[quote author=Femmyfamous4u post=122257837][/quote] Yes agreed, you big for nothing fool , the stories she do posts are not her life stories.

This particular one is not your own story, you copied it somewhere just for likes and comments 😂😂😂 and it's because the man in question is giving his wife monthly allowance, what of those that their wives are the ones feeding them , you did not see those ones to post .

If you're a man and you don't know your responsibilities as the head of the house , is better you remain single.

so what will her money be for?

I wonder what you people were discussing during courtship

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

These should have been discussed during courtship. A reasonable wife will contribute to the family without expecting anything in return. She is doing it for both of you not for a stranger. That mentality is archaic and wrong. All the best in your marriage.

NoToPile:


I read some posts and I am truly amazed, some men actually want to ensure the wife has no savings by making her pay for feeding so that she won't make mouth later on.

I don't blame traditional women and full housewives sometimes.

Try to extend the equity to caregiving to the children nau katakata will burst. The equity no dey reach that side lailai, only for money matters.

@bolded is something all women online and offline who claim a woman should be productive don't get. But it's something boys and men who cry the indoctrination war cry that women should be productive get, they know why they don't want to be responsible for the only thing they are ever responsible for in most marriages. These are the types who burn down their wives shops and tell them to become housewives when their success starts hurting their egos.

How many of them have used their bodies as a shield for their women before? But they will claim they provide security and protection, and that women must be productive, home and birth machines, and ready for a run at 2AM.

Lol. The deception and daylight manipulation is very easy to see. Equality in money and nothing else. And watch how they beat the drums very loud at that.

Pinkyposh:
I wonder what you people were discussing during courtship

How she must be submissive to him, and cook for him and dare not turn him down.

Femmyfamous4u:


Alright thank you.

However, times and times again, I have shown capabilities in all of this and as well as her family.

I'm seeing it from your angle though that even if we earn same income, her money is hers and mine is ours.

You can put it that way (according to your last
Paragraph). However when its time to get investments in terms of properties or starting up a building/business project you should bring it up with her and make her see reasons why she can/should put in financially.

BarrElChapo:


Koba akuko onye mgbu. Go out there and see your gender hustling and making their coins and spoiling themselves, you want to be collecting pocket money ontop your salary.

Your useless insults will go back to you. Onye nkuyere

nedekid:

Hmm, If you have that mindset of "that is your job" . All I can say is wahala wahala.
Note that unless the person is wealthy like them Obi Cubana and his goons etc, then my reference to wahala wahala is valid.
Note this is a young couple just starting, the man earns, the wife earns. He pays for food and runs the expenses, yet still will pay her allowance. Every expense she makes, she expects a refund.
Na marriage be that?

You don't know how Cubans started so that bring him up in this situation. I'm not saying he shouldn't ask her to assist but its too early. Imagine you just had a girlfriend and all she does is ask for money when the relationship is still fresh what will you call her I guess you will say she's a leech. Everything is all about reasoning.

jessylaurel:

You can put it that way (according to your last
Paragraph). However when its time to get investments in terms of properties or starting up a building/business project you should bring it up with her and make her see reasons why she can/should put in financially.

I actually have a building on that's almost complete, I tell her when I am about to do stuff there.

BRATISLAVA:


How she must be submissive to him, and cook for him and dare not turn him down.

Lol. As per alpha male. He should continue what he started.
Marriage is not boyfriend and girlfriend

jessylaurel:


You don't know how Cubans started so that bring him up in this situation. I'm not saying he shouldn't ask her to assist but its too early. Imagine you just had a girlfriend and all she does is ask for money when the relationship is still fresh what will you call her I guess you will say she's a leech. Everything is all about reasoning.

