Years ago, I was watching Asa being interviewed on a show where she was a guest. They asked what are the top qualities she love in a man. Among other qualities, she said she loves a man who is CONFIDENT.

Well....

This is a cliche`. In hundreds of sources, they describe "confidence" has the most attractive trait a woman love in men.

I got curious...

So in particular a private group online, I put out the question, "What does it mean for a man to be confident with women"

In no time, answers flood in.

I got answers like:

"A confident man always go for what he wants..."

"A confident man always says exactly what on his mind and he isn't scared of expressing how he feels"

"A confident man always take action and has the firm believe that he will get what he looks out for."

"A confident man always bla bla bla....."

They are all correct, but I think they miss the point of what true confidence is.

Here's is what makes you confident:

A truly confident man is a man who is "comfortable" with rejection.

Nothing more, nothing less.

He's comfortable with rejection because he's comfortable with people not liking him.

The average man isn't comfortable with rejection, so when he get rejected, he verbally attacks the woman.

A lady recently showed me her chat with a Man she rejected recently.

She: "Sorry .... I'm not interested."

Man: "mtcheew...what is this mumu feeling like self. With your flat ass....bitch."


Lolz

In some occasions, a lady might have some interest in you but will still reject you because rejecting you is a safer option for her at that moment. That's the reason why--- how you respond to a rejection matters more than the rejection itself. Responding in an upset manner like that will be a confirmation to her that you have low self-esteem. She will try her best to avoid you for fear of harassment or fear of being physically attacked.

Again,

When a woman outrightly reject you, do not attempt to try to change her mind.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly what most guys tries to do...

The average man isn't comfortable with rejection, so when he get rejected, he tries to convince her to change her mind.

For example:

She: "Sorry .... I'm not interested."

Man: "Why now? You know I truly care about you... Please accept me."

The more you try to change her mind, the more she’s going to disrespect you. When she perceive that you are not comfortable with getting rejected, she view that as weakness and even try to exploit you and toy with your emotions.

Ok enough talk....

We are just starting...

When you're comfortable with rejection, how do you respond

You say, "Sure, take care."

No comeback response. No argument. No debate. No trying to convince her to change her mind.

Just say, "Sure, take care." And then stop interacting with her immediately.

Remember, chances are that she’s might be expecting you to do one of these things:

- Verbally convincing her to change her mind

- Giving her cash gifts so she can change her mind

- Getting upset at her and calling her negative names.

Doing any of those things would boost her ego and make her feel she's on top of the world...

But when you respond with just, "Sure. Take care," And immediately end the conversation with her.....Her ego will drastically reduce.

She might be inspired to re-initiate a contact with you.

Some women have rejected me initially but later contacted me again because they were caught off guard by how "comfortable" I was towards the rejection.

Getting upset or trying to convince her never work; it only make your value go down in her eyes.

But being comfortable with it and saying “Sure, take care,” makes your value goes up.

Stay blessed.

Lovely.

True words.

When I was younger the mindset my bros taught me to approach women with,is the expectation that she would say either yes or no...she can't do more than that.

If she says yes. Honor her, set up next steps then leave.

If she says no, thank her for her patience in hearing you out and wish her best of luck , then leave.


Then in the era of no phones, we would assign a young boy to escort her home during the day to know where she lives...then we show up together when it's a little dark.

Non digital communication in dating was sweet and creative. Short notes sent by intermediaries, coded whistles, pre arranged spots and times, red herrings and going into the compound by the back door instead of the front where everyone is gathered in the evening.


Now all your have is dumb ugly girls dancing naked on social media with thirsty boys watching. They don't know how to "scope", "psyche" or "cajole" as we used to call it then.

100% correct.

Bahamas95:
100% correct.

VinnyBaba:


Kudos to you, OP.👍👍

Wish all Young Niggas in this Naija can see this.

Sooo, how come sales people end up talking people into buying something they initially said they'd absolutely not buy minutes before? They do their homework! They prepare their game well. The customer has no chance!

