Ok. This is my personal opinion and do not take it personal as you are entitled to your own opinion as well.

I often hear couples give testimonies about looking for the fruit of the womb for about twenty years and some of them may even be in their fifties or late forties.

My question is, what is stopping these couples from adopting and putting joy in the life of some hopeless baby out there in the motherless homes.

Why are we not able to spread happiness to some hopeless baby while still continue to wait on the lord. Why must we adopt our relatives?

When people tell me they prayed for 15 or 20 years for the fruit of the womb, i consider them with a mixed reaction, some come across to me as selfish to be honest.

You are looking for babies, there are babies out there looking for parents, i believe the law of demand and supply should work here or wada ya think.

If you are out there and looking to God for the fruit of the womb, adoption is a viable option.

I know a lady who had her womb removed during a fibroid operation. She is still praying for the fruit of the womb for the past ten years instead of going to adopt.

Bro you have no idea about this thing. Do you know that many people will prefer they have a wayward child than adopt a good child that is not their blood??. This is in human nature, Abraham was blessed and was riches to adopt any child but God preferred to give him his own child at old age, even having a child with his maid wasn't enough. Bro as far as Christianity is concerned, your true offsprings comes from your blood, not from an adopted child. Let people seek for their own children in peace. The order is from God himself.

Our Africans mentality is the problem. When it comes to adoption , Africans are still behind , many stigmatize the innocent children they make them less privileged in the society.

Victoria938:
Our Africans mentality is the problem. When it comes to adoption , Africans are still behind , many stigmatize the innocent children they make them less privileged in the society.

I agree with you. this mentality is most prevalent in Africa. Hopefully the mentality around adoption changes soon. Steve Jobs of Apple was adopted and he never got to meet his birth father. He considered his adoptive parents as real parents till his demise.

Most Africans that treat girl children, IVF babies, step children and extended relatives's kids with contempt are the ones you hope would adopt strangers children and treat/nurture like their blood? Better no think am. Let them remain selfish in pursuant of their own flesh and blood biko. We do not want nastiness melted to these children.

Havent you read about couples who managed to adopt and then went on to have their own biologically kids open threads to ask which of the kids should inherit their wealth or the first child heritage? It is well.

.

In Nigeria people vehemently fast and pray against doctors expert decision to carry out CS on them for their own children. As long as Hebrew women vaginal delivery is still being held as sacred, adoption is of the devil.

Victoria938
Our Africans mentality is the problem. When it comes to adoption , Africans are still behind , many stigmatize the innocent children they make them less privileged in the society.

Stupid talk. African families have adopted kids and even families centuries before the white man came.
If you ask your father or any elderly person around you about your family history. You'll notice that there are one or two families who are not related by blood to you but are your family members because your grand father gave them lands or shelter in the old days when they have settled or reside till date.

All that prayer and fasting is to have a retirement plan in those kids.

Hmmm

It would be nice if people gave orphans a home but it`s not the same. For a woman, the experience of carrying a baby under her heart is something many want to experience. The couple also wants to see themselves in the child and even the DNA of the grandparents and so on. It`s just different.

So preference and choices skipped your dictionary? It is selfishness because parents prefer to carry their child for 9 months or have children that resembles them abi? Is it by force to adopt kids?

Victoria938:
Our Africans mentality is the problem. When it comes to adoption , Africans are still behind , many stigmatize the innocent children they make them less privileged in the society.

Must everything boil down to African mentality? How does some of you reason sef? What has stigmatisation got to do with adopting kids? If you've never seen African or Nigerian couples adopt kids, say so instead of generalising all as one, or you think everyone in western countries have one or two adopted kids in their home? Because i know your thought process is hell bent on praising oyinbo people, Inferiority complex is bad.

Nobody cares how you make your baby/babies until you begin to do "cho cho cho." If you want adoption, simply go for it. Dem no dey write am for head. New babies are born in this same Nigeria every minute via surrogates, donor eggs, donor sperm, etc. If you fear stigmatisation, then you and your cho cho cho are the problem.

Stop wasting your time trying to find a cure for "stigma". Nigeria hasn't found one for HIV/AIDS stigma after spending billions of Naira for decades. Just go and do whatever you want and quit discussing your life on WhatsApp groups. It is impossible to discuss your life with frustrated people without getting a negative reaction. Some humans naturally try to make others feel inferior.

How you make your baby should never be an issue or something as important as the kind of training you give your child. Anini's (the notorious armed robber) mother probably spent less than a minute in the "labour room." She delivered "like a Hebrew woman."

Aonkuuse:
Bro you have no idea about this thing. Do you know that many people will prefer they have a wayward child than adopt a good child that is not their blood??. This is in human nature, Abraham was blessed and was rich to adopt any child but God preferred to give him his own child at old age, even having a child with his maid wasn't enough. Bro as far as Christianity is concerned, your true offsprings comes from your blood, not from an adopted child. Let people seek for their own children in peace. The order is from God himself.

Can you mention the part(s) of the bible that established who the true offspring is?

Apart from the stress involved in adopting, there's a fear that the adopted child may still find his real parents thereby not appreciating the adopted parents. Also the fear of culture and what will people say especially when family matters are concerned. Some family members especially the archaic illiterate ones will never accept the child and will make sure that child is reminded about it all the time which can make him feel unwelcome and insecure in the extended family.

