mariahAngel:


Borrow some money if you have to, and give her to go see her mother, if that'll cause peace to reign.

By the way, what inspired your moniker?
Why did you decide to tag yourself that?
Na so una carry negativity wear for neck like bling-bling, when e begin manifest, una go start to dey lament.

For the handler - God is not a man.

My guy just find money give that woman before she poison you. You dey alive or not, she go visit her mama.

Jozilinn:
is it a must to visit her mum knowing fully well about the financial problem at home,if she can see 10k to send to the mum no problem, teaching work na another thing entirely I don't blame her besides she's also pregnant... try to get a better paying job,hmm it going to be fyn anyways just make sure you talk to her,shey if you die now na she go suffer am, everywhere na manage, what of her siblings?

She's the first child.

That is a very bad act no matter what. Now that she has burnt the boxers, has the money come out?

Onedayoneday:
That is a very bad act no matter what. Now that she has burnt the boxers, has the money come out?

I don't know if the pregnancy is also contributing.

NotAMan:
This marriage is shaking and life-threatening at the same time.

The last employed job I had was in a private firm which I got affected by downsizing.

Pending when I will land a good job, these days, I do house and property agent. I also do menial jobs sometimes just to eck a living. Sometimes it takes long before I seal a deal. The last money I made was just something above 50k which I handed over 80% of the money to her for family upkeep and other expenses. She's pregnant with our first child and misbehave a lot.

And now her mother is sick and she wants to travel and as I don't have the 30k to give to her, only to come back yesterday and saw my boxers burnt in anger. Over 10 boxers? And she's even telling me this is just to warn me against the future and I'm becoming very afraid of her. If I have the money, would I want her not to travel to see her sick mother when i know health issue is a matter of life and death?

Also, she's teaching in a private school and complaining of the school owing salary.

This woman is making me shed tears and becoming afraid of her at the same time. I have never beaten, talk bad or hurt her in anyway and she shouldn't push me.

Now that she has burnt my boxers, who knows what next? I am even afraid of my life.

What should I do?

You want to use poverty to kill her. She will burn you eventually. Make una leg strong small before una go Marry, una no go hear word. Sorry ooo

HarunaWest:
You want to use poverty to kill her. She will burn you eventually. Make una leg strong small before una go Marry, una no go hear word. Sorry ooo

Bro, our condition wasn't too bad. Just that I lost my job.

NotAMan:
This marriage is shaking and life-threatening at the same time.

The last employed job I had was in a private firm which I got affected by downsizing.

Pending when I will land a good job, these days, I do house and property agent. I also do menial jobs sometimes just to eck a living. Sometimes it takes long before I seal a deal. The last money I made was just something above 50k which I handed over 80% of the money to her for family upkeep and other expenses. She's pregnant with our first child and misbehave a lot.

And now her mother is sick and she wants to travel and as I don't have the 30k to give to her, only to come back yesterday and saw my boxers burnt in anger. Over 10 boxers? And she's even telling me this is just to warn me against the future and I'm becoming very afraid of her. If I have the money, would I want her not to travel to see her sick mother when i know health issue is a matter of life and death?

Also, she's teaching in a private school and complaining of the school owing salary.

This woman is making me shed tears and becoming afraid of her at the same time. I have never beaten, talk bad or hurt her in anyway and she shouldn't push me.

Now that she has burnt my boxers, who knows what next? I am even afraid of my life.

What should I do?

You will be surprised that the complain of her not being paid in her work place is possibly a lie to avoid supporting the home with her money since you are currently jobless and hustling.

You have to pay close attention to really get to know the person you are dealing with.

Also be watchful for your own safety!

First of all, don't listen to anyone who will blame this on her pregnancy or hormonal imbalance.

She is a toxic woman. Psychological issues associated with pregnancy especially first pregnancy and your present financial situation only unearthed her true identity.

Marriage is for better for worse but most people don't ask their spouses the important question like what are your plans for our worse times?

Ask your spouse to tell you his or her real plans, not God forbid or God will not let us down.

Whenever a home becomes battlefield to the extent that fear and tension had set in, the marriage had better be another used to be to avoid deaths, regrets and incarcerations.

That's my candid advice which you are not obligated to take anyway.

Shalom.

RepoMan007:
Manage her pants with her until God see you through this phase, it could be hormonal changes mixed with financial issues you facing.

JeffreyJunior:
First of all, don't listen to anyone who will blame this on her pregnancy or hormonal imbalance.

She is a toxic woman. Psychological issues associated with pregnancy especially first pregnancy and your present financial situation only unearthed her true identity.

Marriage is for better for worse but most people don't ask their spouses the important question of what are your plans for our worse times?

Ask your spouse to tell you his or her real plans, not God forbid or God will not let us down.