"Sure, take care" and that's the end of it? Na, not good.
Women that change their minds constantly and are not really sure what they want. A woman may say no to you this minute and regret it the next - and you already out of communication? Not good

Best thing anyway is, never approach girls for date directly. Otherwise you're already a loser. If you must, first build yourself up so much in her imagination and read her so well, she can't possibly say no!
But most people are lazy, no preparation at all, no imagination, just shot in the dark and hope for a miracle!

Kudos to you, OP.👍👍

Wish all Young Niggas in this Naija can see this.

PoliteActivist:


Sooo, how come sales people end up talking people into buying something they initially said they'd absolutely not buy minutes before? They do their homework!
Why not instead of "sure, take care", you say "I'll teach you how I make lots of easy money online" or "You'd be perfect for my new photo shoot" or "there's this job opening at our firm" or such!
"Sure, take care" and that's the end of it? Na, not good

"Dem nor dey carry cutlass go gun fight"

They ain't same scenario, I don't waste my time chasing a woman that rejected me. I will jejely leave her alone and knock on the next door instead of belittling myself to one bleeding gender.

Bahamas95:
"Dem nor dey carry cutlass go gun fight"

They ain't same scenario, I don't waste my time chasing a woman that rejected me. I will jejely leave her alone and knock on the next door instead of belittling myself to one bleeding gender.

Point is, you shouldn't be "chasing" a woman in the first place. Leave that to agberoes and construction workers. Have game. Do your homework. Find out what that woman or women in that area want. Have it or present you have it, and they'll be the ones chasing you! You'd have the experience of a woman/women codedly chasing YOU!

Pukkalolo:
Years ago, I was watching Asa being interviewed on a show where she was a guest. They asked what are the top qualities she love in a man. Among other qualities, she said she loves a man who is CONFIDENT.

Well....

This is a cliche`. In hundreds of sources, they describe "confidence" has the most attractive trait a woman love in men.

I got curious...

So in particular a private group online, I put out the question, "What does it mean for a man to be confident with women"

In no time, answers flood in.

I got answers like:

"A confident man always go for what he wants..."

"A confident man always says exactly what on his mind and he isn't scared of expressing how he feels"

"A confident man always take action and has the firm believe that he will get what he looks out for."

"A confident man always bla bla bla....."

They are all correct, but I think they miss the point of what true confidence is.

Here's is what makes you confident:

A truly confident man is a man who is "comfortable" with rejection.

Nothing more, nothing less.

He's comfortable with rejection because he's comfortable with people not liking him.

The average man isn't comfortable with rejection, so when he get rejected, he verbally attacks the woman.

A lady recently showed me her chat with a Man she rejected recently.

She: "Sorry .... I'm not interested."

Man: "mtcheew...what is this mumu feeling like self. With your flat ass....bitch."


Lolz

In some occasions, a lady might have some interest in you but will still reject you because rejecting you is a safer option for her at that moment. That's the reason why--- how you respond to a rejection matters more than the rejection itself. Responding in an upset manner like that will be a confirmation to her that you have low self-esteem. She will try her best to avoid you for fear of harassment or fear of being physically attacked.

Again,

When a woman outrightly reject you, do not attempt to try to change her mind.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly what most guys tries to do...

The average man isn't comfortable with rejection, so when he get rejected, he tries to convince her to change her mind.

For example:

She: "Sorry .... I'm not interested."

Man: "Why now? You know I truly care about you... Please accept me."

The more you try to change her mind, the more she’s going to disrespect you. When she perceive that you are not comfortable with getting rejected, she view that as weakness and even try to exploit you and toy with your emotions.

Ok enough talk....

We are just starting...

When you're comfortable with rejection, how do you respond

You say, "Sure, take care."

No comeback response. No argument. No debate. No trying to convince her to change her mind.

Just say, "Sure, take care." And then stop interacting with her immediately.

Remember, chances are that she’s might be expecting you to do one of these things:

- Verbally convincing her to change her mind

- Giving her cash gifts so she can change her mind

- Getting upset at her and calling her negative names.

Doing any of those things would boost her ego and make her feel she's on top of the world...

But when you respond with just, "Sure. Take care," And immediately end the conversation with her.....Her ego will drastically reduce.

She might be inspired to re-initiate a contact with you.

