₦airaland Forum

mysticwarrior:
■ Isn't it the duty of parents to ensure that their underage child don't start having sex?

I keep using the word guardian for good reason here to describe parents because I don't believe a parent is meant to be an all-seeing hawk.

guard·i·an
noun: guardian; plural noun: guardians
▢ a defender, protector, or keeper.
▢ a person who looks after and is legally responsible for someone who is unable to manage their own affairs, especially an incompetent or disabled person or a child whose parents have died.

Kids are bound to make mistakes but it is the parent's job to monitor, educate and ensure the kids are equipped with all wisdom and intelligence necessary to minimize the impact of such mistakes. A parent's job is to act as a guardian rather than a prison warden.

mysticwarrior:
■ There was no where I used the word "close supervision" to mean prisoner in my writeup, it's either you are misrepresenting my writeup or it's just an assumption cooked up in your imagination. Parents who do not take keen observation of their children would never know when that child start going astray untill it's probably to late.
■ So in your own opinion parents who supervise their children are subjecting to be prisoners, why the parents who don't apply these measures are not fit to for parenting right?

1. You used the term "close supervision" in your previous comment suggesting that parents are to go beyond what is ordinarily required. And I chose to remind again that a parent is a guardian and not a hawk.

2. See #1 above.

Kobojunkie:
I keep using the word guardian for good reason here to describe parents because I don't believe a parent is meant to be an all-seeing hawk.
Kids are bound to make mistakes but it is the parent's job to monitor, educate and ensure the kids are equipped with all wisdom and intelligence necessary to minimize the impact of such mistakes. A parent's job is to act as a guardian rather than a prison warden.

If a parents applies the bolded and the child still goes astray does that mean the parents are not fit for parenting?

mysticwarrior:
■ If a parents applies the bolded and the child still goes astray does that mean the parents are not fit for parenting?

Of course not! A parent is a guardian after all, and not a god.

Kobojunkie:
1. You used the term "close supervision" in your previous comment suggesting that parents are to go beyond what is ordinarily required. And I chose to remind again that a parent is a guardian and not a hawk.

2. See #1 above.

Kobo please don't disappoint yourself here you can do better than this, close supervision is the act of watching a person or activity and making certain that everything is done correctly, do I have to define it for you to have a better understanding?

mysticwarrior:
Kobo please don't disappoint yourself here you can do better than this, close supervision is the act of watching a person or activity and making certain that everything is done correctly, do I have to define it for you to have a better understanding?

And I said that rather than what you define as "close supervision", a parent is instead to sit as a guardian. What part of that do you not see? A parent is not a god or a jailor but a guardian... Parents have no way of making certain everything is done correctly since they aren't gods.

No

questioner:
My mum has people staying with her - my niece, an extended family member and a close family friend and her daughter.
We are okay with it cos it ensures she always has company and reduces the need to always travel to check on her.


Recently the monthly subscription I do on the router at home, which usually has carry over data by the time it expires, now lasts about a week before they start calling me to renew
Everybody in the house denied being the cause of the data drain.


Last week, I came to spend some days at my mum's and first thing I did was to install a network tracker to monitor.
Long story short, I discovered the excessive consumption was from my niece but that's not the major issue.
She was visiting porn sites which was draining data but that's still not the major prob.
My problem was the frequency and how long she spent on porn daily.


The day I came, after she retreated to her room, the porn streaming started and didn't stop until the family member sharing a room with her came back at night.
The next morning once the other lady left for work, she continued with the porn until it was time to leve for her lessons.
Once she came back in the afternoon, she did some chores, ate, sat around the sitting room for a while and went inside
and boom the porn resumed until the other girl came around hours later. This was practically the routine for the 4 days I stayed there.


The day I was to leave I told my mum that I observed the drain came from my niece and blocked her from the router.
She called my niece and questioned her but she denied knowing anything about it, I spared her blushes by saying sometimes apps have background processes that consume data without the owner knowing.


