LoudlyMouthed:

But seeing everyday becomes an eyesore.
You could however be 1 of the 100,000 wives who wouldn't. But how bout him - is he among the 1 or the 100,000?

In the first 2-4weeks of marriage, many love to have their partners around them always (honeymoon mode activated)

First 6months, many want to have their partners around the house but love to add little spices by creating moments that'll mk them be wanted (trying to conceive mode activated)

First 2yrs, most would prefer going through normal day to day activities without seeing each other till evening (family mode activated)

First 10yrs, most would prefer not seeing each other for at least 2days or more so as to rekindle the quest to be loved/wanted by their partners..


The reality remains: seeing everyday become an eyesore

Huge fallacy. Husband and wife are expected to stay together. Distance marriage is very bad.

Honestly i love ur reasoning. So martured. It pains me that they are only few people like u dat thinks this way. Our men will be behaving like babies. Honnestly u are too much man. Cheers

SeaTrade:
As uncouth as this sounds,I think it is true.
Trying to monitor what happens in your absence is unecessary headache and a waste of time.
And most tunes if you stay away for too long,one of these boys with long,curved dick must perforate your woman wotoporiously
Most people in this setting survived by taking these thoughts out of their minds ,not that it didn't happen.
Make peace with sharing your woman with some other people and you will be fine.

ify84: Husband and wife are expected to stay together.

But when it's like the case of our dear @OP nko?

Okosin:
I am an engineer working in Port Harcourt while my wife is a public health worker working in Abuja. May 2023 will make us two years in marriage. We are expecting out First child soonest.
Sometimes i just feel frustrated at the whole thing but then We still have to make ends meet. We have applied for jobs in each others location all to no avail. I am becoming tired of the whole situation especially with the coming of our child. I need meaningful advice on what to do.p

Hmm you dey complain about intercountry . I know couples who have to contend with between continents Canada & Nija and Uk & Nija.
Most women are disciplined and can stay faithful . It’s the man that has issues. Things that have sustained such marriages are
1. The woman understands the man is not faithful/saint and will cheat . You can sow your seed but don’t come home with a child or tell me you have impregnated a woman.
1a. Don’t flaunt 1 above in her face remember 2 can play the game. In fact, I know a friend who tells his side -chicks “ Listen , I am married . Do not ask for a key or to cook. Let’s enjoy the moment ! “
2. Daily video calls - no excuses .
3. Wedding ring/bands - wearing doesn’t prevent but it’s a deterrent, a reminder that you belong to someone else.
4. If you have a friend to watch each other. Just drop in unannounced to see each others welfare .
5. Belong to a group where your status is known. Usually hanging out with people of same mindset so that you aren’t bored.

Marriage needs money, no body should resign. Both of you need to be busy too.

Don't joke with visiting them as much as you can.

I believe the baby will strengthen your bond and make it easier. The women always cherish it, you know, a piece of you in them for 9 months and to hold and care for.

But suggest she gets pregnant ASAP so she could get some company from the child(ren) while he's away.[/quote]

This is one of the worst things to happen to your marriage and wife. Your wife and baby NEED and DESERVE all your attention during pregnancy and in the early years of life. It would be best if you were not absent during this period. Why should a woman go through pregnancy alone and raising up a baby alone?

Today, we get to clamour for paternity leave for daddies so that they can be entirely on the ground when their baby arrives. We are screaming that daddies should have their work hours reduced and flexible so that they can do school runs, attend PTAs and help their kids with assignments - so that they can properly mentor and groom them.

Furthermore, the arrival of children is one of the biggest causes of division between couples. the women are easily tempted to get attached to the children. for every year that passes and for every child that is born, the woman detaches from the man as her attention and affection are on the baby. And this is the reason why many marriages, 10 years and above, especially those that are 15, 20 years and above usually end in Divorce.

By the time the children are grown, you realize there is nothing between the couple except raising the kids.

Based on my experience as a marriage and family therapist and also a family law lawyer, I would never suggest you have a kid in a long-distance marriage. The child may look like a blessing, but in the long run, the coming of the child (not necessarily the Child) may be a curse to the marriage if you don't manage it well (and many people don't manage it well).

Okosin:
I am an engineer working in Port Harcourt while my wife is a public health worker working in Abuja. May 2023 will make us two years in marriage. We are expecting out First child soonest.
Sometimes i just feel frustrated at the whole thing but then We still have to make ends meet. We have applied for jobs in each others location all to no avail. I am becoming tired of the whole situation especially with the coming of our child. I need meaningful advice on what to do.p

Let your wife move in to Port plan a 2-3 month savings together and make her learn some online job skills for the main time, meanwhile getting jobs presently required strategy.

