₦airaland Forum

mrvitalis:
Don't start with being humble ,start with putting them in their place for the first 6 months ....after that then you can help once in a while they would appreciate

How u treat people when u meet them ,their first mistake, first missed day , first lateness first anything matters in fact the first few months

Learnt this the hard way

good stuff bro

sukkot:
yeah these people see these jobs as survival hustles and are never committed to it. It's the pay. The north is a cheap place to live but down south paying them 30k is a joke . But I am not in charge of paying the guy. In fact left to me I don't see the point in having your own security in a gated estate. It's madness

Yeah mine is not even an estate. I tink its illiteracy becos i cant get why u leave a job without telling ur boss reason.Even my househelp go come my house for morning dey clean dey look me face to face without saying good morning becos she blieve she senior me.
Illiteracy sha

nick50:
Guess the gate man na yoruba...na thier trademark be dat,they even do it in business

fulani or kanuri. One of the two

delishpot:
Is it written as charges for services or just random deduction from the acct? If it is written as charges many people will think it's normal. Not that they like it but they feel it's the expenses associated with banking service they use. If sudden money is withdrawn from people's acct without explanation many would call to confirm what happened and if the bank says it's charges without telling them they can have it reversed then they wouldn't know to ask for it. They will just grumble and lament how the bank is robbing them. Hence I asked, does the bank make it known they can request for and have their money refunded?
Rich people may know about it because they are aware through their bank officers.
Like I said before, if people knew that they could call the bank and have those charges reversed they would. It's not a rich man/ poor man thing

not random charges. They are charges agreed to when accounts were being set up like transaction fees when certain transactions occur in the account. Some accounts have limits of transactions you can do for free and after which you get charged fees.

[quote author=sukkot post=keep doing wats right , u r been a nice person ND not a Mr nice guy as dey would say or neither are u a simp , someday d good hands of time wud revolve and dat same man wud meet people with zero chills in life , then he wud remember those who did him undeserving ]

tonididdy:
That security guard is prolly of igbo origin


... They don't appreciate anything that isn't instant life changing. They see such generosity as their birthright but they can never in turn do it for anyone else

nah he Fulani or kanuri

sukkot:
yeah lmao . Well no more. So many people would scheme to make you their work chop. Especially security guards. I saw the snake this morning unsolicitedly washing the BMW of the Neighbor. He has transferred to another person. I trust that other guy he is not civilised like me. You can wash his car 7 days a week and he will not drop shishi. Rich people are very stingy

Rich people are stingy... Where did you get this?

ednut1:
Sukkot the anti japa expert. You better continue finding him something. Make the boy no kill you or set you up

lol bro I am pro japa . Those threads na just cruising ooo lol.

terrymason:
Let me give you and others here some advice and life hack. This advice was given to me by my Dad.

Never help anybody... even immediate family members, in a orderly manner. Example... giving someone 5k every month. Let your help not be uniform for them to calculate. You can give someone one 20k this month and give then 5k in a week time and give then 10k in 2 months times. Anything that is uniform most times, humans always take it as an entitlement mentality. It's natural.

Most Poor people "Not All", are very wicked. Poverty is just hiding their real nature.

I help randomly. I can't be predicted. Let your help be by the leading and unpredictable.

Much Love.

nice one bro

grandstar:
sukkot

These security men are poorly paid. The ones in my estate get N22k monthly. What can that buy?

Your tips meant a lot to him. It's a shame he became hostile but please forgive him.

Anyways, I feel you were overgenerous with your giving. That sardine added was too much

to be honest with you that sardine was just sitting their for along time and I was never motivated to use it. Not sure why I got it. Fish that will just disintegrate when you use spoon to compress it. Is that one fish lol

Foodqueen:
Op sukkot.

Your life isn't safe with him anymore.

Tell the recruiter to send you someone else.

And don't allow see finish.

In as much as I love to help people especially widows, I keep a straight face too.

Most importantly, I don't start what I can't finish.

oh it's not that serious. It's just a weird guy but he is not dangerous. I read people. Besides I got strong spiritual protection

cococandy:
I think this is a universal experience. After a while they take it for granted. Some don’t even thank you anymore

yeah lol

Skyview01:
not random charges. They are charges agreed to when accounts were being set up like transaction fees when certain transactions occur in the account. Some accounts have limits of transactions you can do for free and after which you get charged fees.

Ohh ok. That doesn't sound like naija banks. Yeah, cos in naija they will ask o. Even if they will use that money foolishly, they will ask for it.

AngelicBeing:
Hahaha, una go kill person with laugh for nairaland.com, that is the way to live and survive in Nigeria especially as a Diasporan otherwise bad people go arrange criminals to either steal from you, kidnap or kill you sef, whenever l land Nigeria, all my movement are discreet, l don't even sleep in my personal home, l keep everyone at arms-lenght, my arrival and departure is hidden on the Top of Mount Everest

When I visited my mum, she was upset and asked why I was dressing like that and not like a diasporan...I told her you don't know what Nigeria has become. I even book like 3 hotels staying in one for not more than a week...so the receptionists don get too familiar. One told me the quality of the simple t-shirt I wore gave me away.

