What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Not a good one at all, but have u tried having a conversation with him regarding his next moves?
It sounds strange that a healthy man will want to wake up and sleep without any ambition.

Sound him out first.. Wake him up from his slumber...

kuse2:
Not a good one at all, but have u tried having a conversation with him regarding his next moves?
It sounds strange that a healthy man will want to wake up and sleep without any ambition.

Sound him out first.. Wake him up from his slumber...

Each time I talk to him about getting a job or his next plan, he always tell me. He have a plan. But I know he don't

all4zionlover:
Each time I talk to him about getting a job or his next plan, he always tell me. He have a plan. But I know he don't

How do you know he doesn't have a plan?

He had money before bah?

But lost to gambling?

Sis, your husband is battling frustration/depression

Help him find his ways back

If you divorce him, na u loose

Mama I no fit lie you

I'm married and experienced

Wat does she lose, Mr. Mama I no fit lie you?

Kingdollar28:



How do you know he doesn't have a plan?

He had money before bah?

But lost to gambling?

Sis, your husband is battling frustration/depression

Help him find his ways back

If you divorce him, na u loose

Mama I no fit lie you

I'm married and experienced

A very dicey and tricky situation to be caught up in, I must tell you.

I pray you to find the wisdom to handle this and come out good in the end.

He helps out in the house with chores, right?

Be vigilant and open-minded.

If he's someone you can smell any whiff of potential in, keep pushing and encouraging him.

His understanding of hustling or "going out to make money" as you submitted might be different from yours.

We all will face downtime in life at some point but not giving up or in will ultimately form the key at the end.

Most men like yours, you disengage from them and within a year, you'd be regretting why and how you lost out at the "almost" hour.

Be wise and keep strong.

Tough times are, but temporary to help us see, and understand our immediate environment plus those around us.

The most important of all is to get him immediate help with his gambling addiction.

Sis, abeg how did he lose his job due to gambling? Did he use company resources to fund his gambling habit? He needs some form of intervention....

You are a strong woman and i commend you on that? Try to put a lil aside for the rainy day, rent and Medical bills.

For your husband, please speak to his parents, a religious leader, mentor or an elder sibling on the need for him to contribute. Odiegwu

E go better.

all4zionlover:
Each time I talk to him about getting a job or his next plan, he always tell me. He have a plan. But I know he don't

Gambling and drugs are dangerous habit one must not come close to not to talk of getting addicted to. Seriously your husband needs serious counselling. You cannot have a family to cater for and be gambling recklessly.

I won't tell you to leave your husband. Maybe you should involve some of his family and I hope he change to good.

all4zionlover:
■ What would you advice in a situation where a husband losses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money. He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing. Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.
The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry. In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?
Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Nobody can decide for you where to draw the line. You need to decide for yourself how much value that Mrs. Man-who-wakes-up-in-the-morning-have-his-bath-put-on-AC-and-goes-back-to-sleep-only-expecting-any-little-thing-wife-can-cook-to . badge holds still.

You alone know how much value you can continue to affix to your Mrs. Man-who-wouldn't-pay-any-bills-or-provide-anything-but-very-humble-helping-out-with-house-cleaning-and-wasking badge.

Have you both considered getting him mental health counseling for his gambling problem, assuming he is need of help and not opposed to receiving it?

It's more than enough reason to send his sorry arse packing. What are you waiting for?

all4zionlover:
Each time I talk to him about getting a job or his next plan, he always tell me. He have a plan. But I know he don't

And when you ask him exactly what the plan is, is he able to tell you anything tangible?

Kingdollar28:
How do you know he doesn't have a plan? He had money before bah? But lost to gambling?
Sis, your husband is battling frustration/depression Help him find his ways back If you divorce him, na u loose Mama I no fit lie you I'm married and experienced

Since when did a wife or husband become a mental health counselor particularly for addiction-related issues?

