FRANCISTOWN:

I so much love your opening statement. Marriage has outlived it's importance. I'll keep coming up with reasons guys should not marry. Guys have been underestimated, our pride has been trampled on. It's a man's world but the women are rulling now, we need to get it right again.

Bro pls ignore all the counter points and carry on with your mission

advanceDNA:


Lol....I am playing victim?? This is not about me...we are talking about the op......so how am i playing victim......please explain...

Oh..so u know this is a public forum...so he has the right to pen down his views...just as u have the right to comment...so why say nobody asked him for his opinion??

Again u are boxing the dude and commiting fallacy.... Learning from home is learning from just two persons out of a large societal sample size...

there are other overwhelming evidences in the society that could make him say marriage is a bunch of nonsense... its his view....

.... u asked how u invalidated his view..mayb u should read ur comment again and perhaps u will see ur own small dose of toxicity..

I always feel you, I swr.
Anybody with high reasoning capability would even know that marriages in the 70s were different from marriages we have now. The kinds of music people listened to in the 70s were different from the ones they listen to now. Likewise anyone with reasoning would know that marriages in this era of social media and internet are different from the ones without.

advanceDNA:


U are calling his views irrelevant...why?? U sound like u are taking it personal.....
Marriage is a serious matter and a lot of pple enter it conventionaly....so the op's views might help some pple audit their lives and see if marriage is truly what they want or something they are doing because their parents and society expects from.... for someone that doesnt want to get married, its weird that u dont reapect another person's view about marriage, calling it irrelevant.....

If u like keep ur opinion to yourself.....thats ur choice....its is choice to think out loud on nairaland...

Also, someone said "This is a public forum, they are free to comment" . The internet is like a global village. That doesn't mean if I'm having a meeting with the members of my club you are allowed to come without invitation. When I'm throwing a party and you are not invited, you do not have the right to invite yourself just because we live in the same village. Don't mind them man! I clearly stated at the beginning of the thread that anyone who has a counter opinion can go ahead to create a thread where they can all discuss the advantages of marriage, they read but they don't understand.

Banilla:
As they should...

If you take this advise of a man whose parents are happily married, you deserve to live and die single... Let's better men pass their genes. They would be doing the world a favour.

Let's forget most of them can't afford to raise a family, can't even feed themselves. Marriage is the least of their problems.

You can actually pass your message without being bitter

virginprincess:
That is exactly what i'm asking the so called op,such a liar.

Whatever bro!

FRANCISTOWN:


Also, someone said "This is a public forum, they are free to comment" . The internet is like a global village. That doesn't mean if I'm having a meeting with the members of my club you are allowed to come without invitation. When I'm throwing a party and you are not invited, you do not have the right to invite yourself just because we live in the same village. Don't mind them man! I clearly stated at the beginning of the thread that anyone who has a counter opinion can go ahead to create a thread where they can all discuss the advantages of marriage, they read but they don't understand.

Na woman she go be...na dem dey carry marriage matter for head

advanceDNA:


I'll try and ignore your insult....and no i dont think his post is mischievous...cos what has being honesty or dishosnest got to with a simple line of thought he chose to write about....... must he write in support and against marriage at the same time??

To the honest...there are more samples of bad marriages these days....that may be the reason for his views from a male perspective......its possible he might speak differently when the topic of advantage of being married comes up....but thats not todays topic... u clearly are biased here and cant seem to dissociate ur personal opinion about marriage from the op's view or motive of writting,


If u like...u can speak about men being horrible...thats fine u are not wrong....still doesnt chnage the fact that men are also great

You are speaking my mind
The Topic says Disadvantages of Marrying a wife (for guys).
Would I also go on to list some advantages in-line with Disadvantages.
We are talking about disadvantages, not Features or compare and contrast.
You've not noticed that the problem many people have is related to comprehension??

Uniquetani1:
See Losers, you don't want marriage technically you don't want the female gender in your life.
Most of them (esp. OP) dey cry follow woman offline.
Na only the gullible go for fall for this fake life boys

Whatever bro!

FRANCISTOWN:

You are speaking my mind
The Topic says Disadvantages of Marrying a wife (for guys).
Would I also go on to list some advantages in-line with Disadvantages.
We are talking about disadvantages, not Features or compare and contrast.
You've not noticed that the problem many people have is related to comprehension??

They understand......their own personal view r love for marriage is just making them bias when approaching the topic

Kobojunkie:
Like everything else in life, marriage is garbage-in-garbage-out. When two people go into a marriage, they each make decide what their marriage will turn out to be in the end. Marriage after all is an agreement between a man and a woman — a business contract of sorts. And like businesses, you are bound to find some that last even a lifetime, while others may collapse just as they are starting. There is nothing new or magical about these things.