Ever since, I have been wondering if I handled the situation properly.
I didn't confront her about it cos I was concerned about the embarrassment she will feel for a male family to find out about her secret.
She might even assume I have told my mum or my elder bro (her dad), which might weigh her down emotionally.


Also, I am concerned if this is a sign of promiscuity, she will be 17 next month And aside the fact that she's quite tall, she might as well pass for a 14 year old. She's barely endowed for her age- bottomline, not the kind of girl, you will associate with waywardness.

My question is
1. Would it have been better if I had confronted her
2. Is this a possible sign of promiscuity ? - if so, I will suggest mum sends her back to her Dad cos I am not sure at her advanced age
she should be dealing with issues like this, to avoid stories that touch later on

Talk to her about it, pornography addiction is not easily stopped it becomes one. It's better she's embarrassed now than continue with it.

Plus the risk of sex addiction is there too, she become a loose cannon. It’s important to reign her in now.

Let her be abeg. No good ppl to fvck with outside now.

1Sharon:
I think it was an invasion of privacy to view people's browsing history.

will you keep shut

the Bible said.. let your words be seasoned with grace and your corrections be done in love"... don't listen to those demons in page 1 telling you to leave her alone... correct her in love

Kobojunkie:
And I said that rather than what you define as "close supervision", a parent is instead to sit as a guardian. What part of that do you not see? [b]A parent is not a god [/b]or a jailor but a guardian... Parents have no way of making certain everything is done correctly since they aren't gods.

And what does a god has to do with parenting exactly? Oh Kobo you don dey take style dey carry the matter enter religion.

Samantha124:
Leave her alone, she's just a curious teenager... I was once like her during that age...

Dancing Atilogun....

Curiosity kills the cat.

Wawelexy:
Allow your poor niece breef.... If you stop her from watching it, then she will get in the real act... Nothing can make her stop it now, if you block her from the router, she would purchase data with her money, if you expose her and start monitoring her, she will wait till midnight when everyone is asleep, or better still go into the bathroom to do her thing...

Since you have blocked her from the router, don't kill her self esteem by letting her know you are aware of her secret, allow her use her data, Xvideo and XNXX will reset her brain when she keeps using her food/transport money for subscription every two days.. when the time comes, she will forget about it...

One thing I discovered about porn addiction is joblessness, boredom and being alone, once you get yourself busy, it stops or drastically reduces.

90% of people viewing this thread have once been addicted, or still addicted to porn. Infact this thread will trigger some people to watch it tonight .. like the false prophet use to say; This I have seen

People sabi give rubbish advice here.
Majority of Nigerians brains are suspect.
My friend she is a kid and in a loving way approach her. Assure her you won’t discuss the issue with anybody and tell her the huge disadvantage of pornography.
One disadvantage is that it gives an unrealistic picture of sex, then the young person that have built an idea on pornography wouldn’t know how really to handle relationship. Another thing is that she may compare her body with that of the pornstars and feel she is inadequate. She may also want to try out many outrageous sexual fallacy and end up injuring herself or feeling inadequate if she can’t perform them.
Pornography too is addictive like drugs. The fact you got away from it doesn’t mean others too will. For example, I did drugs while growing and it wasn’t hard for me to stop the vice. But then you know it’s not that way for many others.
Since she is close to you and she is a minor, do something to help her

1Sharon:
I think it was an invasion of privacy to view people's browsing history.

See your teeth like invasion of privacy.

questioner:
If it is a guy, I wouldn't bother much cos I know too well that lots of young boys go thru this phase but even though I know it exists but this is the first time I am seeing a girl in this situation - if it portends the beginning of trouble, I will just advice that she should be returned to stay with her dad

You did well by blocking her, but you could have quietly talk to her on the dangers of watching porn.

mysticwarrior:
And what does a god has to do with parenting exactly? Oh Kobo you don dey take style dey carry the matter enter religion.