You claim you are married but have you in fact had to help either your wife or even your son or daughter overcome addiction or are you just mouthing off here when you, in fact, have no real experience dealing with a loved one struggling with addiction problems?

It's tricky but I'm sure this is not the best time to divorce such a man because he is currently in a phase that needs some time to accept reality.

I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him and give him some more time to figure things out. Tell him not to be afraid to share his fears with you, I believe that's why he has relapsed into depression.

If you leave now, you too will suffer so why not put your two heads together and find a way forward.

Gambling is something men should be seeing as leisure, not as career.

Which kind vow Una swear?

That day when them ask you...Do U promise to take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaken all other,..
U opened your well brushed.. Colgate minty mouth.. Lipstick infested lips and 15 megawatts of smile and say I do.. u think say Na play u go play for there?🤭🙊

Make U stayOoo, U supposed to honour the "poorer" aspects of the vow😝

Na that AC part of the story got me laughing...Abi he no dey on AC before when he get job? How come u find it disgusting now?. make you just remove the AC and sell first before he first you remember am😂

Read your bible..The only proper reason for divorce is adultery
Your " till death do us part " vow at the altar wasn't just mere words...


Next time look before you jump into marriage. You surely will have seen the signs before marrying him but you choose to ignore

Naso una dey date/marry gamblers and drunkards and start complaining when it gets worse knowing fully well that such behaviors are bound to get worse naturally

Kingdollar28:



How do you know he doesn't have a plan?

He had money before bah?

But lost to gambling?

Sis, your husband is battling frustration/depression

Help him find his ways back

If you divorce him, na u loose

Mama I no fit lie you

I'm married and experienced

Tell me one good reason why she will loose if she divorce him

all4zionlover:
Each time I talk to him about getting a job or his next plan, he always tell me. He have a plan. But I know he don't

Well such a situation is not really enough for a divorce

His case may be that of a lazy man who wants the good things of life yet doesn't want to struggle

He lost his earning to gambling not even investing into his family

I think separation is the way out

Alternatively, just ignore him and make sure you take care of your children, especially on feeding and education

So far he is not a beating you or abusing you in any way

When he can't get any freebies from you, he will dust his shoes

Men endure the joblessness of their wives but woman will feed a man for some few short months and complain will full every where.
You don't have any reason to divorce him, the offence of his maybe lazyness and that is not a crime.

Wake him out of it with much love. Make sure you don't nag.

Firstly, Nigeria in its current phase isn't encouraging for any mentally sane person to startup a business let alone getting a new job.
The election has really put somany people into depression.

If he was sacked from work cos of his gambling habits, its important you help him talk to his parents or close friends that aren't into gambling reason because you're the only one he can talk to that's why you know he gambles.

He's very free and transparent with you so start a business together if you can run the business and him being the delivery guy if the business needs logistics..you guys just have 2 kids n complaining like this?.

Who pays the rent?, plus little bills?. Do you have a job? How do you support the family?. Its not my business how you get the cash but how often do you contribute?. Everyman has his "lows" in life and you shouldn't be part of the problem rather be a solution. When he's on his feet again, he'll even change he's property's name to yours cos he knows your worth..

And remember, please do not cheat on him cos your head aswell is working ×5 of what supposed to and if you aren't strong enough, You might get caught up in an "entanglement" and that will be a trigger for your kids fatherlessness.. Please focus on the solution not the problem. Marriage na problem on its own let alone being a father, mother even kids that dont contribute complain why they're born into their homes.. Every home get problem even rich n poor.. Speaking from what I've experienced nd seen.. GOODLUCK

Kingdollar28:



How do you know he doesn't have a plan?

He had money before bah?

But lost to gambling?

Sis, your husband is battling frustration/depression

Help him find his ways back

If you divorce him, na u loose

Mama I no fit lie you

I'm married and experienced

His money before have always go into gambling.
I have tried several time to save some with me, but he didn't. By now, we would have been on the street begging and suffering if not the fact that I have been hard working on my little business. Put money in my business let it grow, he will not. Come to church and be worshipping so God can help, he will say he's not in the mood. Now, he has nothing and he's not planning on other things.