2. That is not true given that we humans have been shown to do exactly that in some cases. So you cannot make such fallacious generalizations and expect to be taken seriously.

Thank you, you have won. Carry your trophy and go in peace.

Kobojunkie:
Because you have absolutely no clue as far as God is concerned.

Okay, thank you! You have won. Carry the trophy and go in peace

Kobojunkie:
God doesn't need to do any such since the book is written in human language and meant to be comprehended in much the same way you would any texts written in the same human language. However, what remains clear is your lot, including those of you who claim to be more aware, turn your brains off when it comes to the processing of the writings in scripture.

That you have yet to realize even at this point in your journey that an interpretation amounts to a lie, means you should probably stick to that which you are in fact able to comprehend without needing to inject delusions that you call interpretations.

Sir! Bring counter points from the same scripture. Then we can talk, aside that: carry your trophy and go in peace. You have won.

FRANCISTOWN:


The bible is not secret or banned book, anyone who is interested may bring it. God didn't come down from heaven to explain the bible to anyone. Everyone interpretes according to their understanding, so nobody, I repeat, nobody has the rights to tell me I need not to bring in God, na only you get the God?

The interpretation of the bible requires wisdom and inspiration from the holy spirit. Anyone who doesn't have this will continue to misinterpret the bible.

"Marriage isn't God's institution"
That right there shows you don't know what you're saying. I don't have time, I'd have proven it to you biblically.

Truvelisback:
God created Eve for Adam. So, what would u say abt?

Eve was created a help meet. And anybody who is available can be a help meet, your immediate neighbor may be your help meet when you have clothes on the line and it's about to rain.
Mention where God created a wife for Adam.

okrikaboi:
No need for this thread allow them to marry. I have never seen a happy marriage. They may exist but are very rare. The ones we think are happy are not, go and live with them for three months and they will stop pretending in front of you!

We are not meant to spend a major of our lives with one human. Loneliness is bad but marriage is not a cure for loneliness.

Of all the bunkum that I've read this year, this outranks them all. Every day, you guys keep churning threads (mostly based on shallow and biased mindset) about why marriage is bad.

For once, there's not a single one of you who has defined or explained what marriage really entails. To you folks, it's still the same dynamics of relationship that is formed based on needs and wants. Little wonder you keep reeling negative statistics to butress your myopic view.

Let me give you the first expose about marriage. To know what marriage entails, both parties need to understand that marriage is a human interaction. It's a condition in which both parties will act upon each other to produce an 'effect'. The 'effect' that will be produced depend solely on the level of interaction. If the OP and his gang of harebrained comrades understand half of what I typed above, then, they will stop critisizing marriage because just like every other human interaction (business and politics especially), the result is dependent on how the participants act upon one another. The great Socrates was right when he said; 'By all means marry, if you find a good wife, you'll be happy. But if you find a bad one, you'll become a philosopher'.

saladinnoir:


Bro pls ignore all the counter points and carry on with your mission

Those ones?
There is a Yoruba adage that says "A colony of clusters of bed bugs cannot lift a pillow". I am the pillow the Yorubas were referring to.

advanceDNA:


They understand......their own personal view r love for marriage is just making them bias when approaching the topic

But honestly, I've not used any derogatory word towards women in any of my post. , I've been careful to only focus on the guys. Truly their love for marriage will flaw their observations

Albertone:

The interpretation of the bible requires wisdom and inspiration from the holy spirit. Anyone who doesn't have this will continue to misinterpret the bible.
"Marriage isn't God's institution"
That right there shows you don't know what you're saying. I don't have time, I'd have proven it to you biblically.

John 16:13 Jesus said the Holy Spirit cannot speak of himself but whatever he(Jesus) asks him to speak. And Jesus said "God in the begining created them man and woman" not husband and wife.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Is there any one here who thinks that this guy is just trying to find how to cope with the fact that he knows that he can never marry because he won't be prospering for a very long time!

ravensckar:
Of all the bunkum that I've read this year, this outranks them all. Every day, you guys keep churning threads (mostly based on shallow and biased mindset) about why marriage is bad.

For once, there's not a single one of you who has defined or explained what marriage really entails. To you folks, it's still the same dynamics of relationship that is formed based on needs and wants. Little wonder you keep reeling negative statistics to butress your myopic view.

Let me give you the first expose about marriage. To know what marriage entails, both parties need to understand that marriage is a human interaction. It's a condition in which both parties will act upon each other to produce an 'effect'. The 'effect' that will be produced depend solely on the level of interaction. If the OP and his gang of harebrained comrades understand half of what I typed above, then, they will stop critisizing marriage because just like every other human interaction (business and politics especially), the result is dependent on how the participants act upon one another. The great Socrates was right when he said; 'By all means marry, if you find a good wife, you'll be happy. But if you find a bad one, you'll become a philosopher'.

