breadwinner is still not a sin.

Alright dear �

@missimelda01
Marriage counselor isonu

All you did was blame her and saw nothing wrong in what her husband did. Did you provide a reasonable solution? No

You can give your opinion but stop deceiving yourself by saying you're a marriage counselor.

@me
My friend read carefully and comprehend well. By the grace of God I'm a senior pastor of one of the largest churches in this nation. I handle regularly very complex marital issues.

Lekan239:
how do men usually end up with women like this. You end marriage bcus of this little thing. Through ur story I can see you are well to do than your husband. Money na bastard o. If that man is loaded you won't be behaving like this

Thank God for the peace in my home o

modern generation. He even allow you buy land. Na wah oo.

Registeredguest:
.

Imagine it was your young child that did this to you, will you disown him/her, will you forever not forgive him?

As teenagers, we tend to do similar things like this back in school. Overcharged for money needed. Hence the popular "Collecting money for 4 items: 'Di, tion, na, ry' instead of single item 'Dictionary.' "

It is normal to be hurt, but since the cause of the issue is not an extra-marital affair or domestic violence, you guys can work things out. The first step is to be staying at his place every weekend, then let's see how it goes from there.

Romanoff:
She is not toxic. Her concerns are valid and no two human is the same.

Just cause it will be easy for you to forgive such dishonesty doesn't mean it will be easy for her.
With a husband that can scam you like that, who needs an enemy? A wife that has always supported you and is equally hardworking. What is in common 200k that he still had to scam her for?

They sha both need counselling to get past this, it won't be easy but it's doable.

That trust has been broken already so after this, going forward, please, have your own savings as you contribute to the home and family projects and keep receipts.

Next land or property you'll buy, inform him about it, carry him along but source for your own agent yourself to avoid situations like this.

The trust can't be the same again sha, but na to dey manage the situation and to avoid such in the future.

Thank you. The way some people give advice in this forum is terrible. How can your partner defraud you and expect you to over look?
Imageing my wife doing such with me, nau to divorce her straight up

How can you connive with an outsider to defraud your partner?
The husband has bridge the principle of marriage already.

That means he is capable of getting her kidnap and ask for money.

I'm sorry to say. But the husband is a very greedy man.

Owopariola001:
Imagine it was your young child that did this to you, will you disown him/her, will you forever not forgive him?

As teenagers, we tend to do similar things like this back in school. Overcharged for money needed. Hence the popular "Collecting money for 4 items: 'Di, tion, na, ry' instead of single item 'Dictionary.' "

It is normal to be hurt, but since the cause of the issue is not an extra-marital affair or domestic violence, you guys can work things out. The first step is to be staying at his place every weekend, then let's see how it goes from there.

It's one thing to inflate price for your partner, it's another thing to take your partners money it's a different ball game entirely when your partner connives with an outsider to scheme money out of you. Someone like that can plan for you.

Don't compare this with inflating price of books to parents, it's the same dishonesty but different levels.

Babe, it is going to be hard. But go back you can still work things out. Only that you might not trust him with finances again.

He is just being greedy

Ovieemmanuel:
modern generation. He even allow you buy land. Na wah oo.

Is there a problem with that? nlfpmod

Rozross:
You readily forgive those you love without a doubting spirit. You are kind of toxic, even me that like trouble dont know how to keep grudges, before the next day as e long reach, i've forgotten that we even had issues. Marriage isnt relationship, learn to accept your partner's flaws and weaknesses and forgive them each time their weaknesses is taking it's toll on them. This one isn't even a big issue sef, its you who has been complicating things. He's sorry and begging you for forgiveness and you still dont want to forgive him, what else do you want? His head? Abeg work on your unforgiven spirit.

Who is this?

What have you done to Rozross?

Nice one dear. I could not have said it any better

Righteousness2:
My Sister, you have a right to be angry. Yes your husband has offended you.

But because of the Blood JESUS Christ shed on the cross of Calvary for your sins and my sins, Despite all our evil and wicked lives, Forgive him. Forget about the past.

You both should together go before GOD in Prayers. Forgive yourself and Build your Home on GOD and GOD'S Principles for the Home.

I Pray for you, the Peace of GOD that passed all human Understanding take over your life and your Home in JESUS Name.

How are u sure she is a christian?

Cutehector:
If you cannot forgive him and you also want a father figure, what do you want nairalanders to tell you now?

Pls seek professional advice from Pst K.

I wonder o. She has taken her decision by saying she can't forgive him

Just 2hk u dey hear dey tell every body well no be u fault,we no say u get money pass ur husband madam cash out

Hmm! You don't forgive, this one tough oo

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

lol
You are a very toxic Human being with a lot of grammatical errors in your write-up. Let me talk to you about the way things are. I wouldn't say you were young when you got married but you were immature and were never ripe for marriage. Only one person in a marriage can not decide to do things all by themselves. He has money and wanted both of you to buy land which was normal for every married couple, you chose to tell him face-to-face how rich you were and how you could afford it. If I may ask, why would you buy land with your personal name knowing fully you are married? because you know you are very toxic, demanding and irresponsible. you knew you could run off any moment just like you did.