Black man & woman, marriage, children, money & co.

And you lots are still at the bottom rung of the social ladder amongst other races.

As the country dey boil so, na your marriage be Nigerian problem.

*hisses*

Sir, you have to choose between these 2 options:

1. Family

2. Money.


Generally, most people who chose money over family lived to regret it.

You gave him a solid advise.
Thank you.

earlalright:

But suggest she gets pregnant ASAP so she could get some company from the child(ren) while he's away.

This is one of the worst things to happen to your marriage and wife. Your wife and baby NEED and DESERVE all your attention during pregnancy and in the early years of life. It would be best if you were not absent during this period. Why should a woman go through pregnancy alone and raising up a baby alone?

Today, we get to clamour for paternity leave for daddies so that they can be entirely on the ground when their baby arrives. We are screaming that daddies should have their work hours reduced and flexible so that they can do school runs, attend PTAs and help their kids with assignments - so that they can properly mentor and groom them.

Furthermore, the arrival of children is one of the biggest causes of division between couples. the women are easily tempted to get attached to the children. for every year that passes and for every child that is born, the woman detaches from the man as her attention and affection are on the baby. And this is the reason why many marriages, 10 years and above, especially those that are 15, 20 years and above usually end in Divorce.

By the time the children are grown, you realize there is nothing between the couple except raising the kids.

Based on my experience as a marriage and family therapist and also a family law lawyer, I would never suggest you have a kid in a long-distance marriage. The child may look like a blessing, but in the long run, the coming of the child (not necessarily the Child) may be a curse to the marriage if you don't manage it well (and many people don't manage it well).

Your own is even very good that you have the opportunity of meeting your wife atleast once or twice a month. Mine, i have being out of the country since August last year and no solid plan of when am meeting/seeing my wife nor my few days old second child. The truth remains that it's challenging but the future of your kids should give you courage to remain steadfast and focused. It's never going to remain like this forever. Cheers for better a tomorrow.

U are a bit lucky u stay in same country.
In my own case , I stay in south africa, she's somewhere far in Europe (bahrain ) to be preside

Sometimes loving someone from afar is very hard.

LoudlyMouthed:

And how many decades of anniversary have you celebrated?

How many decades as she celebrated on earth? Are you okay? If you are a product of failed marriage institution, that doesn't translate that everyone else is and no one can get it right. Our parents are decades together and still going stronger, we will follow their footsteps by marrying rightly not just because of temporal factors that will diminish in few years and make us separate.

LoudlyMouthed:

You're still v.young in the lifelong learning institution.

For you, How much do you love n respect your wife?

Cos, ask yourself, if the opportunity comes for flirting, partying/clubbing, your hot ex, direct request for sex from a v.hot lady in your private apartment far away from home, what's gonna happen?

For her, How much do you know and trust your wife?

Cos, ask yourself, if the opportunity comes for flirting, girls chat, her ex, indirect request for sex comes from a hot guy or rich client in her workplace, what's gonna happen?

This is true my married ex has been disturbing me since, the tension will always be there.

The truth is that ; that’s not God kind of marriage a woman is supposed to be a home builder while a man a breadwinner but devil deceived the world and they turned everything upside down.

Lamanii22:
Not seeing my husband a whole day is hard not to talk of living apart…. I don’t think I can deal 😴😴

Mtsww no be woman? When money is involved is there anything you can't do

stevebond007:
Phone seggz... perhaps

Hahahhahahaha

Married but living apart is like not being married. You'll both get use to staying separate and will most likely go your separate ways on the long run if you are not God fearing.

concho:
Hmmmm

Women!!!! , who trusts em??

She was seeing people in Abuja prior to the marriage and I know she convinced you to believe that she is going to make it clear to them that she is married now right?

Women!!!! , even the religious extremists among them, hmmm!!!

Who no go nogo know.

For this marriage to work, one would have to make a compromise with his/her location.

This freedom you guys are enjoying now will backfire on the long run.

When mine happened, even the mum, siblings and friends swore that she couldn't do such, but I had evidence.

All women are not the same right?

. women are pretenders they can't do without D

Rubyjade:
It never works. Women are emotional beings out of site is out of mind.

It may be true especially if she has high libido

Austus2011:
It's not advisable at all, my marriage crashed after 10 months as a result of distance marriage. Abeg find all means to unite with your family as it's still young.

Are you a man or a woman?

techcoms:
It's not worth it. My wife moved to American with my son for her Masters less than 3 months living in US, she started telling me about divorce that her siblings she is staying with can not keep taking care of her because she is a married woman. Currently ininky speak to my son only on weekends.

