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25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad - Family (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamily25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad (32829 Views)

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Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Sheedeensen(m): 9:53am On Dec 13, 2022
You need to be bother but not too bothered.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by AKWATGOLD1(m): 9:55am On Dec 13, 2022
Hope this is not another unknown Sanwo-Olu in the making.
Prechgold1180:
Good evening house

Sorry to bore you with my issues


My mum and dad separated 24 years ago

Reason for separation
My only biological bro died from malaria
My dad was unable to come up with money for treatment

My mum moved out took me with her
She remarried 2 years after
Gave birth to 4 leaving me with 4 step sibling
Some years back I heard my mum saying my dad has other children ( I don’t even know them ) I don’t even know my dad

I am a graduate now

So comfortable in life
Got lands houses and cars to my name

My problem now is I feel empty whenever I think of my dad
More like I don’t know my root

I plan on visiting mums home for Christmas
The problem is she hates my dad so much
any thing about that topic gets her angry

I don’t know how to convince to go show me my dads house

I don’t know possible ways to get her to show me my dad hus

Don’t even know if my dad is good
Don’t even know his family
Don’t even know my village
Everything I call family is just from my mother side

Zero from my dad side
I wish I can know them
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by mabea: 10:00am On Dec 13, 2022
Prechgold1180:
Good evening house

Sorry to bore you with my issues


My mum and dad separated 24 years ago

Reason for separation
My only biological bro died from malaria
My dad was unable to come up with money for treatment

My mum moved out took me with her
She remarried 2 years after
Gave birth to 4 leaving me with 4 step sibling
Some years back I heard my mum saying my dad has other children ( I don’t even know them ) I don’t even know my dad

I am a graduate now

So comfortable in life
Got lands houses and cars to my name

My problem now is I feel empty whenever I think of my dad
More like I don’t know my root

I plan on visiting mums home for Christmas
The problem is she hates my dad so much
any thing about that topic gets her angry

I don’t know how to convince to go show me my dads house

I don’t know possible ways to get her to show me my dad hus

Don’t even know if my dad is good
Don’t even know his family
Don’t even know my village
Everything I call family is just from my mother side

Zero from my dad side
I wish I can know them
Sue your mum for denying you the right to know who your father is .
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by felibrain: 10:06am On Dec 13, 2022
Oops, similar case and same age but different tribe.
Prechgold1180:
Benin
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Bimbilla(m): 10:24am On Dec 13, 2022
The reason why some men don't bother to look for their children's is that they believe that no matter what you can not call somebody your father, so they don't care either you look for them or not
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Robenna(m): 10:25am On Dec 13, 2022
fman:
Maybe ur dad is a Nairalander
Check Jokes Section
Must you try to be funny
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Makanaki127: 10:29am On Dec 13, 2022
Pray make she carry you go meet tinubu or otedola say na him be your dad
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Ellasure: 10:32am On Dec 13, 2022
Prechgold1180:
Good evening house

Sorry to bore you with my issues


My mum and dad separated 24 years ago

Reason for separation
My only biological bro died from malaria
My dad was unable to come up with money for treatment

My mum moved out took me with her
She remarried 2 years after
Gave birth to 4 leaving me with 4 step sibling
Some years back I heard my mum saying my dad has other children ( I don’t even know them ) I don’t even know my dad

I am a graduate now

So comfortable in life
Got lands houses and cars to my name

My problem now is I feel empty whenever I think of my dad
More like I don’t know my root

I plan on visiting mums home for Christmas
The problem is she hates my dad so much
any thing about that topic gets her angry

I don’t know how to convince to go show me my dads house

I don’t know possible ways to get her to show me my dad hus

Don’t even know if my dad is good
Don’t even know his family
Don’t even know my village
Everything I call family is just from my mother side

Zero from my dad side
I wish I can know them
There is a spirit in every man seeking truth always. You are mature to look for your dad now.

Your mother is not helping you but that should not stop you from searching and finding your own father irrespective of his candour and past deliquencies as described by your mother. This is just one sided story and you have right to listen to the two sides today.

But proceed gently with your angry mum to know the town of your birth, the hospital of your birth and the street where your parents lived at the days of your birth. Try to physically locate the building of your birth and enquiries of your father from current occupants. If you comb the neighbourhood of this building well someone could remember your father and mother well to recollect your birth days and possibly the story of your parents quarrels.

It is very good you leave your mum out of the search to avoid discouragement from her or any evil shenanigans from her. Such searches should be done personally to avoid unpleasant surprises. You never know with women.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Ellasure: 10:36am On Dec 13, 2022
Bimbilla:
The reason why some men don't bother to look for their children's is that they believe that no matter what you can not call somebody your father, so they don't care either you look for them or not
This is true.

True men don't look for their children particularly the boys because they know when the boy grow up and wants to be useful to himself he must look for his father to collect some blessings, no matter how small. Even if it is just robbing bodies together, it surely have its value.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by doshiyad1: 11:41am On Dec 13, 2022
Buhari4sale:
Bro, try to reach out to your mom's friends. Interrogate them and use your wisdom to get what you want. Try to ask your mom some questions too.. At this point, don't expect your mom to show you where your father come from.. Just look for a way to find out who your father is.

