₦airaland Forum

Shower thought.

Asẹ edumare, iwọ na wa pẹ

budaatum:
Glad to see you have found your level.

You will live long.

MrDoGood:
So, virginity is an achievement for you. I can't even imagine how your brain thinks. So, virginity is what you want your woman to bring to the table. Well, congratulations

is your brain paining you? Virginity is one of many criteria.

Maysdevices:
While I agree with your assertion, the world is not always as black and white as you put it: 1 + 1 doesn’t always equal two and the meanest faced of men might carry the gentlest of hearts

This relationship dynamic you offered isn’t really the answer to the MAN/WOMAN problem. This is because it has existed since the beginning of time and is still the norm now in modest countries and villages
Even in perfectly formed unions like you just described, they are not without their problems and some even end up worse than the players and hoes who marry. Because the players and the hoes who marry or do not marry will end up messing with them

These the players and hoes are not naive like the virgins and relationships are their butter and bread. When these two groups of people meets, its results in the world you have. The real cause of this is because humans are inherently selfish. It’s not a man that is a cheat and a woman that is gold digger because this took place and that took place

It’s because Eve wants the apple and other forbidden stuff Adam must buy and Adam wants the submission and many Eves

Eve will multiply herself in female children to share Adam if she can because of Apples and other forbidden stuff

Man will defy his Maker rules and bullshit His God who He is supposed to walk with for purpose and sustenance again, again and again for the Daughters of Eve

Only to be fooled by the daughters of eve.

For me I have stop giving ladies money. If U feel our love is real prove it without money. We are fine

I endorse this message!

Hushpuppy20:
Asẹ edumare, iwọ na wa pẹ

Tun iwa rẹ ṣẹ though. Eni ti eebu yara lẹ nu rẹ ko le pẹ láyé.

Gerrard59:
This post reminds me of my friend who dates an ex-hookup babe. He told me she has changed and he loves like that. To be fair though, he too went on rampant casual sex with various ladies before he dated her.

There goes my stance: if Nigerian men want chaste women, they too as men need to zip their trousers. These women aren't sleeping with fellow women in the bid to disvirgin themselves. Be like those in the north who seek virgin women and as a result, they (the men) too adhere to no premarital sex. I preached this here: https://www.nairaland.com/7684230/how-reduce-hook-ups-nigeria


And oh! Most Nigerian men will marry non-virgins regardless of the social media alpha male rants (they sometimes make strong points tho). Most of the the girls who flirted and had rampant sexual intercourse in school don marry and have children. The ones wey never marry, I'm cocksure would marry should they decide to. Nigerian men, especially southern men, deserve the women they get. Who for marry these women before? Northern men?

Not sure the north - where they divorce like water is a good analogy for this.

Virgin men should marry Virgin women

Used men should marry used women

Broke men should marry broke women

Rich men should marry rich women

Single mothers should marry single fathers.

Period.

Bi iru iwọ bayi abi?
O ti ẹ wunmi kin mọ dara dara.

budaatum:
Tun iwa rẹ ṣẹ though. Eni ti eebu yara lẹ nu rẹ ko le pẹ láyé.

CorrectionFLuid:
If you don't value it, allow someone who does to value it in peace. Instead of joining women to shame him.

I congratulated him at the end

budaatum:
It's obvious you were brought up well.

Oh yes...thank you..

Obaaderemi2:
I thought he was even going to talk about going for high value women who bring a lot to the marriage in terms of intelligence, education, earning power, cleanliness, etc.
So it's important to marry one dumb poorly educated girl all because she's a virgin?

A woman who has the high value characteristics you just mentioned but does not have character and self control will drive a man early to his grave

cutecommend:
There is nobody that is less. But if several ladies don't want to settle for broke guys and some guys may want to hustle to meet up, why not guys too vehemently settle for virgins?

If some ladies are plain on what they want and size guys before agreeing to date, why are guys not so loud in insisting that they want only virgins when they make it.

The ladies seem to be winning here. Many ladies have sex with multiple people and these same ladies may insist on marrying rich guys. They may even broke shame working class guys who earn averagely. So why are guys not so loud on insisting on virginity. Raise the standard!

Truth: Am just saying this as its part of the insight I got from one or more person.
We have good and marriageable ladies that are not virgins and we have good husband materials that may not be rich.