Whenever a home becomes battlefield to the extent that fear and tension had set in, the marriage had better be another used to be to avoid deaths, regrets and incarcerations.

That's my candid advice which you are not obligated to take anyway.

Shalom.

Thank you for your concern.

NotAMan:


Bro, our condition wasn't too bad. Just that I lost my job.

Even at that, if you don't have a back up plan aside a job nowadays. avoid marriage. Ladies of nowadays are not patient like our mothers. A man has no option, he must provide. The world has gone materialistic.

HarunaWest:
Even at that, if you don't have a back up plan aside a job nowadays. avoid marriage. Ladies of nowadays are not patient like our mothers. A man has no option, he must provide. The world has gone materialistic.

Thank you for your concern.

NotAMan:


She's the first child.

let her younger ones do the visiting, please she should bear with you expenses to travel and maintenance of mama alone 30k fit no reach sef,abeg plead with her and find something for her to send to her mum.

ahnie:

Stop shifting the blames on her pregnancy,she's a toxic person,and I fear she will harm this man sooner after effeminating him.

bukatyne:

It's best hitting him with the hard truth.i fear that lady harming him.
I fear for his safety.

Jozilinn:
let her younger ones do the visiting, please she should bear with you expenses to travel and maintenance of mama alone 30k fit no reach sef,abeg plead with her and find something for her to send to her mum.

He's broke n out of job joz.

Except you wants him to go borrow money.

NotAMan:
This marriage is shaking and life-threatening at the same time.

The last employed job I had was in a private firm which I got affected by downsizing.

Pending when I will land a good job, these days, I do house and property agent. I also do menial jobs sometimes just to eck a living. Sometimes it takes long before I seal a deal. The last money I made was just something above 50k which I handed over 80% of the money to her for family upkeep and other expenses. She's pregnant with our first child and misbehave a lot.

And now her mother is sick and she wants to travel and as I don't have the 30k to give to her, only to come back yesterday and saw my boxers burnt in anger. Over 10 boxers? And she's even telling me this is just to warn me against the future and I'm becoming very afraid of her. If I have the money, would I want her not to travel to see her sick mother when i know health issue is a matter of life and death?

Also, she's teaching in a private school and complaining of the school owing salary.

This woman is making me shed tears and becoming afraid of her at the same time. I have never beaten, talk bad or hurt her in anyway and she shouldn't push me.

Now that she has burnt my boxers, who knows what next? I am even afraid of my life.

What should I do?

Return the toxicity in equal measure else she will keep manipulating you. You must be dreaming if you think she will change and mind you I fear it's already late to return her madness with madness coz you enabled such behavior by not reprimanding her seriously. Goodluck

Being pregnant isn't enough reason to be toxic, if anything being pregnant humbled me. She is toxic, the least she could have done is source for ways to get half of the money and send to her mom. I believe the mom would understand, a wife supports the husband and not tear him down.
She's toxic abeg, let's assume you're not around to provide the money, does it mean she would trace you down to any part of the state you are in and beat the money out of you?
The koko be say, money no dey be say e no dey! You can't kill yourself, is she the first to get pregnant?

As a woman, be financially independent before attempting marriage to avoid disgusting issues like this.😏

Walk away from that nonsense you call marriage.

You've reaped the negative effect of allowing her to base your value on money. Neither a healthy relationship nor real peace of mind is for anyone whose primary commands of the respect, loyalty, admiration, etc, of others stem from money.

Of course, the importance of money cannot be overemphasized, but the crux of the matter is that while it is good to master the science of making it, especially in large quantity, and sustaining it, you should not allow it to define you. Also, you should not allow anyone who bases your value on the large quantity, or otherwise, you have it to be close to you to the extent of having them as a spouse or friend - even if they are your blood relatives.

RepoMan007:
Manage her pants with her until God see you through this phase, it could be hormonal changes mixed with financial issues you facing.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

On the topic, I would advise you separate from your wife for the meantime to avoid stories that touch. I don’t understand why a wife would burn her husband’s clothes to get money out of him while saying this is just the beginning. Abi both of you are sworn enemies pretending to be lovers?

If she desperately needs to go see her mother why can’t she seek for other ways to raise the money even if it means borrowing and when her salary comes she settles the debt. Also whenever you have you can also chip in.

Please this is not what marriage should be like o. Do not encourage or hide this toxicity. Make sure you report this incidence to both sides of the family especially her people. Let them know what their daughter has been up to.

NotAMan:


I don't know if the pregnancy is also contributing.

Pregnancy should not be used as an excuse to acting this way. We should not be allowing women to use our head anyhow because of pregnancy. This act is very very bad to me.

This is so horrible to even imagine. Why would some women, wives for that matter who swore to love someone son with all their heart be so toxic when in marriage?

