₦airaland Forum

Hathor5:
I don`t have your sisters` side of the story but verbal abuse is a no no.

If I were you, I would tell them that from now on and for all times, you would only consider polite requests, consider, not necessarily answer in the affirmative.

I don't think you need to their side of the story for anything if he was truly the one footing the bills as he claimed which I think he can't lie about

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

A child of God don't say 'I hate you' to anyone, under whatever circumstances. Just apologize to them and keep your cool in order not to destroy your relationship with God. Devil is setting you up for something sinister as he can see you shine brighter in the nearest future, Don't let the darkness of hate into your heart....Remember Joseph and his brothers and his end, though hated he never stopped loving them. Also don't be in a rush to move out, if you can't endure what your sisters are doing to you now, how can you endure what your wife will do to you? or you'll also move out by then? You can't set any serious boundary for people who bath you, fed you, held your hand the very first day you started creche and also supported you through higher institution. You may do that later, but not while you are under their roof. Life isn't that serious, apologize to them and move on with your life.

tbarrister:
Unfortunately that's the only way to deal with disrespect, even of its from those who senior you. If you're a man, you have to act like a man and don't tolerate disrespect from anyone except your parents

I never believe in violence there are better ways to handle disrespect. I don't condone disrespect not even from parent. Every man is equal in ma presence rich poor whatever status you hold

Tell your sisters to go marry and dominate in their husbands houses. Simple! What sort of wickedness and non challant attitude is that? They are so inconsiderate. Or they forgot they are older than you??

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

Because you don't set boundaries. The only reason for someone to talk to you like that is because You don't set boundaries. And stop letting people know how much you earn, you're just being prideful adn a showoff. Let your spendings be secret, even the one you give to your mom.

If you can pay your own bills , starting from house rent to sustenances then it’s high time you moved out. Most especially if you’re 25 and above,
Distance brings respect while familiarity brings contempt…
But think deeply before moving out, ensure you’re financially and mentally ready cos there’s no going back o..

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

Na see finish be that. Just get your own crib and the nonsense will stop.

Send what you can from time to time. Visit once in 6 months.

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

Entitlement, do not give, at least you’re setting boundaries which is a good step, she knows better than come banging on your door from now on.

Allow them pay for the prepaid this time and maybe move out.

Are you sure you are related by Blood??

eyinjuege:
If you have sense, you will move out to a small apartment- single room, so nobody comes to encroach. Just send a certain amount monthly to your parents and lock up no matter the sob stories from anybody

So sorry for this question I want to ask you
Are you sensible at all?
From your comment,it clearly shows you never had the proper upbringing in a family sitting.

judecares1:
Yesterday i read about Anthony Joshua who said he still stays with his mom at the 34yrs,does it mean he cant afford an apartment of his own? Why do we always give wrong advise all the time by asking him to leave just cos he has little money? From your statement you said you have assisted your family from Jan till date with approx 100k and i will ask you a simple question, how much do you think will be cost of decent accommodation in your location excluding payment of your bills, medical and feeding?
Let me tell you something, all women are same be it your sister or girlfriend, they all have entitlement mentality or the ideology of trying to prove they are not weak just as the society sees them, if you can tolerate your girlfriend with all her nagging character but you find it offensive when your elder sisters talk to you. Do you think your elder sisters are happy being single or not being able to contribute to the wellbeing of the family? Do you know the emotional stress which day are passing through? Bro your sisters are talking to u in such a way because you guys are one, don't find it offensive rather an act of love. Try and ask yourself if you were to be in there shoes how will you feel?

Take your financial opportunity of assisting the family as a blessing and not as financial burden on you.

And finally never take the words from your mom or your elder sisters personal for it will go along way to help. Women tends to talk or speak out of emotions

You were making sense until you had to deviate by telling him that someone being a witch is an act of love. Thunder fire that kind witchy love. The op should start returning fire for fire and let the 'love' flow around.

I pity your future wife. She will see shege from your family .

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

Save up and move out fast.

Still help as much as possible but draw boundaries. Some times you can drop money (especially if it is big) and let them know you have a project and so they should try and manage it for a period beyond the normal frequency you used to drop money.


Apply wisdom to difficult people or they'll drag you down to their level.

Politicstoday:
Renting a house isn’t the profound solution here. The point here is they take you for granted cos’ you are too too quiet. There are some areas you should be quiet and there are some areas you shouldn’t be quiet. First sit your sister down and tell them about life and family. See from your write up here, the relationship between you and your sister isn’t cordial at all. Sit them down and tell them what you can offer in the family. Not only that tell them the economic reality in the nation today. With this they will give themselves wisdom and manner of approach to you ooo. I don’t think you have to go outside to rent an apartment again. To me it has not reach that level at all.

I seriously doubt that this tactic will work, these people look down on him like he is a kid. They may even feel insulted that a kid is trying to reason with them. The best solution is to return fire for fire, respect is earned. Because you are older doesn't grant you automatic respect, behave like an elder and earn your respect. But if you behave like a lunatic then you will be treated like one. Reasoning with most women can be very challenging and emotionally draining.

hobat4cash:
I seriously doubt that this tactic will work, these people look down on him like he is a kid. They may even feel insulted that a kid is trying to reason with them. The best solution is to return fire for fire, respect is earned. Because you are older doesn't grant you automatic respect, behave like an elder and earn your respect. But if you behave like a lunatic then you will be treated like one. Reasoning with most women can be very challenging and emotionally draining.

yes, but returning it to them in a physical way won’t solve the problem. Let me tell you here, this is not the first time the sisters have been insulting him in the family. It’s just that he’s very quiet not to talk to them. Now that he has grown to fed himself and the family in his capacity, he can sit them down, talk to them and tell them the reality.