Thanks! Now you can quietly leave this thread and go on to create your own thread with the advantages of marriage. Your opinion is not needed hia.

Dtruthspeaker:
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Is there any one here who thinks that this guy is just trying to find how to cope with the fact that he knows that he can never marry because he won't be prospering for a very long time!

All love man!

FRANCISTOWN:
Remember this "A man will not kill his wife to elope with another woman, but a woman will not hesitate to eliminate her husband to elope with her new found adventure"

I personally do not support lack of sexual discipline and sexual immorality. Science and philosophy have it that anyone who is unable to control his sexual urge has not fully developed into homo sapiens and may be likened to an animal. But guys , I do not have the right to set anyone on the right path of life. If having multiple sexual partners makes you feel okay, fine! let everyone find their course

Now that we've laid the foundation, I'll start by sharing 2 true life stories, and I'll be giving the addresses of where they happened (just for verification sake) also note that: These people will not rebuke me for sharing these stories. They are even more than willing for other people to learn

Until I read the stories before I know what to say or write/

Albertone:
I agree with only a few of your points.
You need not use God to prove your point because you're twisting things and getting them wrong.

My submission:
People in relationships quit easily and anytime they are not feeling themselves anymore.
In marriage, if you want to quit, your religious leaders, in-laws, families, friends, elders etc will all appeal to you. Even the judge might not grant you the divorce.
This will force you to put up with emotional, psychological, mental, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse.

Lack of freedom of choice to quit is a major reason I don't like marriage.
Everyone will want to salvage the marriage you're not interested in any longer.

At the bolded......the reason men don't like to grant divorce is women want to quit with life long benefits..........as if divorce is equal to retirement...........


Divorce will be the easiest if partners wouldn't make demands.......they refer to it as divorce settlements...........why will you file for divorce with throat cutting demand...

ravensckar:
Of all the bunkum that I've read this year, this outranks them all. Every day, you guys keep churning threads (mostly based on shallow and biased mindset) about why marriage is bad.

For once, there's not a single one of you who has defined or explained what marriage really entails. To you folks, it's still the same dynamics of relationship that is formed based on needs and wants. Little wonder you keep reeling negative statistics to butress your myopic view.

Let me give you the first expose about marriage. To know what marriage entails, both parties need to understand that marriage is a human interaction. It's a condition in which both parties will act upon each other to produce an 'effect'. The 'effect' that will be produced depend solely on the level of interaction. If the OP and his gang of harebrained comrades understand half of what I typed above, then, they will stop critisizing marriage because just like every other human interaction (business and politics especially), the result is dependent on how the participants act upon one another. The great Socrates was right when he said; 'By all means marry, if you find a good wife, you'll be happy. But if you find a bad one, you'll become a philosopher'.

Doesn't change the fact that 90% of married people just want to be single again! The courts are choked up with divorce cases, I don't see a reason why I have to gamble my freedom when I can live a fulfilled life without a wife.

Kobojunkie:
Like everything else in life, marriage is garbage-in-garbage-out. When two people go into a marriage, they each make decide what their marriage will turn out to be in the end. Marriage after all is an agreement between a man and a woman — a business contract of sorts. And like businesses, you are bound to find some that last even a lifetime, while others may collapse just as they are starting. There is nothing new or magical about these things.

2. That is not true given that we humans have been shown to do exactly that in some cases. So you cannot make such fallacious generalizations and expect to be taken seriously.

so marriage is a gamble then? You just shot yourself in the leg! If your marriage is great congratulations! It's a matter of choice I did not impose anything, just attend divorce proceedings for one week and watch how men like you shed tears as their heavenly sweet marriages turn into raw pepper! Interview random men and you'll see that most men get married for shallow reasons.

okrikaboi:
■ so marriage is a gamble then?
■ You just shot yourself in the leg! If your marriage is great congratulations!
■ It's a matter of choice I did not impose anything, just attend divorce proceedings for one week and watch how men like you shed tears as their heavenly sweet marriages turn into raw pepper! Interview random men and you'll see that most men get married for shallow reasons.

1. Relationship, life, business, etc., has always been a gamble. We are gamblers — all of us — taking the gamble each and every day we wake up hoping for better luck than the days before.

2. How can I shoot myself in the foot for stating it exactly as it is and has been from the beginning of time?

3. Forget marriage for one minute and consider even your ordinary boy-gal relationship. People shed tears after each break-up but before you know it, the same folks are already pining for and even jumping headfirst into the next opportunity that comes their way. Ever wonder why? It is the same thing you see that is observed in marriage relationships. They cry and wail and before you know it, they are back again into another one of them giving you all the reasons they can come up with to justify the decision. No matter what and how shallow you judge their reasons to be, the fact is, we are all of us gamblers and we will gamble when we feel lucky.

