Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It - Family (6)

Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by lomprico(m): 4:48pm On Jul 05, 2023

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Rent an apartment for them if you don't want them living with you.

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by frozen70(f): 4:50pm On Jul 05, 2023

Wizywiz:
Nneoma... Happy New month.....ke kwanu

Nwanne adikwam good

Happy new month to you

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Moving4: 4:54pm On Jul 05, 2023

Bros in dis times dat pple are afraid to give birth to 3 kids & u want to take care of 4 others incudin ur wife & kids? U wil regret dis decision in a short while cos d load wil b too much 4u to carry.

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by ogaaza(m): 4:56pm On Jul 05, 2023

Please and please allow her even if you do not have the means at present. It is a blessing in disguise for you.

BR

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Kakamorufu(m): 4:59pm On Jul 05, 2023

Run oooo.
She's a selfish woman. Is she working??
How much are you earning in this economy that will cater the feeding of 6 people.
You just want to suffer yourself under the guise of love.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by KingExalted: 5:00pm On Jul 05, 2023

Allowing the sisters to live with you is not the issue. But giving it as a condition for the marriage. That's my problem. For your wife to insist that her sisters must be in your house means she has more problems than what you think. Please, check your compatibility with her before you move on.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by emmaodet: 5:04pm On Jul 05, 2023

LordAdam16:
For your daughter's sake, take her away from that environment.

Go to court. Or you take the law into your own hands and use a squad of soldiers to retrieve your kid.

That woman will wreck you. The red flag when she dey wave so, I assure you say astronauts for the International Space Station dey see am. How are you entertaining the idea of living the rest of life with a woman who's using your child as ransom? Na jazz! Read the fable of the Scorpion and the Frog. You're the frog.

All of the money you'd spend on taking care of your ex's sibs should be expended on your kid. Hire a nanny, au pair, or governess. Let the kid spend weekends with a responsible family member or deacon. Send her to a Catholic school. Get her a godmother.

In high school, two friends didn't live with their mothers. One's father was a State HOA member, the other's pop was an expat. Dem chop life then, dem still dey chop life till now. Upper class men know when to discard women who'd make their life difficult and focus on their kids.

Dangote wife no dey with am. Him female pikin (Halima) nai go take over. She's being groomed. Adenuga female pikin (Bella) na still heir apparent. Na him first wife born am.

No go arrange load wen u no fit carry. 4 siblings plus your pikin and her and yourself. Family of 7. And you just start life. Ogbeni, pity yourself.

The axiom, two wrongs do not make a right, na for this your situation. No say because you make mistake give wrong person belle, kon say you 1 double down put am for house. Na your village people dey call you so, no pick abeg.

-Lord

2 Likes

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Nobody: 5:06pm On Jul 05, 2023

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Why will you allow her four siblings into your home? Do you realize you're being blackmailed? And she is using the kid as leverage. It's time you man up. Less talk and more action. Give her a last chance to take the deal. She alone with you and the child. If she refuses, battle her for custody. You should also ensure to record your phone and in-person conversations. They will be very useful when the case gets to court.

1 Like

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Sammy101111(m): 5:06pm On Jul 05, 2023

Dey play the girl no love you na waything her mama tell her na him she they do they will use you and feed them self if you go broke or loose it is not there consign
How can you Marry her and 4 of her family member will move in with a newly couple that does not make sense bro you will later hit the street if you do that
No allow them use your head p

1 Like

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by adebayo987: 5:11pm On Jul 05, 2023

shineeye1:
Nobody said don't help them, if he can. You too can seek for their address here and go offer your help, which will be applauded. We only said don't MARRY such an obstinate, entitled feminist

Can you mind your business?

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by randymirrors(f): 5:14pm On Jul 05, 2023*

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.
Please help

I hope you get to read my opinion on this matter. I'm a woman and can tell you for free that only a wicked woman will give you such a condition to marry her.

It's unfortunate that she and her siblings lost their parents but does it mean that responsibility should be on you? Did she decide to get pregnant in order to hook you with the responsibility of her siblings and herself?

A woman giving you a financial condition before she can marry you will drain you financially once she's married to you. She'll keep coming up with more conditions that may end up stifling you.

