₦airaland Forum

Every woman, weak, strong, rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, tall, short, intelligent or dull. They all have that man they respect and adore. May I ask the name of your church? You may need to change church to a place where she will listen to the alive word of God. You should keep talking to her using the scriptures, be prayerful, take your stand like a man. Demand that both her and your kids relocate back to your room, buy a mattress place it on the ground in your room, while another oj bed, at night, romance her and romance her until she enters the mood for sex, it's what she signed for. Every Saturday is wrong. I have my wife whenever she's not weak, and I press it until she give in to it. My wife is a Christian woman made in heaven sent from God to me. I am the one that's working on my character by not assisting her much in house chores.

You must never divorce her and don't complain to unbelievers look for a Christian counselor filled with the Holy ghost, go first fit counseling before both of you. Things will work well. At every time she's wrong, quote a scripture for her. God will bless and keep your marriage. Jesus will reign over your house again.

ceeceeuwa:
You can fix a section with a marriage counselor. Maybe she is not into you.

Sad but true. But is this what men go through in marriage? No wonder beer parlour dey full.i keep telling people 'marriage no be by force' Stay alone if it aint working

ChybuzzDD:
These unmarried kids always think marriage is all about sex

No mind them. If he likes knack her and almost die on top if she is not into you, leave matter, no waste time

I've come to understand that all those that are too religious are al hypocrites. Be it Christians, Muslims, traditionalists, or even hard ore atheist.

Bunch of hypocrites. If she truly is a Christian she would even be very ashamed of the word divorce. She is just playing church nothing more.

In church we call her likes faceful service not fearful service.

I can't lie to you, na the side hustle wey your wife dey do kill your marriage...


If you know, you know

Oga if she doesn't cook for yo why give her 75k for feeding? Give some of that amount to the maid to go to the market and buy things she'll cook for you and see what happens? If it doesn't do the magic, get a side chick somewhere, she go humble. Denying you sex is wickedness. She's failing on her duties and another woman will gladly do the job. Simple

Na she get the company - when she dey collect 800k

Nigeria fear God??

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

hard luck Mr simp.

BloomingDale:
Did you read my Soln? All the bills and fees? Well, the wife is paying for some stuff like gas, baby diapers etc and I’m pretty sure he is not paying for his wife ‘s personal maintenance like clothes, etc. The husband is just paying for the things he still has to pay for even if he was still single like a roof over his head, the food he eats etc, so it’s not like he’s even going out of his way too much with the bills. I’m pretty sure the wife supplements the money she is given without even letting him know. Imagine bringing out just 75k to feed a family of five for a month.

Well, the wife is now stressed and the household is unhappy. She is already running after 2 children. Can’t add another one. She has left the big child aka the husband to take care of himself. Whaddaya gonna do about it except come to Nairaland to complain. Lol.

Reading your reply gives me stroke and is making me retarded so this is going to be my last reply: what happens to the wife speaking up so it can be resolved? You can see the OP is making so much effort to de-escalate the situation but the wife is not ready for that. A man's literally begging to ve loved and respected in his marriage and this weak defence is what you come up with? I'm sure you'll never take this sh.it if someone was doing it to your brother. You're the type that will overrun your sister inlaw in the slightest of provocation but here you are foaming in the mouth because he's not your brother?

Chairman,...life is short,better go enjoy yourself

babywhite:
Op said the wife pays the maid, fills the gas and buys dsiper....let me continue reading

Lest say the wife pays for everything in the house: does her husband not deserve any love and respect because she foots the bills? If you're married you won't do such If you want to really enjoy you're marriage, if you're yet to marry I pray we live long enough to see you make your own thread if you behave like the OP's wife. We can all agree that if the OP was someone else she'll be sent packing already. This here really one of the reasons our parents had very good marriages that has lasted a lifetime but you lot still slate your mothers that they were "abused". In many Nigerian families today, mothers were lowkey running the family either doing 9-5 of some form of trade but still loved and respected their husbands. Again I'll warn you ahead of time; if you're single please don't go I to marriage eith this mindset because you may not be as lucky as the OP's wife who got married to a woman that seem to be disillusioned about the basic tenets of marriage.