Anyways, Your Husband did a simple business transaction with you, the land was 600k, and you paid, since you don't care about your so-called family, he made a profit from the sales and kept it to himself, yes why on earth should he then tell you since you want to be an island and do not want him to partake in your life, he has no obligation to tell you he made profits too, as it does not concern you any more.

Do unto others what you can do to yourself. There is a reason why Marriage is called Communion. That Union, in the end, is what is needed. It's like your husband suddenly comes back home and decides to relocate to a new city without informing you, or either informing you but decides that it must be a bush because that is what he can afford.

That guy is crazy for him to beg you to stay back. Please run away with your toxic, and controlling life, do not endanger this young man, he deserves better.

God abeg. I no want this kind of wife in my life ooo. Thank You Father for You always answer me. Madam continue, thumbs up.

That same 200k he will still use it to fend for u. Smh.

Registeredguest:
please I need your help and the best advice on this pressing issue of mine.

You've made the right decision. Pls don't go back, u can be the father and the mother together. At least, God has also blessed you to be able to rent an apartment and take care of yourself and babies. And your dad is the best for even supporting u not to go back to the husband that betrayed you but apologised. Your dad may marry you, or get one of his friend to marry u. And it's even good for you to be sending money to ur dad. No need to forgive ur husband, there are thousands of men out there who are angels and ready to marry a single mother with two children. At least, u're not proud, and have never offended anybody bf. More so, ur husband has high records of physical assaults against u. Pls enjoy urself with Asake... Organize

So because of 200k you spoil ground.

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

You packed out of your own husband's house. You even support in your little way in building the house.
Me, I will not even call you let alone wanting you back.
Packing out actually means you are tired of the union hence your packing out.

And for your dad supporting you not to go back..
I laugh.
He will be the same person judging you later for leaving your home.

And for your husband he did unwise but that doesn't warrant your leaving your own home not even borrowed o.

My dear u are strong. However, two strength can make it seem better, it’s important u get angry and fume as much as u should but in my opinion I think u are over doing it right now.kindly find a way to forgive and move back to ur family, it is really important u do at the moment . God be with u as u brace up

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

if you like no forgive your husband, dey ask nonsense opinions, as your fada say make you no forgive am make your fada marry you na... Small thing you don park... Something you can talk and resolve, stop disturbing us

Until I hear the other side of the story, I have nothing to say for now.

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always wanted to marry early) on the second year of our marriage we were blessed with a baby, parked to our house and things were rosy. I have always been a workaholic due to that I have never lack as a young lady in terms of finance.

I have always helped him in his house projects, might not be much 100k, 50k, 20k when need be. I never siphoned my money to myself, as a young lady I envisioned my pretty little family on my head, (3 children, handsome husband and pretty wife with a fine car living happily)

Now to the main problem,I think it all started when he told me he has seen a genuine plot of land that we should buy it together, I told him no, I want the land all by myself I have money to pay for it, (just want to have something tangible for myself alone) he said no problem.He sent me an account number of the seller I sent 600k to the seller.we did the necessary documents and everyone was happy.

After some weeks, I decided to dig around his phone then I discovered that the account I sent the 600k to, refunded 200k back to my husband, woke him up instantly I demanded for an explanation.he story no make sense. I was heartbroken, for months I was hurt...the two families got involved and settled the issue.money I no see...

Ever since this issue happened,the home has not been peaceful, fighting everyday. I find it so difficult to forgive him. I insult him, he insults me, he broke my phone, I break his door...I was demanded for an apology he says
"I'm his wife, no be today man dey collect him wife money, he say woman go build house for him husband no ear no go hear" those things hurt me more... everyday was fight, I parked out,I went to my sister's place,he didn't call, he didn't reach out.

3 weeks after I parked I discovered I was pregnant,and informed him immediately through text.i stayed at my sister's place for 2 months no word from him... I decide to rent my own place,I rented a place and went to his house to park my remaining stuff,I meet him home,as soon as he sees I came with a truck to park my things he knelt down and started begging me...I was like,na today I commot for your house why now? He say he think say I dey play, he no think say I serious like this,for good two months you didn't say anything why now...with enough dragging I parked my things to my new rented apartment... since the day I park till now this man has not allowed me rest,his family members has been calling me to come back home, his dad came from the village to plead on his behalf.


My dad is insisting I should not go back...I'm now 6 months pregnant ,I need a father in my children's life.im finding it difficult to forgive him,I'm struggling within myself to forgive and trust this man again.

How can I let go of the past and move back with him...I decided to pay him a visit on Friday,he was happy I came,he did everything possible to show me he has changed but that feeling of betrayal and hurt is there.i left there this morning with querrell,I know I started the querrell,but I can't just seem to forgive him.please I need your help and advice on this pressing issue of mine.

No insult please, I have cried enough.

Formulated lies

This forum has turned to association of jokers