₦airaland Forum

1Sharon:
You're completely correct. A man would have prioritised the family he left behind instead of the one he created. They'd carry their mum, dad, cousin, brother forgetting they're married with young children.

Women got it right.

Yes I'd give him something only if I can and want to, not 150k

But what (university, I assume)school fees in Nigeria is 150k? because it seems like they're trying to milk her.
Put me straight if I'm wrong.

pitfalls of being a man, don't you think?

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

Being independent is costly. Moving back to her place wasn't the best move. Don't blame her, she feels you played her, and rightly so.

eyinjuege:
300K is what some people on here have planned out how she should spend almost 50% of it on her brother's school fees
That money is barely enough to do Christmas shopping, talkmore of paying school fees and doing business with it at the same time
If your child is still young, less than 4 years, don't put child in school yet and use ALL the money for your business.
Anybody who has only 300K to start a business venture has no business paying school fees of 120K for even their biological child or brother. (You have to think of sustainability)
If your child is really of school age, you should only use about 5% of that money as school fees per term meaning not more than 15K per term.
You shouldn't put your own dreams/business aside for your brother's dreams of an education.
Start working on your business immediately, as 300k means nothing with the continous inflation.
Don't forget your child will need to pay school fees every term.
Hopefully, your husband settles down quickly abroad to support you with the child because that your 300K no be am

I am grateful for your support and understanding

[quote author=Oracleee post=119418401]Most of the folks here are telling you not to mind your mum. Watch how you create if not an everlasting enemity between yourself and your brother. Even your mum won't be able to bridge the gap. Family is everything. Your brother might be desperate for the money. If you are to get an house rent won't you path with close to the amount and this is your blood brother we are talking about here. My sister once choosed her husband before me years ago and till today I still carry the grudge. Don't create an enemity, cut your budget cost for the business and help your brother even if not everything. Las Las that your hubby might loose guard you,. The 300k might finish or get stolen but the people you have are everything. correct best advise,,, don't mind those fool giving her wrong advise, seriously my family first, you don't know how tomorrow will be that your brother maybe your helper in the nearest future, there is nothing like family, why she didn't go back to her husband family house or her husband don't have parents or family,

Ogabuz:
If you feel your brother is 24 and can stand for himself then ask yourself the same question, why did you move back to your mom's house, aren't you old enough to stand for yourself.
Without sacrifice you don't have family, why don't you offer some amount as support, your brother your looking at like this is your child's future uncle whom you don't know yet if you will need his help, you rise by lifting others up, especially your family. Offer some support maybe 50k and lock up.

I had the choice to rent a room for 45k per year but my husband said i should because the 300k is not enough for me to rent a room. I am only staying with her for a short period i won't be here forever

[quote author=vivaciousvivi post=119419015]Please don't fall for that cheap blackmail.
Your brother is not your responsibility.
Your daughter is.
After taking care of your mom and making sure she is relatively stable, focus on you and your kid please.
Haba! Aren't they aware of the circumstances concerning why you even moved back home?
rubbish is the brother not the same blood with her, if the brother make money tomorrow and refused to help her you people will start saying rubbish, I will help my family brother or sister anything except if he or she is not responsible, there is nothing better than family. you people will be giving wrong advise to people wicked people

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

You're very right and noble, do not give her ,let do her do her worst.
When things gets better she will be rewarded in multiple fold.
You're a very decent child judging by your demeanor, just be focused, she will be alright

toprealman:
Being independent is costly. Moving back to her place wasn't the best move. Don't blame her, she feels you played her, and rightly so.

I had stopped depending on her since i was 9 years old she gave me away to work as a house help and i have temporarily return back at almost 27 years old i don't understand why you mean that i played her for what or how? what about the lazy 24 years old who has been playing her for 24 years when he is not disable ? Don't you think he should hustle and pay for his own school fees

Kdsml:
I am grateful for your support and understanding

Keep looking for sympathy from strangers here to carry out your wickedness upon your brother. Wicked girl

Kdsml:
My daughter is more important, she is my future the only one who can never betray me

and who say child can't betrays parents, lols but you are already betraying your mother,,, do you know your brother might be your helper + your daughter, u better think very well, by the way u supposed move down to your in-laws house not your mum house

Ur younger brother is ur responsibility too o.... Forgot how Mama is feeling entitled and annoying, she has her reasons- didn't she train u?