Since she's a worker in the church you can both see the pastor for counselling and with prayers plus delibrate effort on both sides things will work out by God's grace. The home is always under attack that is why it is good to always consciously work towards keeping your marriage.

God be with you bros and keep your home in Jesus name.

The problem comes from the line where he calls his wife his mum. His wife is not his mother. He's looking for his mum in a little girl he married who had just left her teens then. Her competition with him financially is probably because of some things he must have said about money earlier on, and she wants to rub it in his face. She's not the monster he's making her out to be.

For all we know this is strungup79 version 2.0. Why tell us his wife's earnings, and not his own? Everything is wrong about her, and he is absolutely angelic. Nothing here hints he could have any problems, but he's the author anyway.

Once 99% male readers see the below talk points, they will be sure she's a condemned criminal from his one-sided post, and bay for her blood, maybe even tell him how to further destroy his marriage since he cannot pray harder or hit the gym:

1. MONEY she earns more than me! Evil, disrespectful woman how dare she!
2. She's turning the children against me by cooking only for them (thought she doesn't cook at all and we have paragraphs dedicated to her hardly cooking, it's amazing)
3. She's "emasculating" me, the usual warcry
4. [Optional] She doesn't let me have sex with her (no questions if he bathes, he must be Adonis if he's complaining)

On this forum men are always crying, not because they are in bad relationships, but because they know that with the above talk points they've won the heart of majority of readers who won't even ask any questions of the saint who is manipulating them. They need likes and need their wives scrutinized and abused by strangers online. The usual male martyr has come to the toxic AA of relationships again.

If only his wife would come and clarify this for clarity sake.

Cutehector:
oh chim. People! Oya go and intervene since you know it all.

You are the one acting like you know it all. We both don't know the OP and what should be is respect everyone's opinion. You getting edgy over my post is rather amusing.

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

All I can say is all through out this period you have failed to understand your wife and didn't invest heavily in building your relationship. Also, try to fill up her inadequacy in the area you mentioned, and your love life will blossom.

Don't divorce her but seek separation for a while and you guys should try to settle your differences. Sometimes women seems to act strangely. You already have kids so concentrate on your kids.

Heathrow44:
And pls don't disturb my mention, so I can get message from other people

NA YOUR TYPE DEY GO CLUB EVERY WEEKEND JUST TO GO KNEEL DOWN BEG ASHAWO FOR FREE FVCK

OkoYibo:
Marriage is not by force.

Call her family and give her an ultimatum to change or you will be forced to take drastic action that you can't reverse.

If she doesn't change, get a new wife.
I have noticed that women don't behave until they have competition.

Yul Edochie must've been thinking this way, too.

Ortintin:
If you like visit hundreds of marriage councillors, not talk to her for months, do whatever trick your marriage won't work. The best thing is to divorce and go your separate ways.

You see your wife doesn't value you anymore, you have taught her a lot and now the student has become the master. She earns more than you and even more successful than you. You will be shocked to see your wife's bank account.

You sound like a good man and the truth is that she is using your glory to shin e. It is when you finally divorce her that things will skyrocket for you and years to come she will come back to beg but by then you are no more in her level.

If you want to proof me wrong, tell her you have accepted the divorce. You will notice she will become happy.

If you still don't get my points you can message me.

That means countless men have used the glory of their wives to shine, yet are angry and feel alimony and child support are theft. Yet you expect her to be the subservient one knowing this.

The kind of selfish one-sided things one reads on the forum sicken.

JeffreyJunior:
I took my time to read your epistle and one thing I quickly noticed is that you two are no longer couples but strangers, competing ones at that.

You are yet to see her true color because you still support your home financially. The worst in her will manifest if anything happens to your income.

Whenever a woman opens her mouth to say let's dissolve this marriage or this relationship, I would go for it immediately. If you don't, you will remain at her mercy forever and all your efforts in keeping the relationship will be unappreciated and underappreciated by her.

