Wetin concern me?
My own is to get the food done and serve me food to eat.
On a lighter note, even though she may end up not doing it sef, but she must make the move or try(you know that kind impression na?).
I know my mom, at that point she will be the one to tell her not to worry.

illicit:
As the guy I won't let her do such

And if my mum raised it, I will tell her she wanted to but I didn't allow it.

She's meant to meet my family not to cook for them, my mother has always been doing the cooking.

If I should follow her to their own house,I met her father doing some stuff, am I obliged to join him?

I am not

You are even to supposed to help your mother in first instance. Both of you are……uhm!!!

What is worth doing at all, is worth doing at once.

If it were to be a cooking for a party or so, you would not allow your girlfriend to assist, just because it's a first time visit, abi? Rubbish!

If it is expected for your girlfriend to assist your mum in the kitchen tomorrow, or next month, then that expectation can never be time bound!

She does not even have to be your girlfriend to assist your mum in the kitchen!


The question to ask is, what value is lost if you assist?

The other question ,is there no value lost if you do not assist?

englishmart:
Mature mind only

As a lady your boyfriend took u to his family house for the first time and u met her mother cooking, are you suppose to join her in the kitchen or u seat as a visitor and allow her to finish the cooking and serve u ?
Remember it's the first time meeting the family

Werey want shift my gis-ring just cos inwore short skirt but God no gre am... Since that time, I no dey try am again

This would depend on the distance between the sitting room and the kitchen. If they are wealthy and the distance from the sitting room to the kitchen is afar off n it’s not obvious that the mum is in the kitchen, there would be no need assisting her. But if it’s a small house and it’s so obvious that the mum is busy in the kitchen, I would gladly join her to assist

This is how you know if you're dating a boy or man

Unless she's an extrovert and feels comfortable with it. Otherwise, she doesn't even know my mum and what she likes in the kitchen. It will be uncomfortable for them both. She's a guest on first visiting and should be served.

Error401:
First impression lasts longer, you should at least try to do it. Most mothers wont allow you being the first time, but respect is reciprocal.
This is only in respect to my tribe, Most yoruba mothers will give you that honor for the first time, they wont allow you else you insist.But you will gain the respect for trying

What do u mean by first impression?? To be slaving on first day? No thanks

Hackneyed topic posted for the 20,000th time.

Well its up to you, thats not slaving, thats humility

Puss360:

What do u mean by first impression?? To be slaving on first day? No thanks

Nigerian mentality tho. So na by cooking dem dey know good manners?

JASONjnr:


Nigeria makes very inconvenient traditions and it used to work for them back then.


These days it doesn't matter if the lady choses to join in the kitchen or not.


My mother wouldn't allow my woman on her first visit to join in the kitchen. More so, if she chooses to do so, we might just see her to be a pretender.

The best way is to be yourself. If the mother-in-law to be wants you in the kitchen, the lady should do so, it wouldn't take anything away from her.

Eggzacly

englishmart:
Mature mind only

As a lady your boyfriend took u to his family house for the first time and u met her mother cooking, are you suppose to join her in the kitchen or u seat as a visitor and allow her to finish the cooking and serve u ?
Remember it's the first time meeting the family

Your what again Boyfriend right? Case closed!!

For your information, I don't even like eating when visiting people's houses for the first time, I'd probably turn down the food anyway.

I prefer being given a drink and not food... Even if it's just water.

This has nothing to do with my marital status because whether the mother gives me the food or not after cooking in the kitchen without my assistance, that's her choice... It's not like I'm from a hungry background anyways.

KyleJason:


Dear Samantha,

Sit and wait to be served like a queen, right?
Are you even married or don't want to be married?
I see! You only want to be married to your cats.
Please, take the initiative.

Puss360:
In as much as I am the girlfriend of her son, to her, I am a visitor, coming to her house for the first time... she should cook and serve me....
Then we talk Nd familiarise ourselves...
On my next coming, I can then see if I can assist her in doing anything I can do

Ok boss lady

Join her in the kitchen and gist about what when I'd have just met her for two minutes

She'll think that I'm being way too forward.

You seem to forget that women and men don't think and see things the same way, just because you as a man can do something with ease, it doesn't mean the same thing will apply with women.

ThatCEO:


mrstwrite

You can at least join her in the kitchen and gist, whether you choose to actively participate in d cooking should not be forced on you. While my mother won't make you to do anything, she will at appreciate the courtesy of you having you around.

I will do the same too if I saw your dad changing the car fluid or mowing the lawn because I enjoy those things on a normal.

That aside, the rate of laziness among so called modern women calls for a national emergency.

So you just followed me to insult me?

jaksmillioniar:
south animal no man can marry u wit dis mentality. U think ur mum in law will accept dat is she ur slave dat u sat and wait dat she serve u

illicit:
As the guy I won't let her do such

And if my mum raised it, I will tell her she wanted to but I didn't allow it.