Go to people within your family and family friends... Explain how you feel to some of them, im sure one of them will be reasonable enough to give you a clue.

You are a man, So deal with your mom as if you are in your father's shoe
Kai! too much wisdom in your response iswear. My God bless and increase you in wisdom. Amen!
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by fman(m): 12:51pm On Dec 13, 2022
Robenna:
Must you try to be funny
I hear you!!
Mr.Sadist
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Unclesamo(m): 1:34pm On Dec 13, 2022
Don't Underestimate the Power of Single mothers and their bitterness towards their Baby daddies.

You might later realize that all your mom told you were lies.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Xchii: 1:36pm On Dec 13, 2022
Osariemen12:
Don't just interrogate your mother, threaten her. Let her know you will disown her if she doesn't show you your dad, dead or alive. Why do I have the feeling that the malaria death is another cock and bull story from her? What's the age difference between you and your eldest step sibling? An honest answer to this will unravel the mystery of their separation.

And don't mind those who'll criticise him for not looking for you up till now. You don't know the efforts he probably made before now and the brick walls they met. Meet him first and you'll here his own side of the story. Pray to be lucky enough that the man your mother married earlier whom the world believe is your father is your real father because paternity trust is one of the greatest challenges of men. And know this: the seeming innocent woman you call mom today was a 'player' of yesterday.


Finally, are you a Yoruba? If yes, I rest my case.
didn't you read the thread? He's actually from Edo state, which is not surprising.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Unclesamo(m): 1:37pm On Dec 13, 2022
Ellasure:
This is true.

True men don't look for their children particularly the boys because they know when the boy grow up and wants to be useful to himself he must look for his father to collect some blessings, no matter how small. Even if it is just robbing bodies together, it surely have its value.
Exactly.

And the Mother's version might be lies
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Unclesamo(m): 1:44pm On Dec 13, 2022
iammee:
You just dey find wetin no lost up and down rest. I'm 28 I don't know my dad too. I have not met him. I tried reaching him too, got his contact, called him, he acknowledged I'm his daughter but we are like strangers to each other. We don't talk on phone, he's not eager to see me. His family over there he's everything to him so me slf lock up. I moved on. So baba you maybe disappointed after knowing who ur father is.
It might not be his fault.

Maybe your mum fed you with half Truth, and the man is not ready to stir up much trouble.

Many times, separation occurs when children are still infants and the man wouldn't be able to take care of the child, hence left the child with the mum to come back in few year to acknowledge responsibilities. But many a time, the so called mothers do run away from being reached, thereby leading them to single handedly taking care of that child for years and feeding her with lies of how the father was wicked and neglected her.
such Child grows up in hate towards that Father.

I've seen such cases a lot, and I can also relate.


When you ask the deep questions, you will get the right answers.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Unclesamo(m): 1:46pm On Dec 13, 2022
DIVAD2000:
His mom "moved out" I don't think his father abandoned him
Exactly, and most times, they run away from where they could be reached.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Unclesamo(m): 1:49pm On Dec 13, 2022
Exceed15:
Obviously your mom never wanted you to know your father and probably took you far away so he can't have access to you, for those saying your father didn't look for u .

May be he is a gentle easy going fellow who doesn't believe on unnecessary drama from women and because he knew you are NOT a bastard and that someday you would look for him.
Man up and do investigation on his whereabout. Don't expect your mom to give you any clue. Happy finding dude.

Note: For those women who use children to punish men , know that no matter what u do , the child will hunt a Search for his/her father someday else there will be no peace.
God Bless you. I can relate to this.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Unclesamo(m): 1:49pm On Dec 13, 2022
Henrikjay:
She got angry that your dad couldn't provide the money for medicine to treat junior of the malaria that lead to junior death ... Meaning your dad has no money and was poor and your mother quiet know your dad was poor without money before she got married to him and had 2 kids while knowing her husband has no money. ..so my point your mother left cause she already have and meeting a man outside which she got married to and have 4 of your siblings for .. And junior death was a perfect excuse for her .. And that was the same reason the man ur step father accept your and her cause he was the one that told your mom out of your father's life ...go and find out about this ...
God bless your wisdom
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Unclesamo(m): 1:50pm On Dec 13, 2022
Atlantis585:
Ask your mom not Nairalanders.

Seems like she is an evil vindictive mother to have kept you away from your father and your root.

Whatever problems she had with your dad has nothing to do with you - unless she played away match to conceive you and got chased away by your dad and his family
She actually kept him away from his reach.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Unclesamo(m): 1:52pm On Dec 13, 2022
Justbehave:
Only women think like this.
Only them have this shallow thought.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by confydoedowaye(m): 1:53pm On Dec 13, 2022
GistFullGround:
She has to tell you where you come from, abi she be witch? It doesn't matter what she went through; Papa na Papa!

You yourself said it that your father was not buoyant... You have to be forceful because if your mom dies anytime, you can be lost forever.

She has to tell you or show you your origin. By the way, is she an illiterate?

I just dey vex, did she not remarry? Your siblings know their root, while you don't, when you are not a bastard.

