this is a very DIFFICULT problem. you have to find out exactly why she left. Try to know the exact story!

the fact that the man did not call to know how is children are doing all these years is a very big problem.
did he even try to reconcile when she left

and what did your family do all these years with him? did you try to reconcile them?

Kobojunkie:
No be everybody get your kind stamina. Each person should know when to call it quits too.

There are women out there who have endured worse beatings in marriage and continue to endure it even to today believing it gets worse sometimes b4 I gets better. Osinachi was probably thinking exactly that too, believing she too was built like those women only she found out the hard way that she was nothing like them.

Make we leave individuals to decide for themselves how to handle their own marriage situation abeg! All married women, including OP'S sister don't need to settle for the same lot as you in marriage. Let each decide for self.

The issues is not domestic violence naw.
I believe if you truly love someone you stand by them in trying time not quitting like a weakling

NdubisiCharles:

Am afraid if is he for real or did he have any evil thing on mind, u know all this nnewi, Anambra men

Are you not a guy man, can't you check the guy on behalf of your sister as a senior brother ?That's why it's good to have money as a man. Make nobody come dey suffer my sister God abeg o.

3ice9ce:


I'm sure after your father bought your mother, they put her in nylon bag to take home. Ezi.

o obele ezi?

Ndidi2:
■ The issues is not domestic violence naw. I believe if you truly love someone you stand by them in trying time not quitting like a weakling

Define love? We all use that word as though it has the same exact meaning across the board when it never has. And why do we use love as a reason to shun commonsense?

Look at Osinachi's case for instance. Did love keep her from being used as a punching bag in marriage?

Did love keep starvation from ravaging OP'S sister and her children in the marriage? The love keep the man from eventually abandoning her and her kids for 8 solid years?

Does love even have a real value if it one-sided?

Midastorch:


I'm a Yoruba man working with a top shot from Nnewi makes me realized that that an Nnewi man never jokes with his immediate family especially if his extended family is involved..yes , they can be egotistical, put their hands in anything as long as it pays their bills but they always put family first...nothing is wrong with an Nnewi man from Anambra

God bless you jare

We are d best in Anambra
Not bragging.
The wife is a weakling..

Beremx:
So it's because the man doesn't have money he's requesting for your sister to come back? Probably he has lavished all he had on women and he's now looking for his wife to come suffer with him.
Your sister should move on with her life and take care of the kids.
Nonsense

Why don't you read and comprehend before allowing your fingers to type?

Kobojunkie:
Define love? We all use that word as though it has the same exact meaning across the board when it never has. And why do we use love as a reason to shun commonsense?

Look at Osinachi's case for instance. Did love keep her from being used as a punching bag in marriage?

Did love keep starvation from ravaging OP'S sister and her children in the marriage? The love keep the man from eventually abandoning her and her kids for 8 solid years?

Does love even have a real value if it one-sided?

The issue in question is not domestic violence
d woman chicken out bc he is broke.

Ask your brother in-laws if he has gotten enough wealth that can sustain him and your sister should your sister decides to come back.

If yes. Let him give one evidence to showcase his claim.

If the evidence is okay, let your sister go back to him. But if he hasn't gotten adequate wealth, your sister will stay put, let him keep acquiring it is enough.

Ndidi2:
■The issue in question is not domestic violence
■ d woman chicken out bc he is broke.

I don't understand. Is domestic violence the only reason that exists out there for why a woman would want to leave a marriage or something? When you were dating... assuming you did... did you only leave a relationship only in the case of violence?

2. Wow.. so leaving a marriage when there is no money to sustain it means one is chicken? Yikes!

NdubisiCharles:
Good day pals, I have a sister whose husband abandoned for the past 8 yrs now,
with kids, male and female, the boy is now 9yrs, while the girl is now 8 yrs, my sis was abandoned after giving birth to the little girl.
She single handedly took the children far away and keep raising them up till date, now this is happening.

