Bluntguy:
I don't know if I am posting on the right segment, but let me tell my story.
Years ago my sister had a friend whose family had a very wicked German shepherd called Kingo. The dog was always chained in the daytime and unleashed only at night. My sister was always visiting her friend and I never knew she had become friends with Kingo..

One day we came back from school and my sister wanted to go see her friend. I was on my own jeje o. She said I should accompany her and I refused o but she insisted and said that Kingo was in chains. My people na so I take follow my sis go that house. The moment my sister entered that house and I followed, lo and behold I came face to face with Kingo and the idiot came right at me. I turned and ran 100 meters in four seconds. My sister and her friend were calling me not to run but whoosai.

My street was always a very busy street but I forgot and crossed the road without minding if cars were coming. As I was running, Kingo's tongue was touching my legs. After crossing the road I still cannot explain how I managed to jump the big gutter in front of my house without landing inside it. It was after I jumped the gutter that the dog turned from chasing me and returned to their house. I didn't come out of our house for the next few days and didn't even talk to my sister for another one week.

Do you need to be told that I never passed in front of my sister's friend's house until the day they packed out of our street after about a year. I thank God for saving my life that day.

Tell us your near death experience. Happy Sunday everyone!

MightySparrow:
The OP is a comedian.

blackgold2018:
This is no near death experience. If people tell you real near death experience, you will delete this post.

Something I’ll use a stick or stone as self defense. Even if it means killing the dog

Bluntguy:
I don't know if I am posting on the right segment, but let me tell my story.
Years ago my sister had a friend whose family had a very wicked German shepherd called Kingo. The dog was always chained in the daytime and unleashed only at night. My sister was always visiting her friend and I never knew she had become friends with Kingo..

One day we came back from school and my sister wanted to go see her friend. I was on my own jeje o. She said I should accompany her and I refused o but she insisted and said that Kingo was in chains. My people na so I take follow my sis go that house. The moment my sister entered that house and I followed, lo and behold I came face to face with Kingo and the idiot came right at me. I turned and ran 100 meters in four seconds. My sister and her friend were calling me not to run but whoosai.

My street was always a very busy street but I forgot and crossed the road without minding if cars were coming. As I was running, Kingo's tongue was touching my legs. After crossing the road I still cannot explain how I managed to jump the big gutter in front of my house without landing inside it. It was after I jumped the gutter that the dog turned from chasing me and returned to their house. I didn't come out of our house for the next few days and didn't even talk to my sister for another one week.

Do you need to be told that I never passed in front of my sister's friend's house until the day they packed out of our street after about a year. I thank God for saving my life that day.

Tell us your near death experience. Happy Sunday everyone!

Bluntguy:

Exodus wetin happen?

Bluntguy:
I don't know if I am posting on the right segment, but let me tell my story.
Years ago my sister had a friend whose family had a very wicked German shepherd called Kingo. The dog was always chained in the daytime and unleashed only at night. My sister was always visiting her friend and I never knew she had become friends with Kingo..

One day we came back from school and my sister wanted to go see her friend. I was on my own jeje o. She said I should accompany her and I refused o but she insisted and said that Kingo was in chains. My people na so I take follow my sis go that house. The moment my sister entered that house and I followed, lo and behold I came face to face with Kingo and the idiot came right at me. I turned and ran 100 meters in four seconds. My sister and her friend were calling me not to run but whoosai.

My street was always a very busy street but I forgot and crossed the road without minding if cars were coming. As I was running, Kingo's tongue was touching my legs. After crossing the road I still cannot explain how I managed to jump the big gutter in front of my house without landing inside it. It was after I jumped the gutter that the dog turned from chasing me and returned to their house. I didn't come out of our house for the next few days and didn't even talk to my sister for another one week.

Do you need to be told that I never passed in front of my sister's friend's house until the day they packed out of our street after about a year. I thank God for saving my life that day.

Tell us your near death experience. Happy Sunday everyone!

It was on my 19th birthday. I've already started making some cool cash online then. Decided to celebrate it with my roommates.

But, the devil that day decided to talk to my roommate to tell me about trans amusement park near UI in ibadan here. So, we wanted to call Uber, since na raining night and after three drivers failed to come pick us up, we decided to carry okada. Mehnnn

It started raining at the time of the day when we came out of the house. Well, we don plan am so no wam, we go brave the rain.

Na so we sight one aboki. Flagged him down. It was around 7pm in the night and we were three, so we all decided to hop on the same bike.

Mind you, I was already higher than Jehova, like Popcaan says. Was high on various grades of mariwawi. I was in a state of euphoria at the moment, coupled with the fact that, I'm celebrating my birthday for the first time.

Anyway, as we passed ojoo police station side, the road became free, we were virtually the only one on the road. So, the aboki decided to play rush hour with our lives. All I know was the bike was gaining speed. I was at the back, the breeze was coming fast onto my face. Was so fuvcking high, I was enjoying it.

All of a sudden, na so one coaster bus, stood at an intersection, wanting to move to the other side.

The bike man was also racing towards it, tried to hold the brake, the brake didn't work.

The road was slippery, the bike was just sliding at 60mph towards the stationary coaster bus. Na so my roommate wey dey front grabbed the okada steering from the bike man and was dragging the two brakes simultaneously.

Next thing I heard was gboaaah. We fell down and was sliding towards the busy intersection, there was like five cars there. Then we hit the coaster bus on the side, the bike man fainted, we all fell on the streets, my eye cleared straight!
I wanted to stand up, so that I don't get crushed by other cars, I couldn't, my legs weren't working. Abobi, I don dey panic. As I was dragging myself on the road to the curb, some passersby came to help us. Dragged me onto the curb. I wasn't even looking at my other roommates whether they've died or not. My concern was about my leg and why it's not working.

As I was recuperating and seeing that I didn't have any major bruises and my legs didn't break or anything, I told God that if I can walk again, I'll quit drinking and smoking.

My other roommates, came to meet me where I was. Apparently, they weren't hurt. The bike man has also been resuscitated.

Roommate now said, let's continue to the amusement park, I told him that I couldn't walk. He said it's a minor issue that since my legs aren't broken, that I should try and walk it off. I stood up with their help and decided to go home to nurse my wounds. The niggas just flagged a car down and told the driver to proceed to the amusement park. I wan cry.

Afterwards, when we got to the park, my legs was already gaining traction back, even though I was still hurting.

I still downed a bottle of lords gin and some Henny that night. Even topped it with amusement park kush. My hands were shaking as I was holding the cup and smoking.
Was shaking like an old man.

Then, Called one of our guys to come pick us up. Told him that I was involved in an accident that I couldn't walk.

When we entered his car, he said; na you bastards wey get accident dey reek of alcohol like this? I said; let's thank God for life bruh.

Could've landed in the hospital or worse that night.
Now, I have phobia of driving on express ways or sending someone on an errand and the person wants to use okada.
Credit: SportHD

youngsahito:
Very funny, I remembered a time in the university when we want to do mountainairing with man o war and the red cross. We all went together singling and jaming to rugged song. We got to the mountain side and people started climbing while some that couldn't climb followed another route.
I was forming rugged and a strong guy so I decided to join those climbing the mountain alas! I want just struck in the middle cos I couldn't climb further for the slippery mountain.
I was between the red sea and devil that day because we are above 200ft to the ground and I was thinking that mama and papa don't know that their child is in this kind of dilemma.
To cut the long story short so I guy saw how scared I was so he decided to help me up me that was always scared of height. I thank God and that guy for saving my life cos it won't be funny at all.