₦airaland Forum

The real reason Nigeria is damaged is because people want to put their burden on others by shifting their obligations on others, or turning them to investments. Training your kids is an obligation and not an investment.

Why should you want your kids to take care of you by force if the health facilities and elderly homes work well? Why should you put your burial burden on them if Nigeria has plans like abroad where you can pay for everything before you die?

What your children give you should be gifts and not investments. This mentality is bad. A good child will give you gifts, but never rely on it. And if that child does it, he or she will reap the benefits cos it's called the law of sowing seeds in the bible. It should not be that if your kids don't return the investments on them in multiple folds, everyone will be cursing them. For what na?

Nigerians are so manipulative. They will use the Bible to manipulate people to their advantages. Fix your nation so that you do not rely on your kids at old age for everything. It is good to have them around, but plan your life to live independently at old age. Is it too much? Na waooo.

OOOKEWALE:
When you grow old, i pray you will not eat your words...

Don't mind the clown

Sirchiboy:
Parenthood is responsibilty not an avenue to breed kids in the hope of making them your retirement plan.
This is very common in African culture where parents make their kids their life time retirement.
Every parents should plan for their future retirement.
You can decide to support them once in a while but not a most it is your reponsiblity to cater for them in their old age.

Oga, I owe my parents everything

Of course!!! But your parents deserve everything, parents are sacred an should be treated asuch irrespective of what other part of the world do

When I think about the sacrifices that they went through and all they could have achieved I really owe them, not from a point of entitlement but from gratitude

But you owe one stranger girlfriend the whole world abi?

Sigh... What sort of reasoning is this?!!

It's not about culture or religion, it's every child's duty to look after their aged parents' needs when fortunes are reversed.

It's even the natural order of life as God created it.


The same young men saying this will still spend insane amounts of money on women who they barely know intimately.

FreeIgboho:
He's right. Don't plan to be a burden on your children

You pray for long life, one day you will grow old and discover that at that age, the only way you can avoid being a burden to someone is by taking yourself to a home for the elderly where strangers will wash your bum bum and you will be deserted by the kids you raised who according to you don't owe you anything. Besides, that is how the westerners do shay? You guys just open your mouths waaaa to speak against "African ways" like you aren't Africans. We live a life of interdependence and there is nothing admirable about the silly ways of the westerners.

FreeIgboho:
He's right. Don't plan to be a burden on your children

Sure, but at the same time, Life happens. Physical and mental health can deteriorate.... That's when they need you.

Sirchiboy:
Parenthood is responsibilty not an avenue to breed kids in the hope of making them your retirement plan.
This is very common in African culture where parents make their kids their life time retirement.
Every parents should plan for their future retirement.
You can decide to support them once in a while but not a most it is your reponsiblity to cater for them in their old age.

What you're simply implying is that the African culture is wrong
Well, the western culture of dumping parents in an adults home is worse
There should be a balance. You should take care of your parents but they shouldn't become a burden to you

FreeIgboho:
He's right. Don't plan to be a burden on your children

How many parents do you think plan to be burdens on their kids?!!

You think a grown person just sits back and decides to become a liability to the kids he or she raised?!!

You guys think you have life completely figured out... I laugh!!!

Kukutente23:
What you're simply implying is that the African culture is wrong
Well, the western culture of dumping parents in an adults home is worse
There should be a balance. You should take care of your parents but they shouldn't become a burden to you

If they become a burden, it is also your responsibility. The thing is that they should not have planned it so - it should not have been their plan to make you ther retirement plan.

Nevertheless all people of good conscience know very well the responsibility they have to their aged parents.
Only exception might be those parents who were horrible, abusive and neglectful.

Sucre6:
Op you dey yarn dust, continue saying it until it sticks, karma will always got your address, for me, I owe my parent every good damm thing in this world, they deserve it all, so does my future kids owes me, my parent spent their youth raising me and providing me all ever asked of.in my neighbor hood, me an my siblings attended the best and most expensive school, my parent aren't rich nor poor, just average but I am always seen as a rich kid in the neighborhood and everywhere, do you know why?

Because they made sure we lacked nothing, now my parent are retired and elderly, their strength can't carry them to do much as before, now I place them on monthly stipends and make sure they lacked nothing, I bought them health insurance and I am doing my best to give them the best, and so would my future kids,

if you say u owe your parent nothing, karma will smile at you when you are very old and struggling when you should be retired and resting with your kids abandoning you to suffer

God will bless you richly my brother... The only ppl that wants u to do better than them are ur parents, I'll always tell ppl, take care of your parents when they're old and fragile as it comes with alot of blessings...

Pls as for the health insurance, how did you go about it as I'll need every details on what to do and cost...

Thanks

No emotions everybody have to minimise depending on children by planning for retirement... It's a big help to the children

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
You pray for long life, one day you will grow old and discover that at that age, the only way you can avoid being a burden to someone is by taking yourself to a home for the elderly where strangers will wash your bum bum and you will be deserted by the kids you raised who according to you don't owe you anything. Besides, that is how the westerners do shay? You guys just open your mouths waaaa to speak against "African ways" like you aren't Africans. We live a life of interdependence and there is nothing admirable about the silly ways of the westerners.

ceejayluv:
Sure, but at the same time, Life happens. Physical and mental health can deteriorate.... That's when they need you.