Some women have rejected me initially but later contacted me again because they were caught off guard by how "comfortable" I was towards the rejection.

Getting upset or trying to convince her never work; it only make your value go down in her eyes.

But being comfortable with it and saying “Sure, take care,” makes your value goes up.

Stay blessed.

You be correct guy.

One bottle for you.

Better

Give a monkey a suitcase with a million dollars, or a bag of bananas, and it will take the bag of bananas instead. The monkey rejected the money because of its own ignorance and has nothing to do with the value of the money.

Rejection doesn't necessarily mean there is something wrong with you. You can be the right package but delivered to the wrong address, or the sweetest fruit but I personally don't like apples.

People can only reject you based on three reasons. The first one is a valid flaw that you may have (eg you are a stammerer), the second one is an invalid flaw based on their prejudice (eg he has a tattoo so therefore, he is a forkboy), the last one will be their preferences (e.g., I prefer Yoruba guys to Hausa guys).

There is nothing you can do if someone rejects you for the above reasons. If for example, you are comfortable with being a Hausa dude, love tattoos, and are a stammerer, then being rejected for these reasons won't worry you.

For example, I know myself better than anyone on the planet. I have accepted my flaws, e.g., I personally have a ¨resting-bitch-face, and those that don't know me may be scared to talk to me because my neutral facial expression is tough like a military man.

Rejecting me because you think I am wicked is your loss. You suffer based on your own prejudice and have alienated yourself from reaping the fruits of what our union could become.

Going about insulting her because she rejected you only exposes your insecurities, and even worse, you have outsourced the definition of who you are to her. “Know yourself” is the sump of all philosophical commandments.

When you know yourself, and more importantly, accept yourself, you are a very powerful person. No one can make you feel bad. Hence, no point insulting because of their rejection. The rejection is meaningless.

When you reach a place where you become indifferent to rejection and comfortable with being hated, then you have truly grown. If Jesus who lived a righteous life had enemies (King Herod) even before he was born, what more of an imperfect human like you?

If you only toast girls that like you nobody will reject you. In all of my relationships past and current, the women implied they wanted a relationship before I verbally asked for it. In some situations, we just found ourselves in the relationship.

Even when I meet a girl online, I don’t ask to meet in person until the flirting gets so heavy we are assured of something happening on the first meet. No chasing, no stress.

Women don't reject men that have money.
Ask Davido or Dangote.
Even married women will be happy to date Davido or Dangote.

Just as you as a guy don't like every bitch you see,so also bitches don't like every nigga they meet too.. Who dey into you no go stress you,when you start chyke her.. And if any bitch says no to you asking her out,jejely move to the next bitch.. So many fishes in the river mehn.. Stop tripping niggas,stop begging bitches to date you.

DaddyFreeze2020:
Women don't reject men that have money.
Ask Davido or Dangote.
Even married women will be happy to date Davido or Dangote.

Real game doesn't require money when chyking. Except na olosho you dey negotiate for.. Let the game roll,then money can take it to the next level.. Na only olosho them dey use money start toast..

With all due respect,


only jobless and poor men approaches women for relationships and sees as a must in their lives


know these and know peace


happy Sunday

Nice post!
Learnt alot from it.

YOU ARE A SIGMA BOSS...

YOU SAID IT ALL

2 gals rejected me sometime last year..

first declined my relationship proposal 3 times

2nd was playing around but never knew she's long gone..

it all dawned on them the moment a new gal showed up and we clicked even till today..

first got jealous and has that negative vibes anytime she's around with me,the 2nd is now a fan,the supporter.

but at the end of everything,we are all doing well with our lives but thanks to God that she didn't accept my request because with what i saw from that her character after some months was something else but all thanks to God everyone is okay...

Pukkalolo:
Years ago, I was watching Asa being interviewed on a show where she was a guest. They asked what are the top qualities she love in a man. Among other qualities, she said she loves a man who is CONFIDENT.

Well....

This is a cliche`. In hundreds of sources, they describe "confidence" has the most attractive trait a woman love in men.

I got curious...

So in particular a private group online, I put out the question, "What does it mean for a man to be confident with women"

In no time, answers flood in.

I got answers like:

"A confident man always go for what he wants..."