She's a very selfish woman. You don't want to be with someone who only cares about herself, that's toxic.

You've given her a good offer by telling her two of her siblings can live with you. Just leave her, she's still in her yanga stage and will regret her stubbornness in future.

You can still give your daughter a good life by giving her a significant part of yours.

See money is important in marriage don't let love blind your eyes. I don't see how you would bear the responsibility of 6 people without hindering your growth.

If your woman truly cares about the wellbeing of her child as she's pretending to be, she'll accept your offer, engage in a good business that will fetch her income so that she can use that money to fend for her siblings.

Note: your woman is taking advantage of the fact that you care for her, that's why she's giving you these unreasonable conditions. Had it been na man wey no send am give her belle, would she still be saying all these yada yada?

Again, doesn't she have relatives? Why is she forcing her siblings on you?

Avoid anyone with entitlement mentality even if the person is your closest friend cos the end is never good. Nothing you do will ever satisfy them, they'll keep complaining and asking for more. This is the greatest advice I can give to you.

4 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Originalsly: 5:25pm On Jul 05, 2023

Red flag waving in your face ... the writing is on the wall. Bro ... if she is not yet married and ~~disrespecting~~ disregarding you like this ... what on earth do you think will happen if you marry her? If you can't manage her now ... why would you think you can manage her and her ~~cult~~ siblings? My advice to you is .... do a DNA test to be sure the baby is yours.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by thesmallgod(m): 5:28pm On Jul 05, 2023

How old are these sisters?
Are they working or still schooling?

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Buffalo2(m): 5:29pm On Jul 05, 2023*

This is a serious battle; I mean allowing your in-laws staying with you at this early stage of your marriage, They will sound harmless at the beginning but as time goes on, they become monsters. Remember you are the only one not related to them by blood so they can show you shege along the line.

I fought same battle to the end I mean till my MIL passed on. I stood my ground till the end and heaven did not fall.

Summary: maintain your ground.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Exceed15: 5:29pm On Jul 05, 2023

In this era of high cost of living.. bro don't die young o. Be Wise

1 Like

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Exceed15: 5:32pm On Jul 05, 2023

Nazgul:
I'm going to be very honest with you. That girl is a very self centered person. She doesn't love you, she just trying to use you to give her siblings a better life.

For you to even suggest that 2 of her siblings can stay with you after marrying her and she rejected and insisted that it must be 4 should tell you the kind of person she is. She's even ok that you guys can go your separate ways if you're not ready to accommodate 4 of her siblings. Did you bother to ask her if she's ready to cater for the additional 2 she's advocating for? Is she expecting you to feed people you didn't plan for?

My brother, if you marry that girl, you'll suffer. She won't respect you, she would fight you constantly, she won't shift grounds to do anything for you, whatever decision that must stand in that marriage must come from her. Yours wouldn't even be considered. And worse of all, she and her siblings would abandon you after milking you dry.

My advice, let her be, you're not making any mistake, you're avoiding one. Catering for a wife, a daughter and 4 additional people in this era isn't funny. And if she isn't doing any reasonable job to back you up, believe me, you'll die before your time.

Gbam!

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by ChiefOkporghe: 5:34pm On Jul 05, 2023

franchasofficia:
The number one reason poor or struggling guys in Nigeria remain poor or become poorer is because they marry anyhow, mostly out of pity and emotion claiming its love.

When making critical life decisions like marriage, you must take pity out of it.

Royal families that have all the wealth to carry any amount of load will never allow their Prince or sons to marry into poor family or ordinary family, but poor guys born into poor families will cheerfully go and marry poorer girls born into poorer family and hoping on luck to shine on them to survive the tsunami they started in the name of love. This is why we have too many poor families and hundreds of millions of poor Nigerians today.

