My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

I will advice her to be submissive

Mscheeeeew

ahnie:
Mscheeeeew

what do you have to say?

Manage what you have considering your age
If you don't mind me asking,why did it take you this long

tommy589:
Manage what you have considering your age
If you don't mind me asking,why did it take you this long

too much life enjoyment

Fineman2:
My name is Dora. I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side. My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon. My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married. The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be. From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge. He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring. He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married. I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding. Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Who says a woman cannot live without being married? Why is the Nigerian society so toxic towards single women?

Look if you have noticed these signs before marriage, just know that it will continue after marriage as well. If you are really saying the truth about him being very controling and domineering, as well as always listening to his family and you having no say in any decision making, then lady you have a serious decision to make. Cheers.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora. I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side. My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon. My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married. The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be. From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge. He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring. He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married. I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding. Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

You're in a very precarious situation.
Your fears are very logical. How can one get married to a man who has to run to his family members before he can decide on what to do?! He prolly doesn't understand what marriage is since he's never been married before even at his age or maybe he's grown too dependent on his people.
The normal theory is, if you proceed with the marriage, you should expect his family to always have the final say on some of the important moments in your life.
I'm not saying one should cut off his people when it's time to settle down but a good man must know what should remain between himself and his bride, and what his family can jump into.

Fineman2:
too much life enjoyment

Oh! I see
Well,you are going to lost the independence and those unchallenged choices you made while single. But if you know how to manage the marriage game,you may finally have his mumu button

My only advice is that if he doesn't see you as his priority and vice versa, don't get married to him. It is better you are single than getting it wrong at this age.

I find it amusing that he has no mind of his at his age. You could think you will be submissive which you should be however to who? If his family starts running your home, are you still willing to be submissive?

Lastly, marriage requires determination, hardwork, and sacrifice therefore, it is better to count the cost and be willing to do all to pay before getting into it.

Did you seek the face of God before getting this far? It is never to late to ask God before you tie the knot.

Let God direct your choice not your age. Marriage without seeking God's direction before proceeding is baba ijebu.

God is the foundation of marriage. Seek His face before it's too late.

Call off the wedding, and hunt for a man who is less controlling.

Who knows you might find one in few weeks time or even when you clock 48 years old.

Good luck!

Fineman2:
The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be. From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge. He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring. He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married. I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding. Are these not red flags I should run from?
I am confused, please advise me.

You see red flags all over the place yet you dey ask for advice? For what? If to wear Mrs. title dey hungry you so much, who can stop you?

adetunrayo:
Did you seek the face of God before getting this far? It is never to late to ask God before you tie the knot. Let God direct your choice not your age. Marriage without seeking God's direction before proceeding is baba ijebu. God is the foundation of marriage. Seek His face before it's too late.

Leave God out of all this abeg! God washed His hands off marriage back in Genesis 3 vs 16 so you are supposed to use your brain for your own self when picking a partner. Look around you, even your pastors don't get spouses from God who said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36.

all men are scum

tommy589:
Manage what you have considering your age
If you don't mind me asking,why did it take you this long

Think it thru before u say I do



I hate third party interference o unless it is critical

adetunrayo:
Did you seek the face of God before getting this far? It is never to late to ask God before you tie the knot.

Let God direct your choice not your age. Marriage without seeking God's direction before proceeding is baba ijebu.

God is the foundation of marriage. Seek His face before it's too late.

did these 3 pastors not seek the face of God Okotie, Oyakhilome and iginla

To the poster the signs of suffering are there. It will only get worse

They are my dear. But your decision should be predicated on your inner conviction. Marriage is a long journey. He can change along the line. But you should have known this all along. LET GOD GUIDE YOU.

Dear, the bitter truth is that it's a RED FLAG for you.

All those "boys" that their Mommas control like a Remote Key are always pest in marriage.

He is 40 years of age but not really mature in marriage, can he be man enough to take personal and sensitive decisions without the intrude of his Mom, I doubt that.

anything that u cant make a person do before u marry them u can never do after u get married.

know this and know peace

whatever u accept now is forever

You can marry him cos age is not on your side but keep talking to him and be a good wife,cook his best meal,clean up for him,do well in za oda room, pray for him and together.he might change when he sees how you care for him

Damnnn niggar
Grab my weed while I read comments

Marry him, you divorce later atleast you would have kids and no one would say you didnt marry.

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Bear in mind that all men are cheat. Don't enter the marriage and start complaining that he cheated. Pretend you didn't see anything. That's how our mothers managed our fathers. Your marriage will last long and fruitful

If you can't submit to your husband, better back out now and wait for Mr right.

There's no perfect man or marriage anywhere. It'll be easier for you to adjust to some certain things while inside than trying to control the same thing from outside

Is he the only one doing the expenses? At 35 u should be able to to contribute in order to have a stake.

Seems like you want a wedding and not marriage

You are getting married to a 40 years old boy

Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

Devil has started using you to spoil your own wedding. Wait a minute what business do you have with the wedding rings ?
Your village people deh give you ideas abi.. go ahead. Your age is not far from 40 ..

You’re not 22 anymore. Accept whoever comes your way. You’re not in a position to be selective regarding any little action he makes. Things may get better after marriage. I surely believe they won’t. Buckle up if you don’t have second to fourth options. Choose another if you do.

Typical Dear Joro to Joro post 🤣🤣🤣, it didn't take me 2mins to deduce that, cos I'm a 2mins man 🤣🤣🤣.
Na you still create topic last month about a 35-year-old married woman with trust issues.

https://www.nairaland.com/7691434/married-woman-needs-advice

This time you're also 35yrs but never married.

I don't waste precious advice on fictional characters.