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This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married (52665 Views)

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Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Colitis: 2:56pm On Jun 02, 2023
L
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Enemyofpeace: 2:56pm On Jun 02, 2023
Medically dangerous to conceed baby and, if she managed to conceed baby, it is also dangerous for her to deliverance the baby becourse of her age
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Emmanuel909090: 2:57pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.



What do you guys even call red flag?

A man is supposed to be in control, the only problem I have is his decisions being dependent on his family asides that he is a man and need to act one.

5 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by lomprico(m): 2:57pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.


Talk to the nigga about it

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by HEBEI: 2:57pm On Jun 02, 2023
If you don't like what you are seeing now, please call off the wedding, because it would continue or even get worse after the wedding.

Marriage is sweet when true love is there. And true love can only be there if the couple understand themselves.

3 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by MrBrownJay1(m): 2:57pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.
I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.
My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.
My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.
The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.
From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.
He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.
He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.
I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.
Are these not red flags I should run from?
I am confused, please advise me.

of course any normal person in your shoes would/should RUUUUN, but the important question IS: how desperate are you to get married?

the dude is showing you his true controlling face, dont ignore it.

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by BigBlackPreek(m): 2:57pm On Jun 02, 2023
I'm 31 leaving my life not to anyone but myself coz I'm having limited time on here

3 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by SafariHunter(m): 2:58pm On Jun 02, 2023
H
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by LeyeWrites: 2:58pm On Jun 02, 2023
Kajaard:


Who says a woman cannot live without being married? Why is the Nigerian society so toxic towards single women?

Look if you have noticed these signs before marriage, just know that it will continue after marriage as well. If you are really saying the truth about him being very controling and domineering, as well as always listening to his family and you having no say in any decision making, then lady you have a serious decision to make. Cheers.
Are you a woman?

Are you single?


If no, then silence is a better option.

2 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Mummyfour(f): 2:58pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

serious red flag.
You never grind beans, moi moi don dey smell.

Use your tongue count your teeth.
Better a failed courtship than a failed marriage especially if there is no understanding and compromise as it stands at this period of courtship

5 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by LugardD1: 2:58pm On Jun 02, 2023
Get sense for once, who told you all men are cheats? All women are what?
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kobojunkie: 2:59pm On Jun 02, 2023
Toscarel:
Marry him, you divorce later atleast you would have kids and no one would say you didnt marry.
If she isn't Osinachi-ed before then, right? undecided
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by obinna58(m): 3:00pm On Jun 02, 2023
tommy589:
Manage what you have considering your age
If you don't mind me asking,why did it take you this long
Are you so blind? She wants a man she’ll control and thought she found him only for things to overturn at the dying minute

He took the wheel at extra time and she’s not having it

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by CodeTemplar: 3:00pm On Jun 02, 2023
When you need to see into the future, you should seek the creator of marriage and a future for advise and not intellectual advise from anonymous entities who have no attachment or empathy as relates to your situation.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Toscarel: 3:01pm On Jun 02, 2023
I dont think she mentioned him being vawulent

Kobojunkie:
If she isn't Osinachi-ed before then, right? undecided

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Vision101(m): 3:01pm On Jun 02, 2023
My dear marriage require hard work, real hard work. Nothing is complete but you have to make it complete ✅.

2 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Mayeldah(m): 3:01pm On Jun 02, 2023
Talk to him about it in a polite manner and make him understand how such behaviour makes you feel

if he is not changing, get someone else he listens to, to talk to him about it. We should learn to make efforts in resolving conflicts and not run once our partner just behaves in a way we don;t like.

Some people do change when you talk to them, not every adult sticks to their learned behaviour all the time when corrected, some responds

However, follow your heart after you have done all these and he isn't changing

I wish you well

4 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by obinna58(m): 3:01pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

So what’s wrong with him taking charge? Are siofra
Siofra come see your fate
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by babzlim(m): 3:01pm On Jun 02, 2023
seat him down and have a one on one talk with him if possible tell him how scared you are concerning his new attitude and how much he has changed, after the talk if you still don't see any changes my sister the advice I will give you is same I will give my own biological sister.

RUN IN CAPITAL LETTER.

Trust me is better to live a single life and be happy then to be in an abusive marriage either male or female.

3 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Pakwel(m): 3:02pm On Jun 02, 2023
Please do not listen to this people hear oh.. abeg you with God. Most of the ladies here after given you bad advice they will locate that your man and submit to him. You think men are scum,? Ladies hates ladies progess. Especially marital progress

2 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kajaard: 3:02pm On Jun 02, 2023
LeyeWrites:
Are you a woman?

Are you single?


If no, then silence is a better option.

Shut your trap.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by capnies: 3:02pm On Jun 02, 2023
GET MARRIED TO HIM
YOU SAID HE WAS NOT LIKE THAT BEFORE.
HE'S JUST LOOKING FOR WAYS TO REDUCE EXPENSES.
I WANT TO ATTEND YOUR CHILD DEDICATION NEXT YEAR.
.MUCH LOVE

3 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kobojunkie: 3:03pm On Jun 02, 2023
Toscarel:
I dont think she mentioned him being vawulent
She said he is controlling, a sign of a potentially violent being. undecided

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by kenolsquad(m): 3:04pm On Jun 02, 2023
People who pay bills don’t seek the opinions of dependents except for when it really matters.
Secondly, you should expect changes in temperament especially when one finances a venture with no +ve plowback.

2 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by LUCASC(m): 3:04pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

You didn’t mention if he’s the one in charge of the bills here😁.
Have you considered that he is considering the fact that he is the one who sponsors all the expenses?

He might just be a cautious spender to avoid unnecessary debt after marriage considering the price of things now in the market.

You are considering people's opinion, on this without judging this from all angles.

I will advise you not to put all your efforts in planning for wedding but life after wedding that's where you will know for yourself.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by akevic: 3:04pm On Jun 02, 2023
Why allow third party into your marriage even before it starts. Your fiancé is childish as well as u who is bringing it to this platform for discussion. You will definitely hear several opinions that will destroy your marriage. If u are waiting to see a perfect man, u better think twice or remain single.

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Mayeldah(m): 3:05pm On Jun 02, 2023
Enemyofpeace:
Medically dangerous to conceed baby and, if she managed to conceed baby, it is also dangerous for her to deliverance the baby becourse of her age

Baba, your dad deserves a refund for those school fees paid years back grin

4 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Nobody: 3:05pm On Jun 02, 2023
Why do folks see marriage as the end goal in life, marriage is not a do or die affair ohh
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Ellasure: 3:07pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.


Dora, I will plead with you not to listen to nay sayers and the lonely kids on this topic.

can I tell you that your man is just feeling happy and he is trying to be a man first time in his life. kindly stay supportive and enjoy the provisions and arrangements he is making towards the marriage. besides, I am sure that there are some inputs you will still make in conjunction with your mother in law.

also use this time to assess the family you are marrying into instead of living in fear or terror of the unknown. at 35 you are fully matured and be more patience with your thinking and conclusions.

best wishes and almighty God guidance over you.

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by flokii: 3:07pm On Jun 02, 2023
Hmm.. hanty you don old o. Don't throw this one away because of minor issues that can be resolved.
Remember menopause now start at 38-40yrs for some women. Ire o.

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