Clearly, only a god could do what you describe there where kids are concerned.

mysticwarrior:
Kobo please don't disappoint yourself here you can do better than this, close supervision is the act of watching a person or activity and making certain that everything is done correctly, do I have to define it for you to have a better understanding?

.

Samantha124:
No, I was never addicted... With me it was more of a curiosity rather than an addiction.

I only visited those sites for about two or three months and it wasn't an everyday thing, but there were some days whereby I'd binge watch them... Once I was satisfied with what I saw, I stopped and I haven't been to any of those sites till today.

I too was around 17 years old when the whole thing happened.

you south african babes like dick normally

Samantha124:
I was just a curious teenager and once I was satisfied with what I saw in those sites, I completely stopped checking them.

I was just going through a phase and it soon passed... A lot of teenagers at that age are curious about sex and it's a normal thing.

So the op should just let his niece satisfy her curiosity and the whole will soon pass.

I can't remember the sections I used to visit because it's been a while.

2 in 1 section

Pootle:
i hate this generation, back in the days of old such an act is treacherous and should be dealt with before it degenerate to pregnancy or other bad stuff, but people are out there saying leave her alone. that why we keep breeding oloshos everywhere

note she fit don dey upload her nude and earning some change o

You're right. That's why it's practically impossible to find a 15 year old virgin these days. Oloshos everywhere. An average 17 year old Nigerian girl has had countless of body counts.

questioner:
If it is a guy, I wouldn't bother much cos I know too well that lots of young boys go thru this phase but even though I know it exists but this is the first time I am seeing a girl in this situation - if it portends the beginning of trouble, I will just advice that she should be returned to stay with her dad

Dude, girls go through this stage too. In fact theirs are worst!

The girl must have been longing for Dick to penetrate into her. That's if she hasn't even started chopping dicks. There's nothing U can do about it.

questioner:
My mum has people staying with her - my niece, an extended family member and a close family friend and her daughter.
We are okay with it cos it ensures she always has company and reduces the need to always travel to check on her.


Recently the monthly subscription I do on the router at home, which usually has carry over data by the time it expires, now lasts about a week before they start calling me to renew
Everybody in the house denied being the cause of the data drain.


Last week, I came to spend some days at my mum's and first thing I did was to install a network tracker to monitor.
Long story short, I discovered the excessive consumption was from my niece but that's not the major issue.
She was visiting porn sites which was draining data but that's still not the major prob.
My problem was the frequency and how long she spent on porn daily.


The day I came, after she retreated to her room, the porn streaming started and didn't stop until the family member sharing a room with her came back at night.
The next morning once the other lady left for work, she continued with the porn until it was time to leve for her lessons.
Once she came back in the afternoon, she did some chores, ate, sat around the sitting room for a while and went inside
and boom the porn resumed until the other girl came around hours later. This was practically the routine for the 4 days I stayed there.


The day I was to leave I told my mum that I observed the drain came from my niece and blocked her from the router.
She called my niece and questioned her but she denied knowing anything about it, I spared her blushes by saying sometimes apps have background processes that consume data without the owner knowing.


Ever since, I have been wondering if I handled the situation properly.
I didn't confront her about it cos I was concerned about the embarrassment she will feel for a male family to find out about her secret.
She might even assume I have told my mum or my elder bro (her dad), which might weigh her down emotionally.


Also, I am concerned if this is a sign of promiscuity, she will be 17 next month And aside the fact that she's quite tall, she might as well pass for a 14 year old. She's barely endowed for her age- bottomline, not the kind of girl, you will associate with waywardness.

My question is
1. Would it have been better if I had confronted her
2. Is this a possible sign of promiscuity ? - if so, I will suggest mum sends her back to her Dad cos I am not sure at her advanced age
she should be dealing with issues like this, to avoid stories that touch later on

Your niece na future Mia Khalifa ooo.

Jokes apart, you handled it well. Open correction on teens makes them have low self esteem on the long run. Look at the child his parents calls to sit on a sofa to talk calmly and then look at the child the parents abuse in front of neighbors…. With time it affects.