Look at the situation as an African..

For future and reference sake try to squeeze out 60k and beg Mama to manage it.

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

You are not wrong sis.

The next thing she will say is she carried your for 9 months and this is how you pay her. Especially if you are ibo.

Right now the most important person in that house is your daughter. If there is food in the house she must eat first, if you receive money she must have the first share. Even the oxygen in the house must be given to her first.

Every other person can manage what's left.

Your brother can find a way around his fees. The reason why your mom's eyes are chookin inside the money is because you told her about it. If there was none, she would have found an alternative.

So Hanty, stand your ground, perhaps when you make profit from your business you can give out part of the profit but not this small capital.

By the way how much did you spend now to buy that wrapper and your daughter's Xmas clothes that one go done chop inside the money. Apparently you are already spending from it. Be careful money has wings.

Life is full of risk. There is a saying in my place that "if husband/wife reject you, your parents will accept you". My own advice is that you can give your mother #20,000.00 or directly to your brother without them paying back. You see, if your mother eventually tell your brother about you refused to help them at this time, he may never forget this for a long time. Mother is very unique. You have the options of moving to your in-law house but you choose to stay with your mother, therefore their problems become yours since yours also become their at this time.

Onelove508:
Ur younger brother is ur responsibility too o.... Forgot how Mama is feeling entitled and annoying, she has her reasons- didn't she train u?

Look at the situation as an African..

For future and reference sake try to squeeze out 60k and beg Mama to manage it.

He cannot be my responsibility because i am not his parent if my mum had she will continue to provide for him since she doesn't have he should look for work and pay for his school fee

Hugose:
You are not wrong sis.

The next thing she will say is she carried your for 9 months and this is how you pay her. Especially if you are ibo.

Right now the most important person in that house is your daughter. If there is food in the house she must eat first, if you receive money she must have the first share. Even the oxygen in the house must be given to her first.

Every other person can manage what's left.

Your brother can find a way around his fees. The reason why your mom's eyes are chookin inside the money is because you told her about it. If there was none, she would have found an alternative.

So Hanty, stand your ground, perhaps when you make profit from your business you can give out part of the profit but not this small capital.

By the way how much did you spend now to buy that wrapper and your daughter's Xmas clothes that one go done chop inside the money. Apparently you are already spending from it. Be careful money has wings.

Thank you so much you says it all my daughter should come first i cannot put a grown up man before her , i haven't touched the 300k yet the money i have used to buy xmas clothes and wrapper was given to me by my daughter god mother. I have given the wrapper to my aunty she is grateful

[quote author=Cazzim post=119422129][/quote]They will continue ill advising her. The other lady talking about entitlement mentality has forgotten there are exception to that stuff entitlement. Families are meant to be there no matter what betide. That's why it's called family not relative.

Weirdcamila:
Well
180k can set up something for you (food stuff market while you pay your brothers school fees)
Your brother is your responsibility too.

secondary responsibility

Omookunnimi:
Life is full of risk. There is a saying in my place that "if husband/wife reject you, your parents will accept you". My own advice is that you can give your mother #20,000.00 or directly to your brother without them paying back. You see, if your mother eventually tell your brother about you refused to help them at this time, he may never forget this for a long time. Mother is very unique. You have the options of moving to your in-law house but you choose to stay with your mother, therefore their problems become yours since yours also become their at this time.

I am not worrying about her telling him which i believed she had already told him and i don't care if he hold grudges against me it won't bother me. I didn't choose to stay with my mum i wanted to rent a room but hubby said i should stay with my mum , their problems can become mine if i have enough to offer since i don't have anything to offer i will not kill myself. If i recklessly spend the money and become broke they will be the first one to mock me before outsiders that's why i should spend it wisely to avoid the story that touch the heart

You made the first mistake of letting her know you kept such money in the first instance having known her character. Pls don't give her any dime!