Exodus15v11:
Ok then. Your current financial state + hers [you lost your job and now doing menial jobs and making less; her own job is owing her] along with her current physiological state [pregnancy] must be the reasons behind her behavioural changes. She has a bit on her plate, so it's no wonder she's stressed. Idk how far along she is, but she should also be on maternity leave and resting at home. While none of these is any excuse for violence, simply talk to her to discuss her needs and exercise more patience with her during this time.

All of you talking about "pregnancy hormone" being an excuse are talking cap ... And if you really believed the bolded, then you wouldn't have typed everything else that's above it ...

And besides...
Don't you think the man also "has a bit on his plate"? ...

I mean...
Being jobless...
Expecting a baby...
Having a toxic individual for a partner...
Feeling unsafe in the house due to your partners mental condition...

And the emotional and psychological trauma that comes with being threatened by someone you call a wife...

Don't you think this is also A LOT? ...

If he then decides to lash out at her, would you also advice her to "simply talk to her to discuss his needs and exercise more patience with him during this time"? ...

Why do we keep making excuses for women's excesses and stup.idity? ...

@OP...
Call your knife wife to order...
From your description, you don't seem like a lazy man, you're doing your best for God's sake! ...

Atleast, you're not sitting down at home and doing nothing ..

And if she can't appreciate the efforts you're putting in, then let her go, this life is not that hard ...

So now that she has burnt your boxers, has the money come out?! ...

And if she can burn your boxers as a "warning" because she didn't get what she wants now, what happens when you can't meet her next demand? ...

Prolly she'll turn you to barbecue ...
Oga address this issue firmly before it gets outta hand o ...

HarunaWest:
Even at that, if you don't have a back up plan aside a job nowadays. avoid marriage. Ladies of nowadays are not patient like our mothers. A man has no option, he must provide. The world has gone materialistic.

Oga what are you saying?! ...
My guy lost his job in the corona period, and he was expecting a child just as the OP is...

His "back up plan" of over 4million plus his land (that had a 3bed room uncompleted building) had to be sold because his wife got so sick...

They lost the baby...
Lost the money ...
Lost the property...

We (his close friends and family) had to pull resources to keep em afloat till God blessed him with another job...

In summary...
Sh.it happens!!!!!!!!
Life could hit you hard and all your "back up plans" could evaporate in thin air within days...

So let's not belittle the OP for getting married...

Stevenbright:


You will be surprised that the complain of her not being paid in her work place is possibly a lie to avoid supporting the home with her money since you are currently jobless and hustling.

You have to pay close attention to really get to know the person you are dealing with.

Also be watchful for your own safety!

Thank you for your concern. It helps

He should've thought about that before impregnating her. People shouldn't get married or start having kids without any savings or backup but if they do, they'll have no choice but to face the consequences of their actions. You included him "expecting a baby" as part of what's on his plate.... um, is he the pregnant spouse? Methinks the woman who is pregnant and going through changes in her body, working a job that's owing her, a husband who is working menial jobs, has more on her plate than he does. That she's working too, means she's trying. Notwithstanding, both of them are responsible for their current situation.

Fahvvy:


All of you talking about "pregnancy hormone" being an excuse are talking cap ... And if you really believed the bolded, then you wouldn't have typed everything else that's above it ...

And besides...
Don't you think the man also "has a bit on his plate"? ...

I mean...
Being jobless...
Expecting a baby...
Having a toxic individual for a partner...
Feeling unsafe in the house due to your partners mental condition...

And the emotional and psychological trauma that comes with being threatened by someone you call a wife...

Don't you think this is also A LOT? ...

If he then decides to lash out at her, would you also advice her to "simply talk to her to discuss his needs and exercise more patience with him during this time"? ...

Why do we keep making excuses for women's excesses and stup.idity? ...

@OP...
Call your knife wife to order...
From your description, you don't seem like a lazy man, you're doing your best for God's sake! ...

Atleast, you're not sitting down at home and doing nothing ..

And if she can't appreciate the efforts you're putting in, then let her go, this life is not that hard ...

So now that she has burnt your boxers, has the money come out?! ...

And if she can burn your boxers as a "warning" because she didn't get what she wants now, what happens when you can't meet her next demand? ...

Prolly she'll turn you to barbecue ...
Oga address this issue firmly before it gets outta hand o ...

ahnie:

Stop shifting the blames on her pregnancy,she's a toxic person,and I fear she will harm this man sooner after effeminating him.

I want to agree with you

garriAndsugar:
Any person planning to get married to a poor Nigerian lady should make sure he has an escape route( alternative apartment) where you can run to when she misbehaves.
Now she has burnt your boxers you will now start moving tubeless

Poor or rich lady ... I must have the bolded incase she nags or misbehaves. I nor too like talk

Hmmn