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Should I Be More Selfish? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by bassdow: 1:28pm On Dec 29, 2023
I was Here...
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Truvelisback(m): 1:28pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?
Are your siblings not working? It's high time they fend for themselves while you fend for yourself and academics. You have tried. Whatever little you have, you may assist them.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by veexa101(f): 1:29pm On Dec 29, 2023
Is your brother not working??

You need to seat him down and let him know that you aint santa claus.
You should have let him know since that you are financially limited, and also your plans to continue schooling.

I wish you well, and hope things work out for you both.
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by MASTAkiLLAh(m): 1:29pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?
an uncle once told me to settle myself first before I settle other people. I was in your shoes once years ago, making so much money with nothing to show for it because of load. Let everyone carry their load, your brother should also get factory work or something doing. Look out for yourself now so you'll be able to shoulder your responsibilities properly later on. They won't die but they'll surely be the ones to call you illiterate tomorrow even if it's behind your back if you don't go to school now that your head is still hot

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Proudlyngwa(m): 1:30pm On Dec 29, 2023
Blendy77:
Teach your siblings to hussle so u too can rest. After sponsoring ur bro thru OND you ought to hav told him to work and continue his education while u face ur own life. Same person will marry tomorrow and forget how u had to pause ur life for him. Love your neighbor like yourself not more than yoursef
Story of my life
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by oyebanji(m): 1:33pm On Dec 29, 2023
Your brother should try and get something doing too so that you can be relieved.
I hope your siblings are grateful and will remember your sacrifices in the future.



Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by DeepSight(m): 1:34pm On Dec 29, 2023
immortalcrown:
Finish what you started in your brother's life. Don't get him stranded. You have gone too far to quit. Sponsor his HND. Even if he is ungrateful, complete the sacrifice and let the gods take the blame.

OP please be very careful of advise like this. There is a reason why in aircraft you are told to put on your oxygen mask first before trying to help anyone with theirs. That's because if you are not fit, you can't even help anyone. Get your life in order and stand on your feet and then you can help even better.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Kingray10: 1:35pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yes oo
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by immortalcrown(m): 1:35pm On Dec 29, 2023
DeepSight:
OP please be very careful of advise like this. There is a reason why in aircraft you are told to put on your oxygen mask first before trying to help anyone with theirs. That's because if you are not fit, you can't even help anyone. Get your life in order and stand on your feet and then you can help even better.
He sponsoring his brother for more two years will not make it impossible for him to further his own studies. It is not another journey of 10 or more years. The extra two-year journey is not easy but it is doable for him and does not prevent his own academic journey. But he leaving the brother now might cause him a serious regret in future.
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by fyzaila: 1:36pm On Dec 29, 2023
Acidosis:



Oh, he's the same guy? The last time I called out his parents for their wickedness, he and others came for my head.

I don't know how to massage people's ego, so I guess having the words 'wicked' and 'parent' in the same sentence triggered people's emotions, but that is what it is. His parents did not only leave behind three SS kids; they failed at their utmost responsibility, transferred major liabilities to him (the firstborn), and are probably only waiting to "eat the fruit of their labour" as always.

He is only 27, but his justification is that his parents are old. By the age of 50 or 60, a man should be fulfilling his purpose, not waiting for the "fruits of labour." How can his parents be considered too old when their first child is only 27 years old? Even if they married late, it still does not justify anything. Marrying late should be a reason to have fewer children, perhaps one or two.

Never seen a thing like this in my life tbh. To break this cycle of black tax, OP needs to call out his parents and get them to be responsible. There is little his siblings can do given their health challenges. Get your parents to live up to their responsibilities. It is as simple as that.



Apt! This is nothing but the truth. Children are been punished for their parent's mistakes or selfish interests perhaps. Smh

At Op the lord is your strength ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ™

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Harddiskng(m): 1:37pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?

Oga you are not a camel. You canโ€™t keep carrying all the load of the house.

Help as much as you can without leaving yourself out in the cold. Let everyone know they have to turn on their individual hustle or sapa would strangulate them.

