Zupay:

I will be firmer with him not disturbing me because he can't even dare communicate with any of his mother's siblings because he really made them look foolish.. ..he is no longer welcomed in my uncle's home (his grandparents home) ..they no longer feel comfortable having him around them though he has tried to apologize.

CSTRR:

Children are allowed to make mistakes without having it wreck their lives forever.

If that child is being maltreated in his father's house, leaving him there is unforgivable. let him communicate with his mother atleast, and with possible plans of relocating

Zupay:
Thank you all for your insights. I won't disturb my cousin anymore regarding him.

I will be firmer with him not disturbing me because he can't even dare communicate with any of his mother's siblings because he really made them look foolish when he was behaving as if his father was the wronged party and he is no longer welcomed in my uncle's home (his grandparents home) because it was to my uncle's hearing in one of the times he said he would change his surname, so they no longer feel comfortable having him around them though he has tried to apologize.

Mindlog:
The mother should continue to ignore him because bringing him to the UK will be a huge mistake on her part, as the boy would so frustrate her.

Let him enjoy his father's love and care, the mother has tried.

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

spinna:


I swear Karma dish am to am hot hot.. it's not good to be callous and wicked especially in family .. disloyal child.. she would regret seriously if she brings him to the uk.. let him face his Nigerian life for now and learn loyalty going forward.

acewines:



Awon japa crew don show face

Janesouthall:


Na wa ooo....so all you are interested in this story is the cousin contact....shey ladies don Finnish for ur area ni....

PapaHadum:
Foolishness runs in that lineage.

That foolish son and his father may kill that gullible woman even in UK




🤔👌

100fix:



You are a very wicked person, yourself, if you don’t stop disturbing your cousin.

I hope you haven’t disturbed her to that extent.

The pressure from you can disturb her state of mind and make her begin to think of bringing the boy over. The boy is probably already doing internet fraud, or into various bad things.



Someone that sees this as an opportunity, instead of saying I’m no longer worthy to be called your child, take me as an hired servant I.e. I know I have done wrong, just forgive me first is all on my mind, he is busy having dreams of uk life.

Completely unrepentant, he will only wreck havoc there and drag her back and probably beat his mum, when he grows up with strange elements that’s are worse than him in the uk.

Let him show he’s doing something for himself, like some people have mentioned, probably even finish first degree in with good results. That will be a very good benchmark. And then watch him closely to see his mental posture.

He’s still young, There’s time. Let him prove himself, kind of like his mother did.

Or else, forget about him completely.

And it’s against the Word of God for his mother to remarry when she has a living partner as in Corinthians.

Richy4:

Be firm with him when issues of UK or joining her mother comes up.. but other than that, please be nice...he is a teenager and they make mistakes...It won't be Ok for him to know that no one cares...U are the only link now between him and his mother's siblings... Apply wisdom on this buddy...

Teenagers of this days are not strong as the '80s and '90s... Every little thing, their mind goes on suicide... Just hang in there for him man no matter how exhausting it might be... That's the ugly and challenging part of being an uncle... I wish that title can be renounced sometimes..

Mokason288:

Please can I have your cousin sisters contact

I’m seriously searching for a wife

Starships4u:


The boy felt he has grown....
So let him fend for himself...
Let the mom support him from a distance tho... That way she'd regain her respect where he is without being close to affect her mental health.

Saintmary:


She can marry, she has never been married before.

freshboy88:


Na wife you dey find abi you wan japa? 😁😁😁

100fix:


The moment you and your partner sincerely exchange promises to marry. That’s as good as married in the sight of God.

Mindlog:


I don japa, tey tey!😜

id4sho:
If I b pikin, na to threaten the mother with suicide. Look for picture of sniper and rat poison and give 6am for shock news. She no go sleep that night.

Honestly, the father has gaslighted him. Tell him how wicked his grandparents and mother is, not using his father's name unlike his classmates. That boy is still small, am sure he's missing his grandparents house, pampering, spoiling and endless love

undisputedKOC:
Your cousin is a very useless mother. Was it her son that told her to be a wayward useless community slut sleeping around with boys in the hood at her tender teenage years; or did the boy ask to be born by irresponsible parents?

I repeat your cousin is a very useless mother and that UK she thinks she can repackage herself to deceive another man to marry her immature slut self, she will never succeed. May she end up with UK drug addicts a d sex love-vendor traffickers that will show her shege as Karma for choosing to abandon and disown her son over her own irresponsibility.

Bastard Olosho wey dey disguise. May God reward the uncle that foot the bills to raise the boy. His future is surely bright and by the time he becomes a full grown successful man, he will reward everyone according to their deeds, especially that bastard mother

Klass99:


I am not saying we didn't make mistakes or we were perfect, but some if not most of us had enough sense within to stop us in our tracks when we were going overboard or starting to really get it wrong. Not only because of that innate ability I mentioned but also because of the training and upbringing received at home and in school.

From the story this boy was surrounded by love and wonderful grand-parents, whom ﹰI am sure did good, did right and did well by him, including his mother. I know people can grow and change, but a reconciliation should not be forced on the mother, if she doesn't want. Whether the boy changes or not, it is not by force to reunite them or for him to japa to the UK.



This user's post best describes me, like him I am staying child free abeg. Motherhood does not interest me. I cannot deal, especially with children like this teenager and someone's sister on front page. I was not made for unnecessary stress and strain, marriage and kids are life choices o, not mandatory goals or achievements. I have a choice, I get to choose. If I were a mother, I know with every fiber in my being that I will be the sort of mother who does what OP's cousin has done. No child will wreck me mentally or emotionally because I chose to birth them fa.

ipobarecriminals:
I stop reading at "my cousin, the boy mother snubbed him" That's very good. Tell your cousin to change her number. Such unruly boy is dangerous. Make he nor go constitute nuisance in UK or even kill the mother. Let him sit his black a$s in Nigeria. If he dare enter UK, una go collect. Useless, good for nothing 👦