Cowbell521:
Are you playing? Wise Men prefer to focus on their children and leave you parasites alone

Just cos your father the wise one, left your mother and called her names, doesn't automatically apply to other mothers okay?

Know when to stop playing.

being:
Wrong question bound to cause more problems...

Problems for who?

Because wife too like to salaye

MySexyMoni:
He's going to take care of both the child and the mother, so he thinking much ln how to handle that. . basically his responsibilities have increased to the extreme and he dare not fail.

Na wao!!

Na do or die be this o

theInfinity:
Why actually are the reasons why men change towards their wives after having kids. Could it be that the unwritten contract between them and their wives has come to an end after she has put to birth or what exactly. At that moment, no more sweet name calling, no more petting. They now see their wives as rivals at home. What is the cause?

Most times , women undergo different changes in physique after birth and the man struggles to come to terms with the reality that once known attractive figure 8 has lost shape

Cowbell521:
Are you playing? Wise Men prefer to focus on their children and leave you parasites alone

After confirming that the children are actually his.

Nwodosis:
Wives love and care more for the kids as a result the men feel less loved resulting in attitudinal changes toward their wives!

Nope.....u are wrong

bonnyhope:


Na wao!!

Na do or die be this o

Haha..

Not really just a sit up word .

talented321:
The man didn't love her from the beginning. Just imagine calling a woman who is raising ur kids condemn property because of an over used kpekus..
Sometimes i just pity some women, insulting you wife in the public because of a mere puna..

You are just using this word ",love" up and down

Love fades with time

Nwodosis:
Wives love and care more for the kids as a result the men feel less loved resulting in attitudinal changes toward their wives!

You've said it all. The love and attention shift to the kids leaving the man stranded and all alone to himself.

talented321:
Though not all marriages..
Those doing so feel like they were scammed, marriage is more than what they thought earlier..

you've said it all

Omuuvwie:
It's see finish, no matter the bond between the two of you at one point or the other you get tired of her.

Truthfully men get easily bored that's why God allow us polygamy

Jewessgratitud3:
Everyone is just beating about the bush even though the reason is obvious.

Once a woman starts having kids, she loses her attractiveness as a result of all the body changes that come with child birth. This puts the man off or gradually makes him lose interest in her especially when he still sees young girls with perky breasts, plumper and firmer bodies out there. This is the whole truth.

A married man used to disturb me some time ago and I'll always shun him. One day he saw one small fine girl that came around and told me to him talk to the girl and I asked him what of your wife and he said " that one na condemn property now" .. chai!!! Laugh wan finish me that day. This is a man with 5 kids o.

100%

Fountainofyouth:



What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?

What stops men is time and household responsibility

Time: men mostly have to stay longer at work to provide for the family so when they return home they're usually tired and can't make time to bound with children as much as the mothers do

Household responsibility: there's two major angle to this
1. It's in the aspect of collecting foods and other benefits from parents. Children feel loved when someone gives them something especially food and other eatables. Mothers are the ones directly cooking and feeding the children so the children naturally grow more attached
2. There needs to be a iron hand in the house. Mothers are soft to their children hence father's are tasked to be rigid so the child does not become spoilt.
Mothers care, fathers correct and lead


The thing is fathers love their children just as much as mothers do but cannot show it because of the responsibility they have to carry, also fathers need to care for everyone equally else someone will feel left out. Mothers on the other hand mostly prioritize their children over their husband and care more about the children so the husband is left out and over time a gap is created

In the end, it's no one's fault but a balance needs to be made in parenting

theInfinity:
Why actually are the reasons why men change towards their wives after having kids. Could it be that the unwritten contract between them and their wives has come to an end after she has put to birth or what exactly. At that moment, no more sweet name calling, no more petting. They now see their wives as rivals at home. What is the cause?

Who sweet names and petting epp?
I have my children and make my own money.
Bliss

10thTenthMan:


Thank you. I really don’t know why they are beating about the bush. And being afraid to express what their MALE instincts transmits to them.

It is the same reason and female instincts that make many women go after 6 and 9 packs men after their husbands develop pot bellies at their 40s. Many of them,they are long for and get enticed by these same men with lies that they are going to the gym to keep fit.

While it isn’t encouraged to loose interest in your woman after she puts to bed, why beat about the bush on the matter. Why lie? What is the purpose of lying? And avoiding the real reasons? Worst case will be online insults which mean nothing. Absolutely no existential importance or value.