Abegi change am for her. I believe she go fear!

Some women are just stupid. I strongly believe the father is a good man and this guy took after his father. His mother must have tried tirelessly to make him hate his father but he is still interested in hearing from the man... A good man gave birth to a good son. Do everything possible to know ur father. Hear his own side of the story.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by millstone(m): 3:05pm On Dec 13, 2022
abeg give us update when you see the guy. I wan tell am something
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by DonroxyII:
Chee59:
When you stare into the dark, the dark stares right back at you.
The matter of divorce or separation is deeply rooted. There's no clear cut reason most times, be careful with your search, so you don't break your own heart even further.
Have you considered the fact that your dad knows you exist but has never made a move, not even sent someone, to see you behind your mother's back?
If he wants to meet with you, he has had 24 years and a million ways to plan your meetup.

Like I said, don't break your heart even further.
This is a Wrong Advice, A Child needs to find His Root and Originator in order to have Closure, Balance of Life and Peace of Mind as well as Emotional Stabilisations....

The Man is already Irresponsible to Me.

Nothwistanding the Child should be able to make his own informed decisions away from the Mother's Mindsets No Matter what Transpired ...

There should be a Law mandating all Fathers to be responsible for their Pregnancy and the Resulting Child for the first 18years of a Child Developments and failure to do so is a Jail Sentence! ...

Don't fvck the pvssy you won't be responsible for the Consequences therefrom angry

Many Children are just roaming the streets with or without the mothers and the Irresponsible Sperm contributor father doesnt Contribute to the Child Developments!

Pay or go to Jail !
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Zse1: 3:59pm On Dec 13, 2022
Eh ya
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Exceed15: 4:16pm On Dec 13, 2022
Unclesamo:
God Bless you. I can relate to this.
Amen.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by DisLifeSha: 4:21pm On Dec 13, 2022
Your own good na. You've made it. Living with a single parent (mother) has never favored me. It's a life of suffering for me even as an only child

Prechgold1180:
Good evening house

Sorry to bore you with my issues


My mum and dad separated 24 years ago

Reason for separation
My only biological bro died from malaria
My dad was unable to come up with money for treatment

My mum moved out took me with her
She remarried 2 years after
Gave birth to 4 leaving me with 4 step sibling
Some years back I heard my mum saying my dad has other children ( I don’t even know them ) I don’t even know my dad

I am a graduate now

So comfortable in life
Got lands houses and cars to my name

My problem now is I feel empty whenever I think of my dad
More like I don’t know my root

I plan on visiting mums home for Christmas
The problem is she hates my dad so much
any thing about that topic gets her angry

I don’t know how to convince to go show me my dads house

I don’t know possible ways to get her to show me my dad hus

Don’t even know if my dad is good
Don’t even know his family
Don’t even know my village
Everything I call family is just from my mother side

Zero from my dad side
I wish I can know them
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by DonroxyII: 4:25pm On Dec 13, 2022
DisLifeSha:
Your own good na. You've made it. Living with a single parent (mother) has never favored me. It's a life of suffering for me even as an only child
She go tie you down ni huh
Built yourself a Man, get married and Give her one pikin dem Face your own Games!
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Owologbo(m): 5:56pm On Dec 13, 2022
Socratiz:
Don't be surprised if your mum gets angry at you for asking about your dad. She would be right to be angry and even take you to be an ungrateful daughter after all the sacrifices she had made to ensure you become who you are today.

People would ask that why has your dad not looked for you. But this is preposterous because he could also have been looking for you and not know how to reach you.

Just be ready to take the backlash from your mum when you ask her.

I agree you deserve to know your biological father. It's your decision to maintain the relationship or not when you do.
Tradition is very important o. I know of a child that got sick for not seeing the Dad; he becomes well once the mom take him to the father relative.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Osariemen12: 6:16pm On Dec 13, 2022
Xchii:
didn't you read the thread? He's actually from Edo state, which is not surprising.
He didn't mention his state. Anyway, his story somehow speaks of our western neighbours.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by DisLifeSha: 8:29pm On Dec 13, 2022
I'm also a Type 1 Diabetic. This illness don minus from me since 12 years now. It's not easy. If am able to do my business, all aspects and areas of my life with ll be positively affected

DonroxyII:
She go tie you down ni huh
Built yourself a Man, get married and Give her one pikin dem Face your own Games!
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by iammee(f): 8:38pm On Dec 13, 2022
[quote author=Unclesamo pos


When you ask the deep questions, you will get the right answers.[/quote]I get your point but in my case it's not like that. I asked him what happened, I wanted him to be part of my life. He couldn't say anything, he kept begging and after that he's going to vanish for months even years without calling. My mom is late but when she was alive my mom never said anything negative about him, she kept his picture for years just for me to know what he looks like but moving From one place to another the picture got bad and we couldn't find it anymore. Baba knows he bleeped up. He's wife and family are more important to him I get the message and I moved on.
Re: 25 Years Old And I Still Don’t Know My Dad by Robenna(m): 10:30am On Dec 14, 2022
fman:
I hear you!!
Mr.Sadist
They're talking important things
You de ment


Just de play
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