₦airaland Forum

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

If that boys gets to UK, he would be a torn in the flesh to his mum.

Let him remain here, until he gets to 25yrs, by then, sense of maturity and responsibility would have humbled him

Zupay:
Thank you all for your insights. I won't disturb my cousin anymore regarding him.

I will be firmer with him not disturbing me because he can't even dare communicate with any of his mother's siblings because he really made them look foolish when he was behaving as if his father was the wronged party and he is no longer welcomed in my uncle's home (his grandparents home) because it was to my uncle's hearing in one of the times he said he would change his surname, so they no longer feel comfortable having him around them though he has tried to apologize.

I support your cousin's decision, and as you stated don't pressure her further.

However, if the father refuses to train the boy, your cousin should not abandon him. Let her train him even to University while he is in Nigeria.

It is very likely that, after finishing University in Nigeria, his brain would have properly reset....after this point, your cousin might start considering plans to relocate him.

Klass99:
Zupay, first things first I like the simplicity and clarity of your post. Thank you for not rambling and getting straight to the point.

Secondly, I like your cousin to pieces already. She is a woman after my own heart and I love the choices she has made so far regarding her life and her son. Please DO NOT intervene for her son any longer or prevail on your cousin to change her mind.

Some children and adults need to learn that motherhood is not sainthood, neither is it martyrdom, where a woman is foolishly expected to die on top of nonsense and stupidity, in the name of motherhood or because of a child and a foolish one at that.

Kindly ask him to buzz off and quit bothering you. Is it by force to go to UK or reconcile with the mother? She doesn't want o! Like you said, she has a right to a fresh start and a new beginning in her life, without carrying along the same people who contributed to her past hurt and pain.

The male child is just overrated, look at what the son did and before that look at what another male child did (i.e. the boyfriend/father who denied the pregnancy only to return years later in a back-handed way)

She wants to start afresh with her Life? I don't understand the logic. As in, she's looking for a simp man she'll pin down with marriage knowingly fully well she's already an over used damaged goods?

I still don't understand the magic here, you mean after fvcking and hoeing around in her prime time, she suddenly realized she's getting older and she now wishes to start afresh with a stupid simp man she can hook down for marriage?

At the bolded, "her body her choice" remember the statement? Abi u don forget?

If not that you're extremely daf*t, you know very well that you girls hoe and fvck around with random guys in your prime time, and of course the guy never forced himself on her. She even had other guys that was fvcking her too. And yet your brain is too dull not to understand this. The guy did excellently well. She was a whoree and a runz girl and was treated as such.

Na wa ooo. What is happening to Nairaland men? I am reading the front page and actually seeing Awon red okpillas being FAIR to a Nigerian woman and even supporting her.

I can't even insult Nigerian men in
peace and in good conscience again. Smh.

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

You are a very wicked person, yourself, if you don’t stop disturbing your cousin.

I hope you haven’t disturbed her to that extent.

The pressure from you can disturb her state of mind and make her begin to think of bringing the boy over. The boy is probably already doing internet fraud, or into various bad things.



Someone that sees this as an opportunity, instead of saying I’m no longer worthy to be called your child, take me as an hired servant I.e. I know I have done wrong, just forgive me first is all on my mind, he is busy having dreams of uk life.

Completely unrepentant, he will only wreck havoc there and drag her back and probably beat his mum, when he grows up with strange elements that’s are worse than him in the uk.

Let him show he’s doing something for himself, like some people have mentioned, probably even finish first degree in with good results. That will be a very good benchmark. And then watch him closely to see his mental posture.

He’s still young, There’s time. Let him prove himself, kind of like his mother did.

Or else, forget about him completely.

And it’s against the Word of God for his mother to remarry when she has a living partner as in Corinthians.

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

Block the ungrateful child

Richy4:
Be firm with him when issues of UK or joining her mother comes up.. but other than that, please be nice...he is a teenager and they make mistakes...It won't be Ok for him to know that no one cares...U are the only link now between him and his mother's siblings... Apply wisdom on this buddy...