I agree with you

GloriousGbola:
Not sure the north - where they divorce like water is a good analogy for this.

That is due to Islamic laws - part of which contributes to the adherence to virginity amongst the young yet-to-be married women. I am curious, what is the divorce rates amongst Muslim couples in the Southwest (especially outside Lagos)? Higher or comparable to their counterparts in the north?

Gerrard59:
That is due to Islamic laws - part of which contributes to the adherence to virginity amongst the young yet-to-be married women. I am curious, what is the divorce rates amongst Muslim couples in the Southwest (especially outside Lagos)? Higher or comparable to their counterparts in the north?

The Prophet Muhammad once said, “Of all the lawful things, divorce is the most hated by Allah.

https://www.pulse.ng/articles/lifestyle/food-and-travel/why-is-kano-state-the-divorce-capital-of-nigeria-2024072707192835051

Every month, hundreds of marriages end in Kano, one of the most populated states in Nigeria.

A rise in divorces in the 1990s earned Kano the reputation of "divorce capital" in Nigeria. The label has endured since then.

According to a 2022 BBC investigation done in partnership with the local administration, 32% of marriages in Kano don't endure more than three to six months. Another worrying pattern was also discovered by the study: some young people, aged 20 to 25, had already experienced three marriages.

It is concerning that even with the Kano State Hisbah, an Islamic organisation supported by the state, upholding Sharia law and addressing moral issues, the state is experiencing such a high rate of separation. Its (predominately Muslim) citizens are prohibited from drinking alcohol, and a specialised police unit enforces gender segregation in public areas. The Hisbah also provides counselling services tailored to support troubled couples and save their marriages.

Kano's high divorce rate can also be attributed to early marriage. Young people rush into marriage, often even before they turn 18 years old.

Another theory is that Islam's simple divorce procedure, which allows men to only say "I divorce you" or put it in writing, has some bearing. Some people even say that statements posted on social media these days can serve as divorce decrees.

In Kano, matchmakers continue to play a vital role in marriages and relationships. It is rare for single men and women in this traditional Muslim society to meet possible husbands on their own. As a result, many of the couples these matchmakers pair up marry having known very little about one another, which creates the possibility of future issues.

the north are champions in divorce. what a friend told me is that often a big man will hold on to his first wife, and switch out the others. not sure how true that is - but northerners are very causal about divorce and if you are a southerner you can get blindsided by your wife/husband's casual attitude towards marriage

also not sure there is any real 'adherence to virginity' per se

bullabong:
Are you married now?

How is it even your bleeping business?!

Reverseng:
Virgin men should settle for virgin women. You can't be a non Virgin guy and be looking for virgin woman. You can't have your cake, eat it, and still have it.

Women working in masculine roles robs them of their femininity...their woman energy as they start to think and behave like men. Survival is logical.

That being said, women should know that they're equal, simultaneous and opposite to men, as Newton put it (although he left out the Simultaneous part, which is the Big problem of the science community today)

Women should know that equality with men in every standard is wrong. A man can never carry a baby. Women aren't Fit, mentally and physically, to work in masculine roles as society preaches.

Remember, there's nothing like dirty water. It's either water or it's something else. There's nothing like logical women, and there's nothing like feminine men.


So women should return to feminine by being appreciative of what men bring to the table and know their place in humanity, NOT society because society is made up of some people who don't think for themselves, forcing rules of others, on Others

And men should be masculine by taking accountability for the women they're with. You don't promise a girl marriage and castles, only to have sex with her and abandon her. Be precise with your dealings.

Courtship should be a step towards marriage and not the nonsense we have in society today. If you don't see a future with her, don't date her.

Most of you men are dating girls you know you'll never bring to your parents. But instead if ending the courtship, you'll keep deceiving the girl, all because of sex that surprisingly enough ruins your life , because you're having a spiritual activity with someone you don't love. Obtained through deceit.

Some people choose the path of suffering and complain when the suffering happens.

Nice guys creates dysfunctional girls and dysfunctional girls creates players.

But guess what? Players don't create nice guys. So it's a straight line and not a cycle.

The burden is on men, because it's the mess we started, so we have to take accountability and put an end to it.

It's not a matter of setting for less. It's a matter of dealing with the monsters you made.

Made a lot of good points. I hope we can still learn and salvage our society.