₦airaland Forum

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

It's entitlement mentality most Nigerians exhibit. Once you have money, you must care for them. When you tell them you don't have, you're being stingy

Klass99:
I enjoyed reading your narrative and experience, I quickly figured out how it would all end the moment you continued your charity after the first time of five noodles, two sardines and soft drinks.

I would have stopped at helping him just once because I don't like entitlement and ingratitude. I can often sense it and smell it from 10 miles away. And when I do, I may help once and never help again, or not even bother to help at all because of the attitude I see.

You were also dealing with a teenager who lacks emotional maturity and intelligence, but age is not an excuse or justification for such bad behaviour. He is simply ill mannered and poorly trained, chances are, he wasn't even home trained and he comes from a background where children were bred in bulk by parents who had no clue what they were doing.

Some adults are also guilty of this attitude your guard displayed. I don't hesitate to call it out or readjust my interactions with such people. No dey use your reggae spoil my blues, unto sey I decided to be kind and helpful.

I honestly think you have been dealing with the wrong kind of Nigerians, the kind whose hearts and mentalities are messed up. There are Nigerians who will cherish your acts of kindness and embarrass you to the point of tears with their excessive appreciation. Try random acts of kindness like you said and see the difference.

i think it's the economy. It has turned everyone cold. Now this particular guy , it appears you have described his background perfectly because I don't understand why he is not in school. He looks Fulani and speaks Fulani so I think he is Fulani. But he speaks and understands English very well

There's a law about 'selective generosity' in Robert Greene's legendary treatise, the 48 Laws of Power.

In a wild country like Nigeria in particular, you have to know how to send money on errands. How to use money to buy and maintain influence. But there's an art to it. Mindless and thoughtless generosity would only earn you contempt. But if you know how to use it, boy you would be above the law.

The key is, be sporadic about it. Be unpredictable about it. But most of all, be intentional about it.

NEVER be generous out of pity or kindness. Unless it is pure anonymous charity. People have to earn your generosity. You have to be selfishly generous, lol. It doesn't make sense right? Haha. That's the point. It's only for the initiated.

mariahAngel:
You could've just mentioned the mods earlier, you know?
It's an interesting topic.

hehe mods don't like me. Trust me. Funny I was a mod once . Religion section

Sicilyjoe:
Hello pls can u explain more about this reverse charge fee, I want to know more about it and how it works

It means if you see any charge on your account that is from the bank, alway be proactive and ask for a reversal.

Whatever you can't finish, don't start. We humans are wired to get used to things like that easily.

grandstar:
sukkot

These security men are poorly paid. The ones in my estate get N22k monthly. What can that buy?

Your tips meant a lot to him. It's a shame he became hostile but please forgive him.

Anyways, I feel you were overgenerous with your giving. That sardine added was too much

oh I have forgiven him but I have cut him off. Lol. I don't have time for that level of ingrate

Nigerians and entitlement mentality. It's like that everywhere.

Akalia:
Givers never lack. Don't drop your good habit of giving alms to the needy.

its true. Every time I give I get blessed more. I can confirm that

sharpwriter:
Boss see you.... You dey dash people 5k wey no appreciate but your boy dey here, never sabi how I go take do weekend... Boss you fit drop something o... I dey very serious. I be grateful guy.

lol bro all this na story oooo but we go talk later

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

OP Nice one, seems you're one with a good heart. But let me negatively advice you; Your good heart will take you no where especially when dealing with Nigerians.

Don't see as a bad advice rather, take it as it is no matter how inconveniencing it will be on your person.

I have suffered from things like this in the past and currently facing the same.

And in all the times that this happens I'll tell myself never to help anyone again but I always find myself doing that..... It's just clear to me that I can't run away from it.

If you can run away from this pls do.... Some Nigerians are the worst set of people to ever come across in this life.


If I tell you my past and present stories you go just de insult me....

Pavlov’s dogs. Classic conditioning.

You conditioned him. And then rubbed insult into his injury by telling him about his conditioning.


[quote author=sukkot post=123060342]See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

I already know this is a possible mindset with certain staffs or security personnel's either at home or at some hangout spots so I don't make them feel like I'm giving them cos they act self entitled. Infact I don't give them when they act that way with some level of arrogance or aggressiveness when asking for a tip or favour I immediately locked up and ignore their ass. The next reaction after this is they get the message and get humble or less entitled and then I give them or they act like a duchebag and I show them I'm a bigger duchebag who no send their papa.

