₦airaland Forum

Magnoliaa:
I will not. Keep crying about it.

Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands

TheFinesseKid:
you have zero inkling.. don't you? btw I couldn't give a hoot about you.

Magnoliaa:
Says the one nursing an headache about my restlessness.


When you wear yourself out, you will find the exit out of my Mentions.

TheFinesseKid:
Lmao. Pele.

Magnoliaa:
For your head, deer. For your head.

Kobojunkie:
1. Raised as hunters in an age where men and women are altogether out in the same field hunting/competing for the same prices?

2. Suppressed for what exact purpose and to whose advantage? Obviously not themselves so why?

TheFinesseKid:
chuckles. This funny. ROTFL

2times2:
It's a mutual feeling my dear... Nigerian men feel the same way bout' you.
P.S: didn't read a single line of whatever ya typed up there.

Magnoliaa:
K

TheFinesseKid:
my lungs. ROTFL 🤣🤣🤣

PerfectStranger:
Cry of a lonely girl

Magnoliaa:
K

TheFinesseKid:
😭🤣😭😭🤣🤣🤣😂😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😑🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣🤣😭🤣😭🤣😑🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣🤣🥴🥺🤣🤣😭🤣

Magnoliaa:
E remain small. Dey display dey go.

yrhuhfy113:
wow, awesome... you are right and have a strong point
A very compeling piece of idea about Nigerian men... sadly its true but wholistically its myopic.


I am not here to make a CASE for men... i acknowledge your expressed thoughts as reality but as INCOMPLETE.

SEE, MEN ARE NOT LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY... We are only LOVED BY MERIT, RAISED AS HUNTERS TO COMPETE AND PROVIDE else we are not competent.

THE THINGS YOU MENTION WE LACK ARE ACTUALLY NOT LACKING BUT SURPRESSED BY THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH....


Let me explain... EVEN on the case of wooing or getting a LADY for sex or marriage... LADIES GENERALLY FEEL SAFER WITH A RICH DUDE, THAN A CARING, EMPATHETIC S.O.B. Whyyy because the COUNTRY IS HARD.... and Ladies think of the FUTURE ALOT.
So after being drilled by our parents to always COME FIRST IN CLASS, and being punished for not coming first or not outdoing others.... we now enter a tetiary institution where only the BEST GRADUANDS are assured of jobs or connections... so we have to compete, hustle for money and do everything possible to be among those who thrive or survive.. AFTER YEARS OF LIVING AS A SURVIVOR.... we now marry, with HOOOOOGEE responsibilities, wife and kids... most likely WIFE HAS NOTHING DOING OR EARNS LITTLE YET FEELS ENTITLED TO BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN.... Then we should let down our GUARD and still be as caring, as emotionally sensitive, as all that you women want us to be??
C'mon sis... YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL.

Marry unambitious men from other countries who are not living in the same terrible conditions we have had in NIGERIA... they have emotions to spare, because THEIR FINANCIAL SYSTEM WORKS and is DEPENDABLE... not here. So you can't come here and GENERALIZE, when majority of your GENDER.... WILL CHOOSE SIX CARS OVER SIX PACKS. Pls... have some balance.

Little wonder why MEN are no longer interested in MARRIAGE... because it has become like an orphanage, so baby mama is now what many opt for, so as to retain their freedom. Ladies wanting EVERYTHING yet offering so little JUST BECAUSE THEY EXIST, is the highest form of lowkey witchcraft ever.

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME, ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME..... MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE..... BUT MONEY IS IMPORTANT TO ALL.

Mindlog:
For what reason(s) are they running for them?⁸😊

peter0071:
abeg go and collect your PVC

peter0071:
abeg go and collect your PVC

CaveAdullam:
1. If you say they are "horsebands", I get the point. But to say "they lack empathy is a twist of facts and reality".

Ok. Let's go.


2. Genuine love means the tendency to go beyond your boundary and make sacrifices for the person you desire. This can cause you pain and loss, however, you don't care because you are obsessed with this person - your lover.

3. Firstly, is there anything like genuine love?

"Genuine" becomes attached to "love" when the sacrifice of one lover supersedes the other. Or, when both are working together and reciprocating the benefits they gain from each other, albeit, unequal.

There's nothing like "genuine love".

Though, we may want to cancel the aforementioned by introducing religion: God and his worshippers, and nature: a mother and her child.

It seems genuine because both God and the mother are stronger and wiser. They cater for the ones beneath them because they are weak. However, if this relationship between them can tarry amid sin and old age, it would have been "pure genuine love". But this is not the case. In the end, God wants stainless worship and the mother wants to be taken care of in old age. Their present sacrifice is speculation of reciprocity in the future.