Kingdollar28:



How do you know he doesn't have a plan?

He had money before bah?

But lost to gambling?

Sis, your husband is battling frustration/depression

Help him find his ways back

If you divorce him, na u loose

Mama I no fit lie you

I'm married and experienced

did you understand the story ? the hubby wakes and turns AC meaning he actually enjoying the comfort of his home while not working

The guy lost his job due to a bad habit gambling
he might be despressed yes but from what we
have been told the wife doesnt know hos next plan

You are married and experienced but it doesnt you have experience every challenge that every married couple go through, challenges can be unique/ or the same but how people react to
them can differ from couple to couple or person to person

You were married to his job not him and since you are looking for validation to leave him, do what comes to mind.His gambling didn’t start now.


Just give him time

gaby:
A very dicey and tricky situation to be and caught up in, I must tell you. .

I pray you to find the wisdom to handle this and come out good in the end.

He helps out in the house with chores, right?

Be vigilant and open-minded.

If he's someone you can smell any whiff of potential in, keep pushing and encouraging him.

His understanding of hustling or "going out to make money" as you submitted might be different from yours.

We all will face downtime in life at some point but not giving up or in will ultimately form the key at the end.

Most men like yours, you disengage from them and within a year, you'd be regretting why and how you lost out at the "almost" hour.

Be wise and keep strong.

Tough times are, but temporary to hell we see and understand our immediate environment plus those around us.

The most important of all is to get him an immediate hell with his gambling addiction.

The gambling addiction, I don't know where and how he can get help. Once he have money now, he wouldn't even tell me before he gambles it away

all4zionlover:
The gambling addiction, I don't know where and how he can get help. Once he have money now, he wouldn't even tell me before he gambles it away

But he has yet to sell the AC and probably generator?

Pls separate from him with immediate effect.

Don't serve him food untill he starts paying the bills and don't do anything for him


Don't divorce except you don't love him and found another man to remarry


Treat him badly so that he can refrain from his gambling habits and get a job

jeff1607:
You were married to his job not him and since you are looking for validation to leave him, do what comes to mind. His gambling didn’t start now.


Just give him time

Married to his job how? Do you even read at all before typing these?
You were suppose to ignore and not comment since you can't assimilate my write up.

Kobojunkie:
But he has yet to sell the AC and probably generator?

He can not do that. They're mine.

LittleBigDick:
Don't serve him food untill he starts paying the bills and don't do anything for him


Don't divorce except you don't love him and found another man to remarry


Treat him badly so that he can refrain from his gambling habits and get a job

He can endure anything. No food, he will lay down there till there's food. Once there's raw food, he will go to kitchen and prepare and eat, but he can never buy them.
He know no matter what, I will buy few things in the house to avoid going to buy little little food items from neighbouring shops.
No close up, bathing soap, cream, everything, he will endure, till I replace them.
He's really annoying.

HONESTFACT101:
TRULY TO BE A MAN IS NOT EASY
when he was working did he not provide for you and the kids
Even when you where pregnant did he provide for you and the kids or not, then you opened no single thread to appreciate him, but immediately a mans world crumbled you are now seeing him as MATTER(Anything that has mass and occupies space)
You dont even care to know what your hubby is going through all you know is he lays down and enjoys A.C which if they check well now na him use him money buy am.

MADAM TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND NIGGER IS VERY DEPRESSED COS YOU DONT KNOW WHAT GAMBLING CAN DO TO A MAN ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU LOOSE IT ALL ^{......signing out✈}

If I should remembered his treatment when he had a job earning salaries, all through my pregnancy, paying bills and all that then, I deserve to kill him. He has never been a caring husband and father to his children.

He has no past good record that can make me think backward and support a jobless husband.