My dad is a really good guy, I love him so much and he's gentle most times. Though he gets angry sometimes but he's reasonable about everything he does.

I came home 11:30 which is very late and I knew that and I even hated it too that I came home this late so I was trying to avoid him even when he asked to come to his room because I had a gut feeling that things won't gi right.

But I ended up going to get my charger that was with him, then for the first 5 minutes in he was making sense about why I came home late and I was agreeing to it that it's true

Then all of a sudden he starts saying "what will people think?" "Neighbors are watching" "they'll start saying god forbid, like father like son" "I nor fit let my pikin be like this boy" "which kind family be this, see when their son dey come house?" "People are watching, people are judging" and even more words and it started getting annoying to me, then he said they will say "see when this small pikin dey come house"

It was at that moment that I shut it down, I've never been that way to him but it was so infuriating, I told him I'm not a child I'm 18 which is legal age, I work for my money, I make 50k to 300k a month on my own; no neighbors give me food when I'm hungry, the landlord doesn't clean my eyes when they hurt from viewing my phone too much so I don't give a Bleep what they think of me. I told him to not put all those orientations in my head because it affected me alot when I was younger and it made me timid and shy and scared of being myself or having different opinions and that's what I'm trying to fix in myself and my mindset now.

What I do feel bad about is last year I paid for the house rent and packing when I had alot of money, I brought it up when I was talking to him and said "I paid for this house with my own money so who is landlord or the neighbors for me to be sacred to come in and out of my own home, I know what I did is wrong and I'm sorry but don't put those bad thoughts in my head" I shouldn't have said that though by bringing up what I did for family. He only called me back and said "don't worry I won't talk to you anymore until I use my own money to pay for the house next time" I didn't say anything because i know I was wrong and nothing good would come out of talking back, I just left his room.



What's your thoughts on the matter?

What pissed me off asides from things he said was the fact that he was putting himself down and the family down with his words all because of what other people will think. God! I hate it so much because he's been doing that for years always comparing us to other people, wanting us to behave in a way that won't upset people, to be seen as perfect and likable by everybody and when I realized this fact I start working on myself till this day, i still get that feeling of timidity but I always push through because really who gives a Bleep what people think of me that's why I was so timid when younger that I hated myself. Coming home late was wrong and I told him that yes it's true but those things he was saying is where we had the issue.

DamianDd:
My dad is a really good guy, I love him so much and he's gentle most times. Though he gets angry sometimes but he's reasonable about everything he does.

I came home 11:30 which is very late and I knew that and I even hated it too that I came home this late so I was trying to avoid him even when he asked to come to his room because I had a gut feeling that things won't gi right.

But I ended up going to get my charger that was with him, then for the first 5 minutes in he was making sense about why I came home late and I was agreeing to it that it's true

Then all of a sudden he starts saying "what will people think?" "Neighbors are watching" "they'll start saying god forbid, like father like son" "I nor fit let my pikin be like this boy" "which kind family be this, see when their son dey come house?" "People are watching, people are judging" and even more words and it started getting annoying to me, then he said they will say "see when this small pikin dey come house"

It was at that moment that I shut it down, I've never been that way to him but it was so infuriating, I told him I'm not a child I'm 18 which is legal age, I work for my money, I make 50k to 300k a month on my own; no neighbors give me food when I'm hungry, the landlord doesn't clean my eyes when they hurt from viewing my phone too much so I don't give a Bleep what they think of me. I told him to not put all those orientations in my head because it affected me alot when I was younger and it made me timid and shy and scared of being myself or having different opinions and that's what I'm trying to fix in myself and my mindset now.

What I do feel bad about is last year I paid for the house rent and packing when I had alot of money, I brought it up when I was talking to him and said "I paid for this house with my own money so who is landlord or the neighbors for me to be sacred to come in and out of my own home, I know what I did is wrong and I'm sorry but don't put those bad thoughts in my head" I shouldn't have said that though by bringing up what I did for family. He only called me back and said "don't worry I won't talk to you anymore until I use my own money to pay for the house next time" I didn't say anything because i know I was wrong and nothing good would come out of talking back, I just left his room.



What's your thoughts on the matter?

Nice!

You are a real man..

DamianDd:
What pissed me off asides from things he said was the fact that he was putting himself down and the family down with his words all because of what other people will think. God! I hate it so much because he's been doing that for years always comparing us to other people, wanting us to behave in a way that won't upset people, to be seen as perfect and likable by everybody and when I realized this fact I start working on myself till this day, i still get that feeling of timidity but I always push through because really who gives a Bleep what people think of me that's why I was so timid when younger that I hated myself. Coming home late was wrong and I told him that yes it's true but those things he was saying is where we had the issue.

He wants to condition you..

You have to mingle, na norms..

This not 1960, were they get things for free.

He is from a different time, You know this. He is a good man as you have said. You should apologize. Even at 40 you are still his kid and he would look out for you. 11:30 is not a decent time, maybe next time you put a call through to the house if you were running late, that’s another way you could have handled it. You should apologize.