Yesterday, I received a call from my young sis, saying that her forgotten husband just called and was pleading for her return, that what will she do, that she needs my advice as senior, for me not to fall into conclusion I gave her 48 hours to reply to her, .....

Today I called the man (husband) he sounds so calm, "he said he need them back, he told me that he never chase my sis away, that it was my sis that carry her bag and left his house. Ran away with the 2kids, that he paid my sis bride price, he has visited my family for reconciliation but sis said she ain't going back that hunger is in the house, he admitted that then he was broke, "that he is not a drunker, womanizer, fetish, or never lay hand on my sis, and that he is God fearing man" only that he has no money when asked my sis she confirmed it.

Please friends advice me on what to do

That man never shown any sign of seriousness for the fact that up till now he can't fix up himself

He is expected to sound calmly because he is looking for a way to come back since he is not different from a wonderer

Now he said he never chased his wife out, that she is the one that packed out

Ok it that's the case, what efforts did he make to bring them back

Maybe nothing, then he relax and enjoyed his freedom and hope to start another half marriage life with another unlucky woman

Ok, at the end, he just woke up one morning and realize that he has been lost and wants to find his root that's why he is seeking to come back as a *chaff not a wheat*

Your sister must have given heart out to another person but keeps the relationship coded

Will he be able to be the slave of the house while your sister remains loyal to that person that kept her going all these while she was in trauma

Will your sister shelter him and feed him?, of course he will pretend he is looking for a job, but so far your sister can afford to feed the family, pay rent and school fees, what makes you think the man will ever hustle

He will say to himself that, there is no need for him to stress himself since she is capable

Is he coming back to her to monitor her life and eves drop on all her calls to know when she is speaking with other people who stood by her during those past difficult times, there by suspecting all her movements and calls

Is he now coming back as a liability or as a father, who the children already knew that he abandoned them and has no impact in their lives and was never there for them
Or he thinks the children doesn't understands because they are kids

Then tomorrow, when the children remains loyal to their mother, he will twart it by saying that, their mother taught them to disrespect him

I think that man should fix himself up,

Pay there school fees upfront for a whole session

Get accommodation for them and come back properly for them to reunite with him

Alternatively, if she wants to accept him back and continue carrying her cross
*Na she Sabi*

Beremx:
So it's because the man doesn't have money he's requesting for your sister to come back? Probably he has lavished all he had on women and he's now looking for his wife to come suffer with him.
Your sister should move on with her life and take care of the kids.
Nonsense

You must be a 🤡

Keep hating on men until menopause catches up with you. I hope you don't have a guy servicing your kpekpus?

Kobojunkie:
I don't understand. Is domestic violence the only reason that exists out there for why a woman would want to leave a marriage or something? When you were dating... assuming you did... did you only leave a relationship only in the case of violence?

2. Wow.. so leaving a marriage when there is no money to sustain it means one is chicken? Yikes!

when you are having headache do you cut your head off?

Are you kidding me here?

don't leave your spouse bc he is broke Biko.

Ndidi2:
■ when you are having headache do you cut your head off?
■ Are you kidding me here? don't leave your spouse bc he is broke Biko.

That is a silly question to ask.

2. What law says you can't do that though? Who says you should not or can't do just that? So you would rather women tie themselves down to deadbeats in marriage?

Ndidi2:
The issue in question is not domestic violence
d woman chicken out bc he is broke.

I guess you are just encountering the moniker (Kobojunkie) for the 1st time here. My advice is, leave our Kobojunkie to do his/her spin.
Come back tomorrow with this exact story, s/he will give an opposite spin.

Kobojunkie:
That is a silly question to ask.

2. What law says you can't do that though? Who says you should not or can't do just that? So you want instead for women to tie themselves down to deadbeats in marriage?

it silly for u to insist a woman should leave her marriage bc the husband is temporary broke

O daro

Done..
Everyone does what is best for them.
I can't leave my husband bc he is broke
We de grindam together




SHIKENA

Curiouscity:


I guess you are just encountering the moniker (Kobojunkie) for the 1st time here. My advice is, leave our Kobojunkie to do his/her spin.
Come back tomorrow with this exact story, s/he will give an opposite spin.

my dear l am aware of his..........
Thank you.