Let me use myself as example. When we started my wife was not working as she was still doing her studies. So expenses was on me. Once she started working expenses reduced. Nothing like allowance, money to do hair etc. Why will she ask when she is working? Even today, over 22 years later, it's basic things I do, eg service her car. She personally gives the children daily school money for years I don't even know how much while I pay the school fees.
The food we ate over the weekend, I do not even know how it was made. We have basic foodstuff, but she must have bought the eggs, turkey and gizzard.
The last time we renued visas, she organized and paid for everything up to priority service. I bought the aline tickets and sponsored the trip. What I mean is that it should be a mutual team work. Not the one a woman marries and feels everything is the "man's work". I hear that happens alot in Igbo households.
I know a lady that is having marital issues. She has a very good job, has money, it is from I mouth I heared this "man's work" for the first time. Even if she buys toothpaste in house, soap, pepper, onions, she will add it on the list to and present to the hubby that works in the same organization with her. Ofcourse they have problems as the guy looks and treats with disgust.
My brothers wife works and earns well, but same thing, he must pay for everything. What does she then do with her money? She went for a 2 weeks training and demanded 300k from Bros to pay. I told him not to, but as a mumu man, he hid to pay. Her 1 naira does not enter the house. He is complaining but cannot do something about it. Problem loading for him.

MartinsD12:

I understand though, most men do that though marry a wife , keep her at home to become a house wife and go hustling for money himself alone but in op case they are both working with the wife being selfish to spend money on the family upkeep and future planning even when she knows the man is earning lesser than what she earns

My total income is actually higher but it was far lesser. My major worry is that she does same to her family, she has younger siblings and mother bit she doesn't give them as much, I have bridge the gap by placing the mum in an allowance and assist the siblings too. I assist in the house chores but she complains I leave her alone in the kitchen.

Nawao,

This is a new marriage and money wahala don dey raise head.

You better tame the monster now.
But both of you could have actually discussed and agreed on how to run the family b4 now.

This days with the ugly economy every body is involved in the family business at least 60/50.
Especially where both of you earns an income except otherwise.

If she feels otherwise then is called selfishness or wickedness from her part and may have ulterior motive.

Man will not die before his time because of marriage or did you commit any crime by marrying her.

Mtcheeew!!!

nedekid:

I know a lady that is having marital issues. She has a very good job, has money, it is from I mouth I heared this "man's work" for the first time. Even if she buys toothpaste in house, soap, pepper, onions, she will add it on the list to and present to the hubby that works in the same organization with her. Ofcourse they have problems as the guy looks and treats with disgust.
My brothers wife works and earns well, but same thing, he must pay for everything. What does she then do with her money? She went for a 2 weeks training and demanded 300k from Bros to pay. I told him not to, but as a mumu man, he hid to pay. Her 1 naira does not enter the house. He is complaining but cannot do something about it. Problem loading for him.

I do not pity the men in these situations.

As a cohort, Nigerian men have insisted that they'd showcase their value by how much they're willing to spend. You cannot change the rules in the middle of a game. If these men left their wives and wanted to remarry or even date, they'll take on all the woman's bills and talk up their capabilities, because they're in campaign mode. They have to edge out their rivals and co-suitors.

Then you get married and you're no longer lip-syncing Psquare's "Chop My Money" hit.

Your wife's understanding is commendable, but I have no doubt she'll prefer a man who'd shoulder EVERY responsibility, reimburse every cent she spends from her own stash, and tells her that whatever she keeps she can hand-down to the kids as part of their inheritance or to spoil grandkids in the future (or whatever she fancies, not a problem to you). That is every woman's dream. And that is what every Nigerian man sells.

Na when bills choke them, dem go start dey squeeze face. And from a woman's perspective, that is deception and a bait-and-switch.

Baby, you deserve to be pampered. My money suppose show for your body. Oga, talk is cheap.

-Lord

Femmyfamous4u:


My total income is actually higher but it was far lesser. My major worry is that she does same to her family, she has younger siblings and mother bit she doesn't give them as much, I have bridge the gap by placing the mum in an allowance and assist the siblings too. I assist in the house chores but she complains I leave her alone in the kitchen.

She doesn't give her siblings and mother much have you find out what is eating her money

limcar:
she dey give you sex?

