Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,165,407 members, 7,861,148 topics. Date: Saturday, 15 June 2024 at 03:31 AM

My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? (39427 Views)

Lady Heartbroken After Her Kid Sister Married Her Husband / Thoughts On Thread: She Married An Old Fashioned Man, Kindly Advise Her / She Married An Old Fashioned Man, Kindly Advise Her (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by henrimoto(m): 8:39pm On Sep 30, 2023
Mercylike:


But ur sister sef is very stewpid and I'm sorry to say..

She born 1, ẹ no change, born 2, ẹ no change.. Still born 3

Haba

I feel so sorry for her
I thought you were putting words for the sister in one of your previous comments up there ? And now, you are saying something else..
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Jewessgratitud3: 8:52pm On Sep 30, 2023
UnfairLife7:
This is what you could decipher from what she put up there? Where is your conscience? That guy is obviously irresponsible according to what she put up there and doesn't deserve a sane girl from a good home. He deserves his own type of women

Anyway, @Op your sister finally got what she wants. She loved the wrong person and she knows that herself reason why she wasn't proud of him when you guys asked who he was.


Exactly!
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by MumEmdy(f): 9:04pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Yeah I get your standpoint and you have every right to how you treat such people. I remember sometime last year when the guy fell sick and she started caring for him again and I said after all he did to you you still went caring for him on the sick bed? She picked quarrel with me and told me to stop coming to their house.

So I understand you but my church mind any time she calls no dey allow me

Blood is thicker than water and even more thicker when it involved a twin sibling, reasons why she is confiding in you more than your elder sister. Keep helping her as much as it doesn't affect you negatively and also keep praying for her. I also love her hustling spirit..it will definitely get better soon

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Jewessgratitud3: 9:10pm On Sep 30, 2023
MumEmdy:


Blood is thicker than water and even more thicker when it involved a twin sibling, reasons why she is confiding in you more than your elder sister. Keep helping her as much as it doesn't affect you negatively and also keep praying for her. I also love her hustling spirit..it will definitely get better soon

My dear.... Blood is thick o. I've tried for her. At least now she too don stand by the grace of God and can comfortably rent a decent apartment. So all I can do now is advise her to leave that place the mumu took them by to before those ones too start giving them face

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by virginchaser(m): 9:27pm On Sep 30, 2023
You chosed not to be logical. You simply chose the narrative that pleases you.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Nobody: 9:28pm On Sep 30, 2023
UnfairLife7:
This is what you could decipher from what she put up there? Where is your conscience? That guy is obviously irresponsible according to what she put up there and doesn't deserve a sane girl from a good home. He deserves his own type of women

Anyway, @Op your sister finally got what she wants. She loved the wrong person and she knows that herself reason why she wasn't proud of him when you guys asked who he was.

He may be the irresponsible husband.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Jewessgratitud3: 9:30pm On Sep 30, 2023
[quote author=virginchaser post=126115494][/quote]
.
He chose the one that affects him.
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by frozen70(f): 9:37pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.



The first problem here is lack of responsibility from her husband side and probably he is just a runs man

The second problem, which is the major problem is your sister

She is not seeing what you have seen and may not see it untill she suffers enough

Dont be surprise she will birth the forth child under this situation

Just leave her to decide anything she wants

When the shoe starts paining her, she will remove the shoes from her leg

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Jewessgratitud3: 9:52pm On Sep 30, 2023
frozen70:


The first problem here is lack of responsibility from her husband side and probably he is just a runs man

The second problem, which is the major problem is your sister

She is not seeing what you have seen and may not see it untill she suffers enough

Dont be surprise she will birth the forth child under this situation

Just leave her in the to decide anything she wants

When the shoe starts paining her, she will remove the shoes from her leg

I'm just looking at her to see what she'll do after renting the apartment.
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Fredfr33zy(m): 10:01pm On Sep 30, 2023
Skyview01:
Your sister deserves what she gets. I will have no pity for such individuals.

If you deliberately commit blunders with your life, i will never be there for you.

Both deserve each other!

Team !
I wan marry by force!

I don't know why women usually end up with bumps. You see those sweet-mouthed guys run away from them, but No those are the guys women like, men with sweet lies.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Luckysbab: 10:11pm On Sep 30, 2023
Mercylike:


But ur sister sef is very stewpid and I'm sorry to say..

She born 1, ẹ no change, born 2, ẹ no change.. Still born 3

Haba

I feel so sorry for her

That's where you know she's not telling the entire truth.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Basicend: 10:12pm On Sep 30, 2023
It's a one sided story yet. . So I can't infer for now.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by wallaze(m): 10:12pm On Sep 30, 2023
Ok we don hear you

Both you and ur sister are not serious with life that's all I could say
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Mryacks: 10:14pm On Sep 30, 2023
Omo, some people (men/women) just signed up for a life of misery all because of marriage....kai! Having the right partner is truely a blessing in age and time...

