₦airaland Forum

JASONjnr:
I wasn't relating real life to tomato.... But I was only putting you through other things involved when you raise a family other than circling your thoughts to the financial aspect of it.

Get you a working and industrial lady and you will never regret it ...


A friend of mine, a graduate married a graduate. His wife was selling food stuffs at the market, dude resigned and help her at the market... There's enough sell... His wife sponsored her younger brother through university and also built a house for both of them.

If you plan your home, you will resp it plentifully...

What's your advice for the unlucky brothers who marry wrong fits? You know how these things can be. Majority of married men are having it rough.

unbiased2021:
Lol 100k ?
I spend 270k monthly on petrol and energy, marriage no be for everyone

Lol all this lies for what nah?

Hmm..

It is well

DrDunamis:
The Lord is your strength, but it seems like its an experience specially tailored to you as you may have lept into marriage without counting the cost and proper planning

Nothing like experience. I’m just taming the young ones to know that marriage is not sort of an achievement but a big responsibility!

DiamondNimi:
Bro everything is on GOD, is not by might there are couples who marry when they have nothing and still they sort bills

it won’t stand the test of time.

thunderbabs:
What's your advice for the unlucky brothers who marry wrong fits? You know how these things can be. Majority of married men are having it rough.

First, they didn't marry "wrong fits" as the women did not put guns to their heads. So, let's correct that notion abeg!

Second, majority of those men chose the curse of hypogamy as their lot in marriage in order that they could sit as gods over their women in marriage. So, the first step is to admit to their decision being the reason for their circumstance. Denial will never cut it or they will only repeat the same mistake it they had the chance to try again.

Lastly, turning things around would involve working with their spouse towards giving up their godhood in marriage and embracing a format that allows for sharing of responsibilities. Of course in some cases, their spouses would rather opt for divorce.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I believe in gender roles means what to you? It means that I believe in the principle of marriage that says a man must be the sole financial provider and the woman the carer and should tend to the home front/kids. Any other thing apart from this, I’m out. Every man/woman to his sole responsibility. No be fight.

why will a man be sole provider? This is 21st century. two heads is better than one

Katcall:
why will a man be sole provider? This is 21st century. two heads is better than one

Guy, rest abeg. This mantra na for man wey no hold him side.

Adexgentle005:
My brother I couldn’t believe I’ve spent 100k in just two months. Money for this, money for that. It’s really crazy out there! Sometimes I think about that too, is it not better to be single and have peace of mind?

Just try not to dey calculate wetin you dey spend for house (Married person Oo). I stopped doing that a while ago though the urge to calculate dey always come ooo but I dey try my best to avoid am. It will give you more peace of mind.

Kashamadupe and make Baba God dey always provide money for man (na the prayer be that)

Adexgentle005:
My brother I couldn’t believe I’ve spent 100k in just two months. Money for this, money for that. It’s really crazy out there! Sometimes I think about that too, is it not better to be single and have peace of mind?

100k in 2 months na you dey complain? You be lucky man.

Least I spend in a week is 40k, sometimes e dey double that.

How I dey take see dey money na miracle because my salary no reach wetin I spent weekly.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Lol. You must think everyone lives in a lala land. Well, I don’t know about you sha. But, as for me, 500k per month is very feasible and what I have seen and doing. Even more. Selah.

It's you thinking everyone leaves a life of luxury na. If Davido come and tell you too that marriage you need 10million per month shey u will drop mounth for ground.. lol. Life no balance abi

IyaebeTheGreat:
Then you shouldn't be discouraging people about it because you have no experience. I'm 60+ and you should be asking about my grandchildren

You're 60+ with the high level of stupidity you've been displaying on Nairaland?

You're under 18

Islandboi:
Lol, is this what you call an achievements in marriage? You are on a long thing.

Yeah, If such doesn't Gift you Mental Achievements as a Biological Existence then Something is wrong with Your Biological Build up which is Non of My Businesses ....

I rise, If Ya wife born pikin or Carry Belle u no go happy ... E get Wey Poverty dey reset Normal Human Brain upside down and you go think you normal ....