One thing is certain now. Your wife already has an exit plan and she is only waiting for a perfect time to strike. Most times, they don't strike until you are in the lowest of your lows so I suggest you start making your own exit plans because this rain I dey see so, it will definitely fall. It's only a matter of when.

Shalom.

Advice is spot on...end of story right here.

I have painstakingly read thru many reply and I hope you are able to filter thru and take some very good ones.
Truth be told just like many have said, it's a phase, yes but the way and manner you handle will determine what happen next.
Will suggest you pick a new hobby to preoccupy you, live your life to the fullest, let everyone including yourself know that you are very happy, if you are waiting for her to make you happy, bro you are on a long thing.
If you still want to be married to her, then you may need to speak to persons she respect and adorns. Her pastor's, parents may also be contacted, after exhausting these option if no changes, tell her you want o quit the marriage, or take a break (temporary separation).

Heathrow44:
Abeg shift and face front, and cover ur mouth with ur boxers, I no get ur tym,

NA YOUR VILLAGE PEOPLE I BLAME WEY CONTRIBUTE MONEY TO BUY YOU PHONE AND DATA MAKE YOU CUM REPRESENT DEM FOR NAIRALAND

akube34:
but y is divorce not an option

Cos is not an option.

Thanks for sharing this, this is the real marriage. Those coming behind ought to know this.. Get a side chick.

BloomingDale:
Did you read my Soln? All the bills and fees? Well, the wife is paying for some stuff like gas, baby diapers etc and I’m pretty sure he is not paying for his wife ‘s personal maintenance like clothes, etc. The husband is just paying for the things he still has to pay for even if he was still single like a roof over his head, the food he eats etc, so it’s not like he’s even going out of his way too much with the bills. I’m pretty sure the wife supplements the money she is given without even letting him know. Imagine bringing out just 75k to feed a family of five for a month.

Well, the wife is now stressed and the household is unhappy. She is already running after 2 children. Can’t add another one. She has left the big child aka the husband to take care of himself. Whaddaya gonna do about it except come to Nairaland to complain. Lol.

So what stops her from communicating with the husband...is the wife not suppose to also contribute financially to the family freely.

Is that even enough for a wife to say ehnn maybe we should dissolve this marriage

STARGREEN:
It's well.
Build on the good part of her, each of them comes with different packages that has to be endured if you must remain married.

Trust me some have bigger issues than yours.

Rise up and be on your feet, be happy it's just a phase and only you should control your peace in your home not your acquired assets.

Which good part of her are you advising him to build on? Did he mention anyone?

That she buys gas, cooks for the children and diaper. Is that the good to build on?

No respect for the husband. She is on her own. No meaningful contribution to major family projects.

The worst thing or what you can't deny a man in a marriage is food, sex and respect.

I will tell that the wife must have suffered abuse while growing up or was raised from a divorced or single mother or from a family that is not united.

I will advise the man to get both her family and pastors involved. Since she wakes up "Bible" yet doesn't understand Bible teaching. [/b]He should simply let her go[b]

Pray and pray and pray. It is spiritual. It is a battle you have to win on your knees. Nothing will change that woman if you don't invest your time in prayer.

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

ben1daEbiri:
Reading your reply gives me stroke and is making me retarded so this is going to be my last reply: what happens to the wife speaking up so it can be resolved? You can see the OP is making so much effort to de-escalate the situation but the wife is not ready for that. A man's literally begging to ve loved and respected in his marriage and this weak defence is what you come up with? I'm sure you'll never take this sh.it if someone was doing it to your brother. You're the type that will overrun your sister inlaw in the slightest of provocation but here you are foaming in the mouth because he's not your brother?

Let me ask you a question? What does it signify by the wife getting a maid and the husband telling the wife to pay the maids fees?

These days .... Religious centres are doing more harm to marriages while our ladies are becoming less submissive. May God help us

FireUpNow:
Don't divorce her but seek separation for a while and you guys should try to settle your differences. Sometimes women seems to act strangely. You already have kids so concentrate on your kids.