You did well. She is just a teen whose ovaries are on fire. She might be sexually active but it shouldn’t be your business because she deserves privacy. The society judges a lot.

When next you go… tell your Mom to talk to her about sex education or you get a mature minded lady in your family to talk. Please do not talk about her watching porn just to educate her all about sex. Most African parents do not even call the genitals there names talked of to discuss about sex with the kids… after your mom must have talked to her, then you can visit again and inform them you installed a tracker on the router…..


Porn is for 18 and above. Which leaves me with the question, is porn watching wrong? How much porn is too much?

You should have talked o her privately to caution her. Tel her it is not a good for her age

1Sharon:
He wasn't scrutinising the browsing history because he's a guardian. He did it because he wanted to know why his data kept running out.
He happened to find out it was the 17 year old that was watching porn. If it was the adult, what would he have done then?

The girl is curious and may be going through a phase. Most men have been watching porn at a way younger age.

Your line of defense for the 17 year old girl implies you shouldn't be allowed to bring up a female child. So this is how you will be encouraging your female children to be watching porn in order to satisfy their curiosity?

Just talk her, it could mean alot to her.

Have u cautioned her before?i tot u said Ur neice hw will u be reporting her to Ur mum or the dad?when u can scold her nd more over y are u after her emotions how she feels if u confront her.oga scold her nd talk senses into her

I don't think it was properly handled.
You could have called her aside and admonished her.
Being addicted to porn at that age is not a good sign

questioner:
My mum has people staying with her - my niece, an extended family member and a close family friend and her daughter.
We are okay with it cos it ensures she always has company and reduces the need to always travel to check on her.


Recently the monthly subscription I do on the router at home, which usually has carry over data by the time it expires, now lasts about a week before they start calling me to renew
Everybody in the house denied being the cause of the data drain.


Last week, I came to spend some days at my mum's and first thing I did was to install a network tracker to monitor.
Long story short, I discovered the excessive consumption was from my niece but that's not the major issue.
She was visiting porn sites which was draining data but that's still not the major prob.
My problem was the frequency and how long she spent on porn daily.


The day I came, after she retreated to her room, the porn streaming started and didn't stop until the family member sharing a room with her came back at night.
The next morning once the other lady left for work, she continued with the porn until it was time to leve for her lessons.
Once she came back in the afternoon, she did some chores, ate, sat around the sitting room for a while and went inside
and boom the porn resumed until the other girl came around hours later. This was practically the routine for the 4 days I stayed there.


The day I was to leave I told my mum that I observed the drain came from my niece and blocked her from the router.
She called my niece and questioned her but she denied knowing anything about it, I spared her blushes by saying sometimes apps have background processes that consume data without the owner knowing.


Ever since, I have been wondering if I handled the situation properly.
I didn't confront her about it cos I was concerned about the embarrassment she will feel for a male family to find out about her secret.
She might even assume I have told my mum or my elder bro (her dad), which might weigh her down emotionally.


Also, I am concerned if this is a sign of promiscuity, she will be 17 next month And aside the fact that she's quite tall, she might as well pass for a 14 year old. She's barely endowed for her age- bottomline, not the kind of girl, you will associate with waywardness.

My question is
1. Would it have been better if I had confronted her
2. Is this a possible sign of promiscuity ? - if so, I will suggest mum sends her back to her Dad cos I am not sure at her advanced age
she should be dealing with issues like this, to avoid stories that touch later on

Person cannot satisfy her pusssssssy in peace again? Enemy of progress everywhere

BadMaster:
Your line of defense for the 17 year old girl implies you shouldn't be allowed to bring up a female child. So this is how you will be encouraging your female children to be watching porn in order to satisfy their curiosity?

No matter what you do or say. They'll want to satisfy their curiosity. You men have been watching porn at a much younger age.

Before there was the Internet, there was blue films.