Na ihm make one man drink full big bottle of Chelsea dry gin cuz some some boys dey hail am until everything blank

Adexgentle005:
Tell me what’s so special in marriage? Is it the free sex or what? What are you even justifying??

Bros

Single people have more sex than married people today. Maybe better sex sef...

There is no marriage in heaven. Your wife and you will have no attachment in heaven as husband and wife. Live your life like heaven is the goal. Do what you can, and leave the ones you can't.

Modern marriage favours women in most cases, as men give the best part of their resources servicing the home and these women in the name of being a man.

Men should pray at all times, never enter marriage only out of emotions and be intentional. If the woman shows the slightest sign of disloyalty, the avoid her.

Remember again that all your marriage expenses, dancing etc will end here on earth. Heaven is the goal, and that should be a man's only focus.

This advice goes to women as well.

Your brother

PonziHater

Nawa so much wailing by lots of male posters

I am beginning to think something is wrong with the upbringing and orientation of a lot younger guys that are currently of marriage able age, those born early to mid 90s. There's something inherently wrong with the orientation some of these set have about marriage.

Older guys won't have this orientation I believe.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I know you are happy with this thread anyway as you have always hated marriage. Please, stay single!

Victoria wetin I do you now?

I'm not inclined towards marriage due to personal reasons (of which being a Nigerian is one) doesn't mean I hate it.

You seriously misunderstand me.

Haba!

And as regards his wife supporting him, well it depends on the kind of woman he married.

But what I do know for sure is that many ladies of nowadays do not want to go into marriage with the mentality of supporting if need be.

To them, it's like a non-stop Miami vacation where all the dreams are centred on "my husband will buy me this", "my husband will do that for me", "I like soft life" et all

You can see below threads from your colleague Erimma1:

https://www.nairaland.com/7605305/what-doing-man-cant-meet

https://www.nairaland.com/7607710/see-reason-men-should-left

Perhaps, that's the reason for so much complains. Mind you, I support the notion of the man being the sole provider but a woman should be able to step in, complement, ease the burdens in any areas lacking.

NoToPile:
Nawa so much wailing by lots of male posters

I am beginning to think something is wrong with the upbringing and orientation of a lot younger guys that are currently of marriage able age, those born early to mid 90s. There's something inherently wrong with the orientation some of these set have about marriage.

Older guys won't have this orientation I believe.

Nigeria happened to them.

Adexgentle005:
Good for you. Not everyone is as lucky as you. So you weren’t financially stable when you were single?

I was, I became more stable that is what I meant to type. Like increase in revenue or income.

stevups:
I'm made to tell you, you don't know what you are saying. If you remove responsibility from marriage nothing remains... absolutely nothing!

Absolutely nothing, reason why married men are called responsible men.

ResposiBILLikty everywhere you go..

IyaebeTheGreat:
And who told you it’s normal to have kids without getting married, which religion permits that? You won’t be young forever, and since you started early believe me you’ll be glad you did at the later stage of your life. Just endure the current situation of the country and be hopeful that it won’t last forever. I understand the angle you are coming from.

You are talking of religion, is it religion that will help you with responsibilities? I see why many marriageable guys never marry, Bills will kill you

Adexgentle005:
You don’t get it? Some people do say marriage is an achievement to an extent. What value do marriage add to your life? That’s what i really want to know.

When u marry correctly and with the right mindset and values u will never ask what value does marriage add because it will be glaring to all.

the problem is how we date and by extension marry.

Dating and marriage has been turned to a poverty alleviation scheme where a man sees him self as some human messiah coming to rescue the woman from her problems and poverty including the poverty of her family. THAT IS NOT MARRIAGE or Dating either.

That is a trap and the lady set u up for it. She's thinking about her future and u are thinking about her future, her looks or body and her problems.

Why won't u ask what value is marriage or relationship

Men are not looking for wives to marry they are looking for problems to marry at best packaged problems.

And women are looking for solutions to marry.


If marry that way pls don't complain to anybody u weren't forced.