As a struggling young man, when you want to marry, marry a help mate, marry a lady doing something that will support you financially. Marriage decisions are not made based on big breast, big buttocks and hot pussy alone, you must consider the financial future and implications. Marry a help mate not a baggage because both of you will end up crashing. At the end, both of you end up not helping the other's situation but rather complicated it. That is why in Igbo dialect, there is an adage that says: "onye akwo n'azu anaghi akwo onye ozo", meaning someone that is being backed cannot back another person or someone that is being carried cannot carry another person. Don't try to save a poor girl out of pity through marriage when you as a guy is still looking for who to help you or how to come out of your own financial and life mess. Always use your wisdom in this life if not, you will end up at the bottom of the ladder of life struggling to survive.

You guys will see mature ladies that are gainfully employed, that will support you in marriage and you will abandon them in the name of she is an evening newspaper and you go and marry small girls that have no financial or career or skill bearing and tomorrow when things become difficult for you guys, you now carry the wahala to Church to disturb God that gave you wisdom and common sense to use to maneuver through life.

Go and read the book of Proverbs on how Bible described a wife, that should give most of you an idea of the kind of ladies to marry.

And to every single lady reading this, try and equip yourself for marriage, get a skill learn a trade, take away pride and learn something and also get a small job and save. Prepare for marriage, don't wait until you marry a rich guy, rich guys are scarce now and the competition to get them is very high. Prepare your mind to support any man you would be getting married to.

To all men reading, help your daughters, sisters, nieces and cousins to have something doing in preparation for marriage. Don't let your single female wards to be empty without any skill or career or something to go into marriage please

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by OvertheTop(m): 5:38pm On Jul 05, 2023

Davidave:
Na responsibility go kill you. RIP in advance

THIS IS THE BITTER TRUTH!!

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by successcard: 5:42pm On Jul 05, 2023

I'd advice you don't allow her to bring in 4 relatives. If you succumb to this demand, you'll always be at her mercy—begging!

Her family will rule over you. They'd feel entitled.

If she's serious about marrying you, she'll do everything possible to be with you, alone!

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

1 Like

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Jagabanofafrica: 5:42pm On Jul 05, 2023

franchasofficia:
The number one reason poor or struggling guys in Nigeria remain poor or become poorer is because they marry anyhow, mostly out of pity and emotion claiming its love.

When making critical life decisions like marriage, you must take pity out of it.

Royal families that have all the wealth to carry any amount of load will never allow their Prince or sons to marry into poor family or ordinary family, but poor guys born into poor families will cheerfully go and marry poorer girls born into poorer family and hoping on luck to shine on them to survive the tsunami they started in the name of love. This is why we have too many poor families and hundreds of millions of poor Nigerians today.

wao, this is intelligent and wise advice, God will increase ur knowledge and wisdom

As a struggling young man, when you want to marry, marry a help mate, marry a lady doing something that will support you financially. Marriage decisions are not made based on big breast, big buttocks and hot pussy alone, you must consider the financial future and implications. Marry a help mate not a baggage because both of you will end up crashing. At the end, both of you end up not helping the other's situation but rather complicated it. That is why in Igbo dialect, there is an adage that says: "onye akwo n'azu anaghi akwo onye ozo", meaning someone that is being backed cannot back another person or someone that is being carried cannot carry another person. Don't try to save a poor girl out of pity through marriage when you as a guy is still looking for who to help you or how to come out of your own financial and life mess. Always use your wisdom in this life if not, you will end up at the bottom of the ladder of life struggling to survive.

You guys will see mature ladies that are gainfully employed, that will support you in marriage and you will abandon them in the name of she is an evening newspaper and you go and marry small girls that have no financial or career or skill bearing and tomorrow when things become difficult for you guys, you now carry the wahala to Church to disturb God that gave you wisdom and common sense to use to maneuver through life.

Go and read the book of Proverbs on how Bible described a wife, that should give most of you an idea of the kind of ladies to marry.

And to every single lady reading this, try and equip yourself for marriage, get a skill learn a trade, take away pride and learn something and also get a small job and save. Prepare for marriage, don't wait until you marry a rich guy, rich guys are scarce now and the competition to get them is very high. Prepare your mind to support any man you would be getting married to.

To all men reading, help your daughters, sisters, nieces and cousins to have something doing in preparation for marriage. Don't let your single female wards to be empty without any skill or career or something to go into marriage please

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by OvertheTop(m): 5:42pm On Jul 05, 2023

Kooldon:
I know a nice guy in my area that relocated to village because of this same thing.