4. Empathy and kindness are easy byproducts of "genuine" love, even outside the sexual relationship.

Take note: there is nothing like Nigerian men or Nigerian women. Men are men. Women are women. There will always be tinctures that tend to differentiate them in their behaviors, but these are just social behaviors, that sprout from their culture, tradition, background, etc. To get the full scope of "men are men" and "women are women", you must begin to microscopically examine them from their evolutionary behavior, biochemical makeup, and physical and psychological makeup. Now you don't judge from one demography, you conclude by judging men and women from different demographics.

5. Constant weddings keep churning weekly. Men in their hordes still complain about being manipulated and losing their money.

Young women still see young men without luxury as useless (of course, they are useless to women in the grand scheme of the reproductive game).

Weak men who plead for love aka "simps" still abound.

This evidence questions your take on their level of empathy, kindness, and genuine love. If they were absent, it wouldn't have been the case.

6. To date, (Nigerian) men are still proving their love for (Nigerian) women. Empathy, genuine love, and kindness are famous in men's corridors. They may be suppressed, but for the women they love, it manifests.

7. Meanwhile, men don't marry women they hate. But a woman can deceive a man into marrying her even if she doesn't love him. It is a psychological and evolutionary game.



8. I agree.

But as stated above, relationship is a transaction, love is the currency. It is less mechanical because both love themselves and fight to stay above the odds or see each other not as tools but rather, as an unequal useful pair.

9. Let me tell you, it is women and children that benefit not the man. The man holds a greater power because he's able to provide and protect for his family. What's his benefit there?

10. Women cook and clean, a role that can easily be reversed and given to a maid for lesser amount and problems. But can the woman wake up one morning and pick any man that will commit? No.

You may think that this is the reason women should become independent and have their money. Yet if she gets married, she desires the man to meet up with his primal duties. In egalitarian societies, there are still sexual differences.

11. The benefits men derived are evolutionary. The benefits women derived are evolutionary, physical, material, and emotional.


12. You are correct.

What you must understand is that the average human is under the control of their primal instincts. Despite our evolved environment, that hunter-gatherer instinct wired in us for thousands of years still got a loud mouth and a loudspeaker.

It takes self-awareness to understand another person, only then will you be able to reach reasonable conclusions about people and not fall into feuds daily.

13. Based on their nature and environment, cooking and cleaning were the appropriate ways to get their number 1 priority, which was to get married to a man that will fulfill their needs. In the same way, "horsebands" work hard to provide for their wives.

These were the thought of 99.9% of women even to date. The reason you are objecting is because of the rapid change in our environment, level of exposure, and information consumed.

14. However, there is a need for women to understand themselves before even choosing a man. Here the importance of a father and mother becomes imminent, to guard, lead and counsel her in the way of men and the operations of the world.



15. Financial resources are not all they need, however, come first on the list of what they should possess before getting married.

Finance is important for his personal growth and development.

Without finance, he will be ridiculed.

Without finance, no one will respect him.

Women want commitment, finance signals that. This is what women consider before marriage.

16. Intelligence, personality, wisdom, kindness, empathy, confidence, and braveness comes second. If women chase this second bag in men, many wouldn't have been baby mamas/single mothers who complain about deadbeat dads; finance may not be obvious for this reason, but there was the mystery of it. They made the mistake of choosing wrongly.



17. These personalities may be suppressed due to circumstances at a particular time, but for the average man, these personalities are quotidian in their domain. You just need to observe the way they treat their loved ones and the people around them.



18. Women or not, men must provide, either for their family or themselves. It is because of this eternal burden to provide that makes them dwell less in the emotional domain. That emotional plane is for women because nobody expects much from them.

Men must either provide or create or else, be considered a nuisance. A bigger nuisance if he opts out of the game because he will first be disrespected and later die of hunger.



19. To be sincere, all men desire in a woman is teachableness, smartness, boldness and being able to fulfill her common role: nurturing, cleaning, and cooking.

Woke and independent women going off the scale find a problem with men since in the long run, men aren't willing to comply.

Many men are sheep though.



20. For the record, men don't marry women they hate. The cost of a wedding ceremony and running a family is too risky a task to treat a woman wrongly. Disagreements will always arise but they wouldn't get to the point it will erase his love for her except otherwise.

21. It is left for the woman to do a thorough job on the man she decides to submit to. Women make mistakes in selecting the wrong men and cry cats and dogs when these men aren't what they bargained for.

Thanks.

