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Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) - Romance - Nairaland

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Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nobody: 10:25pm On Jan 21, 2023
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

77 Likes 22 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by peter0071(m): 10:27pm On Jan 21, 2023
abeg go and collect your PVC

165 Likes 15 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nobody: 10:29pm On Jan 21, 2023
peter0071:
abeg go and collect your PVC
Example 1

They can't keep healthy intelligent conversations angry

100 Likes 13 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Magnoliaa(f): 10:30pm On Jan 21, 2023
grin grin grin

Why you wan cause violence this chill night?

18 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by pocohantas(f): 10:30pm On Jan 21, 2023
Hahahahaha. Truly you are in the mood to look for trouble. I feel the same way. That is why I looked towards Cambodia.

41 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by 2times2(m): 10:30pm On Jan 21, 2023
It's a mutual feeling my dear... Nigerian men feel the same way bout' you.
P.S: didn't read a single line of whatever ya typed up there.

352 Likes 28 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by peter0071(m): 10:32pm On Jan 21, 2023
Nations and other countries are running for Nigerian men... and you are saying these about the Nigerian men?? anyway, this is your opinion which i will respect....
enjoy your opinion... Cotonou men dey available sha. Make i link you?
Persephone1:
Example 1

They can't keep healthy intelligent conversations angry

211 Likes 15 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nobody: 10:33pm On Jan 21, 2023
2times2:
It's a mutual feeling my dear... Nigerian men feel the same way bout' you.
P.S: didn't read a single line of whatever ya typed up there.
Example 2

They are too lazy to read, once it is not erotica magazine grin

77 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by TIGERSKY: 10:34pm On Jan 21, 2023
Persephone1:
"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands
😑🀬
mtchewwwwww

145 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by yrhuhfy113: 10:39pm On Jan 21, 2023
Persephone1:
"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands
😑🀬

wow, awesome... you are right and have a strong point
A very compeling piece of idea about Nigerian men... sadly its true but wholistically its myopic.


I am not here to make a CASE for men... i acknowledge your expressed thoughts as reality but as INCOMPLETE.

SEE, MEN ARE NOT LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY... We are only LOVED BY MERIT, RAISED AS HUNTERS TO COMPETE AND PROVIDE else we are not competent.

THE THINGS YOU MENTION WE LACK ARE ACTUALLY NOT LACKING BUT SURPRESSED BY THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH....


Let me explain... EVEN on the case of wooing or getting a LADY for sex or marriage... LADIES GENERALLY FEEL SAFER WITH A RICH DUDE, THAN A CARING, EMPATHETIC S.O.B. Whyyy because the COUNTRY IS HARD.... and Ladies think of the FUTURE ALOT.
So after being drilled by our parents to always COME FIRST IN CLASS, and being punished for not coming first or not outdoing others.... we now enter a tetiary institution where only the BEST GRADUANDS are assured of jobs or connections... so we have to compete, hustle for money and do everything possible to be among those who thrive or survive.. AFTER YEARS OF LIVING AS A SURVIVOR.... we now marry, with HOOOOOGEE responsibilities, wife and kids... most likely WIFE HAS NOTHING DOING OR EARNS LITTLE YET FEELS ENTITLED TO BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN.... Then we should let down our GUARD and still be as caring, as emotionally sensitive, as all that you women want us to be??
C'mon sis... YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL.

Marry unambitious men from other countries who are not living in the same terrible conditions we have had in NIGERIA... they have emotions to spare, because THEIR FINANCIAL SYSTEM WORKS and is DEPENDABLE... not here. So you can't come here and GENERALIZE, when majority of your GENDER.... WILL CHOOSE SIX CARS OVER SIX PACKS. Pls... have some balance.

Little wonder why MEN are no longer interested in MARRIAGE... because it has become like an orphanage, so baby mama is now what many opt for, so as to retain their freedom. Ladies wanting EVERYTHING yet offering so little JUST BECAUSE THEY EXIST, is the highest form of lowkey witchcraft ever. grin

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME, ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME..... MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE..... BUT MONEY IS IMPORTANT TO ALL.

