₦airaland Forum

Weirdcamila:
Well
180k can set up something for you (food stuff market while you pay your brothers school fees)
Your brother is your responsibility too.

You must be joking.

MeaslesMumpsRub:
But you Mum is your Past. The One who can never Betray You. If your Brother is Good academically and morally. It is not a bad thing for you to support him in paying his fees.

Moreover as you no get where to go,Na your Mama place you still run go.
If e set for you last last, Na Your mother go dey for you.

Your daughter is not your future, You are your future.
Your Mom probably thought you are her future too and now you are about to disappoint her.

Don't put unnecessary Pressure on that little Girl of Yours if you cannot take same pressure from your mom.
What goes around comes around

deep

So if your husband hadn't given you this money how would they have paid his school fees?

This is yet another reason why it is important to be discreet with some information, if she wasn't aware that your husband gave you such sum she wouldn't have any reason to ask you.

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

Oracleee:
Selfish? Lol. You might be 60 years and be successful but one way or another you might still need help somedays. Pick her husband before me.... The earliest you learn your spouse is your only family who is not your relative the better for you. Divorce is quite rampart this days, your spouse can choose to leave, your partner can leave at a time of distress but family is where one runs too at the end.


About the sister thing, I needed some help at some point that could have made life better for me. I had like a million saved needed just 300k. My sister point blank told me her husband wanted changing his car and other family stuffs. I cried deeply as I also paid part of her masters fee before marriage even when it was not convenient. I ended up letting go and when the small god go, the bigger ones come. A complete stranger ended up helping. Am good now but it really laid a kibosh on our relationship.

You're contradicting yourself. You said family is so and so, but you made money come between yourself and your sister.


If you're a grown adult, you aren't owed anything, so you sound kind of entitled to bear grudged towards your sister because she didn't give you 300k.

Did you and your sister have an agreement that told help each other out financially?

Did you pay part of her Masters out of your own freewill or because she asked?

Make life better you in what way? Can you be more specific, in what you wanted the 300k for because it doesn't seem like you needed it because you were sick and helpless or destitute.

MeaslesMumpsRub:
But you Mum is your Past. The One who can never Betray You. If your Brother is Good academically and morally. It is not a bad thing for you to support him in paying his fees.

Moreover as you no get where to go,Na your Mama place you still run go.
If e set for you last last, Na Your mother go dey for you.

Your daughter is not your future, You are your future.
Your Mom probably thought you are her future too and now you are about to disappoint her.

Don't put unnecessary Pressure on that little Girl of Yours if you cannot take same pressure from your mom.
What goes around comes around

Yes i am her future she gave me life if it was something to do with her health i will sacrifice the money to treat her and for her to be alive but since it has nothing to do with her health and i am not my brother future. i will not sacrifice the money for someone who may not even help me tommorow. The money we are talking about is 300k only not 3 million i should use it wisely or else i will become a subject of mockery

gaby:
Do not fall for the emotional blackmail.

Stay and stand your ground. Your daughter comes first here.

If she makes you feel less comfortable, find an alternative living arrangement.

You and your brother were brought into the world by her which automatically should make her responsible to you both, just as you are now responsible to the one you have brought into the world (your daughter).

You only owe your parents and siblings a duty of care after you have been able to sort your self-acquired or induced care cum responsibility.

Good luck..

a duty of care in what aspect. Cos care can be quite vague and I need to understand the context

You made a big mistake moving back to her house......You should have rented at least a bedsitter for you and your daughter and have your privacy and peace of mind.

Kdsml:
Yes i am her future she gave me life if it was something to do with her health i will sacrifice the money to treat her and for her to be alive but since it has nothing to do with her health and i am not my brother future. i will not sacrifice the money for someone who may not even help me tommorow. The money we are talking about is 300k only not 3 million i should use it wisely or else i will become a subject of mockery

So it's your blood brother that you referring to as someone because he needs 120k, you're indeed a wicked sister. Am happy my sisters are not like you. How much your child school fees wan consume at this early age. If you don't help your brother, you might regret in future.

Bahamas95:
You made a big mistake moving back to her house......You should have rented at least a bedsitter for you and your daughter and have your privacy and peace of mind.

It was hubby choice for me to moved to my mom place as for myself I wanted to rent a room for 45k a year, he said the 300k wasn't enough for me to rent a room. I am thinking about moving out in january waiting to hear from hubby first

1Sharon:
You're contradicting yourself. You said family is so and so, but you made money come between yourself and your sister.


If you're a grown adult, you aren't owed anything, so you sound kind of entitled to bear grudged towards your sister because she didn't give you 300k.

Did you and your sister have an agreement that told help each other out financially?

Did you pay part of her Masters out of your own freewill or because she asked?

Make life better you in what way? Can you be more specific, in what you wanted the 300k for because it doesn't seem like you needed it because you were sick and helpless or destitute.

Am not here to trade banters with you. I just aired my opinion. Have fun and merry xmas

gaby:
.

You are truly deranged.

Go find your likes to quote and engage in a back-and-forth, please. I don't do kolos

Lol! Have had an experience with the dude.He sounds like someone whose senses are incomplete.Just ignore.

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

First of all no sensible people will sell their properties and relocate to a new country without a job over there.
2. If you're staying in your mum's house without assisting with the rent you no dey try that's y she's asking for the money.
3. Leave your mum house and fend for yourself. You're an adult and obviously married.

Kdsml:
No we are not feeding from her resource i bought the rice , ground nut oil and yam that we are eating now

Quiet, if i hear pim. are u paying rent!

obynoceaser:
So it's your blood brother that you referring to as someone because he needs 120k, you're indeed a wicked sister. Am happy my sisters are not like you. How much your child school fees wan consume at this early age. If you don't help your brother, you might regret in future.