"A confident man always says exactly what on his mind and he isn't scared of expressing how he feels"

"A confident man always take action and has the firm believe that he will get what he looks out for."

"A confident man always bla bla bla....."

They are all correct, but I think they miss the point of what true confidence is.

Here's is what makes you confident:

A truly confident man is a man who is "comfortable" with rejection.

Nothing more, nothing less.

He's comfortable with rejection because he's comfortable with people not liking him.

The average man isn't comfortable with rejection, so when he get rejected, he verbally attacks the woman.

A lady recently showed me her chat with a Man she rejected recently.

She: "Sorry .... I'm not interested."

Man: "mtcheew...what is this mumu feeling like self. With your flat ass....bitch."


Lolz

In some occasions, a lady might have some interest in you but will still reject you because rejecting you is a safer option for her at that moment. That's the reason why--- how you respond to a rejection matters more than the rejection itself. Responding in an upset manner like that will be a confirmation to her that you have low self-esteem. She will try her best to avoid you for fear of harassment or fear of being physically attacked.

Again,

When a woman outrightly reject you, do not attempt to try to change her mind.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly what most guys tries to do...

The average man isn't comfortable with rejection, so when he get rejected, he tries to convince her to change her mind.

For example:

She: "Sorry .... I'm not interested."

Man: "Why now? You know I truly care about you... Please accept me."

The more you try to change her mind, the more she’s going to disrespect you. When she perceive that you are not comfortable with getting rejected, she view that as weakness and even try to exploit you and toy with your emotions.

Ok enough talk....

We are just starting...

When you're comfortable with rejection, how do you respond

You say, "Sure, take care."

No comeback response. No argument. No debate. No trying to convince her to change her mind.

Just say, "Sure, take care." And then stop interacting with her immediately.

Remember, chances are that she’s might be expecting you to do one of these things:

- Verbally convincing her to change her mind

- Giving her cash gifts so she can change her mind

- Getting upset at her and calling her negative names.

Doing any of those things would boost her ego and make her feel she's on top of the world...

But when you respond with just, "Sure. Take care," And immediately end the conversation with her.....Her ego will drastically reduce.

She might be inspired to re-initiate a contact with you.

Some women have rejected me initially but later contacted me again because they were caught off guard by how "comfortable" I was towards the rejection.

Getting upset or trying to convince her never work; it only make your value go down in her eyes.

But being comfortable with it and saying “Sure, take care,” makes your value goes up.

Stay blessed.

you nail it, kudos for the write up.

I appreciate you bringing this light to us.

However, you overlooked an important point,

Don't only have confidence when a woman rejects you.

Apply the same energy especially after a breakup.

After a breakup, most men start to think negatively of a girl.

They start stalking the girl, looking through her social media, etc.

When you break up with a woman, consider your loss and MOVE ON.

Move and block her on all social networks. Never go back.

Be a guy of confidence and "always keep your options open." Most of you feel very bad after I break up because your options were tiny.

Stop being a soy and a week man, respectively.

Have confidence in yourself, You are a king, a warrior, and you are the PRICE!

Whenever you give a relationship advice to men and majority of ladies say you are right, then know that you gave men the wrong advice

Experience is best teaching, but it's not easy as that to accept reject as that because of motion on that particular spot.

Talk to me directly op

On a serious note op is right, stop this convincing technique, women rarely falls for it unless u wants her to finish you off fanatically

Una no dey ever tire? Na frustration dey cause all this long epistle ontop woman matter, na wa.

[/color]I don't think so,love no be war[color=#770077]

franchasofficia:
Whenever you give a relationship advice to men and majority of ladies say you are right, then know that you gave men the wrong advice

JayDaily2:
I appreciate you bringing this light to us.

However, you overlooked an important point,

Don't only have confidence when a woman rejects you.

Apply the same energy especially after a breakup.

After a breakup, most men start to think negatively of a girl.

They start stalking the girl, looking through her social media, etc.

When you break up with a woman, consider your loss and MOVE ON.

Move and block her on all social networks. Never go back.

Be a guy of confidence and "always keep your options open." Most of you feel very bad after I break up because your options were tiny.