Holychildnwa:
Haa,this so me right now,I married my wife this year January,after the marriage my wife got a job as a health worker(government hospital)in one of the state in Eastern part is f the country while I reside in Abuja.and am a government worker.Seriously is not easy just trying to make a beautiful future.Am so lucky because I married her as a virgin and I have never seen a chance to doubt her.

You are so lucky virgin where do you guys meet women

LoudlyMouthed:

You're still v.young in the lifelong learning institution.

For you, How much do you love n respect your wife?

Cos, ask yourself, if the opportunity comes for flirting, partying/clubbing, your hot ex, direct request for sex from a v.hot lady in your private apartment far away from home, what's gonna happen?

For her, How much do you know and trust your wife?

Cos, ask yourself, if the opportunity comes for flirting, girls chat, her ex, indirect request for sex comes from a hot guy or rich client in her workplace, what's gonna happen?

That's the kind of marriage am in right now, am in Delta state asaba my husband resides in Edo state. For four years now it's been like this, both of us been working apart and with two kids I can tell u it's not easy for me expecially. Asides d wahala with my two daughters (children getting sick and only me running around d hospital, dropping them in school combined that with government work) I think I prefer it. Ask me Why: NOW I will highlights d pro and cons below

PRO
1.NO FIGHT OR QUARRELS AS SEEN IN MOST COUPLES LIVING TOGETHER
2.FAMILY MEMBERS FROM BOTH SIDE FIND IT HARD TO INTERFERE IN YOUR MARRIAGE since both aren't living together, they rarely visit so they find it extremely difficult to draw conclusion on you or your husband's behavior.
3.MOST MEN BECOME MARRIED BACHELOR, you have all the time and resources to still execute plans u would have executed if u were still single since u have a working class and supportive wife who is not actively dependent on you for survival. You can proceed with ur MSc degree or Ph.D with little or no challenges
4. YOU MISS EACH OTHER ALOT

CONS
1.SEX LIFE IS ALMOST ZERO
2. IT'S A MORE EXPENSIVE MARRIAGE ARRANGEMENTS (I rented in asaba, he rents in Edo, I buy gas in asaba, he buys in Edo, I cook in asaba, he cooks in Edo, almost everything in our house in asaba is also there in Edo) I haven't mentioned transport money for frequent visits and recharge card money for lengthy calls
3. ROOM FOR INFIDELITY expecially from the husband's side. You re practically treating new infection all d time and u can't remember sleeping with any other person other than your dear husband.
4. ACCIDENT OR KIDNAPPED since he's always shuttling two states (Godforbit sha)
5. DISTRACTION FROM WORK (for example my husband is starting to contemplate on starting a business instead of working under someone. because when our kids are seriously sick, he's uncomfortable and take excuse frequently from work just to come and visit which most bosses don't like)
6. PREGNANCY/TRUST ISSUES, you are constantly afraid of your hubby getting another woman pregnant or you getting pregnant for another man, and this type of pregnancy can lead to marriage failure/divorce if not handled carefully. using myself as a case study, am constantly afraid my husband might get a girl pregnant and she gives birth to a baby boy while I have two daughters, am yet to bear him a male child.

SO IF YOU'RE SOMEONE WHO LIKES THE TRUTH AND CAN HANDLE IT, THESE ARE THE BASICS COMING FROM SOMEONE ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN A LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE, SO IT'S LEFT FOR COUPLES TO DECIDE. THANKS FOR READING!!!

Willybee04:
U are a bit lucky u stay in same country.
In my own case , I stay in south africa, she's somewhere far in Europe (bahrain ) to be preside

Bahrain is west Asia my bro. And what on earth is she doing in that racist infested place?

Dickson178:
you too like fvck with someone's wife the way I am seeing you 😅

Nah…I can’t Bleep another man’s wife when there are plenty young girls available. But I don’t see the kind of money a young couple is looking for in the early stage of their marriage

Very interesting marriage. I was away for the first 4 years in my marriage and anytime my husband and I meet, it’s always renewed and interesting. Long distance relationship makes the hearts grows fonder of each other.
You both just need to discipline yourself. I also gave birth during this time and we still scale through gloriously. The fire, love, romance at that time cannot be compared to now when see finish don too much
Note: I was outside the country and hubby was in Nigeria. We see each other like 4 to 5 times in a year. So you are lucky that you two live in the same country

Humm

ROYH:
Na aproko you be.. You're going off-point comrade.. Stay on the picture we're painting

Comrade off your mic, 🎤...don't you know that this evidence part can be beneficial