Yes he is my blood brother i don't owe him anything and i will not regret it.

jessylaurel:
First of all no sensible people will sell their properties and relocate to a new country without a job over there.
2. If you're staying in your mum's house without assisting with the rent you no dey try that's y she's asking for the money.
3. Leave your mum house and fend for yourself. You're an adult and obviously married.

I will leave next month

Help ur brother for the school fees for future purpose and manage the remaining money for your food stuff business the Lord will be ur strenght.

Oju4190:
Quiet, if i hear pim. are u paying rent!

I am not paying rent but i have contribute with foods what about the 24 years old lazy man who is not contributing on anything he want to rely on our mother and siblings , if his two younger sisters 22 and 19 are out there working like everyone else and why can't him do the same when he is not disable ?

Akposkiz:
Help ur brother for the school fees for future purpose and manage the remaining money for your food stuff business the Lord will be ur strenght.

I will not help him my daughter is my future not him

Go and rent a bed sitter apartment of 100k and stay there with your baby. Let her keep her frustration to herself

1Sharon:
So school fees can be up to 120k for a whole year?

yes most especially state universities

Ten06:
Go and rent a bed sitter apartment of 100k and stay there with your baby. Let her keep her frustration to herself

I will rent a room for 45k per year waiting to hear from hubby first

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.
Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

Ignore her. Before God, you haven't done anything wrong.

I’ve learned not to do what’s beyond me. It will be even more frustrating when it’s time to get the money back.

From the sounds of it your livelihood at this point in time ultimately depends on how you invest that 300k and if your mum could see the bigger picture she’d see that it would benefit her in the long term since you’ll be living together.

How exactly was the brother’s school fees being paid before?

If you can manage to squeeze yourself even a little I’d give her like 20k max but that’s only if you can lol

Emotional blackmail from parents can be so draining.

300K is what some people on here have planned out how she should spend almost 50% of it on her brother's school fees
That money is barely enough to do Christmas shopping, talkmore of paying school fees and doing business with it at the same time
If your child is still young, less than 4 years, don't put child in school yet and use ALL the money for your business.
Anybody who has only 300K to start a business venture has no business paying school fees of 120K for even their biological child or brother. (You have to think of sustainability)
If your child is really of school age, you should only use about 5% of that money as school fees per term meaning not more than 15K per term.
You shouldn't put your own dreams/business aside for your brother's dreams of an education.
Start working on your business immediately, as 300k means nothing with the continous inflation.
Don't forget your child will need to pay school fees every term.
Hopefully, your husband settles down quickly abroad to support you with the child because that your 300K no be am

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

You’re not wrong

pocohantas:
He at least confirmed something I always knew, women would most times put their husbands before their families. He thought women reason like men who go about singing how they have suffered with their families before marrying. If it were OP’s husband, know he would give his brother that money and if his wife says pim - we would sit to discuss how she wants to scatter the brotherhood.

If I were her, I would give my brother something, definitely not the 120k sha.

You're completely correct. A man would have prioritised the family he left behind instead of the one he created. They'd carry their mum, dad, cousin, brother forgetting they're married with young children.

Women got it right.

Yes I'd give him something only if I can and want to, not 150k

But what (university, I assume)school fees in Nigeria is 150k? because it seems like they're trying to milk her.
Put me straight if I'm wrong.

1Sharon:
You're contradicting yourself. You said family is so and so, but you made money come between yourself and your sister.


If you're a grown adult, you aren't owed anything, so you sound kind of entitled to bear grudged towards your sister because she didn't give you 300k.

Did you and your sister have an agreement that told help each other out financially?

Did you pay part of her Masters out of your own freewill or because she asked?

Make life better you in what way? Can you be more specific, in what you wanted the 300k for because it doesn't seem like you needed it because you were sick and helpless or destitute.

if my sister needs financial assistance, do i need to have an agreement with her to help her out? We all would face times of need, and who else do we run to other than those who are supposed to be our support system? We are social creatures, and we need the support.

1Sharon:
You're completely correct. A man would have prioritised the family he left behind instead of the one he created. They'd carry their mum, dad, cousin, brother forgetting they're married with young children.

Women got it right.

Yes I'd give him something only if I can and want to, not 150k

But what (university, I assume)school fees in Nigeria is 150k? because it seems like they're trying to milk her.
Put me straight if I'm wrong.

Exactly what they do most times. Yenyenyen, my family that suffered with me. See this lady now, she no wan give her own family wey suffer with am money.

State schools pay that much. Crazy but true.

Onyiiobi7735:
Lol! Have had an experience with the dude.He sounds like someone whose senses are incomplete.Just ignore.

Thanks, jare

I just tire for the loonie...

Kdsml:
My daughter is more important, she is my future the only one who can never betray me

lol. Your daughter can’t betray you ? Lmao, as if you’re not about to betray your mom

If you feel your brother is 24 and can stand for himself then ask yourself the same question, why did you move back to your mom's house, aren't you old enough to stand for yourself.
Without sacrifice you don't have family, why don't you offer some amount as support, your brother your looking at like this is your child's future uncle whom you don't know yet if you will need his help, you rise by lifting others up, especially your family. Offer some support maybe 50k and lock up.

obynoceaser:
So it's your blood brother that you referring to as someone because he needs 120k, you're indeed a wicked sister. Am happy my sisters are not like you. How much your child school fees wan consume at this early age. If you don't help your brother, you might regret in future.

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