There was a day I was driving out and the security man rather than opening the gate walked to me to ask hwfr wetin for boys I just looked at him like has he lost his mind? Is that how u think u can force people to give u tips? I told him nothing for u go and do ur job.

he vexed and me too I vexed. we both vexed. Lol

He later came to his senses and got a tip after doing his work properly after like a week or so.

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

Their are 3 levels of dependancy, I have take my time to study human psychology and behavioral pattern. Give a man a gift first time he will appreciate and thank you. 1st level
Give him the second time, he will anticipate if he comes the third time you till give him. 2nd level
Give him the third time he becomes entitled.
Fourth time, he start depending on you, he fit even fight you for that. E go be like say na him right. That is human behavioral pattern, e just dey wired like that. Intelligent folk know when to cut off so dat he wouldn't be subconsciously dependant. Same apply when you are helping know when to cut off so that your subject would be totally dependant on you. It all apply in the spheres of life.

Sukkot you are a very useless somebody.

So your purpose of doing charity is to cover your sins (crimes) and for the purpose of getting rewarded. Very selfish wicked hypocrite

AngelicBeing:
Dayuummmmmm, welc to Nigeria, abeg walk with wisdom with the guy oo, some security guards are informants to Robbers and Kidnappers, it is a cruel and Wicked world out there, so be wise as the serpent and harmless like the dove, that is why anytime l visit Nigeria, l put on my Ghost Garment 24/ 7, l don't trust most people in Nigeria, l have been taken advantage of several times in my visits to Nigeria, so whenever l land, l am a Ghost to the core although I do help, support and assist as many as I can as led by The celestial forces

lol yeah bro but just like you I am on ghost mode. I know the thread appears concentrated like I am everywhere every time but it's just how I wrote it but most times it's incognito mode . Hiding away from the world while honing my spiritual gifts cuz you know the night is about to turn to day when I would be needed

sukkot:
lol yeah bro but just like you I am on ghost mode. I know the thread appears concentrated like I am everywhere every time but it's just how I wrote it but most times it's incognito mode . Hiding away from the world while honing my spiritual gifts cuz you know the night is about to turn to day when I would be needed

Gbamsulotely, Wisdom, Discretion, inner intuition, your Spiritman, The Celestial forces etc should guide and guard you daily as you live amongst the wolves,

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

/
It is the same reason they advise people against feeding stray cats. They will keep coming back.

/

Skyview01:
I used to work in a bank and at month ends, accounts and transaction fees are charged. We have an instruction to reverse fees ONLY if the customers asked for it. Most rich people will 100% of the time ask for a reversal of the smallest amount and lots of the poor people never ask for their money back.

I have seen up to $180 reversible charges in transaction fees in a poor person's account and could have been reversed if they had asked for it but, guess what, they are either too proud, shy or ignorant to ask.

The distinction between being rich and poor goes deep into mentality and build up of individuals.

If you give 20million dollars each to all the young people today aged 20 years, in 25 years, the rich will still be rich and the poor would have squandered the 20 million dollars and still remain poor.

I give to people that are really in need; the motherless babies home, orphanage homes and the likes of that.

Nicely put.

The folks with true wealth think differently than the poor folks or those below the income ladder.

Only full self-awareness induced by pain would make most of the poor folks to change their limiting mindsets.

1Sharon:
When he told you he was hungry the first time you should have gave him the indomie and left it at that.

no be bad tin e do now

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

Sukkot, how's it going bruv?

Another insightful experience from you!

I have learned over the years to be discretionary when dealing with the human animal. I love to give but would rather do so by giving so that a person can learn to fish. I heard those private security guys in Nigeria earn as little as N20,000 monthly currently.

At 19 years, the teenage guard must learn the art of gratitude and acceptance so he can easily gravitate towards a better employment and situation.

In any event, being an evolved Soul that you are, I want you chat with the guard again like he is your son and remind him about the power of gratitude which would enable him to leapfrog other challenges of life. If he doesn't learn from a person like you, he could join a bad group and bring thieves to rob residents by serving as an informant to armed robbers.