DamianDd:
What pissed me off asides from things he said was the fact that he was putting himself down and the family down with his words all because of what other people will think. God! I hate it so much because he's been doing that for years always comparing us to other people, wanting us to behave in a way that won't upset people, to be seen as perfect and likable by everybody and when I realized this fact I start working on myself till this day, i still get that feeling of timidity but I always push through because really who gives a Bleep what people think of me that's why I was so timid when younger that I hated myself. Coming home late was wrong and I told him that yes it's true but those things he was saying is where we had the issue.

You remind me of me🤓. You unlearning certain things is suppose to be your card to being better. Let the old man be. No vex . Just apologize and move on. You are a man by actions not by careless talks. He knows you are a man

wahles:

You remind me of me🤓. You unlearning certain things is suppose to be your card to being better. Let the old man be. No vex . Just apologize and move on. You are a man by actions not by careless talks. He knows you are a man

Omoh I guess so, I'll apologize when the time is right.... Let's just give it time. I know him well

I must commend your dad for his patience. He is a real man!

If I was your dad, you will be on a wheelchair with no arms and legs. I will report myself to the police station when I am done with you!

You have a great dad.

LikeAking:


Nice!

You are a real man..

For coming back late, and challenging the father?

An 18yr old in Nigeria is different from an 18yr old in the West.

If you believe that's what it takes to be a real man, then you're a mad man

Lol 😂 i remember, many years ago, when i was preparing for my bach eve. Popsy called me and said that he heard my siblings talking about me & friends arranging bach eve. I said yes, that correct. He said i should not do it, and if i must it must not be a night party, that we should do it like 12pm-4pm, and that there should not be any alcoholic drinks and stuffs like that.

With an innocent look, i said OK, i have heard. I left his presence.

Omo, the party loud gann, college chicks, booze, DJ music, food, smoke plenty well well, even my brothers inlaw came around and enjoyed themselves. Started the party around11 pm and ended like 4am ( on the wedding day).

Poppsy got a wind of how the party went and all that. Popsy didn't even mention it again till date.

What I'm saying is.... If possible do not engage ur popman in disrespectful arguments. "OK sir, yes sir, no wahala", should be your response when you went to his room that night, or whenever stuffs like this want to happen.

Just be a good person and be moderate in your doings, he won't bother you again.

wahles:
He is from a different time, You know this. He is a good man as you have said. You should apologize. Even at 40 you are still his kid and he would look out for you. 11:30 is not a decent time, maybe next time you put a call through to the house if you were running late, that’s another way you could have handled it. You should apologize.

You're a darling dear.
You nailed it.




Watch how some DAMAGED iron condemn people go come hailam for talking back at his dad.
YSSG aren't left out.

Pride...

Just because u paid the rent for one year, u have become equal with ur dad who has housed, clothed, and fed u for over 18 years.

The discipline we received from our parents is the principal factor why we are not on the streets as thugs and miscreants.

Time will come when u will value the discipline that's if you will get off that high horse in ur head.

Kids

I think you should move out and get your own place to stay since you're now an adult and you make your own money.

Because as long as you're in your parents house, you'll need to obey all their rules.

SangoOlukosoOba:
I must commend your dad for his patience. He is a real man!

If I was your dad, you will be on a wheelchair with no arms and legs. I will report myself to the police station when I am done with you!

You have a great dad.

Yes, OP did wrong reminding his father he paid the house rent as a teenager which passed a judgement of failure on his dad but the father going violent on him for that, is certainly out of place, If you do such and report yourself to the police, they would first mock you with "oga you get power to beat your pikin but you no get power to pay rent".

DamianDd:
My dad is a really good guy, I love him so much and he's gentle most times. Though he gets angry sometimes but he's reasonable about everything he does.

I came home 11:30 which is very late and I knew that and I even hated it too that I came home this late so I was trying to avoid him even when he asked to come to his room because I had a gut feeling that things won't gi right.

But I ended up going to get my charger that was with him, then for the first 5 minutes in he was making sense about why I came home late and I was agreeing to it that it's true

Then all of a sudden he starts saying "what will people think?" "Neighbors are watching" "they'll start saying god forbid, like father like son" "I nor fit let my pikin be like this boy" "which kind family be this, see when their son dey come house?" "People are watching, people are judging" and even more words and it started getting annoying to me, then he said they will say "see when this small pikin dey come house"

It was at that moment that I shut it down, I've never been that way to him but it was so infuriating, I told him I'm not a child I'm 18 which is legal age, I work for my money, I make 50k to 300k a month on my own; no neighbors give me food when I'm hungry, the landlord doesn't clean my eyes when they hurt from viewing my phone too much so I don't give a Bleep what they think of me. I told him to not put all those orientations in my head because it affected me alot when I was younger and it made me timid and shy and scared of being myself or having different opinions and that's what I'm trying to fix in myself and my mindset now.