Men don’t fancy their wives after putting to bed because:

-Most women loose every form of physical attractiveness. In fact many of them become horrible looking, physically.

- Many add weight afterwards and become physically lazy. They aren’t able to tend the home.

- Many won’t even take proper care of themselves. Some won’t bathe till evening when the man comes from work. To them they have achieved the ultimate. “I don marry born na, Wetin remain again”? Mentality. They are just there like bread. Failing to dress up and impress the men. Tying wrapper from morning to night over their boobs.

- Many pay attention to the baby and ignore the man totally. This is not a bad thing. The child needs care. But men see it as neglect. Someone said the man should also love the child. Many men do. Loving a child doesn’t stop a man needing love from the woman.

- Many men are turned off by breastfeeding mothers. That whole thing where breast milk leaks from their boobs and they have to pad their boobs, many men hate. Some still bleed from their private parts weeks after birth and some months. Many men are turned off by this. In fact some men are turned off by pregnant women. Men don’t like and pay attention to what they aren’t attracted to.

In short many men see their wives as old and used. It doesn’t make it right. But that is how some men feel. Instinctively. If you don’t feel that way, good for you. But these are real feelings that many men feel.

So what should men do?

Intelligence should and MUST overcome instinct.

Intelligence should tell you that:

-She is your wife. You are a family. Marriage is about Duty and Responsibilities. It is your duty to love your wife. Common sense should tell you that even without childbirth, she will age. So love her in this trying times where her whole system has been turned inside out just to bear you a child.

- It isn’t her fault that her body is falling apart by various degrees depending on the woman’s genetic make up and level of physical fitness. Child birth could have caused it.

-The baby is both yours. Get down to child rearing. For now focus on catering for your wife and your child and leave your selfish sexual desires alone. Kiss her and help her to reignite the intimacy. Don’t go forcing sex on her.

-She just put to bed and probably facing post partum depression. Please allow her rest and stop asking for Pounded Yam and Fresh Eguisi soup everyday. Allow the woman rest a bit. Stop that nonsense of I don’t eat old soup. Which of una wey una Mama been Dey cool new soup for every night. Stop the forming and stop making life difficult for the mother who is taking care of a child.

-She also may not feel like having sex with you. Look she just put to bed. Doctors saw her bum bum. She is trying to wrap all that around her head, coupled with raising a child that can only communicate distress by Crying.

-She is weak from child rearing, waking up every 2-4 hours to breastfeed depending on age of the child.

-She is physically weaker due to the general stress from child birth.

-She is under pressure to perform as a mother.

-If she intentionally lets herself go, then encourage her to get back to shape. You are to live through the challenges of life together. Unless where your Life is threatened, health threatened or Infidelity, you are supposed to stick together.

Bless you brother...

What can we say?

The spirit could be willing, but the body is damn weak.

Only a serious sense of responsibility can save most men and women from their foolishness of not understanding that people must age.

Did you consider the change in the woman's behavior as well before making such concision?

Some housewives don't respect their husbands anymore, monetary or financial issues, wives attention shift to their children, neglecting their husbands and husband finding solace in side_chicks.

you are very funny

there's one woman I dey look at now. it's like her face dey change within 2 years of marriage. no longer attractive like before. she con dey use her hairstyle to make self look like before. it's the reality.

phemmyfour:
Most times , women undergo different changes in physique after birth and the man struggles to come to terms with the reality that once known attractive figure 8 has lost shape

It is actually the other way round

bukatyne:
The fundamental question is 'was there love before the kids came'? 'Why did they get married in the first place?' etc.

Then you would have your answer.

They got married to further their lineage. Most people marry nowadays because society demands it.

Jewessgratitud3:
Everyone is just beating about the bush even though the reason is obvious.

Once a woman starts having kids, she loses her attractiveness as a result of all the body changes that come with child birth. This puts the man off or gradually makes him lose interest in her especially when he still sees young girls with perky breasts, plumper and firmer bodies out there. This is the whole truth.

A married man used to disturb me some time ago and I'll always shun him. One day he saw one small fine girl that came around and told me to him talk to the girl and I asked him what of your wife and he said " that one na condemn property now" .. chai!!! Laugh wan finish me that day. This is a man with 5 kids o.