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Felix6: 10:14pm On Sep 30, 2023
Unmarry the useless man and marry you the useful man.
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Luckysbab: 10:16pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


I didn't want to mention what he does because he might be a member here or someone that knows him could be here. secondly, because what he does is seasonal. Drops by luck. Na that one family man supposed fold hands dey wait for? For how long?

Ok sha. I've heard you.

That's not the point he was making. You're a dishonest person.

You deceived everyone in the original post that "he does NOTHING".

Then you were caught out, inadvertently revealing he caters for the children's feeding and even school fees.

Little wonder your sister takes offence with your fake concern.

9 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Stephaniegold(f): 10:16pm On Sep 30, 2023
Ur sister was also f**lush to have get married to a foolish man....no courtship

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Luckysbab: 10:18pm On Sep 30, 2023
Kobojunkiee:
How does a woman identify these "better man" you lot keep babbling about? How does a man identify this "better woman" your ilk keeps yapping about? Do they have a particular mark on their foreheads are into a particular profession or do they have a particular smell or expression about them? lipsrsealed


This one dey find expo.

Marry Italian or French man; they say they are romantic.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Kobojunkiee: 10:19pm On Sep 30, 2023
Luckysbab:
■ This one dey find expo. Marry Italian or French man; they say they are romantic.
undecided in your mind, there are no bad French or Italian men? undecided

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by grandstar(m): 10:21pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3

Divorce is the answer.

Wrong: When your sister has the common-sense to say "Enough is enough" and leave.

That guy won't change.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Luckysbab: 10:21pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


My dear I'm telling you. It's one of the reasons I'm finding it difficult to even settle down with any struggling man. Before them turn me to one haggard old woman with responsibilities.

Why are you bothered about getting married, when una don say marriage isn't an achievement?

Marry your work and enjoy your life. Leave marriage for the "pickmes"

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Crimzy0099: 10:21pm On Sep 30, 2023
You are bittered because of your harted for him joor, maybe self na your crush that year.... 😂😂😂

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Luckysbab: 10:22pm On Sep 30, 2023
Kobojunkiee:
undecided in your mind, there are no bad French or Italian men? undecided

Follow your own mind. embarassed
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Luckysbab: 10:22pm On Sep 30, 2023
Crimzy0099:
You are bittered because of your harted for him joor, maybe self na your crush that year.... 😂😂😂

She's confused and not straightforward.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Timblaze(m): 10:23pm On Sep 30, 2023
Op!
I guess this must be you. Or if it is ur sister as you said.
Anyway I got no advice for you🙄 the guy was not doing anything reasonable you gave birth to your first child, let assume that is ok u are newly married.
Than again you give birth to second and third child with all his maltreatment and not doing anything, the guy must be good in the other room.
hmmm congratulations.
Ensure your sister keep her marriage o, is cold outside

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by searchlight: 10:24pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.


Your sister doesn't have sense dear. There is nothing bad in what's happening to her, she's just paying the prize for her foolishness. The husband is not doing anything, she's not doing anything and she keep producing kids. She's nothing but a childbearing machine. Let her suffer more dear.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Sunisonflex39(m): 10:25pm On Sep 30, 2023
Lol
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by bonnyhope: 10:25pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.



Some ladies don't actually want where they would enjoy they prefer guys that are bad and tag good guys boring.

Let her carry her cross

8 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by meetme01: 10:26pm On Sep 30, 2023
First, how old are the kids and their gender?

Second, can she cater for three kids if the husband pays the school fees?

Third, is she ready to continue being a single mother and let the husband have access?

Fourth, she needs her mental sanity, hence, she needs to stay away from the man.

Social Welfare is the way forward

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by cedricksly: 10:26pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.


you are of the opinion he should leave his children for a man you describe how useless he is, if that isn't selfishness on your path I wonder what is.. So you think it is easy abi?? First born your own first make you leave am. See Mohbad mama now shebi she dey cry now? Incase you don't know, any decision you sister would be taking going forward would center around the children primarily and her self secondary.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by NewDea4: 10:27pm On Sep 30, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.



Let her take the children and move.

She must not leave them with him o! And do not allow him move in with them again until he gets a job

1 Like 1 Share

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply)

Kenyan Lady Whose Hands Were Cut Off As She Couldn't Have A Child Is Pregnant / Please Help Save My Marriage / Family Palava, Is She Right In Filing For A Divorce or Wrong? (Photo)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 157
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.