Cc. Emmaodet, Hedgefunds, Reminderz

TheFinesseKid:
oh! She finally types! 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣😭😭😭😭🤣🤣😭😭😭🤣🤣😭😭😭🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣

yrhuhfy113:
wow, awesome... you are right and have a strong point
A very compeling piece of idea about Nigerian men... sadly its true but wholistically its myopic.


I am not here to make a CASE for men... i acknowledge your expressed thoughts as reality but as INCOMPLETE.

SEE, MEN ARE NOT LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY... We are only LOVED BY MERIT, RAISED AS HUNTERS TO COMPETE AND PROVIDE else we are not competent.

THE THINGS YOU MENTION WE LACK ARE ACTUALLY NOT LACKING BUT SURPRESSED BY THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH....


Let me explain... EVEN on the case of wooing or getting a LADY for sex or marriage... LADIES GENERALLY FEEL SAFER WITH A RICH DUDE, THAN A CARING, EMPATHETIC S.O.B. Whyyy because the COUNTRY IS HARD.... and Ladies think of the FUTURE ALOT.
So after being drilled by our parents to always COME FIRST IN CLASS, and being punished for not coming first or not outdoing others.... we now enter a tetiary institution where only the BEST GRADUANDS are assured of jobs or connections... so we have to compete, hustle for money and do everything possible to be among those who thrive or survive.. AFTER YEARS OF LIVING AS A SURVIVOR.... we now marry, with HOOOOOGEE responsibilities, wife and kids... most likely WIFE HAS NOTHING DOING OR EARNS LITTLE YET FEELS ENTITLED TO BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN.... Then we should let down our GUARD and still be as caring, as emotionally sensitive, as all that you women want us to be??
C'mon sis... YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL.

Marry unambitious men from other countries who are not living in the same terrible conditions we have had in NIGERIA... they have emotions to spare, because THEIR FINANCIAL SYSTEM WORKS and is DEPENDABLE... not here. So you can't come here and GENERALIZE, when majority of your GENDER.... WILL CHOOSE SIX CARS OVER SIX PACKS. Pls... have some balance.

Little wonder why MEN are no longer interested in MARRIAGE... because it has become like an orphanage, so baby mama is now what many opt for, so as to retain their freedom. Ladies wanting EVERYTHING yet offering so little JUST BECAUSE THEY EXIST, is the highest form of lowkey witchcraft ever.

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME, ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME..... MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE..... BUT MONEY IS IMPORTANT TO ALL.

Magnoliaa:
E still remain small. Dey display dey go.

Persephone1:
[i]"Marry a typical Nigerian Man at your own peril"

When I type these words, it's not from a place of hate towards men ( I don't hate anybody) It is from careful analysis of marriages to Nigerian Men which mostly lack genuine love, empathy and kindness. Nigerian Marriages are mostly driven by "needs" and "means" to an end. Too systematic and unnatural and the one with the highest bargaining chip gets the most benefit.

Our mothers didn't teach us enough about Men. They didn't know either until they got married, unfortunately they are still learning about Men too. That is why the popular saying "Ile oko ile eko ni" (Your husband house is a school) is usually the soothing balm to unfavourable experiences a wife has with her husband. One question I always ask myself when I hear these words as parting words of advice for young wife is. Does that mean she is getting married into a strange,unknown and possibly unfavourable world? Why represent her husband as an unending course? And will she ever graduate and be relieved of painful lessons?. Ask these women these questions and they will shake their heads in mockery but the truth is, They weren't taught enough about the Men they are getting married to. How would they when they didn't know who they are either. To understand another person there must be a certain level of self awareness you have reached yourself. This way you have enough level of intelligence to be a perfect judge of character. But when a woman believe all she needs to be is a good cook and good konji reliever then all she will seek is a man who has Kitchen and bed.


Men are the worst in this joke of an institution. Configured to believe all they need to posses is Financial ability to provide. The upbringing of the typical Nigerian Man is very very wrong. Trained with little to no empathy,kindness, self care, sense of belonging, self love but burdened with sense of responsibility brought up like a robot to "provide" only. Most Nigerian men are robotic minded, unable to connect emotionally without aide yet this men are expected to naturally see their brides as a part of themselves. Wishful thinking if you ask me. And when some men luckily achieve this, the society (Men and Women) mock him. Aside this, they don't readily know what they want and are easily tossed by the society.

We create a society devoid of emotional engagement but want the benefits emotions birth. Compassion and affections brings liberty, a man who lacks these will see his wife as his slave and property, he gets to do with her what he seem best and not what is good for her. We really have a long way to go as a Society.

Nigerian Men make terrible horsebands