Orphanage Home isn't our Tradition or thing. We have an actively involved Extended family lifestyle.
An Orphan will definitely be housed by his/ her uncle , grand ma or even a distant relative.
The white doesn't practice such massive Extended Familiy inclusion like we the black , thereby making adoption a tough decision here. Since it is believed most babies in the Orphanage homes aren't really Orphans, but from some ladies reckless lifestyle with some kind of irresponsible man.
On a good scale, most assumptions such as;
1. The adopted child might end up following the parts or lifestyle of his/her biological mother or father is 70% True. In a Sane society how will a man and woman be so reckless to birth and abandon a child, moving on like nothing ever happened. To me that is the hight of irresponsibility and shouldn't be encouraged in Africa.
Almajiri in Northern Nigeria, if we were to be in the US, will be accepted into orphanage Home and put up for adoption. Meanwhile their parents are still existing and still populating the earth surface.

How many have you adopted?

Their life, their choice

Major Issue is ,once these kids grow up and know about themselves ,they will go to any length to find their biological parents .

It's natural and it must happen ! Most times they start seeing the adopted parents as wicked and inconsiderate if you try to stop them.

I can't sow and then one woman somewhere that recklessly abandoned her child will reap it and the kid starts seeing me as a second option and whatnot.

I'd rather go with Ivf or No-contact surrogacy.

I see adoption as an amazing thing but at the same time, if people want their own genetic offspring and they’re willing to wait 100 years for it to happen, that’s their right/prerogative. It’s weird when people try to coerce people into adopting.

poshestmina:
Major Issue is ,once these kids grow up and know about themselves ,they will go to any length to find their biological parents .

It's natural and it must happen ! Most times they start seeing the adopted parents as wicked and inconsiderate if you try to stop them.

I can't sow and then one woman somewhere that recklessly abandoned her child will reap it and the kid starts seeing me as a second option and whatnot.

I'd rather go with Ivf or No-contact surrogacy.

@bold:

😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃

Their life, their choice

MasterJayJay:
How many have you adopted?

I have enough kids already but if i did not have a child and my wife is unable to conceive for lets say 10 years, i will go the adoption route.

Hathor5:
It would be nice if people gave orphans a home but it`s not the same. For a woman, the experience of carrying a baby under her heart is something many want to experience. The couple also wants to see themselves in the child and even the DNA of the grandparents and so on. It`s just different.

I know people without a womb who keep praying for a miracle the past ten years.

Adoption is a sure route.

Skyview01:


I know people without a womb who keep praying for a miracle the past ten years.

Adoption is a sure route.

How did you know they are without womb?
Womb watcher

Skyview01:


I have enough kids already but if i did not have a child and my wife is unable to conceive for lets say 10 years, i will go the adoption route.

Who made it a rule that adoption should be for only those struggling to conceive?
My point is you should stop calling others selfish because they want kids with their DNA. There are those that have their own biological kids and still went ahead to adopt but you have not adopted and you have not seen yourself as being selfish.

Skyview01:


I know people without a womb who keep praying for a miracle the past ten years.

Adoption is a sure route.

Surrogacy can make a woman without womb have her own biological kids.

MasterJayJay:

Who made it a rule that adoption should be for only those struggling to conceive?
My point is you should stop calling others selfish because they want kids with their DNA. There are those that have their own biological kids and still went ahead to adopt but you have not adopted and you have not seen yourself as being selfish.

Didn't you see where I stated it was my opinion or you want me to define what an opinion means?

MasterJayJay:

Who made it a rule that adoption should be for only those struggling to conceive?
My point is you should stop calling others selfish because they want kids with their DNA. There are those that have their own biological kids and still went ahead to adopt but you have not adopted and you have not seen yourself as being selfish.

Who made it a rule that adoption should be for only those struggling to conceive?

Why would you want more kids when you have enough based on available resources or you don't realize you need resources to raise kids both time, finance and emotion.

The topic was for those who are struggling to have kids and are waiting 10 to 20 years to have miracle babies.

Skyview01:
Ok. This is my personal opinion and do not take it personal as you are entitled to your own opinion as well.

I often hear couples give testimonies about looking for the fruit of the womb for about twenty years and some of them may even be in their fifties or late forties.

My question is, what is stopping these couples from adopting and putting joy in the life of some hopeless baby out there in the motherless homes.

Why are we not able to spread happiness to some hopeless baby while still continue to wait on the lord. Why must we adopt our relatives?

When people tell me they prayed for 15 or 20 years for the fruit of the womb, i consider them with a mixed reaction, some come across to me as selfish to be honest.

You are looking for babies, there are babies out there looking for parents, i believe the law of demand and supply should work here or wada ya think.

If you are out there and looking to God for the fruit of the womb, adoption is a viable option.

I know a lady who had her womb removed during a fibroid operation. She is still praying for the fruit of the womb for the past ten years instead of going to adopt.

one main reason is stigma from society and family

Let me give you example how manu wome women have been dumped or hubby gets a second wife after wife has gave birth to girls only ? So think of the stigma of just having girls and tha one adopting, she might called Not Real mother, statements like you dont know labour pain etc

On hubby is the same, he can be called names for not even being able to have a child, not a real man for not able to have his own child

Most africans shun from
adopting strangers due to spiritual
beliefs , what if the child is cursed, that a no ho area for most africans, hence you find that adopation laws in most african countries are hard, i think there are based on fear of bringing a curse into the family

Acidosis:
Anini's (the notorious armed robber) mother probably spent less than a minute in the "labour room." She gave birth like a Hebrew woman.

and did thanksgiving too