₦airaland Forum

tit:
They are shot, fat and ugly

Goodlady:
To butress the op, Nigerian men lacked empathy. Empathy ll place them in the position of not questioning a lady that they are dating or married about finances, gifts, sex etc.
They don't realise that relationship is responsibility. They ll say what your father can't give you, you dey ask from me.
Why you come toast me (woo)?
As I come gree, am I not entitled to your resources?
They also lacked empathy of hurting their wives or female partners deliberately with cheating. They don't put themselves in women's shoe that how ll I feel if she's the one cheating?
Abeg make I no tok talk in order not to be misquoted. 😂 😂 😂😂😂😂😂💕💕😘😘😘😘😂
The violence is needed for cleansing of the minds of the reprobate dirty boys here that can't feed themselves but talk anyhow here against females.

yrhuhfy113:
SEE, MEN ARE NOT LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY... We are only LOVED BY MERIT, RAISED AS HUNTERS TO COMPETE AND PROVIDE else we are not competent.

THE THINGS YOU MENTION WE LACK ARE ACTUALLY NOT LACKING BUT SURPRESSED BY THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH....


Let me explain... EVEN on the case of wooing or getting a LADY for sex or marriage... LADIES GENERALLY FEEL SAFER WITH A RICH DUDE, THAN A CARING, EMPATHETIC S.O.B. Whyyy because the COUNTRY IS HARD.... and Ladies think of the FUTURE ALOT.

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME, ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME..... MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE..... BUT MONEY IS IMPORTANT TO ALL.

Persephone1:
I love your contribution and I am pleased you try to make others see from men's perspective. Believe me, i understand your points as well. I am not one to throw allegations or speak ill of people without trying to understand what made them who they are. From my write up, i insult no one but rather blame the society for raising both genders the wrong way.

Most Nigerian marriages do not last anymore, they are not standing the test of time. The modern marriage is nothing to write home about due to evolution i.e changes in our ways of lives. There is a shift but Men want to retain traditional benefits of being Men.

Women are taking just as much as financial responsibilities men take, you will hardly see a home where Men provides all in this Nigeria economy yet women are expected to continue with traditional homes. You all play this providing card so much that one is left to wonder if women don't also share responsibilities in the homes anymore. How may Men can successfully run a home singlehandedly?

Most Men lose interest in Marriage because they can't keep up, they have lost the bargaining power and are yet to understand or conform to the new dating norms. Thats where their issues lies, they don't know how to be in "control" because things have changed. They suffer reality shock because contrary to what they were raised with, they need more that having a manhood to thrive in the society.

The truth is Most men weren't raised with love in the Nigerian culture, that is why it is found wanting in typical Nigerian Man.

Yusufisraelj:
I get your submission, and it's true. I will take a bit of a tangent to address the problem from a personal responsibility point of view.

A man/woman cannot give what they don't have. How many have taken out time to study about marriage, a man, a woman, love making, communication, career growth etc? Just to name a few. We live in a country where we don't appreciate information from the little things to advance concepts like rockets and space exploration, very few Nigerians do, hence the paucity of worthy success references.

I was watching a podcast this evening and the speaker was saying modern arrange marriages outlives marriages built on falling in love at first by a good percentage, why? Because an arranged marriage brings at it's core COMMITMENT, and so both partners have an orientation to make things work, accept each other's weaknesses and are willing to commit to the growth of the other person and themselves. This does not negate the fact that love at first doesn't work, but emotions don't see people through difficult times commitment does, and so of that's at the core of the relationship them possibly it may last.

My submission is this, we need a constant studying of finding out from ourselves to our partners and what will make the relationship improve, people just go about with what they're told or what society seems to recognize, not knowing there's a superior way of living, if they'll find out.

I believe the beauty of any love relationship is when two willing people commit to each other and are willing to improve the dynamics of that relationship at all LEVELS via communication and information while also have maturity to resolve conflict in a constructive manner.

If you and some few others get my point here then I'm good . I'm really tired of trying to correct people that this is not a shade or avenue to downgrade a specific gender rather it is stating the irregularities in Nigerian marriages.

You are so right on this! Have you ever wonder why it is common to hear phrases like " Marriage is an eye opener" or he/she changed after wedding, or I married a complete stranger" in the Nigerian society? When we hear or read phrases like these we term the accused partner deceitful and evil but the truth is the accuser is not so innocent after all, further investigation into the supposed relationship/marriage you will realize the latter didn't do what ought to be done because he or she isn't informed. If a person refuse to prepare, read books, get information then on what scale or basis would evaluation of intending partner be? It's a very simple logic... When one is filled with necessary information, such will be intelligent enough to evaluate and be a good judge of character and value. A shallow person will go after a shallow one the both will give shallow outcome. Thank God for money and sex most Nigerian marriages wouldn't last.