I grew up knowing the streets and I still stay current My driver was frustrated one day and said why don't I go out in the night to enjoy life like other people. I sey were want make I drink and dey vulnerable and easier to kidnap.

Many Nigerians are devil incarnate. Once I finish wetin dey carry me come...I won't visit for a very very long time.

niel63:
Charity is an everyday thing for me.... no matter how small. Its a part of me...


But i nearly slap wax comot for one ear last week. People just dey say, bros! Abeg leave am... guess what.
The guy come dey quote reverse psychology for me...

Telling me he'll eventually makes it and God go do this and that...

I just look at God and smiled.

Omo, you can't stop being good because of some unappreciative lots.

Jump am pass and continue your humanity to the world.
Giving is a gift not so many have.

lol slapping wax Comot ears

RPG2020:
Change your circle ⭕ very important

how so ?

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

I go appreciate that 5k o. Naija and entitlement is 5&6

Kobicove:
Don't make it a habit to be 'dashing' people money anyhow especially if they have not done something to earn it

yes Sir. Word up, as they say

emonis88:
May I ask, which tribe that guy is from?

fulani or kanuri .

Klass99:
Fulani . Those people are not nice o, Sukkot. We had a security guard once from the core north at the first property I rented and it came out later that he was a killer and had killed before. He looked just as innocent and harmless like the guard you have described.

And guess what? Tenants treated him nicely too, like you did yours.......but mehn that guy was a green snake under the green grass. Taking people's words and twisting them to jam heads, telling stories and secrets of tenants who were close to and friendly with him.

Please ehn, can you have the guy replaced with an older and matured person? You guys should start over with someone new and let there be boundaries from the get go. Stop the assumptions that he can't do anything and is harmless. Don't you watch true crime stories? What do you think God means when he says the human heart is desperately wicked?

Indeed... Well said.

Shezzman:
Sorry about that but don't be weary in doing good. If I tell you what my eyes don see ehn. Anyways. Just overlook it and do him good when you feel like.

yes Sir

mastermaestro:
I am more concerned about your safety going forward, oga.

oh my safety is 100 percent guaranteed, my kind Sir . Thank you

hedonido:
There's a law about 'selective generosity' in Robert Greene's legendary treatise, the 48 Laws of Power.

In a wild country like Nigeria in particular, you have to know how to send money on errands. How to use money to buy and maintain influence. But there's an art to it. Mindless and thoughtless generosity would only earn you contempt. But if you know how to use it, boy you would be above the law.

The key is, be sporadic about it. Be unpredictable about it. But most of all, be intentional about it.

NEVER be generous out of pity or kindness. Unless it is pure anonymous charity. People have to earn your generosity. You have to be selfishly generous, lol. It doesn't make sense right? Haha. That's the point. It's only for the initiated.

good stuff

CEOwatazs:
OP Nice one, seems you're one with a good heart. But let me negatively advice you; Your good heart will take you no where especially when dealing with Nigerians.

Don't see as a bad advice rather, take it as it is no matter how inconveniencing it will be on your person.

I have suffered from things like this in the past and currently facing the same.

And in all the times that this happens I'll tell myself never to help anyone again but I always find myself doing that..... It's just clear to me that I can't run away from it.

If you can run away from this pls do.... Some Nigerians are the worst set of people to ever come across in this life.


If I tell you my past and present stories you go just de insult me....

yes Sir and sorry about your past

GodHimself:
Pavlov’s dogs. Classic conditioning.

You conditioned him. And then rubbed insult into his injury by telling him about his conditioning.

hmmm

sukkot:
guys these numbers are hypothetical figures so dont think i go around giving beggars 5000 naira. i was making a point. the guyman i gave 5000 i am acquainted with in some way. so i aint some guy with money to waste, my dm is crazy right now with 5000 naira requests lol.

Our societal and religious values that teaches the rich become rich because of the poor breeds this type of entitlement.

OKOATA:
learn to comment without quoting the whole page. Just type your comment like every other person.

i have learnt something much better to ignore trolls. now fk off attention seeker

ezewealth:
Their are 3 levels of dependancy, I have take my time to study human psychology and behavioral pattern. Give a man a gift first time he will appreciate and thank you. 1st level
Give him the second time, he will anticipate if he comes the third time you till give him. 2nd level
Give him the third time he becomes entitled.
Fourth time, he start depending on you, he fit even fight you for that. E go be like say na him right. That is human behavioral pattern, e just dey wired like that. Intelligent folk know when to cut off so dat he wouldn't be subconsciously dependant. Same apply when you are helping know when to cut off so that your subject would be totally dependant on you. It all apply in the spheres of life.

good stuff. Salute

sukkot:
lol slapping wax Comot ears

That's how much the thing pain me.

GloriousGbola:
i have learnt something much better to ignore trolls. now fk off attention seeker

Bro it's just a harmless advice, no let frustration kee you.

Omoawoke:
Sukkot you are a very useless somebody.

So your purpose of doing charity is to cover your sins (crimes) and for the purpose of getting rewarded. Very selfish wicked hypocrite

it is what it is bro lmao. I do have compassion for real street beggars in the sun though especially those women with children