Teenagers of this days are not strong as the '80s and '90s... Every little thing, their mind goes on suicide... Just hang in there for him man no matter how exhausting it might be... That's the ugly and challenging part of being an uncle... I wish that title can be renounced sometimes..

You are very wise... I couldn't have put it better. ❤️❤️

If your story is real and not fiction, please stop begging your cousin. The boy is nothing but an ungrateful child. Allow him to enjoy his father in Nigeria here while her mum start a new family in the UK. If the mother mistakenly take the boy to the UK,believe me he will do worse.

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

Please this lady should be careful with the boy. Once in UK he may cause her trouble that may warrant her deportation o. Any child not well brought up back home, can easily get wayward once abroad. Too many children right and freedom can be dramatic sincerely.

Again, how sure is she that the father and his present family is not influencing the push?

She should act with wisdom and prayer in this. Yes he is her son. He has not seen her as a worthy mother or parent. All he is after now the UK.

He may become worst when he discovers that life is not as rosy as he thinks.

It will actually end in regret if she takes him to the UK. If in Nigeria, he can easily forget his grandparents and mother (even when she was sick) and went to be with a man that denied him when he was born, imagine taking him to the UK where children misbehave and there is really nothing you can do. Let him be with his father. She will eveb be a burden to your cousin in the UK who is looking for a husband. Getting a man to be married to in the UK is hard as a single lady, not to talk of being a "single mother".

However, my question is this; If this your cousin see a man today, will she be open to the man that she has a son (which makes her a single mother) or she will lie that she has never given birth?

So because the boy went to live with his father, that is why she has refused to pick his calls?

What kind of a mother is that?
A 16yr old boy for that matter.

That woman is already looking for how to remarry and don't want the boy complicating things for her.

Selfish interests

The boy's father is an irresponsible idiot

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

A child will not be so bad we'll feed him to the lion. The mother should take the child back, he's just a child and we all make mistakes during our teenage years, it's not something abnormal or unheard of. So the mum shouldn't take a permanent solution to a temporary problem, the boy will always be hers. The boy has probably learnt his lessons too sha.

Zupay:
My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

A female child can NEVER do this,NEVER!!!

Please tell her to ignore the boy and continue with her life in the UK,the boy needs to learn early in life that there are consequences for our actions/in actions!!!

Amayabor1:
It will actually end in regret if she takes him to the UK. If in Nigeria, he can easily forget his grandparents and mother (even when she was sick) and went to be with a man that denied him when he was born, imagine taking him to the UK where children misbehave and there is really nothing you can do. Let him be with his father. She will eveb be a burden to your cousin in the UK who is looking for a husband. Getting a man to be married to in the UK is hard as a single lady, not to talk of being a "single mother".

However, my question is this; If this your cousin see a man today, will she be open to the man that she has a son (which makes her a single mother) or she will lie that she has never given birth?

A woman that is rejecting the call of her own son?

She will lie point blank that she is still a virgin just to get married.

I know say na boy. Single mothers to boys are trying. Very ungrateful creatures.

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

wash your hand from that matter. the mother did the best she could do. The boy has not learnt his lesson. since you were alive to witness what happened to his mother and how the father denied him in his mother's womb, did you not tell him that he derserves what he is getting now? taking that boy back with be encouraging bad beahvior, he must learn and learn the hard way

drimzsmoke:
A female child can NEVER do this,NEVER!!!

Please tell her to ignore the boy and continue with her life in the UK,the boy needs to learn early in life that there are consequences for our actions/in actions!!!

He is a 16yr old.
He probably made those mistakes when he was even younger than that.

He does not deserve to suffer permanently because of childish foolishness.

That's why u need to kip encouraging the boy, just like wat someone said the kids of late 90s ain't strong like the kids of 80s..

dominique:
The saddest part of it all is that father never wanted the boy or anything other than to use him to "pepper" his mother. That's what deadbeat fathers do, try to put the child they abandoned against the mother that struggled alone to raise him. Now that she has thrown their bullshit back at them, that man will start getting irritated with the boy and the boy will start resenting him for making him miss a life changing opportunity. There's no way both of them won't break each other's heads which they both deserve. Useless father and stupid child, they both fit each other die.