Kdsml:
He cannot be my responsibility because i am not his parent if my mum had she will continue to provide for him since she doesn't have he should look for work and pay for his school fee

I have ask u to look at the situation as an African- this is not Europe ma. We try to come through for each other in time of need here. What are siblings for?

Except if ur brother is an irresponsible person or ur mother didn't train u they are ur responsibilities too

Like someone on the first page said, 'in 5 years time u will understand"

Kobojunkiee:
You and your husband decided you should move out of your rented apartment back into your own mother's place, but did you two also at least plan to pay her rent while you are staying with her so it is not like your family is somehow mooching off of her at least? The store wey you want open for the front of house, you go also pay her rent for the space abi this na freeloading arrangement you dey run so?

If you had maybe indicated that your husband did not saddle her with his family, I would say maybe you are not wrong but your story does not indicate that that isn't the case at all. It sounds a lot like your family is mooching off of her as it is, am I right?

Thank God someone that has sense came here.

The mother might have performed her obligation to train her and still assisting her while married instead of her assisting her mother.
Yet she She can't even lend her mother at least 60k for the sake of her brother lol.
Life na turn by turn leave her.

Kdsml:
Thank you so much you says it all my daughter should come first i cannot put a grown up man before her , i haven't touched the 300k yet the money i have used to buy xmas clothes and wrapper was given to me by my daughter god mother. I have given the wrapper to my aunty she is grateful

I just hope 18yrs from now the girl won't be writing and cursing her rich uncle who doesn't give a hoot about her. It starts from days like this. Wisdom is profitable to direct I hope God gives you the wisdom you need at this time.

Lemme ask, if the guy couldn't get the money and it ended up affecting him, what will happen next?

Kdsml:
Pls I only have one responsibility which is my daughter ,my brother is not my responsible he is 24 old enough to hustle like his fellow mates

Lol 300k
Sapa go come visiting soon

gaby:
Why are you quoting me?

Make your comment and move on.

Do not get on my mentions.

You sabi post rvbbish!

tollyboy5:
You sabi post rvbbish!

Asswiped dingbatted slowpoke.

May you have a very black and miserable Christmas.

Oracleee:
Most of the folks here are telling you not to mind your mum. Watch how you create if not an everlasting enemity between yourself and your brother. Even your mum won't be able to bridge the gap. Family is everything. Your brother might be desperate for the money. If you are to get an house rent won't you path with close to the amount and this is your blood brother we are talking about here. My sister once choosed her husband before me years ago and till today I still carry the grudge. Don't create an enemity, cut your budget cost for the business and help your brother even if not everything. Las Las that your hubby might loose guard you,. The 300k might finish or get stolen but the people you have are everything.

I shake my head for stvpid people on this forum.
Ladies are very funny, if the first born was a guy and the second born was a lady people will accuse the guy of not helping his younger sis.
But now it's a lady , nothing concern her with her younger brother lol.

gaby:
Asswiped dingbatted slowpoke.

May you have a very black and miserable Christmas.

I'm a Muslim Fo0L, your statement will be the portion for your children 1diot.

Olori pelebe

Kdsml:
Ok thank you for the advice

Mother's eh


Sometimes theyr Shit

tollyboy5:
I'm a Muslim Fo0L, your statement will be the portion for your children 1diot.

Olori pelebe

I have prayed for you.
If you make it through this Christmas, you won't see January 1st.

This is my prayer for you.

tollyboy5:
I'm a Muslim Fo0L, your statement will be the portion for your children 1diot.

Olori pelebe

Lazy thieving prick...

Dangote trailer na him go delete you and your entire lineage.

gaby:
Lazy thieving prick...

Dangote trailer na him go delete you and your entire lineage.

Lol na Fulani herdsmen go rape the whole female in ya household including ya mama and unborn fo0ls.

gaby:
I have prayed for you.
If you make it through this Christmas, you won't see January 1st.

This is my prayer for you.

Relax your prayer are transformed to long suffering to you. Trust me, you no fit make am. No b swear.