What I do feel bad about is last year I paid for the house rent and packing when I had alot of money, I brought it up when I was talking to him and said "I paid for this house with my own money so who is landlord or the neighbors for me to be sacred to come in and out of my own home, I know what I did is wrong and I'm sorry but don't put those bad thoughts in my head" I shouldn't have said that though by bringing up what I did for family. He only called me back and said "don't worry I won't talk to you anymore until I use my own money to pay for the house next time" I didn't say anything because i know I was wrong and nothing good would come out of talking back, I just left his room.



What's your thoughts on the matter?

To everyone reading this, don't get married and bear kids if you are not ready to be rational, logical and open minded about the truth. Be ready to kill your ego in order to learn. I was so blind and shortsighted in the past but of course, I grew to learn a lot. I was the type that would condemn a man or woman for getting home by 10pm and above, I would usually ask, what is he or she doing outside by that time of the night? Oh he/she must be cheating or doing something unscrupulous I would always conclude.

Bros, let me tell you, like Paul would say, I want to speak from a logical perspective not necessarily from a spiritual standpoint. This doesn't mean that my opinion is wrong either. I work in a company where we run shifts. I sometimes leave home as early as 4:30am when I am on morning shift and get back home as late(in fact, early if I am able to get taxi's quick enough) as 11:00pm or beyond when I am on noon shift. I never considered this in the past but if you are as blindsided as I was in the past, please make sure you provide jobs for your kids so they wouldn't have to work odd jobs and come home at such late hours.

Many people have destroyed the doggedness in their male children all because they have chosen to be limited by their experiences and stories they've heard. You should have asked him if he'd bear the responsibility if you end up as a failed adult 30 years from now. Many men have failed, are raising failures because of this mindset. It's good that you consider how your actions are perceived by others but can't you have a mind of your own to determine what is good and right for you? I was alway bullied because of my size but I remember getting so huge and big later because I was bulking up and getting toned up. I once weighed around 115kg with toned muscles. Some people complained to my parents and my mom took that up, began to complain about my weight. You know what, during this time, my dad once took me to one of his parcels of land when a bully was trying to encroach into it. When the bully saw me, he was shocked and that was the last I heard of his rants.

Infact, I dey enter as body guard for my papa motor when I dey with am that time if he is carrying huge sum of money. Once he has some huge cash, he'd call and have me come around before he can move out the cash.

Your dad is a patient and nice man, and the reason why you had the guts to confront him is because you paid rent, at his down time you insulted him with that, how wrong of you

Growing up, my only brother never said the trash you said to your dad, he never came back home late at night, he never brought ladies to the house or to sleep overnight, watching movies overnight was never allowed, and so much more, these principles stayed with the six of us till adulthood, it is not hard for you to retrace your steps, apologise to your dad and do the right thing, you don't have be out late to have fun.

You are a real man!
Find a way to move out!! You will never be great there... apologize n strategize quickly.

I'm going to take your Dad's side because he did not speak to you rudely nor angrily, but your own reaction and words ( e.g. "...I don't give a bleep/fck what they think of me" ) were rude. You shouldn't have spoken to him in that manner. He really must be gentle because you wouldn't have gotten away speaking to another Nigerian parent so disrespectfully.

Secondly, it's his house, so if he thinks you coming home late will create a negative impression with his neighbors and decided to talk to you about it (and he did so gently, for that matter), he's within his right. He did not deserve the response you gave him. You've a lot of audacity o.

Lastly, if you think you're such a big man at 18 and you've your own money, then kindly leave his house. Living in his house and thinking you can enter at any time you want and then disrespect him further when he expresses his displeasure at that, is unacceptable.

H

Be mindful of your words. That statement was hurtful

If he disturb you again knack am better 2by2. Fück every bagga wey try disturb any nigga

Hmmmmmn

👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯

I think the fact that you make small change monthly entered your head, would you had shut him down if he was the one paying the rent and taking care of you? get this straight, if you weren't earning money, your dad will never ask you to leave his house and will never stop advising you as he tried to do. But because you think you've made it, you had the guts to challenge your dad, he wasn't aggressive not violent... No, just his personal opinion which you could have handled differently then you chose to humiliate him, I'm sure he's regretting why he's living in a house you pay for or the woes that befell him financially, then with your arrogance you expect to be applauded... Shame on you. Like father like son indeed..

Ok. I appreciate your doggedness but u have to show some respect next time.

This is the result of a woke generation. Sad enough, some bandits above are commending Op for talking back on his father, this is the kind of society we now find ourselves. Because you are 18 and you pay family house rent, so you now have power to talk back at your father or come late at night, what happens if you are as rich as Wizkid? May be you will be asking your parents to prostrate for you to greet you every morning or you will be asking the whole street to lie down for you to walk on their back.
Anyway, in all you do, don't forget karma.

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Useless boy and bragging .U make 50/300k a month ,who ask u? My 22 years old lil man already rent his apartment/pay his bills by himself. Kindly carry ur bag outta that house and go RENT ur own room. U are free to even come back home at 3.00AM,nobody go drag u,just pray u don't jam those overall men in black on patrol. U lack home training. Nonsense