A girl or woman must add value to ur life b4 u take her seriously talkless of marry her. But u see men marrying rude and even cheating women who don't even bring anything to the table. Them swear for una??

Katcall:
i've seen people's wives join hookup

Lol 😂

Adexgentle005:
I didn’t say my wife supports me financially like that. She’s using her own money for other things I couldn’t get her. She’s not even an understanding person. She believes it’s my responsibility to provide and if I couldn’t do it she wakes away!

But all you said are nothing but the truth. It is what it is!

I was forced to quote you sorry about that though you sound so unhappy & full of regret about your marriage you shouldn’t be washing your dirty linen outside talk to your wife & look for means to increase your family income & you saying your wife isn’t understanding in public is a bit uncalled for

ConfidentialDoc:
Bros

Single people have more sex than married people today. Maybe better sex sef...

I married less than a year, but I even stop touching my wife because I am tired of sex
When I was single I do have sex virtually every 3days without getting tired

Kobojunkie:
Did any of the women put a gun to any man's head demanding he marry her as a burden or die?

But they will cajol you as if no big deal in it, bills will be shared, they will be of help

seanwilliam:
God bless you . This shows that you’re a responsible man
Not all men are lucky to have women that ‘support’ financially, even if she does, you should not rely on that 100% .
Hmm. . But ehn 100k in two months as a married man is very fair o.


It’s far more easier to save as a single man.

How? When you’re single, you only spend what you want , you can ignore billings you’re not comfortable with , no one can compel u except you’re generous or a simp. infact you can decide to be extremely thrifty , and it’s more easier to adjust and adapt to any situation. You can decide to suspend morning and afternoon food, you can decide not to sub to cable, you can decide to even sleep if you have little change in your account. It’s easier to take risk and you’re open to different opportunities.

But when you’re married, it’s impossible to do all that. No matter how wicked you are , you can’t watch your own wife and kids go hungry , 90% of time , you’ll have to consider your family before taking any decisions.
Except you’re financial buoyant , you can’t just buy any cloths, shoes, for yourself. You can’t go to expensive restaurant without thinking about what to give your family the next day .


If you have money in your acct, you’ll still be scared , 70% of time you’ll be experiencing heart palpitations, you’ll not want them to lack.

Technically as a man, when you marry, you’ve given up your freedom and comfort for others.









That’s why , a man needs to be smart and ‘prayerful’ while choosing life partner , not all women worth these sacrifices.

I've been your silent follower but I just have to come out and like this your post because you're very on point.
I wish I could give it a thousand likes.

bonnyhope:
Can you guys expatriate on the types of bills being paid?

You can't understand until you marry, honestly!!

Raalsalghul:
Mind you, I support the notion of the man being the sole provider but a woman should be able to step in, complement, ease the burdens in any areas lacking.

What’s your take on the idea of men being comfortable with their women footing more of the bills, probably because the women earn higher?

NoToPile:
I am beginning to think something is wrong with the upbringing and orientation of a lot younger guys that are currently of marriage able age, those born early to mid 90s. There's something inherently wrong with the orientation some of these set have about marriage.

Quite worrisome… 😢

Paramount01:
■ But they will cajol you as if no big deal in it, bills will be shared, they will be of help

1. Are Nigerian men imbe_ciles that they would believe the mere words of another human being without evidence to go on? If while dating a woman who is not herself financially stable and taking care of her own bills and life, she tells you that after marriage she will pay bills with you, why in the world would you believe her just like that? No be craze be that?

If you had a friend who has never held a job in his life tell you that if were to allow him move in with you, he would get a job then and pay you rent, would you also agree to it.

All these excuses are nothing but signs or serious mental denial and refusal by these men to take responsibility for their own mistakes in life.

And which religion said it's compulsory to get married or an abomination to have kids outside marriage? In Christianity, where is it recorded that one MUST get married?

IyaebeTheGreat:
And who told you it’s normal to have kids without getting married, which religion permits that? You won’t be young forever,and since you started early believe me you’ll be glad you did at the later stage of your life. Just endure the current situation of the country and be hopeful that it won’t last forever. I understand the angle you are coming from.