It's mutual pleasure not a commodity

@op
It's difficult to give tailor-made advice on this. Some things rent said. Background to your marriage etc are very important

But, as a man, you must always have it at the back of your mind that women are part of your kingdom. Every king takes care of his kingdom

nedekid:

Let me use myself as example. When we started my wife was not working as she was still doing her studies. So expenses was on me. Once she started working expenses reduced. Nothing like allowance, money to do hair etc. Why will she ask when she is working? Even today, over 22 years later, it's basic things I do, eg service her car. She personally gives the children daily school money for years I don't even know how much while I pay the school fees.
The food we ate over the weekend, I do not even know how it was made. We have basic foodstuff, but she must have bought the eggs, turkey and gizzard.
The last time we renued visas, she organized and paid for everything up to priority service. I bought the aline tickets and sponsored the trip. What I mean is that it should be a mutual team work. Not the one a woman marries and feels everything is the "man's work". I hear that happens alot in Igbo households.
I know a lady that is having marital issues. She has a very good job, has money, it is from I mouth I heared this "man's work" for the first time. Even if she buys toothpaste in house, soap, pepper, onions, she will add it on the list to and present to the hubby that works in the same organization with her. Ofcourse they have problems as the guy looks and treats with disgust.
My brothers wife works and earns well, but same thing, he must pay for everything. What does she then do with her money? She went for a 2 weeks training and demanded 300k from Bros to pay. I told him not to, but as a mumu man, he hid to pay. Her 1 naira does not enter the house. He is complaining but cannot do something about it. Problem loading for him.

Like you said in your first paragraph 'you were in charge of her studies expenses and homefront' and now she working. Any mentally stable person would have to reciprocate/appreciate I guess that's what she's doing by taking charge of some bills. You're taking care of your parents at old age not because of anything but to show a sign of gratitude for what they did for you while growing up. Your wife is just reciprocating. Your case is quite different from the poster though.

MartinsD12:

She doesn't give her siblings and mother much have you find out what is eating her money

She just like to save it up.

Femmyfamous4u:


She just like to save it up.

Just saving it using it doing nothing it's not good at all

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

yes give her, for peace to reign

No go do pass yourself. I wonder what youre trying to prove. Now you are forming Messiah, hope your actions dont come back to haunt you as you are setting a precedent.

Femmyfamous4u:


My total income is actually higher but it was far lesser. My major worry is that she does same to her family, she has younger siblings and mother bit she doesn't give them as much, I have bridge the gap by placing the mum in an allowance and assist the siblings too. I assist in the house chores but she complains I leave her alone in the kitchen.

Gloriagee:
No go do pass yourself. I wonder what youre trying to prove. Now you are forming Messiah, hope your actions dont come back to haunt you as you are setting a precedent.

As a female what is your advice?

You are doing it from a place of love which is really commendable but is this sustainable? I think you need to have a talk with your wife and dont let her attitude stop you from sowing good seeds but always think long term abeg. Take a long term view to giving vis a vis investment.

Femmyfamous4u:


As a female what is your advice?

Kobojunkie:
Leave God and His mention out of this brain damage abeg!

I pity you if you don't believe in God and his ordinance for marriage..

The earlier you stop that nonsense from her,the better for you.if you are not careful she will stress your life till you die and she will marry another man.teach her to be responsible, delete every feminist mentality from her.teach her that she is your helpmate not liability.allocate some responsibility to her to take care of.
Failure to do this,you will be pushed into the well by your wife.some women bring that useless, selfish and lazy mentality into marriage that your money is ours but my money is mine.it is your duty to reset her brain to reason properly.

Charly68:
I pity you if you don't believe in God and his ordinance for marriage..

There is no such thing as that which you claim so leave God's mention out of this gobbledygook.

Who ever told you that feminists live off men? Yall dont bother to find out the meaning of a word you hate so much but manage to categorize everything you despise in women as feminist.

obynokoko:
The earlier you stop that nonsense from her,the better for you.if you are not careful she will stress your life till you die and she will marry another man.teach her to be responsible, delete every feminist mentality from her.teach her that she is your helpmate not liability.allocate some responsibility to her to take care of.
Failure to do this,you will be pushed into the well by your wife.some women bring that useless, selfish and lazy mentality into marriage that your money is ours but my money is mine.it is your duty to reset her brain to reason properly.

Pinkyposh:


Lol. As per alpha male. He should continue what he started.
Marriage is not boyfriend and girlfriend

As per

jessylaurel:


Your useless insults will go back to you. Onye nkuyere

🤡🤡🤡 Be there and wait for pocket money o.... Anu ohia

BRATISLAVA:


As per

Yes nah