Before I comment, I would like to know the tribe you are from? I know say na one tribe some people always feel sense of entitlement on top another person's right.

Joecross888:
Anyone, anything that can make a man angry can send him to hell... Never let anyone see Ur anger be calm at all time emotional intelligence

Dem go continue dey ride on u
Know the diff btw expressing ur feeling from violence
A close mouth is a close destiny
If u no like am tell them mak dem stop
Nairalanders cant do anything
Self help is the best help

Sorry, endure, listen,obey and be blessed

Hello MichealTokunboh,I ve bn noticing all what you are doing all these years and it's freaking me out,it's like I m bn monitored and it's pretty not okay with me.


May I please suggest you kindly put an end to it.
Friend/foe
Which?

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

We have heard your story, but we didnt hear the one from your sisters. From what you said, you are trying. However, forget all these ill advices you are getting here about moving out, locking up etc. These people advising you have nothing to do with your family hence see it from their own perspective. They dont care about your family bc they have no ties with them, you have. Blood is thicker than water. When the family was feining for you these guys were not there or neither did they know how you were helped by your family. Some of those your sisters may have suffered to carry you around and fed you. Even though they dont work which i feel they should be working anyway, take it easy. Try to peacefully and respectfully appeal to them to know you have grown and what they are doing is hurting you. Also, try to sit with the whole family to let them know no matter what, you need to have some savings and invest, you cant just collect and spend that way because no one know what the future holds. Talk especially to your mum and dad to prevail on your sisters to take it easy with you. But you must also try to be humble because i know sometimes when someone starts doing better than his siblings (financially especially)the temptation to feel superior is not too far. I pray for you to see peace and enjoy peace with your family. Family is the greatest thing to have.

You’re doing push and pull with your sisters
Build yourself, raise white flag and they’ll let you be


God knows I have no time for nonsense and drama people, I have nothing to prove to anybody
Women love drama, don’t give it to them

You have to stop being a weakling.

Craze for them small make them know say they suppose respect you as a man, all women wants to control a man, even if you move out, they still won't respect you and your future wife still won't respect you when she finds this weakness of yours.

That's how women are.

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

make I hear ur sister side of the story first.

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

Ask questions, maybe you are an adopted child and they have found out from their mum secretly

As a Human being if there is a place you're not being respected you have to leave / move out of there.

Joecross888:
I never believe in violence there are better ways to handle disrespect. I don't condone disrespect not even from parent. Every man is equal in ma presence rich poor whatever status you hold

I'll never advise you to use violence on your relatives, the thought didn't even cross my mind but you need to give them space when they disrespect you, you need to be stubborn and uncooperative when they're rude. You need to ignore and avoid exchange of words just focusing on relevant things. With time they'll learn to interact with you politely because they know you have self respect and that's why I said you should act like a man. No one can respect you if you don't respect yourself

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

We are in Africa where respect and value is tied to your age and how much you spend.
If your parents are still alive, what have they done to address the situation?

Glad to know you pray, the scripture is simply being fulfilled;

Matt.10.34 - "Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.
Matt.10.35 - For I have come to "set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law';
Matt.10.36 - and "a man's enemies will be those of his own household.'
Matt.10.37 - He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
Matt.10.38 - And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
Matt.10.39 - He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

Luke.14.26 - "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.
Luke.14.27 - And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

adeskee:
So sorry for this question I want to ask you
Are you sensible at all?
From your comment,it clearly shows you never had the proper upbringing in a family sitting.

Don't be an unfortunate fellow

judecares1:
Yesterday i read about Anthony Joshua who said he still stays with his mom at the 34yrs,does it mean he cant afford an apartment of his own? Why do we always give wrong advise all the time by asking him to leave just cos he has little money? From your statement you said you have assisted your family from Jan till date with approx 100k and i will ask you a simple question, how much do you think will be cost of decent accommodation in your location excluding payment of your bills, medical and feeding?
Let me tell you something, all women are same be it your sister or girlfriend, they all have entitlement mentality or the ideology of trying to prove they are not weak just as the society sees them, if you can tolerate your girlfriend with all her nagging character but you find it offensive when your elder sisters talk to you. Do you think your elder sisters are happy being single or not being able to contribute to the wellbeing of the family? Do you know the emotional stress which day are passing through? Bro your sisters are talking to u in such a way because you guys are one, don't find it offensive rather an act of love. Try and ask yourself if you were to be in there shoes how will you feel?

Take your financial opportunity of assisting the family as a blessing and not as financial burden on you.

And finally never take the words from your mom or your elder sisters personal for it will go along way to help. Women tends to talk or speak out of emotions

Mumu talking rubbish.

Crazy they should be the one doing thing for you being your elder sisters rather it's the other way round...

They are lucky that you are not a high man...

jaxxy:
girls are generally problematic and sisters can show tough love. U should try to understand them while also settling ur boundaries.

I don't believe in have a bad relationship with ur sisters atleast make it a normal one if not a good one.

They are not disturbing u for personal stuffs bt things everybody in the house will use including ur parents.

I don't see where they insulted u for not buying them wig or lashes?

if u respect them they will respect u.

Note u are doing well today doesn't mean they can't do well or better 2moro. Have a good relationship with them as much as u can bare.

Doormat.

With this attitude, narcissistic women will crush you in this world.

I bet you don’t even know what narcissism and manipulation are.

You never see anything.

Small boy giving advice.