Wrong advice
You can make her feel separated by finding happiness within and doing what you love


The first step is first find your happiness back, Swimming 🏊‍♀️ is the only one exercise that is sweeter than sex, it will always keep you fit , healthy and handsome , try it 3times a week and she will start wondering what’s the source of your happiness, start doing something you love, what makes you happy

Your wife sees you as a SIMP. She is denying you of ALL a man needs from a woman i.e, sex, loyalty and respect.
Try to Man up and watch her start craving you. Women need only 3 things.
1. Be a provider ( find meaningful things not nececerarily money all tge time, but something she values).
2. Show love to her and give her attention. Compliment her, but don’t exergerate it. Whenever she cooks show genuine appreciation and let her know how good it make you feel. Anytime she allows sex, forget about your pleasure and try to focus on pleasing her 1st. First try to court her with date, good geatures and sweet talks. Do a lot of pre-intimacy and use a lubricant to make her comfortable and pleasure delivery easier for you.
3. Never be vulnerable. Women can’t do without men who show strength and rugged masculinity. Make her feel reassured that you are the man in the relationship.

If you do all these and she is still a Jezebel? Don’t be afraid to send her back to her parent’s for better training. Some women are not just wife material.

Sadly, you guys already have kids and seperating from your kids can be very tough. But life isn’t easy buddy! If she can’t be your peace of mind, GET RID OF HER!

ravensckar:
Mr. OP, first of all, I sympathize with you on what you're going through in your marriage. May the Almighty God take absolute control.

Secondly, what you mentioned that your wife is doing to you is typical of most Nigerian women. Withholding sex, not cooking or showing you attention. It's their oldest control mechanism to keep their man in check. It's just that your wife took hers too far. Funny enough, there's not a single man in Nigeria whose wife didn't use these tactics on him, the smart ones always turn the tables and the weak ones always succumb. Kindly spend more time with your dad (if he's still around) or some of your guys who are married let them give you the OT.

My advice for you is simple; find your wife's thumbscrew and use it to counter attack (turn the table). I'll tell you a short story, hopefully, you can learn a thing or two from it. My wife for example, when she started her own 'kolomental' back then. She won't cook, she won't clean the house, she won't give her best during sex. It's always one complain or another. The most painful part of it was the food, every other thing I can bear. I sat her down and spoke to her, nothing changed. I sometimes don't eat at home just to express my displeasure. She didn't bulge, rather, she mocked me and told me that I'll die of hunger.
I reported to her parents, nothing changed.

Then, I spoke to my dad about it and he gave me the OT. I started chatting and receiving calls from one particular number. I began to spend quality time outside my house, she still didn't bulge. I took it to another level by subtly making her friends and family members become aware of my new lifestyle. Fear catch Hanty and she quickly surrendered. It was that moment I found her thumbscrew; my wife is very particular about other people's perception of her marriage. She hates to give others the impression that her marriage is going through something. She's that type of lady who doesn't want her friends, family or even the neighbours to ever think that her husband doesn't love her dearly. That was it, I found her thumbscrew and the dick measuring contest was won by me!

Since then, I now know what drives her, what motivates her and what unsettles her. For example, if I want her to knack very well. I'll stop over at her shop on my way back from work, buy her chop chop and we'll both be eating it outside. Gist with her outside, help her sell her stuff and be doing touch & do. You can be sure that night ehn, she will finish me on the bed. And in the same way, if she offends me and I want to treat her Bleep up, I'll just stop over at her shop with a frown on my face or attitude. Instantly, Hanty will start to dey beg.

In summary, every woman has a thumbscrew. Your job as a man is to figure out your wife's thumbscrew and use it to the fullest. If you do that, you'll change the dynamics. And in seduction, he who has the initiative has the power. You need to take that initiative!

PS- marriage, business, sports, & politics are ARTS. To succeed at it, one must learn the intricacies.

I had to quote you.
If only the op can learn from this
We learn everyday.
This is one of the best marriage advice I’ve learnt in a long while