4 Likes

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by oluwaseyi0: 1:39pm On Dec 29, 2023
immortalcrown:
Finish what you started in your brother's life. Don't get him stranded. You have gone too far to quit. Sponsor his HND. Even if he is ungrateful, complete the sacrifice and let the gods take the blame.

Never take this advice,

Let your father take care of your brother why you focus on yourself

You can give them upkeep here and there but house rent and school fees are for the parents

3 Likes

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Rejouir: 1:41pm On Dec 29, 2023
Bro wait for another year. This should be your last financial help. Then focus on yourself.
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by scoobyblogspot(m): 1:43pm On Dec 29, 2023
I just pray he doesnt forget your good deeds

1 Like

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by IamMobisola(f): 1:43pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?
You have tried in your siblings life. Now that your bro is done with HND1, let him go and look for job and earn himself some money too. You need to start thinking of yourself too, pay for your part-time studies and continue working. Your brother needs to pause his HND 2 education and look for job. If your brother knows about your situation and is still bothering you about his HND 2 fees then he is a very selfish person.

Look out for yourself, you have tried enough ooo

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by izibili44: 1:46pm On Dec 29, 2023
My brother i dont know you. Make i advise you.After his hnd let him learn fashion or something else. Why you face your school. When you ara through and start making money again you continue. Myself i make sure i took care of myself first. Save all i can save wake comont. Now i can take care of my people. More over they are okay on their own. isote author=Yemike post=127670350]My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?[/quote]
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Yemike(m): 1:46pm On Dec 29, 2023
IamMobisola:

You have tried in your siblings life. Now that your bro is done with HND1, let him go and look for job and earn himself some money too. You need to start thinking of yourself too, pay for your part-time studies and continue working. Your brother needs to pause his HND 2 education and look for job. If your brother knows about your situation and is still bothering you about his HND 2 fees then he is a very selfish person.

Look out for yourself, you have tried enough ooo
I took up the responsibility in the first place because they're SS
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by IamMobisola(f): 1:48pm On Dec 29, 2023
immortalcrown:
He sponsoring his brother for more two years will not make it impossible for him to further his own studies. It is not another journey of 10 or more years. The extra two-year journey is not easy but it is doable for him and does not prevent his own academic journey. But he leaving the brother now might cause him a serious regret in future.
This is a terrible idea. This OP has been financially taking care of all three siblings for years while putting his life on hold. There are jobs those with HND 1 can do and make money, like 30-50k. In fact I have seen lots of jobs that requires minimum of OND. Let the younger put his HND 2 education on pause and look for those jobs, let him start making money for himself too and start to fend for himself. The OP only has an SSCE certificate while his younger bro has an HND 1. It is enough, he has tried.

God forbid anything happens to OP now, won't they survive?

3 Likes

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Aplaudez(m): 1:48pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month
hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?

I guessed you're still staying in your family house, having savings in your father's house is going to be a very difficult one, not to talk of you saving up for school, see ehn find a way of detaching yourself a bit, send them things you can afford, don't discomfort yourself for others, you'll see that things will fall in place rapidly.

I wish you a prosperous 2024.
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by obinna58(m): 1:49pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?
I Dey 27 too and e like say na this age suffer person pass
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by DeepSight(m): 1:49pm On Dec 29, 2023
immortalcrown:
He sponsoring his brother for more two years will not make it impossible for him to further his own studies. It is not another journey of 10 or more years. The extra two-year journey is not easy but it is doable for him and does not prevent his own academic journey. But he leaving the brother now might cause him a serious regret in future.

Same goes for abandoning his own education and establishment. Such is very dangerous as well.

I pray he is rightly guided and receives help from on high.

1 Like

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by IamMobisola(f): 1:50pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:

I took up the responsibility in the first place because they're SS
I know. Like I said let your younger bro get a job now because Na still work e go find when he finishes his HND 2. Let him look for work now and save money for his HND2
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by DeepSight(m): 1:50pm On Dec 29, 2023
IamMobisola:

This is a terrible idea. This OP has been financially taking care of all three siblings for years while putting his life on hold. There are jobs those with HND 1 can do and make money, like 30-50k. In fact I have seen lots of jobs that requires minimum of OND. Let the younger put his HND 2 education on pause and look for those jobs, let him start making money for himself too and start to fend for himself. The OP only has an SSCE certificate while his younger bro has an HND 1. It is enough, he has tried.