Ndidi2:
■ it silly for u to insist a woman should leave her marriage [b]bc the husband is temporary broke[/b]O daro. Done..Everyone does what is best for them.
I can't leave my husband bc he is broke
We de grindam together. SHIKENA

"Temporary broke" for 8 solid years? He literally shunned the welfare of his children for 8 solid years and you call that being Temporarily broke? Wow!

She should go back to her husband and put everything in God's hand

YOUR SISTER IS VERY STUPID

I don't think you know the real reason (s) why she left him.
You people should better don't force her
Allow her to make her decision.
If truly he cared about his kids, there's no way he wouldn't have looked for them all these years.

Beremx:
So it's because the man doesn't have money he's requesting for your sister to come back? Probably he has lavished all he had on women and he's now looking for his wife to come suffer with him.
Your sister should move on with her life and take care of the kids.
Nonsense

Stop talking like a fool, did you not read the write up where the man said it was the sister who abandoned him because he didn't have money? And when Op said he asked the sister and she confirmed it was true, this is a public forum it's not a place for you to show your stvpidity

Zooposki:


He needs her back for the below. Tired of doing it himself.

Then never get married so that you won't be tools. I dont know why some deprived women have wierd mentality.

number2016:
■ She should go back to her husband and put everything in God's hand

Because na God go come down feed, clothe and pay school fees, hospital bills, and house rent for she and her kid, right?

iwe di oku

Beremx:
So it's because the man doesn't have money he's requesting for your sister to come back? Probably he has lavished all he had on women and he's now looking for his wife to come suffer with him.
Your sister should move on with her life and take care of the kids.
Nonsense

I’m Igbo too and a man does not own a woman because he paid bride price.Bride price is paid as a traditional rite and does not mean u own the woman.

The so called bride price can be returned in event of divorce and underage children stay with their mother until they come of age.The man does not own the children alone either.

Chigozie321:

Most delta state culture too are woven like yours ....but I kinda love the Igbo culture on some marital stands.

sandygechy:
I’m Igbo too and a man does not own a woman because he paid bride price.Bride price is paid as a traditional rite and does not mean u own the woman.

The so called bride price can be returned in event of divorce and underage children stay with their mother until they come of age.The man does not own the children alone either.

I’m Igbo too and a man does not own a woman because he paid bride price.Bride price is paid as a traditional rite and does not mean u own the woman.

The so called bride price can be returned in event of divorce and underage children stay with their mother until they come of age.The man does not own the children alone either.

frndfghtr:

Am a nnewi man, we love our families, you are a liar
My advice to you is to hurry and beg the man, even if it last for thirty years, you just help the man to train his children, am a igbo man, once bride price is been paid, in our custom, the the man is the owner of your sis and the kids

frndfghtr:

Am a nnewi man, we love our families, you are a liar
My advice to you is to hurry and beg the man, even if it last for thirty years, you just help the man to train his children, am a igbo man, once bride price is been paid, in our custom, the the man is the owner of your sis and the kids

What does owner of kids mean practically

How does one own a grown up child that has become an adult

What does this ownership look like?
When the child starts working he will give his father his salary or what?

What is the benefit of owning a child

Carcholce:


Some of you will just comment with bitterness.

You read it clearly that it was the woman that took her bag and ran away because the said man was broke which was “then” (8years ago) the OP sisters confirmed the man’s allegations to be true.

Why are you bitter?

Sorry if you read clearly you would have seen OBVIOUS CONTRADICTION in the story

He claimed the man abandoned sister after daughter born and then said the opposite

For the sake of the kids, she needs to go back to her husband. As long as he is making sincere efforts to provide for the family, and he doesn’t abuse her or the kids.
Statistically, single mothers don’t raise kids well.

The thing that chased her away the first time will surely chase her away again. Give her your blessings to remain single since she’s doing well without the man. When the children grow up, they’ll look for their father.