Stop being a soy and a week man, respectively.

Have confidence in yourself, You are a king, a warrior, and you are the PRICE!

Going to the extent of blocking communication with a woman that INITIALLY rejected a man's advances would be a mistake because that initial rejection may well be a test of a man's patience and perseverance. Blocking communication indicates that ANGER due to rejection is the man's reason for closing channels of communication. Conveying bitterness as one's response to an initial rejection is the WRONG move.

Certainly, rejection calls for a toning down of the initial romantic approach along with perhaps a temporary radio silence from the man, BUT there should be no blocking of the woman's usual channels to reach out LATER, since she may very well do so after seeing the man pass her "no desperation" and 'strong self-esteem" test. It is possible for a woman who rejected a man as a test, to be back engaging him in highly suggestive online flirtation within DAYS of that purported rejection.

Jakumo:


Going to the extent of blocking communication with a woman that INITIALLY rejected a man's advances would be a mistake because that initial rejection may well be a test of a man's patience and perseverance. Blocking communication indicates that ANGER due to rejection is the man's reason for closing channels of communication. Conveying bitterness as one's response to an initial rejection is the WRONG move.

Certainly, rejection calls for a toning down of the initial romantic approach along with perhaps a temporary radio silence from the man, BUT there should be no blocking of the woman's usual channels to reach out LATER, since she may very well do so after seeing the man pass her "no desperation" and 'strong self-esteem" test. It is possible for a woman who rejected a man as a test, to be back engaging him in highly suggestive online flirtation within DAYS of that purported rejection.

Don't get me wrong Jakumo, I use the word "blocking" in the basics of a break up, not due to a rejection.

Rejection should be part of a Man's life.

If you're not facing rejections as a man it means you are living in your own island and your options are "tiny". Explore Wisely.

Jovialjune1:
Una no dey ever tire? Na frustration dey cause all this long epistle ontop woman matter, na wa.

Go siddon. Pretenders. Women do it worse than men, except not on NL. Women that do nothing but gossip about men relationships all day long. At least men talk about a lot other things too!

eazzzy1:
If you only toast girls that like you nobody will reject you. In all of my relationships past and current, the women implied they wanted a relationship before I verbally asked for it. In some situations, we just found ourselves in the relationship.

Even when I meet a girl online, I don’t ask to meet in person until the flirting gets so heavy we are assured of something happening on the first meet. No chasing, no stress.

The bolded sentence above is a nugget of profound wisdom that I stumbled upon by accident. Every dating coach whose videos I watched online emphasized that a man's text writing to a new female acquaintance via Whatsapp or social media should be pared down to a bare and abbreviated minimum purely and exclusively for the purpose of setting up a date to meet with the woman for the first and subsequent dates.

My personal experience has been that skilled text writing can actually become a variation of early 4play that if properly phrased, can induce a strong motivation for sex in the mind of a woman even BEFORE the very first date, provided that the line between flirtation and sexual harassment is NEVER crossed with the words chosen by the man.

I have been shocked at the level of suggestive innuendo that can be tolerated by a woman and thereby used to seduce her and predispose her to early sex DESPITE there NEVER having been any prior sexual relations between her and the man contacting her. In short Youtube's dating coaches are dead WRONG about the use of text messages in the seduction of women for the first time.

Jakumo:


Going to the extent of blocking communication with a woman that INITIALLY rejected a man's advances would be a mistake because that initial rejection may well be a test of a man's patience and perseverance. Blocking communication indicates that ANGER due to rejection is the man's reason for closing channels of communication. Conveying bitterness as one's response to an initial rejection is the WRONG move.

Certainly, rejection calls for a toning down of the initial romantic approach along with perhaps a temporary radio silence from the man, BUT there should be no blocking of the woman's usual channels to reach out LATER, since she may very well do so after seeing the man pass her "no desperation" and 'strong self-esteem" test. It is possible for a woman who rejected a man as a test, to be back engaging him in highly suggestive online flirtation within DAYS of that purported rejection.

You nailed it.
Women that change their minds constantly and are not really sure what they want. A woman may say no to you this minute and regret it the next minute - and you already bocked all means of communication??

Read your books, graj n join Labour force.