She's meant to meet my family not to cook for them, my mother has always been doing the cooking.

If I should follow her to their own house,I met her father doing some stuff, am I obliged to join him?

I am not

U get sense. That should be the standard, she is a visitor as such she has to be treated as a visitor.

On your first visit, you are still a visitor and have no place in the kitchen. The boyfriend's mum too wont expect you to join her so quickly. She should be more interested in knowing you first.

First time visit....No No.
Don't overstep your boundaries! Remember you are a guest (girlfriend) not wife or finance. What are you trying to show by going to someone's kitchen?.

Dangrace01:
Join her in the kitchen. African mothers always use this to test their son's girlfriend.

Why would she join her??

That's not necessary, please.

If the mother has an issue with that, she's definitely a troublesome person

first or last time,you are supposed to join her in the kitchen!you have no excuse at all!!

illicit:
As the guy I won't let her do such

And if my mum raised it, I will tell her she wanted to but I didn't allow it.

She's meant to meet my family not to cook for them, my mother has always been doing the cooking.

If I should follow her to their own house,I met her father doing some stuff, am I obliged to join him?

I am not

Yes, you are. So you'll see your father-in-law washing in his car and you'll sit and watch 8n the name of being a visitor?

beardedboy:

Yes, you are. So you'll see your father-in-law washing in his car and you'll sit and watch 8n the name of being a visitor?

So if u met him mixing mortar to make blocks, or laying blocks to make a foundation for a new building

You will join him

She should sweep the 🏠 instead and check if they are dirty clothes or other cleaning to do .

When mama finish cooking she can set the table then serve the meal. After the family finish eating then wash the dishes and thank the family.
By so doing she will win the family over.

immortalcrown:
A first-time visitor as a girl the guy's parents already know as their son's fiancee or as a girlfriend unknown to the parents?

If his parents already know her as his fiancée before the first visit, the girl should join the boy's mother in the kitchen. But if his mother insists on doing the cooking alone, the girl should not insist on participating in the task.

The poster left out some necessary details. Commenters above me failed to asked for those details. Na so una dey answer questions or judge matters wey una no understand. The commenters above sound as if all first-time visitors are the same. Who the girl is to both the boy and his parents determines what is advisable for her to do. Some first-time visitors are more familiar or connected than regular visitors. Do not base your judgement on the fact that she is visiting for the first time.

Exactly... If she's known to be a fiancee before her first visit, it's a good thing to volunteer to help. First impression at first time. No CAP

Brandiebird:
Whenever I’m at anyone’s home and they are busy, I ask if there’s anything I could do. Courtesy demands you offer to help and leave the rest to your host.

This is it.

You ask your host how you can help out then let them tell you what to do and not do. It's not that complicated. Everyone is not the same. Some people may want you to do nothing. Some will want you to do something. This is why you should ask.

In this case, the boyfriend should be the bridge between his girl and his family. The boyfriend knows his family. So, he should already have briefed her on how to present herself which includes if she is going to help out in the kitchen or not.
For me, if I'm taking a girl to meet my mum, I must have already decided to marry her, so I would personally want her to join my mum to do a little in the kitchen just for the sake of bonding. I'm only interested in girls who genuinely like cooking, so doing that will be fun for her.

Silentgroper:
Depends.. If they ask ... Bt offering it, nah her dad would be so mad at me..

... I'm already drowned in euphoria from d sound of dat.. . There is no stopping it..

May not be mad ... It just only depends on how you come in to the matter. You must appear in the matter without abrupt interruption, show concern and compassion. All you need to do is tell the carpenter that it's fine, u will take charge of the settlement.

And if there are pple over there. Excuse the mechanic out by your self without embarrassing the dad, settle with the carpenter and let him go from there. It's all about applying wisdom.

As a matter of fact... Settling the matter should never come as an embarasment or annoyance for matured in-laws... Afterall ur their son-in-law and it's one good opportunity to show how capable and sensitive to situation you are.

chatinent:
Nigerian mentality tho. So na by cooking dem dey know good manners?

Dey play

Ask the mother for a bottle of stout and go to the sitting rom cross your legs and watch Netflix also tell the mom to call you once food is ready as you are famished and had a busy day with her son.

Samantha124:
For your information, I don't even like eating when visiting people's houses for the first time, I'd probably turn down the food anyway.

I prefer being given a drink and not food... Even if it's just water.

This has nothing to do with my marital status because whether the mother gives me the food or not after cooking in the kitchen without my assistance, that's her choice... It's not like I'm from a hungry background anyways.

Samantha,

Why are you not married or are you waiting for me?

I'm available, that's is if you want me.

Marrying you would be the best thing to happen in my life.

Truth be told I'll not, EXCEPT I'm being asked to assist....no be by busy body them dey use know wife or husband material.