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

Na curse dey follow the boy. Even he go to UK, na Igbooo ee go dey smoke

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

If the boy could decide that he wants to stay with his father even when he was living good with his grandparents.
Why don't he decide to go back to his grandparents?
This boy being obsess with going abroad should not be trusted.
He should endure or go back to his grandparents

Your cousin has made a good decision

Klass99:
Stale and obsolete questions that make no sense to me. The idea that I have to create another human being from out of my womb for the sake of happiness or my old age has NEVER resonated with me. I don't do things that don't resonate with me in my heart and soul, because others are doing it.

I find joy, happiness and pleasure with other human beings who already exist as my family, friends, neighbours and coworkers. Then I live one day at a time and in the moment, making the most of my life because I am not guaranteed tomorrow or 2024 sef. My latter years and old age will take care of themselves, if or when I get there, I'm not going to stress over it but I will also plan towards it.

I hope to have a legacy like Oprah Winfrey's - simply touching lives and doing the good I can, where I can. Will children take me to heaven? If the answer is yes let me hurry now and have one or two, because heaven is an end goal for me as well.

You write well.
I enjoy every bit of its diction, depth and purity.

AbuAeesha:
If the boy could decide that he wants to stay with his father even when he was living good with his grandparents.
Why don't he decide to go back to his grandparents?
This boy being obsess with going abroad should not be trusted.
He should endure or go back to his grandparents

Which 16yr old will not be obsessed with going abroad if he has the chance?
And his mother is there.

Even 60yr old men are obsessed with going abroad.

CSTRR:
He is a 16yr old.
He probably made those mistakes when he was even younger than that.

He does not deserve to suffer permanently because of childish foolishness.

What about the mum's sickness last year Most male children lack empathy and compassion...The few that has it are being referred to as simp on nairaland on a daily...If I were to be the 1,I won't take him back,I will send money to my cousin to give to him often and will always ask after his well-being but I will NEVER take him back.Let him learn the Newton 3rd law of motion and its application NOW!!!

I have this little girl sleeping on my chest this very moment as i type,I want to go and make eba but I can't get up,my water is getting dry as I type.There's this girl who assist them with the chores here,Today is her sister's wedding,so she wanted to take the little girl with her to her sister's wedding....there is nothing she didn't buy (happy hour,biscuits and sweets) for her this morning just to make the little girl follow her,but she didn't.when that 1 took her from me,she was crying,I had to take her back,now that's loyalty!!!

Mindlog:
Yes, we can't discount the father being in the background of the desire to have him move to the UK. 🤣🤣🤣

I work here in the UK, in a company that recruits workforce from overseas and some of my colleagues who are single mothers who have no one to leave their child/children with back home in their home countries, had to arrive with their kids though it is better to come alone first, then after 2/3 months file for the child/children to come join them.

Hi, pls, what's the name of this company recruiting people from oversea?

He did not call her through last year October when his mum was sick. Now that he heard mum has jaapa he now called her. That boy is just being too childish.

Kobojunkie:
The boy is 16/17, right? He made his choice to be with his father and she let him go. So why are you trying to carry his case on your head?

If you are indeed serious, why not create an anonymous profile and state your demands.
You can't just find wife anywhere, anyhow!

A female child can never do this to her mother, such an ungrateful child.

I love the woman already, she has no time to cry over a spilled milk .

The father should continue from where the mother stopped.

When they say nobody can be like your mother , they thought it was a joke , now the step mother is maltreating him whilst his own mother is alive .

He should be taught a lesson, pikin wey say him mama no go sleep him sef no go see sleep for eye.

A child is a child and an adult is adult.

We don't punish children with the hand of an adult.
Children are allowed to make mistakes without having it wreck their lives forever.

If that child is being maltreated in his father's house, leaving him there is unforgivable.

His mother is Abroad, let him communicate with his mother atleast, and with possible plans of relocation if he behaves better and finishes school well.

Unless his mother is ashamed of being a single mom, which I suspect.