He has 2 kids with the wife.

The wife had a boy from her previous relationship.

The wife's two sisters also joined them in a small single room apartment.
He discussed with the wife severally. She didnt accept and she is has no job

He has been sleeping in his shop for more than 2 years without touching the wife.

All of them were feeding from his pocket.

No Savings.
He couldnt pay the shop rent. He recloted to the village and the wife refused paying him a visit til date.

You stil have the final say

This is the REality that will Set in.

You will have Money, But you won't be Able to Care for your own self
You will be Paying Bills like Mad....
while you will look haggard.

think of another Solution Not to Inherit all these liabilities

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Sixfeetbelle: 5:47pm On Jul 05, 2023

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Can you rent an apartment for the siblings? Like in the same big landlord compound, you rent one for the siblings and one for you and your girl. That way, she's close to her siblings and you and her can have your own privacy.

Please, don't take my advice if your financial capacity no near am.

Sorry, dear.

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by CaptMarvel(m): 5:52pm On Jul 05, 2023

Marry one and get 4 free lolz 😄

Carrying extra responsibilities is not much my thing, I can manage one or two but four, that's lots mehn.
Well God is your strength.

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by randymirrors(f): 5:54pm On Jul 05, 2023

Offpointng:
Do you know the most annoying thing, I don't want to know how Angelic the girl might look or seem, she'll never agree to it if the siblings were to be from the Husband's side

But I doff my hat to any guy dating a girl with so many siblings sha. If your siblings pass 2 and ur family ain't rich enough, I ain't doing no Poverty Alleviating Relationship. I'm not marrying

It depends on the kind of family your woman has.

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Jamodeen95(m): 5:55pm On Jul 05, 2023

Pls don't succumb to her self-centred decision, but if you are financially buoyant you can get a separate place for them even if it is low-class

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by IamMobisola(f): 5:58pm On Jul 05, 2023

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Before you both started dating, were her siblings living under the bridge? Why would she try to blackmail you that way? That’s evil.
How about you tell her you have close cousins who will also be moving in with you guys when you get married and see her reaction. I still don’t understand why married people bring in siblings to live with them like they never had a roof over their head before then.

Don’t even try to fall for that blackmail of bringing her sisters in with you because you will regret it.

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Johnsown1(m): 5:58pm On Jul 05, 2023

If you have the resources set up business or a means of a lively hood for the 4 sisters and get a house for them to stay. Because you might not enjoy staying together in same roof with five sisters.

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by randymirrors(f): 6:00pm On Jul 05, 2023

4ward4:
Little wonder the Rich have nothing to do with the Poor, not even when it comes to marriage.

I came to this realization when I became financially independent and capable. It will start in the form of loans which will never be paid back because, after all, you're earning more than they are earning.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by 4ward4: 6:07pm On Jul 05, 2023

Ashawoman82:
bro, 10k is too small for a a man and his pregnant wife o... As a single guy I spend 12k per week, based on 2 square meal time table... Bro, seriously the op is a confirm mumu, if he's struggling and continue this way, he will die poor...

lol, chief you are over spending. if everything is at home already, the 10k is just for Stew & Soup making . definitely not for major buying.

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by seunfly: 6:15pm On Jul 05, 2023

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Check ur capacity b4 rescuing a drawing man otherwise u will be drawn as well and die together.
Listen man it is not worth it, u will ruine ur life with debt and u may never recover for ever.

1 Like

Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by OnlineArchitect: 6:17pm On Jul 05, 2023

KingExalted:
Allowing the sisters to live with you is not the issue. But giving it as a condition for the marriage. That's my problem. For your wife to insist that her sisters must be in your house means she has more problems than what you think. Please, check your compatibility with her before you move on.

My brother i took my time to read comments from the very first page to this current page and nobody made mentioned of what you just pointed out? This is the exact response i was expecting, i mean how can the woman insist that the siblings stays with them and went as far as threatening that there will be no marriage if that doesn't happen.. It's her attitude for me and seriously i think men are becoming weaker by the day...quite sad

1 Like 1 Share

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