And not all women have money to go for breast lift, vaginal rejuvenation surgery etc. Childbirth is really hard on a woman. A godfearing man who loves his wife will not cheat. He will see beyond the physical.

mariahAngel:


When couples don't put each other first, and take each other's side first, situations like that are bound to happen.
Also, wives should stop acting like they have more rights to the children than their husbands.
Couples should put each other first, and raise their children as a team. (Let the children see and know it because children can be manipulative)
Couples should also be selfish once in a while, and create time for each (just themselves) as often as possible.
Their lives shouldn't just revolve around the children.

Couples must take eachother first...

Kids will grow to find their destiny path.

chocboi78:
People no longer marry because they’re in love.
Women marry who is ready financially and men marry just because they feel it’s time to hence no bond shared.
Also women tend to loose shape and beauty due to the rigors of child birth and also exhibit a drop in hygiene level.
Lastly , some men are generally promiscuous. They discuss round a table full of beer with the their bottle of beers and discuss how many girls they’ve conquered and use em to keep scores.

This is the honest truth. I see some testimonies from women who have been praying to settle down. Then all of a sudden someone proposes, maybe an old friend or someone they just met, and in three months they are married. Did you marry him because of love or because you are running out of time? Did he marry her because of love or because he feels it is time to settle down and birth the next generation? That’s why inability to conceive can destroy a marriage in Nigeria. If you never marry at a certain âge in this society you are a failure. If you don marry and you never conceive after some time you be failure. So people unknowingly imprison themselves because of society. However, men are lucky. Society has given them the power to cheat and not be held accountable so for a short time they can be free from the marital prison while the woman is shackled with taking care of the children and having to be a good wife and mother.

Fountainofyouth:



It's the daftness for me, in your mind, you think you have made sense

So caring for the kids is a woman's job, later you below par boys will be yapping spittle about complaining that there are countless mothers day in a year, asking why children prefer their mothers, when the results of your negligence becomes glaring, you'd go on and conclude that women manipulate kids against fathers, your comment just proves the senselessness and thoughtlessness of most of you, no logic at all.

ko si respect rara. Y u carry fight come na..? My name isn't Tinubu oo or related to him o. Na beating remain make u beat me like dis oo. Tank God I'm not close to u if not dis will be anoda naira Marley.

Fountainofyouth:



What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?

Go and ask mothers why they are quick to peronalise their kids when talking to the husband

Ahh.. Omo mi daaa(Where is my child)

Ahhh.. Ki lo shey omo mi (What happened to my child)

The husband go just dey look like.. Is he in the right house..

Women put emotions into every damn thing that's why God made us men head of the family

bukatyne:
The fundamental question is 'was there love before the kids came'? 'Why did they get married in the first place?' etc.

Then you would have your answer.

Lol.
In this era that people marry to tick the box, achieve status expected by society or get security na im you dey mention love?

Wetin concern love for this matter, bikonu?

If the man nor careful, the child she dey shower with love fit be another man pikin sef.

Marriage na scam these days.

bukatyne:
The fundamental question is 'was there love before the kids came'? 'Why did they get married in the first place?' etc.

Then you would have your answer.

Lol. You think the answer is that simple.

I have married for the past 7years but i Have never experienced this. i'm married happily like my parents. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Nazgul:

Exactly!

Most people in this category the op is referring to get married because they feel they're of age and therefore should be married, and not because they have found true love.

A vast number of them have zero romantic connection with their spouses. The marriage is just for having sex breeding kids. This is why they cheat without any form of conscience cos they see their marriage as a prison, and want some breathing space.

I'll say this and say it again and again. No spouse would get fed up and cheat on a partner he/she geninuely loves and respects.

Circumstances surrounding cheating in marriages are diverse, sometimes "genuine love" is not enough to prevent it.

Phraences:



This is the honest truth. I see some testimonies from women who have been praying to settle down. Then all of a sudden someone proposes, maybe an old friend or someone they just met, and in three months they are married. Did you marry him because of love or because you are running out of time? Did he marry her because of love or because he feels it is time to settle down and birth the next generation? That’s why inability to conceive can destroy a marriage in Nigeria. If you never marry at a certain âge in this society you are a failure. If you don marry and you never conceive after some time you be failure. So people unknowingly imprison themselves because of society. However, men are lucky. Society has given them the power to cheat and not be held accountable so for a short time they can be free from the marital prison while the woman is shackled with taking care of the children and having to be a good wife and mother.

That na old story. That was before hook-up, Insta, X, Tinder and all that. Today, guys need a lesson in cheating from their wives.