More power to you Sukkot, the "Grandmaster of the entire Lekki Peninsula." Lol.

sukkot:
hey Mariah how are you ? Trust you are well. Yeah you are right. We learn our lessons as we progress in life. Life is the best teacher. Keep in mind this guy is just one very skinny looking harmless looking guy is why I went overboard with the help. He doesn't look dangerous. He just looks like a lost young guy who is trying to do the job to survive but yeah point taken. Never go too far

Have him reassigned immediately.

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

You are right, but you are lucky he didn’t turn around to burgle you or sell you out to armed robbers.

The way i help people is that i let you understand how hard it is to have money or tell you some of my life stories… how i have done cleaning job or security job in the past and how recently i had to trek some miles because i was sincerely broke.

Then after that, let people work for the money. It makes them have dignity and sense of entitlement flies off the window.

The few people i help right now wash my clothes, come to tidy up my space, helps out at my office when my staff is absent, go to market for me and sometimes cook. They run errands for me. For everything someone does for me, i pay them… most times i overpay. Sometimes we calculate things together. There’s dignity like that. When the person is consistent, like one right now, i showed interest in her education and I, out of the blues, called her to contribute to buying her textbooks which she must show me after purchasing them.

I think, from your post, you might have been showing off your privileges unknowingly. You also sounded like you’re up up somewhere and doing him favour, which you started all by yourself but now can’t complete. In an environment where many people are struggling, you do your business discretely. You do your shopping codedly.

You should not only be concerned about his sense of entitlement , but also of your safety, of him doing you evil in revenge. There are stories of people who were maimed by their domestic staff. The way these people think is funny but it is what it is.

sukkot:
hehe mods don't like me. Trust me. Funny I was a mod once . Religion section

Really?
What made them de-mod you?
Did you abuse power? Be honest.

You got it all wrong. They don't think it's humiliating when you give them money or gifts. They think they deserve it and feel humiliated when you stop giving them. They feel as if you are supposed to give them a share of your money. Like their money is theirs to keep while yours is theirs to share.
They start seeing you as proud, arrogant and stingy.

Skyview01:
I used to work in a bank and at month ends, accounts and transaction fees are charged. We have an instruction to reverse fees ONLY if the customers asked for it. Most rich people will 100% of the time ask for a reversal of the smallest amount and lots of the poor people never ask for their money back.

I have seen up to $180 reversible charges in transaction fees in a poor person's account and could have been reversed if they had asked for it but, guess what, they are either too proud, shy or ignorant to ask.

The distinction between being rich and poor goes deep into mentality and build up of individuals.

If you give 20million dollars each to all the young people today aged 20 years, in 25 years, the rich will still be rich and the poor would have squandered the 20 million dollars and still remain poor.

I give to people that are really in need; the motherless babies home, orphanage homes and the likes of that.

Did ot occur to you that the poor may not know that he can ask for a refund? Tell them. Make it a known thing to the public and see if they won't ask for it.

Na small pikin sense dey worry the security guard

Your hater is just that person
You have helped before
Take it or leave it......
Once the help ceases
The hate begins.....
Hate me till thy kingdom come
If l no get, l no get
I no owe your generation Money

sukkot:
i think it's the economy. It has turned everyone cold. Now this particular guy , it appears you have described his background perfectly because I don't understand why he is not in school. He looks Fulani and speaks Fulani so I think he is Fulani. But he speaks and understands English very well

My brother. The economy is bad. Let's stretch out our hands. But the sardines and three. Soft drinks is over doing it


Also don't make it uniform.. If it's Saturdays please stick with that. Which one is grocery shopping again for giving.? Abeg you o. Don't breed an enemy for yourself o


I've been in such situations, the guys attempted to take my life till today. The matter hasn't resolved

delishpot:
You got it all wrong. They don't think it's humiliating when you give them money or gifts. They think they deserve it and feel humiliated when you stop giving them. They feel as if you are supposed to give them a share of your money. Like their money is theirs to keep while yours is theirs to share.
They start seeing you as proud, arrogant and stingy.

Hahaha. If I sbatch your phone there.

delishpot:
Did ot occur to you that the poor may not know that he can ask for a refund? Tell them. Make it a known thing to the public and see if they won't ask for it.

It did occur to me at the time but the bank's policy at that time was not to give back until the customer request for the money. If you don't request for your own money, maybe you do not need it.