Angelfrost:
How many parents do you think plan to be burdens on their kids?!!

You think a grown person just sits back and decides to become a liability to the kids he or she raised?!!

You guys think you have life completely figured out... I laugh!!!

lexy2014:
you, OOOKEWALE and henrybomb are saying the same thing.

when you get old, you can come back and have this conversation and tell the world whether or not you are doing what you are saying

We obviously mean FINANCIAL burden! We're NOT talking of them coming to visit you or showing they care!

Hushpuppy20:
You have said it all, we are not European so stop talking like one how can you train your child very well and he will end up talking like this? It's like this guy no suck brest o, na cow milk he drink when dem born am.

Sentimental BS!
Parents are obliged to take care of the children they brought into this world.
But children are not obliged to take care of parents in old age. Strictly

kingmsookwagh:
My mum has trained all of us to that point where we don't get to ask her for anything, but cater for ourselves and she as a person still works and has a retirement plan that can take care of her even when she is old. Forget! that woman's retirement benefits will be enough for her and even extended family members. I believe the writer is just encouraging us to plan not to be burdens to our children. But not literally saying you shouldn't help in taking care of your parents when things get tough for them.

Everything is not about money. Sending your children to go live with your elderly parents is better than nurses and caregivers. That's what most of us did when we were children. My parents sent me to go live with my grandparents. The love and effections is organic and reception, second to none.

Your visits and affections are better than millions.

That one concern you and your parents.

Actually, you do! You owe them respe and, gratitude and care.

Only an ungrateful child would turn his back on his parents especially when they become old and incapable of taking care of their bills.


Most of such children won't mind going overboard to please their girlfriends and friends at the expense of their biological parents.


If only they knew how their parents toiled night and day to get them to their present level in life.



Guess what?


When the parents of such evil children die, they turn their burials into a carnival of sorts telling whoever cares to listen how good their parents were.


Whether one's parents are swimming in affluence or not, one owes them a whole lot of gratitude by showering them with love, at least, now that they're still alive not showering hypocritical praises on them at their demise.





@hotseat

Angelfrost:
How many parents do you think plan to be burdens on their kids?!!

You think a grown person just sits back and decides to become a liability to the kids he or she raised?!!

You guys think you have life completely figured out... I laugh!!!

You are only partially correct. A lot of parents especially African mothers do plan to become dependent on their children.

LegacyB:
That one concern you and your parents.

lmao

Sirchiboy:
Parenthood is responsibilty not an avenue to breed kids in the hope of making them your retirement plan.
This is very common in African culture where parents make their kids their life time retirement.
Every parents should plan for their future retirement.
You can decide to support them once in a while but not a most it is your reponsiblity to cater for them in their old age.

I feel sorry for you.
Listen, half baked information is more deadly than no information at all.
When GOD said honour your parents, did he say "honour your father and your mother when you live under their roof or bossom?"

It's glaring to me that you're most probably in your late 20s or early 30s and you still have a lot to understand about life.

May GOD grant you some sense.

hotseat:
Only an ungrateful child would turn his back on his parents especially when they become old and incapable of taking care of their bills.


Most of such children won't mind going overboard to please their girlfriends and friends at the expense of their biological parents.


If only they knew how their parents toiled night and day to get them to their present level in life.



Guess what?


When the parents of such evil children die, they turn their burials into a carnival of sorts telling whoever cares to listen how good their parents were.

Whether one's parents are swimming in affluence or not, one owes them a whole lot of gratitude by showering them with love, at least, now that they're still alive not showering hypocritical praises on them at their demise.

@hotseat

To each his own. These are your beliefs don’t force them on others.

ibedun:
Sentimental BS!
Parents are obliged to take care of the children they brought into this world.
But children are not obliged to take care of parents in old age. Strictly

Parents save and invest first their old age. I need nothing from my kids in old age. That is the way it should be as the parents have decades to plan, save and invest money. We have to change our culture to reflect realities on ground. Parents have no business having kids without a means to care for them.

FreeIgboho:
He's right. Don't plan to be a burden on your children

you, OOOKEWALE and henrybomb are saying the same thing.

when you get old, you can come back and have this conversation and tell the world whether or not you are doing what you are saying

ibedun:
You are only partially correct. A lot of parents especially African mothers do plan to become dependent on their children.

because majority of Africans parents are poor, infact majority of Africans as a whole

No rich person will want to depend on his child for anything

Na condition cause am

Nnamdipapa:
The first time I am agreeing with you but still, I cannot have money and watch my parents suffer. They are blood but I cannot stand entitlements mentalities.

I disagree with the bolded.
Even if your parents have it all and you still have yours, its still the children's responsibility to cater for them at their old age.
We only pray that such monies are not used for hospital bills.

ibedun:
You are only partially correct. A lot of parents especially African mothers do plan to become dependent on their children.

is that what your mother does?