On this, I may disagree a little due to my perception of modern arrange marriages. It sounds like the Ned/Regina kind of marriage and I don't subscribe to such. Modern arrange marriages is what I will term Marriage of Convenience and may or may not stand the test of time. While it may seem like both parties are playing their parts and everything goes smoothly, the moment the card is off the table from an end the other end bails.
Rather I will say a marriage where both parties are INTENTIONAL about one another thrives better. And it takes Love to be INTERESTED in other person's life, it takes Love to be INTENTIONAL about the person and it takes Love to be COMMITTED to that same person. Love goes beyond feelings, it's not a burning desire but a gentle gradual process. Love is built. Attraction on the other end is what you feel at first sight when it matures it turns love or obsession or lust or infatuation depending on who is feeling it and for whom it is felt. Love is very very important. Commitment waver at the death of Love, commitment may not totally end for some other factors but it will reduce if love is absent. Both go in hand .

You are right again and again ( last two paragraphs) the problem is finding someone who will meet you halfway at least. What we have these days is entitled parasitic people who aren't ready to come to the table with equal hands. Lol I will try not go over and over the shortcomings of Nigerian men in the aspect of togetherness, teamwork, humility to learn or interest in their women's life beyond the physical ( money, wigs,cars, clothes)

Persephone1:
If you and some few others get my point here then I'm good . I'm really tired of trying to correct people that this is not a shade or avenue to downgrade a specific gender rather it is stating the irregularities in Nigerian marriages.

You are so right on this! Have you ever wonder why it is common to hear phrases like " Marriage is an eye opener" or he/she changed after wedding, or I married a complete stranger" in the Nigerian society? When we hear or read phrases like these we term the accused partner deceitful and evil but the truth is the accuser is not so innocent after all, further investigation into the supposed relationship/marriage you will realize the latter didn't do what ought to be done because he or she isn't informed. If a person refuse to prepare, read books, get information then on what scale or basis would evaluation of intending partner be? It's a very simple logic... When one is filled with necessary information, such will be intelligent enough to evaluate and be a good judge of character and value. A shallow person will go after a shallow one the both will give shallow outcome. Thank God for money and sex most Nigerian marriages wouldn't last.


On this, I may disagree a little due to my perception of modern arrange marriages. It sounds like the Ned/Regina kind of marriage and I don't subscribe to such. Modern arrange marriages is what I will term Marriage of Convenience and may or may not stand the test of time. While it may seem like both parties are playing their parts and everything goes smoothly, the moment the card is off the table from an end the other end bails.
Rather I will say a marriage where both parties are INTENTIONAL about one another thrives better. And it takes Love to be INTERESTED in other person's life, it takes Love to be INTENTIONAL about the person and it takes Love to be COMMITTED to that same person. Love goes beyond feelings, it's not a burning desire but a gentle gradual process. Love is built. Attraction on the other end is what you feel at first sight when it matures it turns love or obsession or lust or infatuation depending on who is feeling it and for whom it is felt. Love is very very important. Commitment waver at the death of Love, commitment may not totally end for some other factors but it will reduce if love is absent. Both go in hand .

You are right again and again ( two last paragraphs) the problem is finding someone who will meet you halfway at least. What we have these days is entitled parasitic people who aren't ready to come to the table with equal hands. Lol I will try not go over and over the shortcomings of Nigerian men in the aspect of togetherness, teamwork, humility to learn or interest in their women's life beyond the physical ( money, wigs,cars, clothes)

Persephone1:
"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

Cc Nlfpmod 😡🤬

cooooooks:
■ Too many nigerian men are accepting of insults and abuse from their Nigerian girlfriends, families and culture. Too many Nigerian men have accepted, as fact, that all they have to do is share money. That is why most other women, African and non African alike, see Nigerian men as spenders. As people who will work 4 jobs, just to buy a $2,000 gift for their ungrateful gf. And these men will also accept toxic behaviours, mid sex, etc. Staying loyal even if their woman is killing them.
■ Stay away from women who do not seek to give as much as they get my Nigerian men.

Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

Persephone1:
Example 1

They can't keep healthy intelligent conversations

Annahh:
So much bitterness in a post against men, all men are not the same, my man is one of the most caring person I know, my dad too. I'm just blessed with such men in my life. Not to say I have not met men with ugly and uncaring character, men that are narcists.

Did you read the post at all?

Where's the bitterness?

Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

Divoc19:
When you say Nigerian men, be specific because the older Nigerian men are still the most caring of them all. 99.9% of Nigerian men on Nairaland are boys who are struggling to eat good food daily.
And that's why they hate on women alot because women ain't cheap here

Magnoliaa:
Persephone!!!!!!! 😂


Which kind mod did you dirty this early Saturday morning? 😭😭

Thread since when?

Like i don't understand.... Why this beautiful Saturday

Someone don dey talk say na bitterness fill this post

Persephone1:
Who pushed this post to fp?
Wahala!

Make I just log out because mentions from unthinking people will be in abundance Today

Na Opinion oOoOO

Persephone1:
That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world?

Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

Persephone1:
Like i don't understand.... Why this beautiful Saturday

Someone don dey talk say na bitterness fill this post

Magnoliaa:
I sayyyy. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why??

Nlfp.mod just wan set you up for dragging o.

Them don they hyperventilate already... I dey feel the heat from their nose and ears here already

I should have just drop the post on diary and move on. Most of these people hardly read to understand let alone take constructive criticism.

pocohantas:
Hahahahaha. Truly you are in the mood to look for trouble. I feel the same way. That is why I looked towards Cambodia.