₦airaland Forum

My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?

Finish what you started in your brother's life. Don't get him stranded. You have gone too far to quit. Sponsor his HND. Even if he is ungrateful, complete the sacrifice and let the gods take the blame.

Delay is better than prevention. Sponsoring him for more two years will delay but cannot prevent your own success. But stopping halfway means near success syndrome for both of you. The only reason I will advise you to leave him halfway is if he is wasting the academic opportunity. Make sure you see his OND results or even the certificate to confirm he actually used the first opportunity well before you further sponsor his HND. His CGPA must not be so high but the results should at least show that he attended lectures and sat for exams. Why do I say his CGPA must not be so high? Most of the higher institutions in Nigeria have very terrible systems that frustrate students and can make even a very brilliant student fail. The terrible systems can pass a dumb student and fail a very intelligent student. So, I won't use your brother's CGPA to judge his seriousness in this case.

You sponsoring your brother for more two years will not make it impossible for you to further your own studies. It is not another journey of 10 or more years, it is more two years. The extra two-year journey is not easy but it is doable for you and does not prevent your own academic journey. But you leaving the brother now might cause you a serious regret in future. Weigh the scenarios and choose the one with the least consequences. Consider the long-term effects of your decisions, don't consider only the immediate effects. Thanks.

If you ask me na who I go ask

Be selfish

Your siblings should learn skills while you also try your best to support them

You already dropped out so you know how it feels. Do you want your siblings to join the dropout crew? If its a curse on your family, do your best to break it. I wish you all the best and may your siblings not turn out to be ingrate in Jesus name.

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Go to YouTube, search "Black Tax by Apostle Femi Lazarus." Listen to the message and thank me later.

TheWinterBird:
Why are your parents not helping? You're paying his rent and school fees; that's a lot of responsibility on you, especially when you're struggling and aren't taking care of yourself or your own dreams.

I read your other thread (https://www.nairaland.com/7927010/parents-sickle-cell-kids-how) where you said the responsibilities on your three SS siblings also fall on you. Your parents just decided to bring kids into the world to suffer, including you, who is fending for everyone because you're the oldest and happen to be AA. If you were also SS, you'll still be doing everything for all of them just because you're the "oldest", na wa o. Your siblings should learn some skills, even if online skills to start earning some money and take some of these burdens off you. You cannot continue putting yourself on the backburner just because of them.

Oh, he's the same guy? The last time I called out his parents for their wickedness, he and others came for my head.

I don't know how to massage people's ego, so I guess having the words 'wicked' and 'parent' in the same sentence triggered people's emotions, but that is what it is. His parents did not only leave behind three SS kids; they failed at their utmost responsibility, transferred major liabilities to him (the firstborn), and are probably only waiting to "eat the fruit of their labour" as always.

He is only 27, but his justification is that his parents are old. By the age of 50 or 60, a man should be fulfilling his purpose, not waiting for the "fruits of labour." How can his parents be considered too old when their first child is only 27 years old? Even if they married late, it still does not justify anything. Marrying late should be a reason to have fewer children, perhaps one or two.

Never seen a thing like this in my life tbh. To break this cycle of black tax, OP needs to call out his parents and get them to be responsible. There is little his siblings can do given their health challenges. Get your parents to live up to their responsibilities. It is as simple as that.

Thank you all for your responses I really appreciate it.

I can give you the same advice my husband gives My younger brother who is about the same age as you and comes to visit me in my husband house and that is follow ur mind. You are old enuf to make your decisions

Foodqueen:
Be selfish

ARE YOU FOR REAL

Don't be selfish . Your brother only has one year left ,help him to finish and you can start your own school when he's done .

Ok

Op you're in soup

What will you say is your achievement in the life of others when you eventually leave this world if your brother who is looking up to you to finish his programme that you helped him to start is left stranded in his final year?
Pls finish what you have started and leave your reward in the hand of God.

Oga make your siblings go hustle. No do pass yourself. At the end, they will still blame you no matter what.

Oga u don try


🐿️

Becareful

Teach your siblings to hussle so u too can rest. After sponsoring ur bro thru OND you ought to hav told him to work and continue his education while u face ur own life. Same person will marry tomorrow and forget how u had to pause ur life for him. Love your neighbor like yourself not more than yoursef

Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?

Go back to FUOYE, pursue your dream, dont take more than you can bear on family, be selfish to your self.

Being selfish or not will not change anything.

Marriage and kids are just for the upper class and those from royal houses in Africa .

Help your brother. Even if he doesn't reward you, grace will be on you and your children for ever.

That grace can bring an unimaginable helper that will change your life forever.

We that go university, get 2:1 ,we no see am use do good job ever since.

Moreover, when time is right for you to go school, go to Polytechnic not university. I would have been a Manager in GTB today if I had attended poly.

Ladies are naturally cold hearted and selfish.


It's about time men begin to reciprocate

Yes

👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯

Reading...

*Politeness*
We all know what you'll do: you'll take care of your brother - because firstborns are generally incapable of putting themselves first. Then other needs will arise from him or other siblings and the cycle goes on. You are not going back to any school

I definitely will be more selfish, self-centred and so called wicked this coming year.

What I won't be is rude, arrogant or covert another man's property.

So help them Lord.