466 Likes 67 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by ZINNYBANKS: 10:41pm On Jan 21, 2023
Your problem ..

54 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by PerfectStranger(m): 10:58pm On Jan 21, 2023
Cry of a lonely girl

125 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Kobojunkie: 11:00pm On Jan 21, 2023
yrhuhfy113:
β– SEE, MEN ARE NOT LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY... We are only LOVED BY MERIT, RAISED AS HUNTERS TO COMPETE AND PROVIDE else we are not competent.
β– THE THINGS YOU MENTION WE LACK ARE ACTUALLY NOT LACKING BUT SURPRESSED BY THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH....
1. Raised as hunters in an age where men and women are altogether out in the same field hunting/competing for the same prices? undecided

2. Suppressed for what exact purpose and to whose advantage? Obviously not themselves so why? undecided

23 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nobody: 11:08pm On Jan 21, 2023
πŸΉπŸ›πŸšπŸΏπŸ₯—πŸ₯˜

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nobody: 11:12pm On Jan 21, 2023
pocohantas:
Hahahahaha. Truly you are in the mood to look for trouble. I feel the same way. That is why I looked towards Cambodia.
grin grin grin grin grin grin

Mexican Men all the way ✈️✈️

18 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nobody: 11:13pm On Jan 21, 2023
Magnoliaa:
grin grin grin

Why you wan cause violence this chill night?
lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

2 Likes

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by 2dice01: 11:27pm On Jan 21, 2023
Women are angels
Men are the villians wink

18 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Botking: 12:04am On Jan 22, 2023
πŸ‘‚πŸ’―πŸŽ²πŸŽΏ

1 Like

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Nyascobar1414: 12:18am On Jan 22, 2023
Evening Newspapers and Nigerian men be like oil and water...

83 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Ted4real: 1:58am On Jan 22, 2023
Can we talk?

How are you enjoying your weekend

1 Like

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Winterhaven(m): 2:24am On Jan 22, 2023
I'd love to read what you wrote if you could summarise...

5 Likes

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Aaaaarghmed(m): 5:57am On Jan 22, 2023
I thank God say nothing concern me with Naija babes,nothing to offer.They are just used to kill boredom angry

34 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Mindlog: 5:59am On Jan 22, 2023
peter0071:
Nations and other countries are running for Nigerian men... and you are saying these about the Nigerian men?? anyway, this is your opinion which i will respect....
enjoy your opinion... Cotonou men dey available sha. Make i link you?

For what reason(s) are they running for them?⁸😊

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Goodlady(f): 6:03am On Jan 22, 2023
To butress the op, Nigerian men lacked empathy. Empathy ll place them in the position of not questioning a lady that they are dating or married about finances, gifts, sex etc.
They don't realise that relationship is responsibility. They ll say what your father can't give you, you dey ask from me.
Why you come toast me (woo)?
As I come gree, am I not entitled to your resources?
They also lacked empathy of hurting their wives or female partners deliberately with cheating. They don't put themselves in women's shoe that how ll I feel if she's the one cheating?
Abeg make I no tok talk in order not to be misquoted. πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜‚
Magnoliaa:
grin grin grin

Why you wan cause violence this chill night?
The violence is needed for cleansing of the minds of the reprobate dirty boys here that can't feed themselves but talk anyhow here against females.

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Goodlady(f): 6:05am On Jan 22, 2023
ZINNYBANKS:
Your problem abeg how person fit see like N50m before the end of January legitimately ..
Only in your dream. Imagine it n pray you dream it.

1 Like

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Sweetvie: 7:05am On Jan 22, 2023
Vawulence is the only way πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

3 Likes

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by lenghtinny(m): 7:29am On Jan 22, 2023
Epistle to the feminicians😏😏😏

If e easy change your gender nahπŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

26 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by 912(m): 7:29am On Jan 22, 2023
Blaming others for your loneliness cheesy cheesy

Nne, change your attitude and then good men would come your way

59 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by 2times2(m): 7:31am On Jan 22, 2023
Persephone1:
Example 2

They are too lazy to read, once it is not erotica magazine grin
Don't drag moi erotica magazines into this😴
Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by marlow1962(m): 7:32am On Jan 22, 2023
Shame on y’all the day you get married to a Nigerian man. That’s all I have to say.

30 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Why I May Not Marry A Nigerian Man (opinion) by Jeon(f): 7:34am On Jan 22, 2023
πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

So I am not alone.

13 Likes 2 Shares

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