Marriage, in and of itself does not promise anything to anyone — it is simply an agreement between a man and a woman, a relationship. It is up to the man and the woman in the relationship to decide what value to give the marriage and how long it will last. Marriage is a neutral party in all as the advantages and/or disadvantages are solely determined by the parties in the marriage. And best of all, like buying a car or a new pair of shoes, it is a choice.

Kobojunkie:
1. Relationship, life, business, etc., has always been a gamble. We are gamblers — all of us — taking the gamble each and every day we wake up hoping for better luck than the days before.

2. How can I shoot myself in the foot for stating it exactly as it is and has been from the beginning of time?

3. Forget marriage for one minute and consider even your ordinary boy-gal relationship. People shed tears after each break-up but before you know it, the same folks are already pining for and even jumping headfirst into the next opportunity that comes their way. Ever wonder why? It is the same thing you see that is observed in marriage relationships. They cry and wail and before you know it, they are back again into another one of them giving you all the reasons they can come up with to justify the decision. No matter what and how shallow you judge their reasons to be, the fact is, we are all of us gamblers and we will gamble when we feel lucky.

Marriage, in and of itself does not promise anything to anyone — it is simply an agreement between a man and a woman, a relationship. It is up to the man and the woman in the relationship to decide what value to give the marriage and how long it will last. Marriage is a neutral party in all as the advantages and/or disadvantages are solely determined by the parties in the marriage. And best of all, like buying a car or a new pair of shoes, it is a choice.

if one is not marrying for economic, political and related reasons, then it's a complete waste of time. Why gamble when you win nothing! Even the random relationships I have had were always strategic ones and I do not get my heart broken because investing emotions is a very stupid venture. Marriage must be for serious strategic reasons like forming alliances and raising powerful next generation children otherwise it is useless and the pains that come with it are only there for free!

okrikaboi:
■ if one is not marrying for economic, political and related reasons, then it's a complete waste of time. Why gamble when you win nothing!
■ Even the random relationships I have had were always strategic ones and I do not get my heart broken because investing emotions is a very stupid venture.
■ Marriage must be for serious strategic reasons like forming alliances and raising powerful next generation children otherwise it is useless and the pains that come with it are only there for free!

1. Do you date for any of the reasons listed above? What Mr. A considers a win may not be what Mr. B considers the same. For instance, for the longest in most Nigerian cultures, the men folk have considered having women folk bow to them in marriage, and passing their genes to the next generation has for long been considered a crown of achievement. I think of it as foolishness but to our ancestors, it was the mark of their manhood so to speak.

2. Strategic in the sense that? If you have never gotten your heart broken before, what about the other person who you were supposedly in a relationship with? That person may have invested emotions with hopes that it would yield more than what you went in expecting. Of course, he/she lost out but that is no reason not to try his/her luck again with someone else. We all hope to win, even knowing that the odds may sometimes be against us. The gambler in us refuses to quit because deep down we sometimes fear that if we quit, life itself looses part of its meaning and allure for us, and that is something to fear.

What I am saying is, if we are honest, absolutely nothing in life is worth it. Not even hanging on a moment longer to life is worth it at the end of the day. However, we do it nonetheless, because we want still to believe it can all be worth it. Marriage is just one of those things.

3. It may be that for you but people have very different reasons for pursuing a marriage relationship. And to each, the gamble has got to be worth it.

okrikaboi:
so marriage is a gamble then? You just shot yourself in the leg! If your marriage is great congratulations! It's a matter of choice I did not impose anything, just attend divorce proceedings for one week and watch how men like you shed tears as their heavenly sweet marriages turn into raw pepper! Interview random men and you'll see that most men get married for shallow reasons.

Some people will get it right and some people will never just get it right, my friends who are married are looking for ways to disappear without traces. The only reason some are enduring is because of their children (kids which may not even be theirs). A stupid man says, that cannot happen to me but a wise man will say, that may happen to me, so lemme plan against it.

Off point here

Banilla:
No one asked for my opinion? For your information, this is a forum. If you bring something here, expect a response.

How did a guilt trip him? You just love to play the role of the victim and it's pathetic. Was he insulted? No.

I didn't say he's from a broken home, I tsaid he gives the impression that he is from one.

You learn from your home first. No matter how bad other marriages are, if your parents have a perfect marriage, you would still be hopeful there are others like them. Aren't his parents human? How come their marriage is so great but others are bound to fail? He focused entirely on the negative aspects of marriage, ignoring all the good it did his parents. It's illogical and toxic.

FRANCISTOWN:

Thanks! Now you can quietly leave this thread and go on to create your own thread with the advantages of marriage. Your opinion is not needed hia.

That bad?

ravensckar:
... But if you find a bad one, you'll become a philosopher'.

O Socrates finish the thread.