God forbid anything happens to OP now, won't they survive?

Thank you. That last line is the most important thought.
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by immortalcrown(m): 1:50pm On Dec 29, 2023
IamMobisola:

This is a terrible idea. This OP has been financially taking care of all three siblings for years while putting his life on hold. There are jobs those with HND 1 can do and make money, like 30-50k. In fact I have seen lots of jobs that requires minimum of OND. Let the younger put his HND 2 education on pause and look for those jobs, let him start making money for himself too and start to fend for himself. The OP only has an SSCE certificate while his younger bro has an HND 1. It is enough, he has tried.

God forbid anything happens to OP now, won't they survive?
I never said the OP has not tried. But more two years is not what will destroy the OP's destiny that has survived many years.
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Originalsly: 1:51pm On Dec 29, 2023
Is it your responsibility to care for your siblings when your parents are alive? ... and healthy? ... and capable? Not saying that you shouldn't help as much as you can ... but to be the one responsible? I don't think so. Your siblings in turn should be looking to their parents... not you. If your parents are irresponsible... you can help them .... but they in turn must be helping themselves and not seeing you as the provider. You sew ... why not get them involved... aquire that skill ... find customers in their friends and school mates? ... and can even join in forming a sewing g establishment. What do they do to help themselves? God forbid that you are unable to hustle ... then what?... what happens to them? ... what happens to you? ... who will help you? ... they who can't hustle for themselves? You're 27 ... don't you have plans to having your own kids? How many more years do you really think you will be done seeing your siblings stand on their own feet? How old will you be?... broke at that age. Is it then you will start hustling for yourself? ... to find a fiancee? ... let alone to find bride price?

"It is better to teach a man to fish than to keep providing him with fish" ........ something like that!

2 Likes

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by occfx: 1:53pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?

There is need to be selfish... But do what you can to help siblings and also help yourself. Join the people that needs help.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by LooneyLester: 1:59pm On Dec 29, 2023
Why waste money going to a forking useless school



People way graduate from prestigious uni never see jobs



Shey suffer no day tire you


Be selfish and use that money to better your life in other ways


Go and take online classes, learn new things


If you can , buy a laptop and learn how to code

1 Like

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by izubext007: 2:00pm On Dec 29, 2023
Simple
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by Itiskdg121(m): 2:01pm On Dec 29, 2023
If its a curse on your family, do your best to break it.
"Words on marble"
Mom007:
You already dropped out so you know how it feels. Do you want your siblings to join the dropout crew? If its a curse on your family, do your best to break it. I wish you all the best and may your siblings not turn out to be ingrate in Jesus name.
Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by DeepSight(m): 2:02pm On Dec 29, 2023
immortalcrown:
I never said the OP has not tried. But more two years is not what will destroy the OP's destiny that has survived many years.

This shows you know little about life. The next 24 hours can change destiny not to speak of the next two years.

1 Like

Re: Should I Be More Selfish? by asid(m): 2:02pm On Dec 29, 2023
Yemike:
My life have been stagnant for like 4-5 years now. I work in a factory and I also sow clothes.
I've not been able to spend money on myself or to pursue my dream as a result of family responsibilities.
I'm a drop out of FUOYE and I'll so much love to go back to school but the plan has been failing for 2 years now.

I've obtained a part time form from Adekunle Ajasin University Ibadan campus last month hoping to start the new session next year but my problem now is that I have a brother that just finished HND 1, his rent has expired and he'll pay his school fees this January.
I paid his rent and school fees for HND 1 and he has notified me for HND 2.
My fear now is that time us running out for me (I'm 27yrs now) as I sincerely wanted to go back to school but I can't sponsor myself and two siblings.

Should I wait for another year or everybody should carry his cross?

What's the amount needed?

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